Superspambot's "Walking with Dinosaurs"
This is the dinosaur article. I know it took me fucking forever to get this out but I hope it was worth the wait.
Superspambot's "Walking with Dinosaurs"
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Summary:
Article about Dinosaurs
RPC-869 is the designation for a group of 4 species single members of different species all living within Central Africa.
Unsure if they can be considered to constitute species if only a single one of each has been observed. Perhaps something like "unique animal specimens with significant similarities to known extinct species that were extant between the Mesozoic and Oligocene periods" would be more accurate.
All instances of RPC-869 have significantly longer lifespans, as they presumably are millions of years old, and enhanced strength, speed, endurance, and intelligence than what would be expected of an average specimen.
"All instances of RPC-869 are have remained extant for what is assumed to be millions of years, and display enhanced physical strength, agility, resilience and intelligence than what would be expected of an average specimen of an equivalent species."
Each instance of RPC-869 will travel throughout a large area of the region it inhabits. This is theorized to be because of mating habits and the lack of any potential mating partners for the instances.
"All instances of RPC-869 continuously travel throughout large areas in regions they inhabited. This is theorized to be the result residual mating instincts."
Due to their extraordinarily long lifespans and their frequent movements through a large area, the ecosystem of Central Africa has adapted to each instance of RPC-869 as if they were a species living there. Each instance of 869 preys upon a certain species which begins to rapidly populate upon that instance’s absence.
Long life and movement isn't quite enough to bend an ecosystem - eating a metric fuckton of food is necessary for that.
I also notice that the information presented in this segment is repeated later in the -1 description. Either remove this segment, or the latter.
"Due to their extraordinarily long lifespans, activity throughout large regions and intense feeding habits, their presence is instrumental to the stability of the ecosystem of Central Africa; removal from their habitat has demonstrably adverse effects to the environment."
While RPC-869-1 is not the most aggressive instance of RPC-869, it is still very territorial. Certain animals, mainly humans and Hippopotamuses will enrage RPC-869-1 and cause it to charge at them, although this will only be for a short length before RPC-869-1 loses its energy and returns to its previous activity. If the subject is unable to escape RPC-869-1, they will be trampled by it, with RPC-869 then returning to its previous behavior.
"While RPC-869-1 is passive comparatively to other instances of RPC-869, it is still greatly territorial. The presence of certain animals — primarily humans and hippopotamuses — provokes hostile reactions from RPC-869-1, briefly charging them before returning to its passive state. "
The idea of a sauropod trying to charge you feels rather bizarre — animals known for charging usually have proportionally short legs and stand at a similar height than their enemies in the ecosystem, plus short necks and a bodily constitution capable of withstanding front impact. Sauropods don't have any of these, and there are a great number of reasons why a charging behaviour would make no sense;
- Their primary threats were large enough not to get trampled, and large enough to get a shot at the neck if charged at.
- Movement at the speeds that this article suggests would be insanely taxing to a body of that size, especially considering the neck; even the giraffe has to make significant evolutionary efforts to sustain the length of its neck.
- Sauropods have insanely long and heavy tails — those are enough of a deterrent to any predator should it be in position to have the tail between its body and the predator in question.
- We are not even sure if it would be possible for these things to be so quick. They're already immense and heavy.
RPC-869-1 was first learned about on ██/██/18██ after Authority Researcher David L████████ returned from his 3rd expedition and mentioned in his notes,
No need to censor the name if the reader already probably knows who it is.
This style of continuous narration doesn't go very well with clinical tone, and in this article it feels particularly obtuse to read. Suggest moving the quote to a
quoteblock
and adding more spacing to other text blocks.
While RPC-869-2 has also been seen attacking hippos, humans, and rhinos, it seems to mostly have territorial bouts with migrating elephant populations, with RPC-869-2 being responsible for approximately ███ elephant deaths each year.
Why would it attack rhinos if it's a rhinoceros itself?
That's also a supremely unrealistic number of elephants killed. There aren't that many elephants close to each other in Gabon. And I'm no biologist, but African forest elephants are a threatened species already — this fatality rate would've sunk the population to nothing in the periods in which elephant hunting was most prevalent.
Upon its discovery, Authority researchers noticed a strange pattern with the ██████s of RPC-869-1 through 3 and figured there was some connection between all three anomalies, reclassifying them as RPC-869-1, -2, and -3
This connection is strongly implied but never elaborated upon, and I don't really like that. The anomaly at hand isn't the animals themselves (as far as you've described them, they're rather normal from a biological standpoint), but the evolutionary circumstances that led them to survive every single member of their species (not to mention the extinction of their whole whole clade in the cases of 1 and 4), and this anomaly is barely ever touched upon. The result is that these creatures feature more as contextless pseudo-kaijus that exist "just because" than being something that could be out there, which is kind of the thing cryptids are known for.
