I have had this article draft sittin in my collection for about 2 or 3 months now so let's see how it goes. It's definitely the shortest one I ever wrote. I was inspired by SCP-500 to write this but I didn't want to make it a pill since it would be too close to 500. Advice would be nice.
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/catovski-draft
Harold K Caztovski
While it's certainly different than SCP-500, I was actually reminded way more of SCP-1930 reading this draft. In its current state, I would say this feels more like a Lesser Anomalous Object entry than a full article. The main issue is that the narrative doesn't go anywhere, we're just given some random examples of people getting healed without it amounting to anything interesting at the end.
If you read SCP-1930, you see how each entry builds up until you get the shocking reveal in the last example. That's sort of what I'm looking for here: What makes this doctor's bag stand out from just being a lesser anomalous object? I'd suggest you find a way to make each example escalate in severity until the last entry shows us how powerful this doctor's bag could really be.
I haven't read RPC-018 or RPC-166 yet, so I don't know how significant their inclusion in this article is, but RPC-166 didn't make any sense to me because it appeared to be just an inanimate object. Why would the doctor's bag suddenly work with non-human subjects? If that's the twist, then that should've been foreshadowed a lot more beforehand because it doesn't add up with how the anomaly is supposed to work.
in case of an emergency
What kind of emergencies? Specify.
must not be used for any non-emergencies.
A bit redundant.
The interior of the bag is entirely empty when opened by a person with no disabilities, injuries, or diseases.
It's obviously implied later on, but I think you should be explicit about what happens when people who are disabled/injured/diseased open the bag.
3 days later
Missing period.
acquired
I would use 'suffered from' here.
RPC-807 revealing
Add comma in the middle.
reading "Get some rest"
that read "Get some rest".
RPC-807 unveiling
Add comma in the middle.
The contents of RPC-807 appeared to be an anti-parasitic drug named Dihydroartemisinin, a drug known to treat Malaria. Besides the medication was what appeared to be ADHD pills.
"The content of RPC-807 included the drug Dihydroartemisinin, and ADHD pills"
Footnote what the drug is: "An anti-parasitic drug known to treat Malaria."
learned
I would say 'discovered'. Also, how did the Authority not know he had ADHD? Was it undiagnosed for some reason?
leads
led
resulted in
sustained
RPC-018/V1
Cross-link this RPC's page.
medulla
Missing period.
RPC-166
Again cross-link.
flashlight indicating
Add comma in the middle.
Theta is not a class anymore, I would recommend saying:
Alpha-White (Utility)
Theta got replaced with utility
Hazard Types: None
From what I've read, it clearly has. You should read the Hazards page and try to find something that fits into any of its properties.
RPC-807 is kept
RPC-807 is to be kept*
RPC-807 must only be used in case of an emergency such as severe diseases, disorders, and/or injuries.
RPC-8'7 should only be utilized in the case of medical emergencies such as severe lacerations, bodly trauma, contraction of an infectious disease, etc.*
RPC-807-2 must only be used for testing with biological hazard-based RPCs or to cure incurable diseases such as Cancer and AIDS.
RPC-807-2 should only be utilized for testing with organic-based anomalies, or to treat incurable diseases such as Cancer and AIDS.*
The chemical within RPC-807-2 must not make any contact with oxygen at any time. If the chemical is exposed to oxygen, it is recommended not to inject it into a patient.
The chemical compound found within RPC-807-2 is to be kept in complete isolation from oxygen. Should the compound be allowed to react with oxygen, it is recommended not to inject it into a patient and/or anomaly.*
RPC-807 is an antique doctor's bag originating between the years of 1842 and 1844.
RPC-807 is an antique leather doctor's bag, originating between the years of 1842 to 1844.*
You could also say if its making indicates a brand or a region it may have been manufactured at
The interior of the bag is entirely empty when opened by a person with no disabilities, injuries, or diseases.
The interior of the bag appears to be entirely empty when opened by an individual possessing no physical disabilities, bodly injuries, or diseases.*
You could tru to say what DOES count, does a rash in your finger count? Its important information.
If someone with a disease, injury, or disability, RPC-807 will be containing the required medication or medical tools to help the subject.
Should someone meeting the previously stated conditions open RPC-807, this will display an array of medical tools and pharmaceutical equipment that could be of use for treating the individuals' conditions.*
You could also give some examples of whats the minimum and maximum it can give out, bandaid or full surgical equipment
Further testing of RPC-807 has led to the discovery of an unknown chemical within a syringe.
Further testing of RPC-807 has led to the discovery of an unknown chemical compound found within a syringe often provided by RPC-807.*
The syringe has been designated RPC-807-2 due to it having separate properties to RPC-807-1 instances.
