Just add these letters, please
Why this isn't article…
Just add these letters, please
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» Writing & Drafts / Ideas & Brainstorming
» Just add these letters, please
Summary:
I actually need your hand!!!
laclale please
blabbo
(account deleted)Please… Please…
~Baubi
… you say please add "please"?
KOREA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAA KOKOREA FUCK DA JAPAN KOREA NUMBAH WAN HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
~Baubi
Mood. You ok Laclale? We're here for you in your darkest times.
I thought this was spam, it's a tale *facepalms*
O/
Lac, one of the reasons that you are struggling here is because of how much of a language barrier there is. Using translators in order to write your articles fills them with grammar errors and jumbles the sentences. When people then give critique to those articles, you don't improve your English because you aren't learning what mistakes were made.
You need to work on improving your English, and you need to be patient with it.
This kind of lashing out behavior does not reflect on anyone but yourself. You have good ideas. You make good article concepts. You may be writing something that makes perfect sense, and I bet that you are working hard on it! But the execution is ruined when you use translators. Please take a step back from writing articles this way, and work on your English first.
I understand there's a language barrier here, so I'll try to focus on sentence structure and syntax to maybe help you write in English better. English is my second language too, so I get you fam. Here goes:
First, send draft to crit. Then…
So maybe you're going for a poetry style here, but you need to edit this still. You've written a sentence fragment, and maybe in Japanese it's correct, maybe it's a haiku, but in English it's not looking good. Try:
First, send in a draft to critique. Then… You shouldn't abbreviate without a period, and even then critique has to abbreviation.
Like everything you do to Lac's article.
This seems rather personal here, but it's not conveyed well because of the sentence fragment. Try:
Like everything else you do to Lac's article. The reader doesn't really need to know what else, it's conveyed well enough.
The rest of the first stanza is fine, moving on.
Lac is very sad for this. You need to break language wall.
I'm not sure if you're telling readers to break the language wall or if Lac needs to break the language wall. It's also a language barrier. Rewrite this whole thing here, it's very strange.
Because… she is japanese. And autism.
Try: Because… she is Japanese, and has autism. It flows better with the poetry. Unless you put And autism under the first part of the sentence. Then it could work too.
The next part is plagiarism, delete it completely and instead express how you feel about what was written. Plagiarism has no excuse and you should try to be original. Just try to show us how these paragraphs made you feel, what you learned from them.
The last sentence is fine, it's a good way to end.
Overall good poem, but the plagiarism needs to be taken out. Otherwise, I get what you're trying to tell the reader.
English is a tough language for someone who's first is Japanese, but if you're writing in English you do need to learn the syntax and grammar, else your writing suffers.
The next part is plagiarism, delete it completely and instead express how you feel about what was written. Plagiarism has no excuse and you should try to be original. Just try to show us how these paragraphs made you feel, what you learned from them.
I changed it.
/forum/t-13380296/just-add-these-letters-please#post-