Nine Thousand Lives & The Witchcraft of the Angra Mainyu, Who Is All Death / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Nine Thousand Lives & The Witchcraft of the Angra Mainyu, Who Is All Death.

SWAG INFINITUM

Almarduk 21 Jun 2021 20:48

http://rpcauthority.wikidot.com/forum/t-14128097/009-entry-the-infinite-cat-ritual-the-witchcraft-of-the-angr

Many thanks to KingWillPower, TTPY, Tarbolin, ieatcrepes, Worm that Walks, Blairin and extasis for their reads and critique.

Originally intended to be merely an entry for the Magic side of the Magic & Mythology contest. Un/fortunately, it appears to have swayed a little to the other side.

The texts cited throughout the article are sourced from here:

Yasnas
http://avesta.org/yasna/yasna.htm#y28

Ahuna Vairya
http://www.zarathushtra.com/z/article/ahunavar.htm

Unfortunately, the latter is ambiguous in meaning and difficult to adequately translate, so I took some stylistic liberties in my adaptation of choice.

As should be evident to the reader, this article deeply relies on the Zoroastrian faith, which I grossly oversimplified and avoided explaining to avoid bloat, which I fear already troubles the article. I did a frankly ungodly amount of reading and research to get the basics of Zoroastrianism right, but I still fear misconstruing or warping it to an insulting degree.

To clear my conscience from the fear of blasphemy, I'll explain the underlying spiritual aspects that support the events of the article.

++ RPC-009-0

I know nothing of actual black magic based on Zoroastrianism, nor would I trust the sources I have available to convey it properly. So instead I attempted to invert the basic principles of the faith as best as I could.

Zoroastrianism has a very strong focus on impeding corpses (or rather, the daemons that inhabit them after death) from corrupting the sacred elements around them, so naturally the only suitable place for black Zoroastrian magic would be a literal pile of bones. In turn, water, earth and fire should be at the center, but neglected or further defiled — this is apparent from the inversion of the usual reverent attitude of Zoroastrianism for water and fire, which are thrown on top of each other and kicked with malice.

The ripping of Ephedra over the fire is an inversion of the Thanksgiving ceremony, in which two magi exchange branches of medicinal plants, symbolizing the reaffirmation of the connection between the material and spiritual worlds. Thus, the rejection and destruction of these branches must instead mean a rejection of this connection, perhaps in preparation for the sin to be committed next: the burning of corpses. This is the greatest sin known to the faith, for which there is no atonement, as the fire is irreversibly defiled by the presence of the daemons that inhabit corpses.

Other aspects are more embarrassingly simple. Magi wear white, so these cultists must wear black. Zoroastrian rituals are still and full of chanting, so the inverse is a violent dance that takes place in silence.

++ Sacred Texts & Containment Log

In the final appendix, the Yasna is brought up. I glossed over its immense significance to Zoroastrianism in order to conserve pacing and prevent bloating the footnotes, but it still deserves further explanation.

The yasna is not only a collection of liturgical texts (which also belong to the Avesta, further divided into the Visperad, Yashts, Siroza, Nyayeshes, Gahs and Afrinagans), it is also the main act of worship of Zoroastrianism, just as one would talk about mass in catholicism. Its main purpose is to strengthen the asha: this is, that which is right, that which is created by the Ahura Mazda, and that which abides by the divine order. It is divided in 72 chapters, recited over the course of 2 hours, which are accompanied by individual ceremonies and rites (like the Ab-Zohr that is name-dropped in the article, which is the strengthening of the sacred waters and closes the Yasna).

The individual yasna verses I chose are incantations to invite the Ahura Mazda and the seven Amesha Spenta (or Bountiful Immortals) that emanate from it (which are curiously reminiscent of the seven Archons of gnosticism). This is reflected by the items each of the magi is carrying: respectively, these represent the realms of Amərətāt, Haurvatāt, Spəṇta Armaiti, Xšaθra Vairya, Aša Vahišta and Vohu Manah. The object of my bastardized ceremony (a horrendous mixture of the Sagdid and Yasna) is to summon an avatar of the final Amesha Spenta, the Spəṇta Mainyu that guards over human beings and reigns over all else.

This is done through the incantation of the Ahuna Vairya, the most sacred of all Zoroastrian prayers, which was uttered at the beginning of time by the Ahura Mazda (god-like figure) and is said to have made the Angra Mainyu (satan-like figure) flinch. The power of the Ahuna Vairya is unrivaled: it is both a potent weapon against the evil Daeva of the Angra Mainyu and a talisman to aid men in distress.

