RPC-311-1 through 5
-5
an area that is unsanitary
deemed unsanitary
RPC-311-5 will then pull out trash
previously collected trash
We believe the body parts are replaced with trash
It is theorized that the body parts are replaced with trash
a gold colored skirt
gold-colored
RPC-311-1 carries around large wooden scissors everywhere it goes.
RPC-311-1 carries around large wooden scissors at all times.
a tan button up jacket
button-up
a cream colored scarf
cream-colored
and 4
-4
RPC-311 were first discovered
was
MST-Opal-2 Bergziege transported RPC-311to Site-██ in █████, Germany
MST-Opal-2 ("Bergziege") transported RPC-311 to Site-██ in █████, Germany
(The usage of a MST agent as a lure is really unethical, maybe replace him with a CSD)
"Containment Protocols: RPC-311’s containment is nonexistent due to their abilities, but RPC-311-1-5 are found within Site-██ wandering around"
This part needs to be cleaned up for format. "Containment Protocols: Due to the anomalous effects/abilities/nature of RPC-311 is allowed to roam the 3rd level/west wing/low threat containment grounds of Site-██" something like that. the sections about 'looking for scrap and filth' belong in the description section.
Furthermore the "looking for any scraps of filth, trash, or anything deemed unsanitary." these aren't very specified when they should be. say "decaying meat" or "Biomass in the process of decomposition(Flesh,Wool, fluids)" something more technical. at the very least just tell us whose standard of "filth" must it meet? even if it's just "looking for any scraps of filth, trash, or anything that RPC-311-1 deems 'unsanitary'. The exact criteria for RPC-311-5 to deem an item as 'unsanitary' is not yet fully understood/remains unknown/is currently being studied/is currently being researched."
The same problem exists for the terms "completely sanitized" and "being assaulted by RPC-311-1-5." does it just beat the shit out of people what does that mean? try "to prevent a RPC-311-1-alpha incident/'cleansing Fit'/hostile aggression." or something and then explain further what exactly happens deeper in the article.
Again, all of that belongs in the description block.
The same problem with "must go through cleansing" am I getting sprayed down with chemicals? what chemicals, or am I on a juice cleanse? is there a point where this is technically explained to the personnel what must be done exactly?
"RPC-311-1-5" -> "RPC-311-1 through 5" might keep things less confusing.
"RPC-311 are a group of humanoids" -> "RPC-311 is the collective designation of a number of humanoids each of which is individual classified as RPC-311-1 through RPC-311-5."
Similarly,
Re-work the whole physical description. Because the format fits well for a person speaking or describing it in a story, but not the needed inventory-esk tone the article needs. you cant talk abut what is under the babushka until you type the words "each wears a dark babushka" you know what I mean?
"perfectly shaped white teeth" perfectly triangular/perfectly cubular/ perfectly spaced?
"and a tongue that is found" is it found severed, just lying there? that's what I imagine when you say "found" try Located. do you just mean to say that it does not extend down the throat, and its just connected to the bottom of the beak? and is this tongue special? long short human, non-human? if there is nothing special about it, just say the beak contains a tongue and teeth.
"All RPC-311 entities have no eyes or nostrils." this contradicts the ealier part where they said they don't know, so one of them needs to be rewritten.
"It is unknown as of yet how RPC-311-1-5 are able to sense any unsanitary areas, humans, or items." -> "how RPC-311 navigate their environment is still unknown/currently under research/being studied." something less wordy.
"Although the attire of each RPC-311 instance is not exactly identical, all dress consistent with ~~~~ likewise each Bla bla bla has a distinct voice…" straight forward, as few words as possible.
I suggest making the 'Ga Ga Ga' vocalizations its own short paragraph.
If their behavior is the same each time they clean something, make it an organized list:
-number 1 sweeps this
-numbers 2 and 3 scrub that
"The material of RPC-311's clothing is highly corrosive to living tissue, and will [REDACTED] to any personnel who makes contact with said material." this part belongs with the part of the article where you are describing the appearance not the behavior.
unless every detail needs to be known about the differences between each of them, make the description block a collapsible.
"a small village found in █████, Austria" apparently the village has no name because its not even redacted.
"used a Class-A amnestics"
"Airline-Four-Seven" use numbers.
actually the whole discovery article seems too in-depth. I don't need to know which agent died and how, and what his name was. its all explained in the black box anyways. if you already said it people wont want to read the black box stuff.