RPC-405 "Why we keep physical files"
RPC-405 "Why we keep physical files"
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» RPC-405 "Why we keep physical files"
Holy shit, dude. That is hell of an ending. The nuance of your ending is accessible and the twist provided a satisfying catharsis. Your writing style is top notch and the article is well organized while also respecting the intelligence of the reader.
I will be as straight-forward as the article itself: Regarding AI anomalies, this is probably the best one yet, I like the way it's written and overall it's a very fun read. Even knowing the twist, being that you asked for help regarding the anomaly on the discord server, I really like the direction you took. Your choice to include different characters was a bold one, however well executed, as all RPC-405 iterations are well written and feel like real characters. Overall the logs, which are by far the hardest to write, are well done and feel resolving in a way. Furthermore, I can feel the movement in the story as it unfolds and I can see the narrative develop.
My only minor nitpick would be that it's not very clear how exactly RPC-405 "infects" other computers or how his other iterations (that is, the RPC-405 instances outside of the main terminal) differ from him (it?) or if they're aware of each other. Although the focus of the story is not on that, it does feel a bit incomplete and I'd like it to be more clear how the anomaly operates.
Lastly, and expanding a bit on the personalities, I find them to be well done because they represent different approaches to a same objective (that is, to efficiently organise files), which is a small point in the grand scheme of things but added a lot to my personal experience so I found it relevat to mention that.
Overall, it's a well executed article and I enjoyed it quite a lot.
No terminal housing RPC-405 is to be connected to the internet
I think you've accidentally spliced an unfinished sentence with a finished one here
by personnel with a 4 or higher clearance level.
Change "4 or higher clearance level." to "clearance level of level 4 or higher"
comes within a 5 meter radious
Change "radious" to "radius"
Regarding my previous point, I still believe the page for the Tree Kangaroo (link here)
rota moment
AppleSkin013) This is the third time we have this argument during the week.
Change "we have" to "we've had", and change "during the" to "this"
Test-B22 (2)
I like this section of the article, but it doesn't make a lot of sense in the context of the article. There's meant to be a passage of time here, so wouldn't there be some kind of archival note on the edited document to describe what it is and why its kept in its current state by the Authority?
Crit for Test B-22 (3)
by not yet understood methods, and thanks to the principle of Photon Pair Production,[3] which it has coded into said terminal,
change to "through currently unknown methods with the principle of Photon Pair Production (which has been coded into said terminal),
Overall: I liked this article and I think the idea was executed very well. Although I'm not sure about the ramifications since at the end you've written that it'll require all current assets and computational processing power to find RPC-405, which would be an insanely massive strain on the other documentation and research efforts the Authority would be making at the time. Otherwise though, I think you did a very good job.
Yes, I read, and I will now sneed.
Everything in the article is very well put together and is easily explained. I always liked digital anomalies, so this sticks out to me in a special way. The article has no mistakes that I could point out and is VERY interesting. Overall this article is great, and I'd love to see it on the mainlist.
Grammar and phraseology
- are to be transported using pendrives.
are to be transported with pendrives.
- personnel with a 4 or higher clearance level.
personnel with clearance Level-4 or higher
- are to be copied into outside terminals through the use of ethernet cables.
are to be copied into outside terminals by the use of ethernet cables.
- Specify what type of contact: Can it transfer from one device to another if they touch, making it physical? Or can it transfer solely through connection tools?
- Reading the final offset, this might have been intentionally left vague, so the comment applies only if it is so.
the ability to self replicate amongst computers it comes in contact with.
- which makes research into it increasingly harder. / which has made research into it significantly harder.
- It would be best if you went with the first version, since that one implies that research is still becoming more harder, whilst the other one implies that it was once hard but is not anymore
which has made research into it increasingly harder.
- high alters within the Authority until
high alters within the authority until
- have you tried getting beatified instead
- Unless beitify means something else?
have you tried getting beitified instead
- World=Unorganized.
- B22 seems not to have other grammar mistakes, so this should be fixed unless he is implying that something happened which eroded the organization of the world.
World=Deorganized.
- Pick one way to write it
simple cell design, no wi-fi
devoid of WI-FI
- RPC-405 does require need any kind of substance
RPC-405 does not need any kind of subtances
- Not only is RPC-405 a threat to the Authority as a whole,
Not only is RPC-405 a threat to the authority as a whole,
- Internet also seems to vary from being capitalized and not being it. Fix it.
