The Ideal & The Sea of Forms

Summary:

Oh boy here we go! Contest entry! Last minute!!!

The Ideal & The Sea of Forms

TheGreatTarbolin69 28 Jun 2021 03:46

This took way longer than I expected to write, and I hope the result is satisfying.

http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/the-ideal

Questions:

1. Is the article too long or does it draw on in some parts? What could I cut out or trim?
2. How well do you think the core concept of the article was executed through the collapsibles?
3. Does the ending provide good closure? Do you feel like something is missing?
4. Did anything feel rushed?
5. Did the inclusion of David feel forced?
6. Does the article feel consistent with itself?
7. Do you see the idea of the Sea being used in any other articles or contributions to the site? What about Groves Radiation?

And finally: Was the article boring? Did it feel like a big piece of exposition?

Re: The Ideal & The Sea of Forms

Almarduk 28 Jun 2021 04:24

+ show block

Magus Elderblood Kain or standing AOS Head Researcher, Dr. Quint Mallabar.

AOS -> OAS

accidents that may result from Aberrations following ritual performance are to be expected.

just "aberrations" isn't a really good name honestly — maybe Grovian Aberrations or Thaumic Aberrations?

causes it to enter Baseline in the form of radiation.

It isn't really radiation though — more of a form of energy. Maybe reread the short explanations I gave in my own 009 entry about it.

believed to exist somewhere between Baseline Reality and the Infoplane.

Wouldn't it make more sense for 009 to exist deep inside the Infoplane? The Infoplane holds real, imperfect information: maybe it becomes closer to the Sea the more idealistic it is.

Personnel may be unable to return from RPC-009 as a result of interaction with RPC-009-1 instances.

This implies that interaction with 009-1 impedes personnel from returning. Isn't it the other way around?

Most concepts quickly disappear from RPC-009 as they travel⁠—either physically or otherwise⁠—into Baseline Reality.

Maybe you could outright say that these rituals manifest as unique memotic quanta if they're not physical?

But these actions can also simply be the thought of them, or have been actions that once took place, but where never finished.

"But these actions can simply be conceptualization, or the initial steps of their creation."

as the retrieval of the ideal of “Life” had been proven both near impossible to achieve as well as possibly dangerous

Why?

Instead, the department has begun to “cut corners” in order to achieve the goal of self-motion of deceased life-forms.

"Instead, the Deparment has begun to search for alternative methods to achieve reanimation through RPC-009."

its size too big to fully make out.

"too large in size to fully make out"

S-2 begins asking the rest of the present personnel AECT questions in order to assess the current coherency of RPC-009.

Why exactly do they need to assess its coherency level?

Suggest adding some sort of footnote or sidenote talking about Keller.

When Magus Kain links the ideal with the fox’s corpse, they appear to momentarily become linked.

"When Magus Kain introduces the ideal to the corpse, he and it appear to become momentarily linked."

The sandwich immediately began to morph in shape into that of the Bedford Supreme with double cheese, similar to the one served in Site-112’s cafeteria: including but not limited to: poppy seed bread, high quality cheese and meat, red wine vinegar, etc,.

"The obtained sandwich immediately began to morph in shape into that of the Bedford Supreme with double cheese that is served in Site-112's cafeteria: its ingredients included poppy seed bread, high quality cheese and meat (of what types?), and red wine vinegar, among others."

I don't think the final log is really effective at conveying the mindfuck of a nonexistent color. As it is, it's just an infectious form of color that makes you go insane — it feels too similar in execution to Lovecraft's Color Out of Space.¹ I suggest having a more "eldritch" thing going for it — once it forces itself into reality, just what effects does it have on it? For some tonal inspiration, I recommend SCP-3005, in particular segments referring to the "pink light."

I might have thought if I had thought that the pink light builds upon. That it gives you this other place, your other self, forces them into you until you are flung apart. No. The pink light strips away and takes from you. It takes that special part that keeps you there, in that first world, and brings you here. This light outshines your inner light until it's gone.

---

1. No. I feel it almost ends too soon, but that's mostly because I didn't feel the ending was satisfying.
2. It was done differently than most of your articles, but more accessibly - less explanation, more bombastic show.
3. See above.
4. No.
5. Ditto.
6. Didn't catch any inconsistencies.
7. Yeah, I liked the Sea — it feels like it would mesh really nicely with RPC-313.
8. No, it was very entertaining. It was a lighter read than most of your more dense pseudoscience articles.