Other Authority Researchers believe it to not be a natural species and believe it to be a prehistoric anomaly that was created long before The Authority or any other group dedicated to finding anomalies7.
"Was created" in the sense that it was manufactured artifically? Suggest elaborating here, because what this line states is already what the whole article has been strongly implying.
Once more I insist that you should break down these paragraphs with more
spacing, as well as adding formatting to separate quotes from other text blocks.
The only problem that was had with the visits was that personnel had stopped using its proper classification to refer to it. The nickname "Trunko" showed up on several documents before Site Director D█████ made an announcement reminding personnel to use the proper terminology when referring to RPCs.
This is not believable to me — if these documents are only internal memos, there's no reason to enforce this level of chickenshit, and if they are truly important documents, I don't see how so many people would've slipped up so consistently as to warrant a formal announcement. This is assuming they slipped up, because I don't think they'd intentionally introduce nicknames like these in what's supposed to be formal documents.
The diary log in -4 is rather generic in its approach to the situation at hand — which I understand to be the most sensical approach, but it's also not very interesting to read. Suggest entirely removing it. Furthermore, it does not really read like a period-accurate letter.
Che Guevera's
Che Guevara
Elaborate on the historical context of Che Guevara's presence in the Congo. As-is, it could be confusing to readers that aren't historically inclined.
The most recent event RPC-869-4 was involved in was a skirmish when RPC-666 manifested east of Lake Tanganyika, presumably due to the Second Congo War, on August 13th, 2002. RPC-869-4, who was in one of its mating cycles, saw RPC-666 and began flying towards it, managing to fly to it within █.█ seconds. However, it was unable to cause any notable damage to RPC-666, only temporarily disabling its nose-mounted machine gun, before retreating due to the intense cold surrounding RPC-666. As it was retreating it was hit by one of RPC-666's missiles, but the exact effect this had on RPC-869-4 cannot be determined since it went into hiding for several months after the incident. Ever since the incident, RPC-869-4 has been wary when near helicopters, both civilian and military. Authority researchers have been considering incorporating this fear into containment protocols, to lower RPC-869-4's aggression.
I frankly do not like this encounter. It feels entirely unjustified, depends on the reader already knowing about 666, and serves no purpose to the article but being a "cool kaiju battle."
Similar feelings toward the incident log. It cracks my suspension of disbelief that a Level 3 researcher — someone who is presumably aware that the single predictable characteristic of anomalies is being unpredictable — would incur a risk that big without ever considering just how deep in shit it could get him.
It is also littered with nonclinical language in a clinical report ("the ASF put two and two together"), the GoI cameo is wholly unjustified and provides nothing to the article1, and the general narrative does not signify anything to the rest of the anomaly.
Overall — there are good concepts here, but it needs work. All four anomalies feel very disconnected, with little justification as to why they are even presented as a single group. The primary questions posed by their very existence (what led them to exist?) are never touched, instead tossed aside for what are ultimately tangential narratives about people in the past finding them, cool fight with another anomaly, and researcher fucked up = funny.
Footnotes
1. As a rule of thumb, if you can replace the GoI name with a blackbox with no influence to the narrative, it's not worth including
"Walking with Dinosaurs" is a nature documentary TV miniseries created by Tim Haines and produced by BBC: An alex crit
I am a big sucker for dinosaurs and this article delivered what i wanted and more with the inclusion of the second G.O.I. that i am working on, however i have some slight oversights for the article itself; it's just about some minor things tho.
First: IMO each entity should be named like 869-1 o -4 at the beginning of the article so you can say bellow what they are specifically, but thats just in my opinion
Second:
"Due to their extraordinarily long lifespans and their frequent movements through a large area, the ecosystem of Central Africa has adapted to each instance of RPC-869 as if they were a species living there. Each instance of 869 preys upon a certain species which begins to rapidly populate upon that instance’s absence."
for me the longevity is not that big of a factor to be considered climate changer, however if they reproduce like pests and consume like pests then the category is right
Third: this isnt a nitpick, i love your representation of the mokelembembe and how it uses memetic effects to alter people who see it like in the old myths of people who see them. 10/10
Fourth:
"Upon its discovery, Authority researchers noticed a strange pattern with the ██████s of RPC-869-1 through 3 and figured there was some connection between all three anomalies, reclassifying them as RPC-869-1, -2, and -3"
expand on this and expand it harder, this part is what got me confused and i had to read the article more than 2 times to get it at some parts. It's lightly confusing but nothing that you can't fix.
Fifth (the best of): The GoI and this is something that i feel it was kind of lackluster (NOT IN THE INSULTIVE SENSE).
