RPC-725 “Ceramic Cats”
Made a new RPC. Will work on RPC-353 in the future. As of now, i’m working on this.
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/ceramic-cats
Any critique is accepted.
RPC-725 “Ceramic Cats”
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» Writing & Drafts / Archived Drafts
» RPC-725 “Ceramic Cats”
Summary:
The latest product by Amazing! Co.; live, ceramic cats.
Containment Protocols: Any instance of RPC-725 found in stores are to be retrieved by MST Romeo 7 (Suited Gentleman) and to be taken to Site-30 for disposal, with the recovered RPC-725-1 instances being placed in a 37-by-27 37m * 27m * Nm meter room containing toys and other structures designed for domesticated cats.
Remember that the RPC Authority normally works in 3 dimensions, meaning there should be a third measurement unless directly stated otherwise.
This room is to be cleaned and maintained biweekly, with food consisting of raw salmon being given thrice per day. As of writing, there are Currently 37 instances of RPC-725-1 In containment.(10 instances of 725-1A, 5 instances of 725-1B, 7 instances of 725-1C, 2 instances of 725-1D, 4 instances of 725-1E, and 9 instances of 725-1F.)
RPC-725 refers to an unknown number of large, beige-colored boxes with the tagline “Cerramic (sic) Cats” emblazoned on the front of RPC-725 instances. The cover of RPC-725 instances also display several cartoon depictions of Felis catus (Common house cat) in bright coloring, indicating that RPC-725 is intended for children.
Scientific names go after the common name, in parentheses with italics. Replace with "common house cats (Felis Catus) ". Besides that, you later mention in the addendum that instances of RPC-XXX-1A are identical in appearance to calico cats. For clarification, I recommend simply saying they are depictions of domesticated felines.
Instances of RPC-725 are have been found in several stores and retail businesses in North America, Europe and Australia. The GOI known to the Authority as “Amazing! Co.” has been suspected in the creation of RPC-725, as their logo is found on the cover of RPC-725. Despite these qualities, RPC-725 instances are nonanomalous.
RPC-725-1 instances have never shown any signs of aggression, even towards
It cuts off at that part. Remember to read your work yourself to poke out obvious mistakes.
RPC-725-1 instances appear to have a metabolism possess traits of metabolism, and will consume food accustomed to felines via tilting downwards, opening its mouth-like cavity, and consuming the food via the mouth. Despite this, RPC-725-1 instances do not excrete waste, do not reproduce and do not need water. RPC-725-1 instances also do not need to sleep, being significantly more active during night hours.
It is unknown how RPC-725-1 instances was are created.
Fixed! Thanks for the crit!
Huh. That's actually kind of cute. It seems like someone will always make a feline anomaly.
Containment Protocols
I can suggest stores to circulation. Additionally, dash for Romeo-7. As for the containment room dimensions, that seems awfully specific for no particular reason. The description does not seem to indicate that they are territorial or aggressive, or that they require a certain amount of room to remain benign. Specifying salmon seems like a waste of resources as well; regular cat feed would not work? As for the designations, I will get to them in the next point.
//Description: //
RPC-725 refers to two sets of components; RPC-725 and RPC-725-1.
I consider this an inappropriate classification as the boxes which you classify as RPC-XXX have no anomalous properties or are otherwise no import to the anomaly. I would instead specify RPC-XXX as referring to a collection of commercially sold anomalies. Furthermore, your current classification system is too vague for proper inventory; a group of anomalies such as these would normally be RPC-XXX-1, RPC-XXX-2, through to RPC-XXX-37 in this case.
The cover of RPC-725 instances also display several depictions of domesticated felines, indicating that RPC-725 is intended for children.
Wording. The top sides of RPC-XXX containers depict various examples of cats (Felis catus). This only indicates a cat-related product, maybe a domestic one, with no reason to believe this to be a juvenile-targeting product. Maybe mention art being cartoony, or various labels and product descriptions indicating as such if you want to get the message across.
The GOI known to the Authority as “Amazing! Co.” has been suspected in the creation of RPC-725, as their logo is found on the cover of RPC-725.
Simply state that the boxes depict Amazing! Co. logo, since that alone will hint at the reader that those guys are behind these. Going off of the previous point as well, Amazing! Co. often rip-off other brands, so you could add that in.
Instances of RPC-725-1 are egg-shaped, and are flat at the base of their bodies.
A technical term for an 3D oval object is an ovoid.
RPC-725-1 instances usually weigh 5 grams and measure 32 centimeters in length, and have been recorded in 6 fur patterns designated from 1A to 1F (See addendum 1).
If they usually weight/measure that much, indicate what range of measurements has been encountered. Additionally, I would recommend changing 1A-1F to simply A-F, as well as not giving the patterns a full RPC number; after all, it is merely a cosmetic distinction and not a group of anomalous objects. Additionally, capitalize addendum.
