http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/pcaao-hub-neo1
WIP, near completion. Looking for feedback and SPaG checks. I hope this clarifies and expand on the lore regarding the Committee.
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/pcaao-hub-neo1
WIP, near completion. Looking for feedback and SPaG checks. I hope this clarifies and expand on the lore regarding the Committee.
Since their collapse, the PCAAO has replaced the Iron Initiative as a major anomalous power of the Asian continent.
Suggest footnote for Iron Initiative just in case
» Assessment of the People's Republic of China «
that's a nice div huh
Actually, now that I look at it — it might be possible to have the title and subtitle inside a green stripe. Could look nice.
as the juristic of internal politics
juristic -> jury?
The "异常事务部" or "Ministry of Anomalous Affairs", under the leadership of the elusive "Minister", incorporated the then-GoI PCAAO as their sole department, bringing PCAAO into the State Council under the nick-named "+1" Section.
This sentence sounds like it has a big middle segment missing, I can't really follow it.
Suggestion: +1 -> plus-one
████████ research
Not sure what this is supposed to be blackboxing.
Letheium export
1) It's Lethium
2) I don't think Lethium would be exported at all. The single place in the world it can be harvested from, the Authority controls. It might be a good idea to say that PCAAO has unconventional / non-anomalous amnestics, or that they somehow acquire a minor supply of Lethium amnestics from somewhere — whether Authority storage or an unknown source.
both anomalous faunas and floras
Fairly sure it's fauna and flora.
see a large number of Thaumaturgy practices
thaumaturgic
Ever since the implementation of the Thaumaturgist Security Act of 1971, Thaumaturgic practices have been banned from the public unless under the oversight of proper authority, this grants the PCAAO greater access to the Thaumaturgist population, which became a vital element in the implementation of [DATA EXPUNGED].
Does "banned from the public" imply that thaumaturgy is not a veiled science? You might want to revise this.
"[…] proper authority, granting the PCAAO greater access to the Thaumaturgist population [How?] and serving as a vital element in the implementation of [DATA EXPUNGED]"
When it comes to their military might, the Committee wields the Mobile Formation
Suggest replacing "mobile" with something else to remove similarity with MSTs.
a single 5000-men mobilized division that is deployed to where ever needed,
This sentence implies that the entire division is deployed when detachments would make more sense.
China's influence, combined with the lack of pre-established infrastructures in the Far East has hampered the Authority's ability to counter the Committee's power projection early on, at times, the Authority would even see the loss of all influence within China at the later stages of the Cold War.
"China's modern influence, combined with a lack of pre-established infrastructure in the Far East has hampered the Authority's ability to restrict the Commitee's power across Asia, with the situation deteriorating into a complete loss of assets within China during the late stages of the Cold War."
PCAAO is severely lacking in power projection beyond its nearby state, though attempts were made to rectify this such as the case of the Special Operation Force "Sand Serpent", despite this, PCAAO forces present in the continent is significantly dwarfed by the overwhelming presence of the Authority's personnel and infrastructures.
"Power projection" reads kinda clunky IMO. IDK if it's a formal term.
"PCAAO is severely lacking in influence beyond China and satellite states, with significant assets being dedicated to its eastward expansion — exemplified by Special Operation Force "Sand Serpent". Despite this, PCAAO forces outside the sphere of influence of the CCP see themselves dwarfed by Authority personnel and infrastructure."
A suggestion: imply or outright state that the Authority diverted a lot of resources into Asia after they lost control of China. This would better explain why they have such a good hold over the entire continent except specifically China.
Malthus groups further draw personnel from anti-governmental persons.
Not sure what this means.
Often Malthus personnel employs hit-and-run guerrilla tactics, retreating westward back into the vast deserts following attacks on urban areas.
"Often Malthus cells resort to hit-and-run guerrilla tactics"
Retreating to a wide open area with no cover seems like a really bad idea when you could just hide among the absurdly dense Chinese cities. If inside a city, they'd force PCAAO to resort to local police force and exhaustive investigation to detect them, then surgical attack operations. If in the desert, they could just be bombed out of the face of the planet.
