[Omega Iota] RPC-464 - Fredrika
(account deleted) 17 Jul 2020 21:02
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/fredrika
Almarduk has critted this on Discord
~Baubi
[Omega Iota] RPC-464 - Fredrika
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» [Omega Iota] RPC-464 - Fredrika
Summary:
gril stuk at bototm
(account deleted) 17 Jul 2020 21:02
RPC-464 was built primarily using mainly concrete and bricks
RPC-464 appears measures 50.304m by 77.4192m by 52.7m wide on the outside. The structure's interior is far larger than its exterior dimensions, measuring at 121.92m2. The interior's walls, floor, and ceiling are composed of 25cm2-large stone bricks
Needlessly precise and there’s no reason they would have different levels of precision for the different measurements.
Beyond what I’ve pointed out, this draft has a lot of subpar clinical tone in places. There’s really nothing going on in this article, which makes that inexcusable. Am I missing something? Is there a secret collapsible somewhere? This draft seems to be completely contentless. The only thing it has going for it is a brief paragraph or two of decent imagery.
The failing of the article lies in the difference between the groups that is related to the article and the SCP that inspired it:
As of now, the Department of Abnormalities works because the group is entirely shrouded in uncertainty, and the implication that it brought on.
Omega Iota is intended to be a fully explored organization which definitely took away some parts of the mystery factor to it.
From past instances, this article is likely not going to be accepted for OI to be canonized and so I argued that you should remove all direct mentioning of Omega Iota to this entry, and leave it at the Worms Treaty and Reeds Express Ltd. which could be brought up from other entries and thus link the company to Omega Iota that way.
This is just… even with no addenda, this thing tells so much and it’s got a wonderful atmosphere. Clinical tone and grammar are on point, but what else can you expect from Scaly? I really hope you add something to it, but to be frank, even in its shortness, it’s already worth a good 4 for me.
Marco Marchi B. Mark
Containment Protocols:
RPC-464 was acquired in 1960 following the signing of the Worms Treaty.
I don't see how this is relevant towards the containment
Two undercover ASF personnel guard the building, rotating shifts every 14 hours.
are to guard* (sounds beter imo)
Final Review:
Yeah those 3 things were all I could find wrong, this article is ultra short and I ASSUME you will develop it further, becase of said reason.
It sounds interesting so far thou, so thats something.
/forum/t-13559890/omega-iota-rpc-464-fredrika#post-