The material composing RPC-725-1 has been identified as ceramic, and has been shown to be rather resistant to external damage.
They've found to be resistant? No mention of any damage having been sustained by the anomalous objects elsewhere. Wonder how they know that. Might be just nitpicking here though.
RPC-725-1 instances appear to possess traits of metabolism, and will consume food accustomed to felines via tilting downwards, opening its mouth-like cavity, and consuming the food via the mouth.
Wording. RPC-725 instances appear to experience or mimic hunger and will consume food edible to felines by way of the painted mouth, the anomaly's only moving part. Also, did they never think to try and look inside the cats that way? Seems like an oversight, if there is an opportunity to look into the shell.
RPC-725-1 instances also do not need to sleep, being significantly more active during night hours.
do not require rest and display nocturnal behaviours.
The addendum's biggest critique is the categorizing system; it would be better to simply state them as 'Pattern A, Pattern B' etcetera. Keep the numbers for more important elements.
Overall, this reminds me of the eye pods a little, though these things seem a lot more crude in make, which does fit the Amazing! Co.'s style quite well. There are small things that could be improved here and there, and what I think the biggest thing this article lack is some form of 'oomph'. There is no testing log for how the cats react to different situations, or if they get attached to their caretakers; effectively, little opportunity for us to get attached to the derpy little things besides a fairly brief mention of them being friendly and just eating a bit. It can be a comfy little article with some changes.
Good luck!
Fixed! I also wrote some more stuff going more into detail about the feeding of RPC-725. Thanks for the criticism!
Containment Protocols: Any instance instances of RPC-725 found in circulation are to be retrieved by MST Romeo-7 (Suited Gentleman) ("Suited Gentlemen") and to be taken to Site-30 Site-030 for disposal, with the recovered RPC-725-1 instances being placed in a large, spacious room containing toys and other structures designed for domesticated cats. This room is to be cleaned and maintained biweekly, with food consisting of regular cat feed being given thrice per day. As of writing, there are currently 37 instances of RPC-725-1 in containment. (10 instances of 725-1A, 5 instances of 725-1B, 7 instances of 725-1C, 2 instances of 725-1D, 4 instances of 725-1E, and 9 instances of 725-1F.)
RPC-725 are a previously-unknown, possibly human-made man-made species of inorganic, felid-like creatures that are found in numbers of three, contained inside the boxes mentioned above. Instances of RPC-725 are ovoid, and are flat at the base of their bodies. RPC-725 instances lack any visible limbs and have a visible tail, although it is found built on the ”belly” of RPC-725 instances. RPC-725 instances weigh 5 grams and measure 32 centimeters in length, and have been recorded in 6 fur patterns designated A to F (See Addendum 1). The surface of RPC-725 instances are covered in acrylic paint, and appear to imitate the fur coats of various cat breeds. The material composing RPC-725 has been identified as ceramic, and has been shown to be resistant to external damage, which was discovered after Dr. ███ accidentally dropped one from a height of 5 meters while recontaining an escaped instance of RPC-725. This section about the discovery of this anomalous property is kinda pointless, and it doesn't add anything to the article.
RPC-725 instances are animate and appear sentient to some degree, locomoting by “sliding” on flat surfaces. RPC-725 instances are also able to travel up and down slopes, although they do with some degree of difficulty. RPC-725 exhibit behavior common akin to that with of common house cats, although RPC-725 instances have been observed to be significantly more friendly and playful towards human beings and other, nonanomalous non-anomalous house cats. RPC-725 instances have never shown any signs of aggression.
RPC-725 instances appear to experience or mimic hunger and will consume food edible to felines by way of the painted mouth, the anomaly's only moving part. Despite this, RPC-725 instances do not excrete waste, do not reproduce and do not need water. RPC-725 instances do not require rest and display nocturnal behaviours. X-rays have shown that the insides of RPC-725 are hollow, and that the food consumed simply “vanishes” as soon as it reaches the inside of RPC-725. It is currently unknown where food consumed by RPC-725 are is displaced.
Your clinical tone and grammar is mostly good, so I can commend you for that. I also liked the imagery of RPC-725 instances sliding around.
My main problem with this article is how bland it is. It's just some ceramic cats that act like cats. It also seems like Amazing! Co. was just shoehorned in, as it doesn't serve any purpose in the article other than an origin that really isn't even much of an origin.
This article just doesn't do much, and it's really bland and uninteresting. You should really expand on it more.
oh yeah yeah
Fixed the grammar mistakes! Will expand on it soon. Thanks for the crit!
/forum/t-12789041/rpc-725-ceramic-cats#post-