Footnotes

1. Is that… Is that BLUE? I'M GOING INSAAAAANEEEEEE

Re: The Ideal & The Sea of Forms

Croal 28 Jun 2021 18:08

interesting! nice concept of an article, I enjoyed it.

crit

Put a coma in between the two involved research personnel instead of a -

RPC-009 is an extra-dimensional location in which the physical manifestation of most human (or otherwise) concepts exists.

RPC-009 is an exra-dimensional plane/(or location) in which almost all mental concepts exist in physical forms.

While Access to RPC-009 for the retrieval of said concepts is possible, it is considered highly dangerous.

Such Entry methods are only to be performed by qualified DOC personnel, and must be immediately shut down should the Groves count reach critical levels in the vicinity.

Aaberrations following ritual
throughout document change this

Said rituals are only to be performed by trained personnel of the DOC.

instead of saying "said rituals" give it a cool official name. Describe the safety measures that the personnel have to use during the ritual and what equipment they must have.

All those of the victims that sustained to the ill-effects of the Aberrations

—For safety measures, —all tests in the wing? the entire site? will be shut down once ambient Groves reach a count of 60 Vi. Testing may resume once ambient Groves reaches (idk, 10?).

There is no known pattern or general list of what they may be,

you give a general common list directly after saying this

how is a dimension semi-physical? once you are in the dimension is everything permeable?

This method, alongside RPC-009, have proven to be extremely dangerous to personnel for the following reasons:

this should be in the safety and handling usage and most of it already is. It gets too repetitive with you telling us that accessing it is dangerous in the abstract, handling and description.

But these actions can also simply be the thought of them, or have been actions that once took place,

Should all steps be followed correctly, the ritual will activate, and the consciousness of the sleeping participants

what sleeping participants? mention them in the ritual steps

Within RPC-009, personnel may attempt to find and retrieve a certain ##orange previously determined## -1 instance

this appears to be slowly moving towards the East.

Would there be directions in this place? ones that we can discern?

as Team #Y3 have all unanimously decided to take a small trip to New York.

feels out of place

S-2 was found in the floor staring

on

appear to have taken a texture similar to that of the test subject.

describe it again here, maybe in a different way. Stone can be rough, smooth, many different textures.

The effect of such surreal visual anomaly is also believed to have caused tremendous spikes in Groves Radiation,

if it was a colour that we can't see but still existed Idk if it would cause the radiation. If it was one that did not exist naturally however I think it would.

- Is the article too long or does it draw on in some parts? What could I cut out or trim?
It's a good length currently.

- How well do you think the core concept of the article was executed through the collapsibles?
Good, better in the interview than elsewhere, and the expeditions better than in the previous candidates.

- Does the ending provide good closure? Do you feel like something is missing?
It's good

- Did anything feel rushed?
Tighten up the safety and handling like I suggested

- Did the inclusion of David feel forced?
It's fine

- Does the article feel consistent with itself?
Yes.

- Do you see the idea of the Sea being used in any other articles or contributions to the site?
Yes.
What about Groves Radiation?
I think it needs it's own page where you develop in more depth what kind of things it can cause, right now it feels slightly underdeveloped in it's possible applications to me. I can def see it being used in the future though.

- And finally: Was the article boring? Did it feel like a big piece of exposition?
It's good, I think I would enjoy the previous candidates logs more if there was a bit more low acs wacky description like in the interview. Again it feels really weird that they have directions like east and west in a plane like this.

Re: The Ideal & The Sea of Forms

SovereignAuthority 29 Jun 2021 04:22

The idea of Inception but combined with Plato's Theory of the Forms is a really cool idea. I quite enjoyed the parts of the article that focus on the actual journey into the Sea of Forms, and what the staff do there. There were some parts that I wasn't as big a fan though.

My main complaint is the ending. The article is really building up them trying to figure out how to use the Forms for Necromancy, but then it just ends talking about a freak accident that has no connection to what occurred before. I thought what would happen is that they actually find the "form" of Necromancy somehow, then when they try to use it, it ends up killing them in the process. I didn't buy the dangerous color phenomenon personally.

There's some strangeness about what is and isn't possible when they go into this Form dimension. The article mentions people have woken in rocks and clouds, stuff like that, but that's really scattershot then for finding anything even remotely useful for their research., since there's probably an infinite numbers of forms. My suggestion would be to have the ritual include an element of desire, maybe like a thoughtform the researchers have to think of in order to get a good chance at finding the form of what they're looking for.