However, the magi see themselves dumbfounded by what they correctly recognize to be a direct intervention of the Moon, clearing the skies from clouds and black smoke. The moon is an important figure of the Zoroastrian cosmogony: it plays a role in saving the Gavaevodata (uniquely-created cow), one of the primordial creations of the Ahura Mazda, from death at the hands of Jahi, the consort of the Angra Mainyu, who exhorts her to do the deed.

Indeed, the bovine that destroys the feline abomination is none other than the Gavaevodata, whose identity made evident by the plants that grow from its marrow: in the original legend, numerous grains and medicinal plants are created by the death of the Gavaevodata, who laments from the Moon the attack of the Angra Mainyu upon the material world.

Other symbolism is, again, more apparent. The many creatures spawned from 009-A's miasma are other xrafstar from the Angra Mainyu, emboldened by the stench of death it radiates to kill more. The alternate world/illusion seen through the smoke is none other than the homeland of the Angra Mainyu, who lives "in a dark place." The cats flee to the North because the daemons that are dispelled through the Sagdid are said to flee there.

Still not decided on the title. Maybe "Nine (Thousand) Lives" is better?

TheGreatTarbolin69 22 Jun 2021 15:11

snoopa

Von Pincier 01 Jul 2021 13:47

What a trip. That was a great story, kept me engaged from start to finish. Only commentary is some missing italics in the final addendum.

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(account deleted) 02 Jul 2021 23:11

Wow, had me hooked the entire time. I love it! I can't wait to see where the concepts introduced here go.

No-vote

Carcassonne 05 Jul 2021 16:15

Liked it for the first skim-read.

Upon second read, I gradually lost the plot behind explaining away reality altering radiation in the zany, Zoroastrian containment breach.

Article hit its peak at the explanation of the perpetual motion machine then rapidly petered off at the battle segments later on, where it sort of felt like a Harry Potter battle with more guns and animals. The article didn't do it for me.

Re: No-vote

0ktober 07 Jul 2021 02:40

I feel the opposite. The perpetual motion machine section was the slowest part for me (but still fine, I wouldn't want it cut down). The ending was the most engaging part of the article.

0ktober 07 Jul 2021 02:37

This is a really cool article that starts off good and then gets better as it goes. The pacing is probably very good but it's hard for me to judge since I was critting the whole time and that made it a lot slower for me. That said, I was still super engaged while reading the article, especially the 009-0 texts and the action scenes later on.

+ show block

In the event an activation of RPC-009 is required for emergency purposes

I think this would read better if it was "In the event that an activation"

04/06/2021 — PRESENT

I think this should be an en dash. Like this: "04/06/2021–PRESENT". It's a special dash that's shorter than an em dash and it's used for stuff like date periods.

I think that the first paragraph of the description could be improved. As it stands, the first sentence gives me the impression that the cat is not identical, which kind of throws me through a loop with the second sentence. I think the issue here is that you go out of your way to describe the cat that is created as being an arbitrary different cat to the sacrificed one with the only requirement being that it is the same species. I think this could be fixed if you changed "manifestation" to "duplication" and changed "sacrifice and consumption of another instance of the same species or the remains thereof" to something like "sacrifice and consumption of said cat or, if diseased, the remains thereof."

Numerations are used to differentiate unique variants of RPC-009

Initially I misunderstood this and thought it meant that numerations were for individual cats created through the ritual. This is a fault on the reader since RPC-009 is clearly described as the ritual itself, but I think some redundancy wouldn't hurt. Something like "Numerations are used to differentiate unique variants of the ritual."

occultic interests

"Occult" already serves as a noun, adjective or verb depending on context, so "occultic" doesn't make much sense. It might technically be a real word but it's really obscure and doesn't roll off the tongue well.

Domestic GoI based on the outskirts of Tobruk, Libya.

I think this should say "based in" not "based on".

ages 16 - 24

Use another en dash here. 16–24

Place: Burial place

Seems a bit weird to use "place" twice. Maybe change one of them to "location"?

I opened this collapsible without reading the actual collapsible text and I assumed these were researcher notes. Maybe add a bit of actual context text within the collapsible above the notes? "The following are bla bla bla obtained bla bla bla"

and I recognized Hormuzd quickly retrieving the black cat - perfectly healthy and apathetic - from the cave, evidently against its desires.

In the second note the writer used em dashes but here he uses hyphens! Inconsistent!

whose snout was half as long as my forearm. Indeed, the stare of the white dog appeared to cleanse the walls by itself, even while being an inferior choice.