"Deacon Office" -> "Decagon Office"
Officially, the Committee classified these groups as "heretical teaching"
"Heretical" implies that the committee holds a religion in conflict with Nihil — isn't the CCP officially anti-theistic or atheistic?
The two would continue to clash occasionally over the Cold War with the Authority often having to side against neither one of them.
"with the Authority rarely taking a non-neutral stance."
pre-modern anomalies from the "Demon Hunters"
What exactly are these?
Boxer Rebellion, 1900
Not a huge fan of IRL-event-but-anomalous — suggest emphasizing that the anomalous elements at hand weren't major players.
Founded shortly after Communist victory over Nationalist China and the proclamation of the People's Republic of China.
What exactly is founded?
Details remained unclear other than the subsequent dissolution of the Special Directorate, inadvertently changing PCAAO's objectives fundamentally.
… They were always called PCAAO? Doesn't that fundamentally not make sense with the historical context of their foundation?
The end result of the power struggle between the Authority and the Chinese government.
This struggle isn't really established in full. It's indirectly referred to and implied to exist, but more detail is necessary IMO.
The Board would ultimately intervene against the Asia Command and make the decision to withdraw all resources and personnel from China and allocate them to other priorities.
I was under the impression that the Authority's influence dissolved as the PCAAO gained power, and not that they just were retrieved.
The logistics of lifting the entire Chinese branch and moving it elsewhere makes no sense to me: were there absolutely no unmovable anomalies? No on-location research projects? What about native-chinese Authority personnel — where they just moved out of their home as well? Why did the Board decide in favour of giving up an entire region after one engagement?
//Memorandum on Anomalous Management and Application Collaboration/
Broken code
As always, you demonstrate an absolutely incredible skill in tying the stupid amounts of lore from all over the site into a coherent, if insane and nonsensical, whole. This is reinforced by the staggering amount of crosslinks — which are all soundly placed.
While this makes for an excellent read and provides a complete perspective on the GoI, it is missing an introduction to its inner workings and ethos. Such an introduction is foreshadowed by the GD-ASIA quote, but is not really followed through — this is accentuated by the lack of a full history of the growth of PCAAO, which is replaced by patches of incomplete context around important events. This results in the evolution of the organization and its personality feeling nebulous and ill-defined, which is intimidating ground to tread when writing.
My suggestion is to write a single long-post describing the growth of PCAAO in summary, giving a third-person perspective on its cogs and bolts and how they mesh together, followed by the Notable Events timeline. I also suggest you significantly expand the description of each event to better detail the historical context at hand.
Another suggestion: while the GoI relations section has fun parts and does some cool worldbuilding, it might be unnecessarily long and it is placed earlier than the PCAAO's history — I suggest relegating it to the latter resources tabs, as it is not essential for understanding how PCAAO works.
made such grandiose proclamation
proclamations
we sure did grew and well
grow
with the remaining majority been registered
being registered
under United Nations
under the United Nations
anit-foreigner
anti-foreigner
The 60s and 70s begin Committee initiatives
began
natrual causes
natural causes
still refrained
still
from going war with one another
going to war
militaristic elements grew increasingly louder
I believe sentiment would be more fitting here
Since then Committee
then, the Committee
Malthus practitioners remain one of the surviving groups
remain as one of the
Committee resource
Committee resources
around 1980s
around the 1980s
and impose a strict
imposed
Further more, Authority study
Furthremore
Chinese entry into UN
into the UN
the UNAAC has both been
had
largest contributors to UN’s
to the UN's
Chinese personnel continues to interact
continue
whom in turn continues to subvert
who in turn
challenges them over the control of Southeast Asia
challenge
Amazing fuarking hub. Beautifully put together and gives a bit of history and character to PCAAO aside from "The Authority but Chinese". Good loreberries being planted here and hopefully this inspires some great articles in the future involving PCAAO.