CSD-2543 walks through the door and ceases to exist
Instead of "ceases to exist" use something describing that communication is lost. There's no way that they would know that he stopped existing. Same for the rest of the article when the same term is used.
The squad fires on RPC-680-B. All of these shots are fired into Agent Faemore's heart, causing the squad to stop firing upon noticing.
The squad would be better than this. I'm not sure if I misunderstand what is happening here, but if it's friendly fire there would be no way that they all hit his heart.
I like the quotes from -B, especially RENDER UNTO CAESAR!!!