To be honest this kinda took me out of the piece. I was actually engaged with the story and then you threw an obvious Discord in-joke at me. This is especially bothering to me because the rest of the article is so fucking engauging and then this bit kinda killed it for that section.

European origin (i.e. Asian Semi-longhair, Chartreux, European Shorthair, Oriental Bicolor)

Why do you say "European" but then also list breeds that are Asian?

RPC-009-66 results from attempting any variation of RPC-009 that uses any other animal that is not a housecat.

This is worded a little weirdly because of the repeat of "any". Maybe say "from performing any variation of RPC-009 on an animal other than a housecat."

A few examples have been attached below.

This is a little weird. "Attached below" makes it sound like they are attached in a document but they aren't; they're just listed. I would change "have been attached" to "are listed".

9. For the purposes of RPC-009-98, desecration of an item with high emotional value is required

This footnote should end in a period.

hermetically-sealed reinforced glass container

Hyphen shouldn't be here, and I think there should be a comma after "sealed".

rapid-dissipation neurotoxin (TA-X-867, MST Echo-8)

Why is an MST listed here? Dafuq. There's no context to that.

rapidly dispose of generated housecat and trigger RPC-009-98 again

Should this be "housecats"?

formally-dressed

Hyphen shouldn't be here.

the execution of certain kinds of rituals — primarily theogonic… I mean, faith-based ones —, which makes it a unique form of thaumic, or magic, energy.

The comma after the dash is unnecessary. I'm pretty sure that's very grammatically wrong.

It is however, unique in certain regards.

Not sure if the comma is right. I think there should be a second comma after "is".

The thermometer that communicates temperature is quickly rising above 80°C

vee-I

"I" is not very clarifying. I would change this to "vee-eye".

Heaters using both are very convenient — given you can stand the smell, haha —, and simple steam engines can also be constructed

Same thing with the comma as before.

Functionally, it's a perpetual-motion machine

It's weird to me that no one explicitly asks why a lot of the machine isn't visible or what is happening inside the machine. Sure the feline mass thing was weird but the perpetual motion machine quote should be a lot more eye-raising I think. Dozens and dozens of times, people have claimed to create "perpetual motion machines", and they are always obfuscated in some way, and the creators always refuse to reveal what's inside because obviously it would reveal that it isn't actually a perpetual motion machine. The researchers should know this and immediately be suspicious upon hearing Voss say "perpetual motion machine". So I think you should add a new question at the start asking about this, with Voss giving a vague answer that only barely satisfies the question. I think this would also help to build tension in the scene.

12. Installed beforehand as part of safety protocols regarding the "Thaumic Energy & Perpetual Generation" exhibition in the same sector.

This footnote shouldn't end in a period. It's not a full sentence.

Two members of MST Uniform-7 ("Crowley's Follies") approach the location with a minimized Almagro-Variant Groves Counter, while

Is this sentence incomplete?

before a deep, cavernous meow interrupts them.

I think "echoing" would do a better job conveying the sound than "cavernous" which doesn't provide a very clear picture.

All four personnel open fire, prompting them to close.

To close? What does that mean? Close what?

presumably-feral

Remove the hyphen.

five dogs, four rottweilers and one borzoi, and a single European otter (Lutra lutra).

The wording of this is a little confusing. Suggested rewrite:

four Rottweiler dogs, one Borzoi dog, and one European otter (Lutra lutra).

17. In Zoroastrianism, otters are interpreted to be the reincarnation of one thousand dogs

Missing period in this footnote.

And I desire to approach the monthly festivals, the lords of the ritual order, and the new moon and the waning moon, and the full moon which scatters night

Missing period.

The group is assaulted by black snakes, which quickly retreat once in the immediate surroundings of the sacred animals.

This sentence is confusing. Is the group retreating or are the snakes retreating? Should be more immediately clear.

I think the article should end with an expenses report of all the damages caused, like some other articles have for these kinds of events. It could help add closure to the event and add a bit more breathing room to the current ending that is pretty abrupt.

Last edited on 07 Jul 2021 02:37 by 0ktober Show more

+

JasonMakesManhattens 07 Jul 2021 04:14

You had me at the title and never lost me. Well done.

---

Such is life in the Soviet Union

Croal 07 Jul 2021 18:13

I really enjoyed the action logs and I'm a sucker for the black cat theme. You did it really well. I also liked that you used the research fair to further the article. Nice job.
I do find that the bull at the end felt out of place. I see now that it was hinted at earlier but I think that more buildup and hints at it's significance throughout the article could really help the ending feel not so jarring.