The best thing about this signature is that by the time you're done reading it you'll have realized it doesn't mean anything.
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Very fun little article, gives a good Series 1 feel without being shit. I like it
Good job for a first post!
subjects will agree to enter the contract despite their better judgement.
To remain unbiased, replace with:
subjects will agree to enter the contract even if doing so contradicts their system of judgement.
Subject was 100 meters away from the crashing site and was crushed by a large shipment of bananas which had been launched by the explosion. This was the only known case of the obtained wealth also being the cause of death.
It being bananas is extremely comical and takes away from the immersion. In reality, gorillas do not have a preference for bananas, simply ripe fruit. You really should replace "bananas" with "ripe fruit."
This is a great starter article, I think. I like succinct phenos, and this one is short while also being mostly cohesive enough for me not to think it's unfinished.
Even then, it feels like it needs just a little more to feel fully complete. I strongly suggest you include a picture of the gorilla's signature. That would make this article very compelling.
3.5/5, I'll round down to 3/5 though as per the criticism I gave above. If you include that little bit more of content (doesn't necessarily have to be the signature it's just something I strongly suggest) I'll happily change my vote to a 4/5 or maybe further.le great start
This is actually really refreshing.
Many articles try to be something bigger than what they are, but I've always loved self-contained stories that aren't too lore heavy and don't rely on giant implications. It does feel a little short, and if you ever return to this and decide to add onto it, I would suggest adding at least 1 log where a human signs the contract.
Most everything else would be personal nitpicks, or maybe some format stuff. If you'd like help with formatting, just message me on discord (I'm Joe Schlogan) and I'll help you as best I can.
I'm gonna give this a 4/5 because it made me smile.
It's hard not to like this article. It's not the most original story, but it's got just enough detail and believable simplicity that it works.
I do question the use of knots as a unit of measurement, though.
I feel like the article ended before it could begin. 2 more logs wouldn't hurt.
3 now.
/forum/t-13970028/rpc-346#post-