ANDROMEDA RECOVERY 2476

Summary:

Non-Canon farcomm tale based on crepe's contest entry (RPC-329)

ANDROMEDA RECOVERY 2476

0ktober 02 Nov 2020 00:44

http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/farcomm-idea

This has a lot of wild ideas in it so I decided I'd write it for non-canon as to not step on toes. Very short.

Not required reading, but FARCOMM concepts are borrowed from RPC-329.

Re: ANDROMEDA RECOVERY 2476

TheGreatTarbolin69 02 Nov 2020 02:34

SHOW TEXT

>1A3ODC, THIS IS BASE. IDENTIFY YOURSELF

Why are they just saying the name of the com channel/device at the start, am I missing something? Wouldn't it make more sense to refer to them as unidentified vessel or something

>OH. FUCK. YOU'RE SHITTING ME.

At least the first period doesn't seem like something one would naturally type

| >ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

I don't feel someone would just type two alrights in the situation they are in, which I would assume is "confusing" and wanting to get the most amount of info to the other side as fast as possible

| >SHIT, I GUESS OUR TECH IS BASED ON THEIRS. NO WAY ELSE YOU COULD CONNECT TO FARCOMM

I think the most resonable conclusion someone would come to here is "Maybe they both function on the same principles of physics or something" rather than "Oh I guess that is the original farcomm the current one is based on"

| >YEAH, THE FIRST QUADRILLION-DOLLAR CORPORATIONS

"QUADRIL COMPANIES" sounds more like a quadrillion-dollar conglomerate

| >I FOUND THAT DUDE'S BODY IN THE GAS CHAMBER. DUDE KILLED HIMSELF.

Maybe change the last sentence over so its not two "dudes." Maybe a joke at him killing himself while being basically an undead, in short, re-killing himself

---

It was kino, I liked it.

Only issue I see is that the white-text guy seems more like a random ship operator than any "Base" serious operator, and the fact the text seem more "spoken" than "writen"

Last edited on 02 Nov 2020 02:34 by TheGreatTarbolin69 Show more

Re: ANDROMEDA RECOVERY 2476

0ktober 02 Nov 2020 03:02

Implemented all of these. I tried to make it more clear that it's a text system here:

| >THIS IS THE GALACTIC COMMUNICATIONS AUTHORITY, BINARY COMMS LINE 1A3ODC. IDENTIFY YOURSELF

Re: ANDROMEDA RECOVERY 2476

yoitsgecko 07 Nov 2020 04:08

It’s a short tale with great writing, so unfortunately (or fortunately 😎) there’s not much for me to talk about without sounding very nitpicky. That said, I did manage to come up with two things that I do think could use a smidge of extra detail:

1) Why does the lieutenant start by demanding to know what year it is? It feels bizarre to start that way. IMO it needs a little more buildup.

2) Why did humans leave the Earth so fast and have no objectifications to it getting destroyed? Wouldn’t the RPC Authority get involved and try to stop it? Maybe this is something from 329 I’m missing.

Overall, great work and I hope this gets through. This is great as-is, it’s just my two cents.

Re: ANDROMEDA RECOVERY 2476

0ktober 07 Nov 2020 04:41

Those are good points. I'll try think of something. Thanks!