Flower
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I regret not having a sixth star to give this excellent work
Such is life in the Soviet Union
Very cute and short article. Sad there wasn't anything on the conprots, but still a good piece.
Nice pretty article, it's short and sweet. But for being so short it's still quite scattered.
Suggestions:
The containment info should not be in a footnote. We should also know how common these manifestations are to back up the statement that they don't need to be contained or prevented in any way.
On any environment > in any
The two sentences describing the types of flowers they see should be together, not separated.
The sentence describing that they don't manifest when observed should be with the other paragraph saying that they manifest and don't grow.
(account deleted)I think that shorter articles can be very good, and brevity definitely is a strength of this RPC, but as of now I think it should be expanded at least a bit, because the lack of content can be seen as a weakness rather than a strength of some. Either or, +4, I really did enjoy this one.
It's a lesser anomalous object that while it is sad, it doesn't actually have any depth to it. It feels like is uses the "aesthetics" of dead kids people who die (relatively) alone for empathy, and nothing else. It can be expanded much, much more - 1.
Also thanks viz for the catch, I must have somehow misinterpreted that the graves were of children only.
I didn't interpret anything about dead kids. I thought "child" was meant as a religious thing and the note signified being a good child of God, or something.
Although, kids who died before having the chance to have an intimate relationship with anyone, and weren't close with their family, would probably apply. But there's no distinction made between kids and adults in the article so I don't think that's meant to be an aspect, since it's always the same text appearing no matter what your age is.
I don't get the point of this article. 3 stars
Why is this period here?Hazard Types: None.
ANGER
individuals who died alone
This is very non-clinical. It's super vague and literally translates to people who died when nobody was physically nearby, which does not seem to be intended. It needs to specify relationships and give some kind of time-frame. "individuals who died without an intimate relationship in at least several years" could work.
the language that the buried person was most fluent in
I don't like use of "fluent in". Feels a bit awkward. Would read better as "the language of which the buried person was most fluent"
Simple, succinct, and to the point. Manages to make a solid article in a handful of paragraphs. Couldn't ask for more, besides more substance, which would make this an easy 5.
On second thought, no. Adding more goes against the flow of the article, and the argument that 456 lacks a point, or that you can't see the point, falls flat on the fact that an article doesn't need a "point". The coherency stapler that makes a McDonald's monster has no real message or theme, but it's still a fun read. This article has a theme, carries it efficiently, and is a fun read. Adding more would slow it down.
/forum/t-14025366/rpc-456#post-