you get criticism
Blue = Grammar/Punctuation
Red = Wording/Clinical Tone
Yellow = Commentary
Containment Protocols: RPC-703 is to be kept in a frozen state at all times. The containment chamber must always remain at a temperature below -30°C. Any attempts to convert RPC-703 to a liquid state or gaseous state will result in immediate clearance level demotion. You haven't specified where RPC-703 is contained. At which site is it kept? It'd be a shame for a researcher to read the article and then go "wait which site is it at".
Description: RPC-703 is a bottle of Sprite Zero. Every 24 hours, it will undergo a "zero state" where in which any physical attribute that can be measured or determined will be become exactly 0. This effect ranges from zero temperature, zero mass, zero gravity, etc.. Remove the second period The zero state however, can be altered by environmental factors, such as room temperature increasing the temperature of RPC-703.
RPC-703 despite being impossible to destroy by non-anomalous means and outside forces, may be destroyed by certain zero states, however, Remove comma it will reappear after 24 hours, although it will have no anomalous properties until the next 24 hours after initial reappearance. RPC-703 has also shown to always contain 20 fl oz We use metric here, so replace this with "0.6 litres". of Sprite Zero.
Multiple different states of zero You previously referred to zero in the numerical form, as "0". Try to have consistency. have been documented, however newer states of zero are still observed. The states that RPC-703 cycles through do not seem to be in order. Non-anomalous freezing has proven to be able to pause the cycle.
RPC: 703 Why is this here? We already know we're reading RPC-703, so this just seems irrelevant.
Zero State Type: 0°C / 32°F Like I said before, we only use metric here. (Testing chamber temperature was 0°C)
Zero State Type: 0°F / -17.7°C (Testing chamber temperature was 0°F / -17.7°C) You previously put Celsius before Farenheit, and didn't even put Farenheit in the parentheses. Have consistency!
Results: RPC-703 would float floated throughout the testing chamber.
Zero State Type: 0 weight What kind of weight are we talking about here? Grams? Kilograms?
Notes: RPC-703 still retained its weight, as it would appear appeared on a scale and required some effort to move.
Results: The height of RPC-703 would increase increased from 22.7 cm to 39.7 cm would become and became a two-dimensional object, possessing only length and height. The length of was not affected.
Zero State Type: 0 K (-459°F, -273°C) Like I said a few times before, we don't use imperial here.
Results: RPC-703 at a state of absolute zero temperature (which is anomalous in of itself) did not exhibit any apparent effects aside from freezing.
Results: Object would disappear RPC-703 disappeared / be was rendered unobservable due to existing within no timeline at all. Personnel stationed during the event claimed that RPC-703 never existed and that any documentations of RPC-703 were false. After reappearing, personnel acknowledged the existence of RPC-703 and were able to recall memories of it.
Data: RPC-703 had morphed into an indescribable shape and appearance. Photography of RPC-703 was impossible, as it would did not appear through optical equipment. Area The area around RPC-703 began to deviate from normal reality, gradually becoming more anomalous. Researchers began experiencing an indescribable feeling, only able to be described as "intense."
10 minutes later, the testing chamber of RPC-703 became severely damaged, and three researchers had become deceased by unknown means. Autopsy reports were inconclusive. Multiple researchers began leaving the testing chamber.
30 minutes later, RPC-703 broke containment. Social media posts regarding RPC-703 quickly surfaced within 10 minutes. Based on the location of each post, RPC-703 had simultaneously appeared in multiple countries. Destruction of infrastructure and multiple deaths ensued within 3 minutes of the breach.
This article had both good and bad qualities. The idea of it becoming zero in different measurements was very interesting, and I liked how you explored it. It being a bottle of Sprite Zero gave me a good chuckle as well.
As for the bad, there were loads of instances of inconsistent wording in this article. You switched from past tense to future tense a lot in the logs. Also, I don't understand why Experiment Log 703-13 was on an entirely different page. It breaks the flow of the article to have to go onto an entire different page to just access an incident log. Put it in a collapsible at the end of the article.
All in all, this is just average. I'm giving this 2 stars at the moment.
blabbo