The Dread Turtle, or alternatively The Dread Frog
A draft collab from Tarb, Alma, and I.
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/the-dread-turtle
This draft is so old it still uses the TTPY format. I procrastinate.
The Dread Turtle, or alternatively The Dread Frog
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» The Dread Turtle, or alternatively The Dread Frog
RPC-151 is currently contained within an specialized structure, hereby referred as OL-Building-151, built and suspended over a 90m deep hole on Site-031’s outskirts by the Engineering Component in collaboration with the Protocol Laboratory:
I have some ideas on how to make this a little more concise:
OL-Building-151 has been built around the anomaly, with this OL site itself suspended over a 90m deep hole on Site-031’s outskirts by the Engineering Component in collaboration with the Protocol Laboratory:
OL-Building-031 is a 50m2 building complex constructed as a shifting labyrinth2, composed primarily of titanium alloy and plastic compounds.
some wording changes and some fixes:
OL-Building-151 is a building complex measuring 50 square meters, constructed as a shifting labyrinth2, composed primarily of titanium alloy and plastic compounds.
OL-Building-151 is meant to constantly provoke RPC-151's primary property in a repetitive and controlled manner as to overload its physical capabilities. This includes but is not limited to; employing long gaps with deep holes, 90º upward or downward turns, and automated traps triggered by proximity, including flamethrowers, explosives, and spikes.
needs a little rework to better explain what it is trying to do:
OL-Building-151's primary function is the arresting of RPC-151's primary anomalous trait in a repetitive and controlled manner such that it will reach exhaustion, and will no longer perform this trait. OL-Building-151 is able to achieve this by manner of; employing long gaps with deep holes, 90º upward or downward turns, and automated traps triggered by proximity, including flamethrowers, explosives, and spikes.
Should RPC-151 breach containment, all latches holding OL-Building-151 by its series of 19 chains are to be let loose, dropping the containment chamber into the hole. MST Yankee-01 ("Kaiju Buster")4 is then to be immediately alerted to recontain the anomaly before it escapes.
some more wording changes to better explain what exactly is going on:
In the event of a containment breach, all supports which suspend OL-Building-151 are to be released, allowing the containment chamber to fall into the hole. MST Yankee-01 ("Kaiju Buster") will then to be immediately alerted to re-contain the anomaly.
New methods of containment for RPC-151 are currently underway research by Prolab, as are methods to decrease the cost of upkeep of OL-Building-151. Any suggestions as to how to improve current containment protocols are to be directed to the Containment Division’s Area Supervisor Fred Fauster.
some clunky sentences that could be fixed:
New methods of containment for RPC-151 are currently being researched by Prolab, as are methods to decrease the cost and upkeep of OL-Building-151. Any and all recommendations for improvement of current containment protocols are to be directed to the Containment Division’s Area Supervisor Fred Fauster.
Should RPC-151 escape its containment and go missing, MST Yankee-01 ("Kaiju Buster") are to track and recover the anomaly under any means necessary, with an area spanning Alabama, Louisiana, and the Northwest regions of Florida. Further incidents resulting from the containment breach may merit a distress call to the closest Protectorate’s Termination Team.
once again just needs some more wording changes to better explain what is going on:
Should RPC-151 further escape both OL-Building-151 and the hole, MST Yankee-01 ("Kaiju Buster") are to track and recover the anomaly under any means necessary. If the anomaly is not present within the area spanning Alabama, Louisiana, and the Northwest regions of Florida, a distress call is to be sent to the closest Protectorate’s Termination Team.
Any attempts of lethal force are strictly prohibited against RPC-151 for the unpredictability of its anomalous properties, as are any other types of retaliation by excessive amounts of force (eg. rocket launchers, missiles, strategic bombardments). All offensive responses to RPC-151 are solely for the purpose of recontainment.
one last time some better articulation of what should be conveyed:
During the process of re-containment, the use of lethal force is strictly prohibited against RPC-151, so as to not activate any of its anomalous properties, or to unnecessarily harm the anomaly. All offensive responses to RPC-151 are solely for the purpose of re-containment.
