Containment Protocols:
The current RPC-XXX-1 instance is allowed to have possession of/remain in contact with RPC-XXX within its containment cell, RPC-XXX-1 is to remain within a standard humanoid containment cell when not in testing with RPC-XXX, rations for an adult human are to be provided to it on a regular basis.
This is a run-on sentence, I recommend you change this to:
"The current RPC-XXX-1 instance is permitted confinement with RPC-XXX. When not undergoing testing, RPC-XXX-1 is to be secured in a standard humanoid containment cell. Rations for adult serving are to provided regularly to RPC-XXX-1."
RPC-XXX-1 must not be separated from RPC-XXX for longer than 24 hours, as it is possible for RPC-XXX-1 to sustain irreparable physical as well as mental damage if the two anomalies were kept apart for longer.
Condense this: "Separation between RPC-XXX-1 and RPC-XXX must not exceed 24 hours."
I cut it down significantly, primarily because you want to give a brief, but ambiguous outline to the reader in the containment protocols. Reserve the details for the description.
When testing/feeding RPC-XXX, the subject that RPC-XXX-1 is currently engaging must be sincere in attacking RPC-XXX-1, such that the subject wishes to genuinely harm it, This will allow for RPC-XXX to obtain the most nutritious meal possible and ensure its continued health.
Condense to: "During feeding/experimentation, the involved subject is to undergo a direct, genuine confrontation with RPC-XXX-1. This is to maximize RPC-XXX-1's nutritional intake and ensure continued vitality."
Also during testing, a tracking device will be placed onto the current RPC-XXX-1 instance, as well as RPC-XXX itself, so as to deter any attempts by the two to escape.
Condense to: "Tracking implementations are to be attached to RPC-XXX and RPC-XXX-1 to deter a potential containment breach."
As RPC-XXX is a type of passive parasitoid,17 upon the current RPC-XXX-1 instances death, one (1) CSD personnel, who fits with RPC-XXX's desirable physical attributes, is to be summoned from the general population of the current site that is holding RPC-XXX, wherein a remote drone will bring RPC-XXX to the subject, and instruct them to grip RPC-XXX.
Condense to: "Due to RPC-XXX's parasitoidal effects on RPC-XXX-1, a new instance is to be selected from a predetermined list of CSD personnel following the original instance's expiration. A remote drone is to acquire and provide RPC-XXX to said personnel."
Whenever it is possible, the current RPC-XXX-1 instance is to be instructed to relay information obtained from RPC-XXX to the Authority, in order to assess evidence pertaining to the origin, as well as the history, of RPC-XXX on Earth.
Condense to: "When possible, RPC-XXX-1 is to periodically relay information involving RPC-XXX's historical origins to Authority personnel for subsequent analysis."
Description:
Rockwell B-Scale, far tougher than most common metals on earth
Irrelevant detail, remove the sentence proceeding the comma and add a period following 'B-Scale.'
On the approximate "guard" portion of RPC-XXX, there is an optical organ most alike that of a human eye, with a circular sclera, iris, and pupil.
Condense your description of the human eye here, just say it bears resemblance to a human eye; no need to go into detail of its anatomy.
As previously stated, RPC-XXX is a type of parasitoid, whose main host is humans.
Alter this sentence: "RPC-XXX is a parasitoidal in nature, whose primary hosts are humans."
RPC-XXX has communicated that it prefers males with a body fat percentage below 13%, as well as a Body Mass Index rating that is at or as close to 21.7 as possible.
Alter: "RPC-XXX exhibits a preference with males exhibiting a body fat percentage below 13%, as well as a BMI of approximately 21.7."
RPC-XXX has communicated that it prefers males with a body fat percentage below 13%, as well as a Body Mass Index rating that is at or as close to 21.7 as possible.
I feel this is more appropriate as a footnote or an addendum; you break the pace of the article by immediately flipping from its anomalous properties back to its fluids' physical ones.
There is also a third cell-type documented which [DATA EXPUNGED].
This feels like a cheap expungement cop-out.
As this fluid enters the host's bloodstream, it will begin to eat away at the subject's blood, breaking down individual cells to create more of itself, eventually replacing the blood altogether, once this happens, the subject will have become an instance of RPC-XXX-1.
Condense this to: "Following entry into the bloodstream, RPC-XXX's substance produces a lytic effect on the subject's red and white blood cells, progressively eliminating said cells for reproduction. Eventually this substitutes the subject's RBC/WBC count, and the subject is designated an RPC-XXX-1 instance."
RPC-XXX-1 instances typically are unchanged from regular humans, remaining the same height and weight, however, RPC-XXX-1 instances are identifiable by their now purple-tinted skin, as well as their now black colored sclera.
Condense this to: "RPC-XXX-1 instances exhibit no major physical alterations, with the exception of a slight purple pigmentation of the skin and black pigmentation of the sclera."
Instances of RPC-XXX-1 will claim that RPC-XXX will speak to them like a voice within their head, and as instances of RPC-XXX-1 have demonstrated knowledge they would not have any way of knowing before coming into contact with RPC-XXX, this is to be accepted as fact.
Condense, again: "RPC-XXX-1 instance claim RPC-XXX communicates via telephathic means, as well as demonstrating previously-unknown knowledge prior to contacting RPC-XXX."
Once they do attack, RPC-XXX-1 will stab RPC-XXX into an attacker, after which, RPC-XXX will begin to "absorb" several base elements that make up a human being into itself.
Condense: "Following this, RPC-XXX-1 penetrates its attacker via RPC-XXX; RPC-XXX subsequently absorbs various metabolic nutrients from the aggressor."
How this is achieved is uncertain, however, all corpses of victims stabbed with RPC-XXX have shown to be devoid of carbon, calcium, potassium, and iron.
Condense: "Postmortem examinations indicate severe deficiencies of carbon solutions, calcium, potassium, and iron."
Overview: So, beyond the numerous run-on sentences, excessive punctuation, and overall cluttered paragraphs. This idea is your typical "symbiotic-esque sword that drains others." I didn't particularly find this idea outstanding or enticing, and I often got lost because of this excess of information. In short: there's more fluff than actual meat in this article, I recommend you size down your individual paragraphs and attempt to add, or revise, it anomalous properties.
Beyond this, the article is not ready. I highly recommend you take this back to the workbench and apply these corrections.
(account deleted)