[+] Questions

Now to your questions:

1. The article isn't that long, but if you did want to cut down on things, I'd honestly suggest uploading the Groves Counter information as a supplemental and expanding on it, like for the ACS page. I also think the Professor sections was a bit unnecessary, but maybe other readers not as educated in philosophy need that more than me.
2. I think it's done well. I actually would have wanted to see more explorations, it's a really cool world to explore.
3. Addressed already.
4. I don't think anything was rushed
5. I haven't read the David Personnel File yet (it's really long) so the footnote about him was needed for me. In general, I'm not usually a fan of anomalous members of the Authority, it can come off as OP for just the sake of it, but it did not bother me here
6. Yes
7. I can see the Sea of Forms being used, and the Groves Radiation, by some authors. Although if you wanted Groves Radiation specifically to be more impactful to the lore, I'd suggest doing what I mentioned before about a supplemental/ACS-style page.

[+] Critique

exists

"exist"

SWIMMERS; requirements

Change colon to period. Capitalize "Requirements"

Further context will be provided as needed during training

Missing period.

Project SWIMMERS

I really do not like this name lol

have proven

"has proven"

hellenic

"Hellenic"

Each personnel in the outer circles is to face at all times.

Face each other?

A brief summary of the process is as follows:

It might be interesting to have a simple diagram of the ritual circle.

participants be

"participants will be"

physical recording is impossible

What about the ideal of recording? loljk

your local Office of Information Records and Security.

Incomplete sentence.

Named
Supervising

Lowercase

themselves

They see the form of themselves?

they decide to rent some rooms using S-7’s credit card

Why did he bring his credit card with him? And how is this possible?

After their stay expires

How long were they in there?

they begin heading once again

Well why did they stop randomly in one of the rooms in the first place?

must be their objective

I don't quite see how the gear fits into the idea of necromancy, presumably with organic beings.

how this was accomplished despite the lack of wallets is unknown

Well they had no problem pulling out a credit card earlier, so I don't see why a wallet would be much of a problem.

Team #C1 personnel

I mean, my instinct would be to have some poor CSD sap eat it first in case things go wrong.

Research into the unique and almost ideal properties of the food item is ongoing.

Rephrase this sentence.

planning

"planned"

Re: The Ideal & The Sea of Forms

Clench 30 Jun 2021 06:55

Fundamentally I like the idea, it's a concept that I sincerely enjoy. However, it's a concept that has been thoroughly explored before. A sea of dreams and thoughts, concepts given form. Astral sea from DnD, and the Warp from 40k.

So while I sincerely like the idea, it's played out before and needs 'something' to make it special.

The article is also somewhat lacking in clinical tone. Otherwise, I like it, in the same way I like something that I already like.

Re: The Ideal & The Sea of Forms

Von Pincier 30 Jun 2021 15:18

Don't have time for a line-by-line, but some thoughts as requested:

• I would dig more into a definition of what is meant by a "human concept" in the abstract.
• Be more specific in the physical requirements; there are legal and standard definitions for what a healthy human is, right? Ditto stuff like swimming certficiations- there's a difference between, say, someone who complete swimming lessons as a kid and someone who's a trained moving-water rescue technician.
• "Magus Elderblood Kain"? Really? A little much, that name.
• Why do you capitalize Aberration at the start of the article but only define it much later? I'd include at least a "see X section below" to explain that this is a proper noun kind of thing.
• I still really, really, really don't like that the unit for Groves is the Vi, and not, say, the Gv. It's like saying the unit of measurement for the Watt is the Blumpus.
• If specific types of incense are necessary for safety, specify the types of incense!
• I would swap the mentioned publishers to the Authority Press, for consistency.
• "Fraxinus" is Latin, and should be italicized.
• I like that the team immediately starts with an AECT. That seems like a logical and realistic thing to do in a new reality.
• Why do they need to buy a room in the hotel with credit cards? Is this supposed to be weird dream logic?
• Overall, some very minor typos- it's/its confusion, some missing periods, give it a readthrough.

I think that while "exploring the realm of the platonic ideal" isn't, as mentioned, a wholly original concept, you do a good job of unpacking it and taking it to its logical conclusions in a way that makes a lot of sense and is very engaging. Well done.