Ok thats just the containment procedures for now, Ill try to come back to this to look at the description as well, hope you like it.
Object Class: Omega-Red
The anomaly in question is shown to be able to be physically contained, regardless how flimsy the containment is, which goes against the implication of “containment focused on preventing the spread of knowledge about an entity, in such cases where physical containment is simply not possible.”
its walls and corridors have been designed in such as away asa to allow free movement and rearrangement of its pieces
in such a way
Should RPC-151 breach containment, all latches holding OL-Building-151 by its series of 19 chains are to be let loose, dropping the containment chamber into the hole.
This aspect of the containment was not established, as such no will know what “the hole” is.
with the intent to cause as less chaos and unwanted mutation during the recontainment process as is possible.
the least amount of
as possible
New methods of containment for RPC-151 are currently underway research by Prolab
under research
as are methods to decrease the cost of upkeep of OL-Building-151
the cost of upkeep of
upkeep by itself already implies the cost of maintenance
MST Yankee-01 ("Kaiju Buster") are to track and recover the anomaly under any means necessary
is
Any attempts of lethal force are strictly prohibited against RPC-151
attempt
is
the closest Protectorate’s Termination Team
Neutralization Team
but may in fact hinder RPC-151's ability to gain advantage in future hostile situations
advantages
or they are as a result of an unseen force altering the physiology of RPC-151
or as a result of
Since acquisition
its acquisition/containment
left-hand side
Right-hand side
Would just settle on “right side” and “left side”
According to on-board dash camera footage of the collision
“dashboard camera” or “dashcam”
save for the formation of fissures and fractures in aforementioned obsidian growths
Suggestion: “in the form of the aforementioned obsidian growths” or “manifesting as/into the aforementioned obsidian growths”
forcefully emerging out of dermis on the right side of RPC-151's head
the dermis
a detachment of MST Yankee-01 ("Kaiju Buster") was dispatched to recover RPC-151
This doesn’t make sense if Yankee-01 is supposed to be formed “for the purpose of tracking and recontaining RPC-151”. They hadn’t even know of RPC-151 yet so this wouldn’t have been possible regardless
At this point, it was uncertain whether the incident was a result of a physical anomaly or a cognitohazardous effect; the dashcam footage was too obtuse to identify whether ther caller's testimony was correct
At that point
the caller
Investigate anomalous event on Higway [REDACTED],
Highway
Experimental device occassionally deployed in the 1980s
occasionally
Mildly effective gainst certain types of cognitohazards.
against
it is apperent RPC-151 has breached the DGAS cage with great force
apparent
UO-556
Not sure if you should be creating a brand new category of anomalous objects just for this incident, which could have just been an Anomalous Events.
UO-556 entered geosychronous orbit
geosynchronous orbit
It is assumed that it quickly mutated to absorb or nullify radiactivity
The radioactivity
This is probably the best I’ve seen from oh-so-many drafts that features the “hard-to-destroy/super-mutation” that actually done well with the trope itself instead of using it to justify mere immortality of the anomaly.
Perhaps the Incident is not warranted since there’s not really any build up to it or just any implication of it being an alien. It actively engaging the spacecraft implies that it is aware of its existence (perhaps through anomalous means), which is also corroborated with the Sapient Hazard tag, but what did it do to launch itself out into orbit and then suddenly returns to OL-Building-151 is somewhat muddled.
The effectiveness of the containment plan is also questionable since it doesn’t drop its prior mutations, so in theory it should become immune to it really quick after containment.
Oh, and yeah, I really loved the inclusion of it at Sites-031 since it fits perfectly with the “animal containment theme but it is all the way down in the Amazon Forest, and since I have a bias for Site-031 I will stay quiet about it until it inevitably gets discovered :schizo:
/forum/t-13997971/the-dread-turtle-or-alternatively-the-dread-frog#post-