The syringe has been designated RPC-807-2 due to its anomalous properties in comparasion to other objects commonly found within RPC-807*
RPC-807-2 is a syringe 30.48cm in length and holds an odd purple-like chemical within the syringe.
RPC-807-2 is a syringe 30.48cm in length, which holds an purple-like liquid substance within it.*
This could be at the start of the paragraph
The Authority does not consider RPC-807-2 a separate entity from RPC-807 since it appears from within RPC-807 and cannot be manufactured despite researchers' many tries to do so. It has been proven through Test 807-5 and Test 807-6 that RPC-807-2 is able to cure multiple diseases.
Researchers, however, do not consider RPC-807-2 a separate entity from RPC-807, stating the former to be a product exclusive to RPC-807 itself, given this has not been able to be replicated nor found outside of it. As shown within "Test 807-5" and "Test 807-6", RPC-807-2 holds the capability to treat a extensive array of symptoms.*
Although able to cure multiple diseases, it can be weakened via contact with oxygen. If the purple substance does come into contact with oxygen, it will be greatly weakened. The color will change from its purple appearance to a bluish color. If injected with the weakened substance there will be a 25% chance of being cured, a 25% chance of nothing happening, and a 50% chance of death. The substance is not affected by oxygen within the human body.
Although capable of curing several illnesses, RPC-807-2 can be rendered highly ineffective by contact with oxygen. Once it has reacted with oxygen, the substance contained within RPC-087 will change color, from a light-purple to different shades of blue. Injection with RPC-807-2 instances that has made contact with oxygen have shown to possess a 25% chance to function as intended, a 25% chance of having no effect in the subject, and a 50% chance to instantly terminate the subject. However, the substance does not appear to react with oxygen found inside the human body.*
[I get this is a drawback to now have it be a cure all, but even with normal syringes, it is very hard to make them accidentaly get oxygen inside. Very hard actully. You might wanna think of something different if the former was your intention.]
3 bottles of water and a pill bottle of anti-inflammatory pain relievers
You should clarify that RPC-807 provides MODERN medical tools and drugs. Also, water of what brand?
a pack of ice has appeared inside
remove the "has"
a syringe had appeared within
remove "had"
within RPC-807*
CSD-8792 and fell unconscious.
CSD-8792, who then fell unconscious.*
The subject and came to 2 minutes after collapsing.
and came?
Within RPC-807 had been another exact replica of the syringe from Test 807-5 with the same chemical.
Within RPC-807 another exact replica of the syringe from Test 807-5 had appeared, containing the same chemical.*
[REDACTED]
Why?
Very interesting article! Would like to see maybe some more development, a discovery segment, and what I already said abou the oxygen reactions. Aside from that, very cool!
or to cure incurable diseases such as Cancer and AIDS
or to cure diseases which currently have no cure such as HIV/AIDS and various types of cancer.
he chemical within RPC-807-2 must not make any contact with oxygen at any time
remove the first any
If someone with a disease, injury, or disability
If opened by a person with a disease…
Further testing of RPC-807 has led to the discovery of an unknown chemical within a syringe. The syringe has been designated RPC-807-2 due to it having separate properties to RPC-807-1 instances. RPC-807-2 is a syringe 30.48cm in length and holds an odd purple-like chemical within the syringe.
Further testing of RPC-807 has led to the discovery of an unknown, liquid chemical that is colored purple and associated with the anomaly. It is contained within a 30.48cm long syringe and has been designated as RPC-807-2.
Although able to cure multiple diseases, it can be weakened via contact with oxygen. If the purple substance does come into contact with oxygen, it will be greatly weakened.
Remove the second sentence
A neat little idea that I feel warrants more expanding in the direction of testing. What would happen if it came in to contact with afflictions that were not as easy to cure. For example, what happens when it comes in to contact with a Bibliomaniac? I say this often but feel free to get weird with it! Research some rare conditions and see how you can apply them to this idea. I think that could be very interesting.
3/5 for now
RPC-807 is able to diagnose any diseases and disabilities of any kind.
Reword to "RPC-807 has the ability to diagnose any disease and disability of any kind."
RPC-807-2 holds the capability to treat an extensive array of symptoms.
I would change this to curing an array of diseases cuz right now Benadryl and Ibuprofen can treat large amounts of symptoms too. So you are just explaining a over the counter all purpose drug. Unless it is like a vaccine then keep it and explain it is a vaccine.
Influenza
Which one though? It might not matter but there are 4 types with different severities
Overall I would give this a 4/5
Where there is a choice of two evils, I choose both.
Some thoughts!
I think it's a reasonable draft, and would certainly be ready to put on the site with some polish, though I do worry about it being… well, easy to perceive as overpowered? Like, fuck, giving the Authority to cure cancer is a big deal. Maybe impose a clearer upper limit on what this thing can do?