I was reading it and while i love how they are included i was hoping for more inclusion of them. While i know the next article was a tale about them and im literally hyped up for it i was rather kinda looking more for the guilds here but i think you can add them a little more with more documentation or even like old/corrupted documentation about them
Final one: I love the images
THOUTGS: this article was a blast and while i was confused at first, reading it again and getting history on the topics on the article i fell in love with it, with some minor inclusions/fixed this article will become one of my recent favorites but as of right now ill give it a 3/4 - 5
love you and thank you for this article spam
My mess that is the object class
[[table style="width: 300px; height: 105px"]]
This section here will allow you to edit the height of the tabel so you can remove the awkward spacing in between
It doesn’t matter however since I manage to nail the spaghetti code down to just this to save you all the troubles.
~~~~
[[f<image http://rpcsandbox.wdfiles.com/local--files/ttpy-object-class/Gamma-Red.png style="margin: -10px 0px; height: 65px"]]
+++ **Object Class:**
[[span style="font-weight:bold; color:#000000; text-shadow: 1px 0px #EB1C23, 1px 1px #EB1C23, 0px 1px #EB1C23, -1px 1px #EB1C23, -1px 0px #EB1C23, -1px -1px #EB1C23, 0px -1px #EB1C23, 1px -1px #EB1C23;"]]Gamma-Red[[/span]]
~~~~
RPC-869 is the designation for a group of 4 unique animal specimens that mostly appear to be related to or members of known extinct species that were extant between the Mesozoic and Oligocene periods all living within Central Africa.
Each member of RPC-869 appears to be a prehistoric animal ranging from the Mesozoic era to the Oligocene epoch.
These two sentences are basically repeats of each other
RPC-869-1 is a herbivorous sauropod, that lives around the northern region of the Congo.
Take out the comma
RPC-869-2 is a member of the rhinoceros genus that lives in western Africa.
Suggestion: West Africa
…what would be expected of an average specimen of an equivalent species.2
As a way to keep this ability up, all instances of RPC-869 eat much more…
Spacing in between the first and second paragraph.
As a way to keep this ability up
Strange/Non-clinical word of choice.
Based on observations, of RPC-869-1, 869-2, and 869-3, RPC-869 instances will periodically begin staring at ██████████ ██████████ for short periods throughout the day.
Remove “of”
…throughout the day. this action can take place at nearly any moment
This action
RPC-869-1 appears to be a member of the Janenschia genus, with its habitat and appearance most matching the Janenschia Robusta however close inspection of RPC-869-1's bone structure to verify this has been impossible.
most resembling of
, however,
It prefers to eat the fruit of Landolphia mannii usually eating most or all of the fruits on a tree.
, usually
stomp at its seemed aggressor
perceived aggressor
If this does not successfully cause any provoker to obscene
I have no idea what you were meant to say with obscene
If this does not successfully deter any provoker
then it will use its tail to keep attempting to be rid of its aggressor.
then
continue its attempt at ridding its aggressor.
A few weeks after RPC-869-1 was contained several scientists that remained in the Congo noticed the sudden abundance of the Malomba tree, which was a major source of sustenance for RPC-869-1. After another month of this dominant growth…
I am not well-versed in the subject matter but I personally think that you’d need to extend both waiting periods by a unit (few weeks -> month) (month -> year)
Territory: Gabon
Gabon is not a part of West Africa
RPC-869-2 is a relative to modern rhinoceros species, believed to be a member of the Arsinoitheriidae genus, and a close relative to Arsinoitherium Zitteli
This contradicts with -2’s initial description of being in the rhinoceros genus.
RPC-869-2 being responsible for approximately ██ elephant deaths each year
You’ve already changed this but I think a 3-digit number is a fair estimate.
It will lower its head to that the tip of its horn points at its target
so that
Suggestion: It will lower its head to align its horn to its target
with some RPC agents being launched 20 feet after being impacted and punctured.
Authority agents
RPC-869-2 does not act territorial with smaller animals that live in its Territory
territory
there has been a push among authority researchers
Authority researchers
leading to the deaths of one Level 3 Researcher; two Level 1 Researchers; and five ASF personnel.
Level-3
Level-1
Recently, there has been a push among authority researchers for RPC-869-2 to be temporarily contained on-site due to poaching having an equivalent effect on elephant populations as it does.
Suggestion: Rephrase to “due to the exacerbated effects it has on the elephant population with increasing human poaching activities”
Discovery:
Bolden it as you did with everything else.
It is approximately 14.3 meters in length
Not sure about this measurement, that would have made it about twice the length of an orca, which isn’t reflected in the sketch, which could only be like ~10 or so meters long.
Other Authority Researchers believe it to not be a natural species and believe it to be a prehistoric anomaly that was created long before The Authority or any other group dedicated to finding anomalies.