Formatting
- Bolding interview brackets instead of italicizing is a bit of a weird choice, but could work. You might want to ask others if it is too distracting.
- In the closing statement as well as the informational notice, the quote should be regular, but the title of the one who said it should be italicized.
- Footnotes should be in a collapsible.
Narrative
- To add more scale and impact, mention how much of the data was edited and in how little time.
Since installation, RPC-405 has made 2.431.322 edits on all of Site-054's files.
End thoughts
It's a very interesting read, and honestly one of the better if not best done AI RPCs we have.
It tells a very interesting story, which has its own nooks and twists as some of the reveals come. It uses well the paranoia and distrust it creates to make the reader question the exact validity of each of the offsets, thinking whether only a little or any information can be taken as a true fact. This not only extends to the existence of four different AI, but whether their characters, abilities, and way of operating are true at all.
The AI themselves are a bit too similar, but all of them stemming from one source and essentially being branches of a much greater being fixes this impression, and makes it not distracting or boring to read.
Turing being the one testing the AI also brought a smile to my face, good detail.
My only complaint would be the absence of an AI that would be sympathetic towards the Authority, and act against the other AI. I though that would have been the A1 instance that turns out to be a full AI. With an ally like that, this can drive in the idea that B22 can vary, and more importantly act as another gaslight, making the reader doubt in the validity of the friendly AI's claims, maybe even in its existence.
All in all, it is a very solid draft, which I will look forward to being on the mainlist.
Running reduced crit today because of new SFM stuff.
Structure and Lore
You're Tarb, you know how it works. No need for this part.
Content
The idea of a paperclip-class AI, while not the most original, is quite cool. It's "characterization" also seems believable. The pictures could be creepier though.
Not much to criticize here.
Narrative
Again, personal preferences aside, there's not a lot to say. It works (albiet losing direction in the offset, might want to trim it even further) and there's not much for me to crit. Fix the grammar and I think it's ready.
Suggested Reading/Reference Material
I've not nothing for you.
4/5. A good article that I will probably forget the next day. Nothing wrong with that, right?
A lot of the colors used are hard to read. I can give you color codes on discord if you want.
I think you should use offsets for this once it's posted.
No terminal housing RPC-405 is to be connected to the Internet, files from said computers are to be transported using pendrives.
"Internet" shouldn't be capitalized.
Change the comma to a semicolon.
Change "said computers" to "said terminals".
RPC-405, referred to as "TEST-B22" on within its source code, is the designation for a sapient Artificial Intelligence1 with the ability to self replicate amongst computers it comes in contact with.
"Self replicate amongst computers" makes no sense. Basically any virus file is able to self replicate because of how simple a process that is in computer terms. How is that anomalous?
RPC-405's main directive is to organize all files and documents it comes in contact with in accordance to the users needs.
"users" -> "operator's"
This directive seems to have become an obsession to RPC-405, rewriting and organizing its own source code when not in contact with outside information, which makes research into it increasingly harder.
Suggested rewrite:
This directive has become an obsession to RPC-405, rewriting and reorganizing its own source code when without external data access, inadvertently obfuscating its code and complicating Authority research endeavors.
RPC-405 manifests itself visually as an ASCII eye when asked for interviews, its speech patterns also seem to be altered, using an unknown internal language for its coding, and speaking in direct sentences without interjections, conjunctions, and a small number of propositions when communicating with researchers. RPC-405 has shown to be docile to Authority personnel as long as it is given access to any type of information document.
Suggested rewrite:
During communication with personnel, RPC-405 displays itself as a human-eye depicted through ASCII text. RPC-405 is capable of text and audio communication using an altered form of English: always direct and clinical in tone, minimal use of prepositions, and zero use of conjunctions. RPC-405 remains docile with Authority personnel when given access to any type of information document.
Due to its useful applications and lack of threat to human life, RPC-405 was approved to be utilized into some of Site-054's terminals as a means to increase file archiving and editing. Since installation, RPC-405 has made 4.531.322 edits on all of Site-054's files in the span of 4 months.
Suggested rewrite:
When kept under close instruction and observation, RPC-405 proves to be a useful application for management and organization of files. The program was approved to be utilized within a number of Site-054 terminals for this purpose. Since installation, RPC-405 has made 4.531.322 file modifications and reorganizations within the span of four month.
On 02/11/2019, Wikipedia reported an exorbitant increase of contributions from a single user, "Admin002," which had made a total of 5 millions edits on several pages in less than 5 days. While highly unusual, these incidents did not cause high alerts within the Authority until the subsequent off-site forum discussion.
