Thanks to JimmyBoyHaha for the crit
RPC-510 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-510.
The first paragraph of the description is explained in a clunky fashion. What I mean by that is you followed the clinical format correctly, but in the process you made your sentences very stiff and awkward. Using simple sentences less might help with that.
The main anomalous effect itself though is cool, I like it.
(account deleted)Though I like your article's idea,some incoherent description and unnecessary setences really waste such a brilliant idea.
Allons-y!
The idea is really freaky. The execution is great! The final document is the one part that bothers me, because it sounds like it's trying too hard to be impressive. Anomalies that "recreate human society" are, ironically, unoriginal and almost done to death. It would take more than this to make it interesting.
I hate to dock points for a reason like that, but it's a 4/5 from me.
6 meter by 6 meter room
5 meter by 5 meter rooms
Two dimensional measurements?
However this raises more questions than answers
Informal phrase that feels out of place.
I really like it, idea was cool and the clinical tone was executed well. However, a bit of polish in the description would go a long way. Maybe try this; read it aloud to someone or to yourself. If you struggle at any point in understanding the context, no matter how minor, spend a minute thinking about revisions.
P.S, The note at the end was rather unnecessary. Personally, I could see the twist before reaching the end, so the conformation just stripped the article of mystery.
All in all, 4/5, nice read.
/forum/t-12597346/rpc-510#post-