Where is Thy Victory
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/deku-link
This one is inspired by a dream I had. Hope you enjoy.
Where is Thy Victory
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Summary:
Rough cut of a dream I had
Boy howdy time to do some crit.
MST Romeo-7 has been granted clearance to bypass prior authorization to utilize all resources save paramilitary as a means of containing RPC-XXX.
I would reword this, something like "MST Romeo-7 has been granted clearance to contain RPC-XXX by any means necessary, with the exception of paramilitary resources.
RPC-XXX refers to an anomalous event that occurs when an organized celebratory gathering involving more than 250 persons is held within the vicinity of former battle sites.
I would take the first two sentences of this paragraph and merge them with the notes, to better exemplify the exact conditions of an RPC-XXX scenario.
RPC-XXX-X's descriptions
This suggestion is up for discussion, but play around with moving the descriptions before and after the description of the anomalous event and see how it would better fit the narrative you're trying to write.
Current Known Ranges of Manifestation
Add examples of manifestations that lead to these conclusions, scenarios that formed when this RPC first appeared.
overall tone of the article
This article has potential, however it feels incomplete; it has the makings of a really, really terrifying uncontrollable RPC, however there are no specifics to it. I would play around with the arrangement of the paragraphs a bit, and add some example scenarios that have happened under the effects of this RPC.
Currently Known Causality and (Unnecessary to at least me) Ranges of Manifestation
RPC-XXX occurs when an organized celebratory gathering involving more than 250 persons is held within the vicinity of former battle sites. The exact distance of the battle site, age of the battle which took place, the number of casualties resulting from the battle, and the size and scope of the celebratory gathering all determine whether or not RPC-XXX will manifest, (Add ‘however’) but the exact thresholds for these requirements are not fully understood.
"Battle sites" are roughly defined as the locations of conflicts between two groups of human combatants. Sites of massacres, genocides, and mass executions do not appear to cause RPC-XXX to manifest,(Add a period after manifest and add ‘however’) but civilian casualties appear to play a role in the manifestation of RPC-XXX. Gatherings that are directly tied to a battle site such as funerals, vigils, and memorials do not cause RPC-XXX to manifest.
Distance Age of Battle Casualties Celebratory Gathering 0 - 3km 2290 BCE - 2000 CE Approx. 572 - 1,298,745 Approx. 250-100,000 attending (Unnecessary)
Conditions necessary for the manifestation of RPC-XXX must be maintained for approximately an hour before manifestation proper begins. A general timeline of manifestation has been provided below to those with proper clearance.
Manifestation Timeline
(Add a clearance check with correct clearance level)
Event Log:
Below is a log of known and recorded manifestations of RPC-XXX, provided for those with clearance:
Event Log-XXX
All other manifestation records are reserved by MST Romeo-9's records on a need to know basis.
(Add a clearance check with correct clearance level)
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