Budget Cuts containment team entry: Cornelius the Strong
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/cornelius
Any kind of crit is appreciated.
Budget Cuts containment team entry: Cornelius the Strong
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» Budget Cuts containment team entry: Cornelius the Strong
Summary:
Looking for crit on a very short RPC-J article
Re: Budget Cuts containment team entry: Cornelius the Strong
Item Type: Entity
Are you using the correct symbol thou? I remember Qual made several instead of just the one with the gear
RPC-110-J is an African
African-American or any part of Africa in specific? He could be from Chad
with an immense physical strength estimated at 3750 horsepower.
Wierd choice of words, muscle strenght, however, is messured like so:
Muscle strength can be measured by estimating a person's one repetition maximum (1RM) - a measurement of the greatest load (in kg) that can be fully moved (lifted, pushed, or pulled) once without failure or injury.
(According to Science Learning Hub)
I work out every day and my muscles are bigger than anyone else at this site
May feel weird to say "the site" 2 times in this segment. You could chaneg "anyone else at the site" to maybe a joke towards people from Protection, the supposed strongmen of the Authority.
A professional hypnotist
From where? The Keballic Department?
RPC-110-J became extremely pissed
I would say "extremely infuriated"
Final Review:
Very kino, very funny joke
Now lets hope he never hears of the Sigma Class
Unfold
Re: Budget Cuts containment team entry: Cornelius the Strong by 
TheGreatTarbolin69, 12 Feb 2021 20:50
Crit 4 Crit deal made via Discord
Alright, I gotta say that this was a pretty good read in my book. I enjoyed reading this and I feel as if this would exist on the main site soon. I'm sure we all know someone like 110-J in our lives. I give this a 5/5
The notes towards the beginning from different site workers were pretty funny imo. I dont usually read articles from the Research, Protection, or Containment divisions, and I was a bit confused as to how the containment division format worked at first, the way this one was formatted seemed better imo.
The idea of this guy destroying containment systems just to show off how strong he is, is ironically funny to me since this is a containment division article. Part of me feels that 110-J would have that Arnold Schwarzenegger impression when he talks and that makes it funnier.
Harold K Caztovski
Yeah, Harold, just saying "I like it" or "I don't like it" does not, by site rules, constitute crit. Detail, man, detail.
Unfold
Re: Budget Cuts containment team entry: Cornelius the Strong by 
Von Pincier, 13 Feb 2021 21:50
crit 4 crit cuz I said so..
RPC-110-J is a West African male of height 220 cm (7.2 ft) and weight 165 kg (363.8 lb) with
RPC-110-J is a West African male with a height of 220 cm (7.2 ft) and weighing 165 kg (363.8 lbs), …
physical strength estimated at 3750 horsepower
if I am correct horsepower measures speed and whatnot so I would change this to newtons (SI)
Unless this the speed he can travel or whatever.
It is demoralizing.
I would change to "It's demoralizing!"
"He's a menace to the site. I can't walk by his containment chamber without him flexing his arms at me and pinching his hand in a way that's clearly insulting to the size of my muscles. My muscles are huge! I work out every day and my muscles are bigger than anyone else in the facility. But apparently that's too small for 110-J. Fuck this guy."
I couldn't stop laughing at this. This was funny!!
RPC-110-J cannot break through
forgot a period
Notes: It is apparent that no physical material is capable of containing RPC-110-J.
how does one test show he can't be stopped?
I found this pretty funny. 3/5 some things needed to be rewrote but I loved this article. Good luck!
Where there is a choice of two evils, I choose both.
/forum/t-14002543/budget-cuts-containment-team-entry:cornelius-the-strong#post-