The trio were quiet as they tried to reach someone on the phone. No one answered, and the three groaned. The man tried
I would replace "they" with another mention of the one man you had described earlier. Perhaps, with a defining attribute to append to the man here.
yes, I will not lie to you sir, he is currently in jail. Yes, again. I understand your concern…
I have reservations with using the first line. While "will" is correct, we're to assume by the three-dot transition that they had a conversation, the father was in disbelief, and Aaron here is trying to calm him down or at least reiterate a point. I might change the auxiliary verb to "would" given that he's trying to convince the father that the things he said were not lies.
"Come on, Eddie, why didn't you high-five Rocco? That was mean! He was so happy." Shenck said.
A complete and total nitpick, but it might add to Shenck's character if he speaks in short bursts. You could nix everything and keep "That was mean." with a period instead of an exclamation mark. Its the type of short statement a longtime friend or colleague makes when they understand eachother. Like their well-acclimated to eachother's company, whereas Rocco's new and still getting into the business.
If that wasn't what you were going for in terms of Shenck's persona, then may no mind to this nitpick. Might be a misread on my part.
"Well… we should think it over the next few days. I know we fucked up last time and I went to prison… but we can make this one turn out differently." Shenck suggested.
Right here and nearer to the end, I think there could be more done for Shenck to argue his point. Only to be then cut-off by Eddie in this line:
Eddie shook his head and stared at the ground.
To add to siiwa's point, I think this would be a great point in time to flesh out Shenck's relationship with Eddie, indirectly. Because there exists a hypocrisy in Eddie's desire for both a malleable pawn and a guy who can speak up for once. Perhaps, color Shenck's dialogue with a hint of frustration at not having his voice being brought to the table in important discussions that technically effect his life more than Eddie's. Given it seems like Shenck was the fall-guy.
Narrative-wise, the characterizations are clear and expressive.
Shenck follows orders for Eddie. He's kind of like an enforcer for Eddie being "tall" and "towering" in comparison with Eddie's build.
Eddie is the ringleader. He's the shot-caller and while Eddie remains silent sitting on the coach, he makes the decisions flat-out with Bruce without even really needing to ask Eddie during the conversation. As its smart to act as the immediate face of the operation and decide later with your partner on the nitty-gritty details.
Rocco is the new guy, as indicated by his "sweat" all over his sweater and his need to state what he had done correctly to Eddie.
With slight tweaks made with the considerations I posted, I'd give this a solid 5 given it works as a great introduction one expects from a short-story. Not sure how it relates exactly to the Authority or the anomalous in the slightest, but I believe that'll be explained in latter segments.