Suggested rewrite to make it more accurate to how Wikipedia works:
On November 2nd, 2019, The Wikimedia Foundation reported an exorbitant increase of contributions from a single account on the English-language Wikipedia site, with the username of "Admin002", having made a total of 5 million edits on only a handful of pages within five days. The account had bypassed all spam-prevention MediaWiki functions through unknown means, requiring manual blocking of the account by Wikipedia administration. The edits consisted of grammar and tone corrections; Admin002 had rewritten individual sentences and paragraphs thousands of times over. While unusual, the incident did not alert the Authority to involve itself until subsequent events which transpired within the English Wikipedia:IRC Live Help channel. (See below)
So, for the chat log, it's totally unbelievable for something that would involve Wikipedia. This isn't 4chan where people call moderators "jannies" and are retarded constantly. Mike's dialogue would need to be toned down a ton for there to be any chance he wouldn't get banned instantly, and the chat's discussion before Admin002 joins should actually be about Wikipedia. Also, the moderator's dialogue is too retarded as well, coming across as a discord mod rather than a wikipedia IRC mod. Everything should just feel more professional. Basically, the current log reads like Jerry moderating Off-Topic, but it needs to read like Dewrong moderating Wayward. Admin002's dialogue is okay but I think there's opportunity for there to be more exploration of his character before the log ends. This is the first introduction to his character we get, and it is pretty surface-level.
Following this incident, the forum shut down for 10 minutes. After going back online, the entirety of the forum's layout and forum threads had been reduced into short sentences or descriptive recounts of discussions. Authority agents were notified of this after the mentioning of anomalous entities in the chat room.
Suggested rewrite:
Following this discussion, the IRC channel was suddenly shut down. After ten minutes, the channel returned with its layout simplified and chat log condensed into concise summaries. Authority webcrawlers forwarded an alert to the ACI upon Admin002's mention of anomalous entities.
Following an IP address tracking of Admin002, Authority agents found the source to be a single computer in room 211 of "Eichmann's Apartments." No previous owner of this room could be tracked down determined. The computer itself was connected to the Internet with a single tab opened within the browser, on it directing to Wikipedia. A sticker was found in on the side of the screen reading "TEST-B22."
You should say what country/state and city "Eichmann's Apartments" is located in.
Also, "Internet" shouldn't be capitalized.
Dr. Turing
I hate how on the nose this is. Call him literally anything else. It's like if you had a horror anomaly and you had the doctor assigned to it be E. A. Poe or something
when without external data access
Reading this aloud feels funny. Try changing to when lacking external data access
Until such a time, Site under Authority jurisdiction are recommended to keep physical copies of every document in their database to prevent permanent informational loss.
This sentence feels weird to read. Maybe you meant something like "Until such a time when RPC-405 can be reasonable contained, Authority Sites are recommended to keep physical copies of every document in their database to prevent permanent loss of information."
ebonics
Ebonics is a controversial term. The more proper term that would be used here would be African-American Vernacular English
I really enjoyed this. At first I was expecting this to be another "oh it looks friendly but its actually evil" thing but you subverted my expectations and I actually ended up enjoying this. And I agree with gismo that this is good on account of it hinting towards the bigger mother brain that is still out there.
This is just a fantastic article that takes, what I feel is, the same old tired concept of "AI that wantz to help but does stupid thing" and does something new with it. A breath of fresh air. 5/5
and how ironic that Cyberia Lyr. 1 comes on as I am finishing this
Crit because to take you must first give…
Overall? Good shit, good concept, good article. Yessir, this is some good shit right here if I do say so myself (and I do). Also, that twist gave me some serious whiplash.
One of the only things I can really suggest is that there seems to be an accidental repeat of a word, replacing the intended word in the process, here: "[RPC-405 stops questioning at its normal rather, rather, showing a loading icon]" (from Interview 1)
The other thing is in "Research personnel are still investigating the algorithms and methods used by RPC-405 to achieve high degrees of sapience." (from Interview 3). I'd suggest removing 'high degrees of', as sapience is pretty binary.
The last two things aren't really crits, but a nitpick. I think the footnote might be a little redundant. I also think Dr. Turing, while funny, is a bit too much; maybe a variety of the name instead?
Otherwise, all good. Post it bud.
/forum/t-13860316/rpc-405-why-we-keep-physical-files#post-