Spooky and melancholic. Seeing the CSD's mental state wither away made me upset but also terrified in a way. Giving this 5/5
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It starts out a little rough but following the CSD's continually deteriorating mental state keeps me from giving it a +2.
Very similar to SCP-983, too.
EDIT: Sorry for my word choice. After taking another look I decided to change my rating to +4.
(account deleted)2/5. Weird sentence structure and an unnecessary interview that doesn't reveal more about the nature of the anomaly that wasn't expressed via the ending entry to the table of contents.
red strips around the eyes.
The beginning verb "wears" makes this a bit clunky. As in "It wears red strips around the eyes" if you removed the conjunctions. Switch out to "possesses"
real [REDACTED] skin. See: fig 1.1.
The image didn't elaborate on the [REDACTED] species or hint at it. I'm not a big fan of the redacted being placed here given its not hinted or build upon later on in the RPC.
after which its anomalous effects will display. The object will start banging its cymbals, walking in circles and chattering.
The problem with this is that the following sentence is what's expected of a cymbal monkey or animatronic doll. Its not really anomalous. Unless you meant it will activate regardless of a there being no electrical source or batteries?
only being able to communicate only by repeating any of its 35 pre-determined lines.
Too many "only" words in one sentence. Find another synonym.
Was any subject to maintain its focus or attention
The word "was" reads strangely as a starting word for a sentence. I suggest replacing it with "If".
Suggestion: Restructure this line to, "If any subject was to maintain…" or "If any subject maintained"
mental skills
Extremely vague as to whats meant here. The term "mental" can mean anything from losing the ability to think to losing the ability to control their bowels. Be specific.
Weird sentence structure
Fixed most of what you pointed out in the line-by-line.
and an unnecessary interview that doesn't reveal more about the nature of the anomaly that wasn't expressed via the ending entry to the table of contents.
i gotta say there is potential here in the horror of watching someone slowly slip away mentally, but this article doesn't have much of an effect on me. there are glimmers of a good piece in here; namely the eye floating in the guy's brain and the ending interview, but they are unfortunately overshadowed by the overwhelming amount of weird changes in tense and confusing phrasing ("where he quickly resumed its daily activities"), extremely poor clinical tone ("its now disgusting cell"), and a story structure that just repeats the same things over and over again. the best thing about this article is the title. +1
blabbo
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