7 This is consistent with other anomalies who existed before any Authority-like group was created, such as RPC-710, RPC-399, and RPC-293.
Authority researchers
Crosslinks to the aforementioned RPCs.
I don’t understand what this is trying to say. That anomalies existing before the Authority is wholly unknown entities? (Which run contradictory to prior instances, all of which predates such groups.) That it was an artificial anomaly? (Which 399 isn’t)? What is consistent about it.
a few descriptions of it hunting
its
[Researcher J. Dupuis’s record]
Put it in a quote block
RPC-869-3 will seek to separate one member from their whale pod at a time
Suggestion: Rephrase to: “RPC-869-3 will seek to separate a member from their whale pod one at a time”
an anaconda of the amazon
Amazon
Authority Researchers who were exploring the continent noticed large amounts of beached porpoises on the central-eastern coast of Africa, but were unable to determine what was the cause. All whales had large sections taken out of them as if a large group of sharks had been eating at them.
This was not addressed, I assume this to imply -3 as the cause but you never established -3 to hunt porpoises.
but before there was any need for action, Incident-869-3-1 ca
:schizo:
FiNisH aD LoG.
Not much is known about RPC-869-4, as it rarely makes visits outside of its nest which has not yet been located,
and with it being able to hunt and return to its nest within approximately 5 minutes based on Authority calculations, there is not much time to make observations.
Spacing mistake.
and attempts at closer observation during this period have lead to the deaths of 51 personnel and the destruction of 7 Authority drones since its discovery.
have led
51 is still a rather high kill count that implies a constant employing of mass personnel during each attempt repeatedly before Site-058 cut their losses. (Probably halve it)
only measuring about 2-3 feet tall by most estimates, RPC-869-4 appears to be at least 6 feet tall, with a theorized wingspan of 20 feet.
Convert to SI Units
It will usually grab several fish before resurfacing and returning to its nest
it
You’ve already changed this but I think a the inclusion to RPC-666 would have been interesting as it would have further built upon the Second Congo War within the canon.
Incident Date:
Nice job trying to hide it.
Incident Location: Cape of New Hope, South Africa.
Cape of Good Hope
At the time taking an RPC-869 instance out of their habitat, even temporarily, required approval from a level-4 staff member, and none had done so.
Would have been better off as a footnote.
who was the least aggressive towards Authority Personnel
Authority personnel
to move it to the cape of good hope
Capitalization
the ASF put two and two together
This is just outright non-clinical
“ASF Personnel noticed its increased absence and after talking with research personnel, realized Researcher P██████’s actions, alerting the site administration of what had happened.”
While members of the ASF and MST Tango-6 who were stationed at Site-058 were still trying to catch up with Researcher P██████
Don’t know what Tango-6 is doing here. Since you have changed all the prior mentions, I assume these to be a typo.
This light appears to have lead to the current condition of
[Missing]
they're the one who made all the artwork that lines Site-058's Cafeteria.
ones
Pronoun here is still confusing, with you switching between “he” and “they”
I'm sure you're used to these kind of things
These kinds of things
I'm not sure if you're completely familiar with the events that took place on October 11th, 1924
Event took place on 24/25th.
slowly forming itself into a Sphere above 869-3 before it moved towards Site Director Dupuis
a sphere
But then he started having these sort of daydreams
sorts
It was around this time that I was given the position of the just-opened and currently vacant role of GD-AFRI. Site-008 was still being built so I was stationed at Site-058.
GD-06 or Regional Director as you did in later instances. The Regional GD thing didn’t came into view until the end of WW2.
I didn't want to seem like a loon to the other Regional Directors and get myself fired
Regional Directors =/= Global Directors
Do I continue the charade that nothing's wrong and Dupuis is an admirable site director who's had no issues or admit the truth.
Question mark
March 14th, 1968, 9:26 AM (last edited 20 minutes ago)
(last edited 20 minutes ago) and arguably maybe 9:26 AM too
——
This is actually rare and cool to have an article taking place in such a long time ago compare to the usuals. Yet the nature of these creatures are weird/contradictory. Their ability doesn’t truly drive up their need for sustenance, this is inferred from the fact that they: Don’t always go for the greatest food source, as is the case with -2, and they don’t actually actively avoid the draining of energy, as seen by their lack of need for sleep. I do appreciate the explanation given at the end, as a way for the “Eye”(NIHIL! SAVAGE REDNESS! FAIR EXCHANGE REEEEEEEEEE) to continue the “Hunt”.
And yeah there is literally no build up to Dupuis, that part needs something more, if even just a name drop in Containment Protocol or anywhere else in the article.
I don’t like the Steel Ring inclusion though, it just "read forced-in", as is the decision to suddenly bring it all the way to South Africa just in time for the civilian incident, regardless if it’s true or not. I
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