critique: http://www.rpc-wiki.net/forum/t-10189127/christmas-reupload#post-4141724
this is a reupload of http://www.rpc-wiki.net/contest:winterentrymoistbread
RPC-635 / Discussion
Forum
» Hidden / Per page discussions
» RPC-635
This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-635.
After hearing "Mister McMazing Snow-Miser" at 50% volume I think I've made my verdict. 3/5 Honestly this one would've been a better joke RPC but as a serious one the concept is just a little to ridiculous for me to give a higher rating.
The music in this is great. I would legitimately listen to this on a regular basis. It reminds me somewhat of dubstep but with Christmas overlays.
(account deleted)Customers who buy RPC-635 say that they feel an urge to do so, only by the strange names on the cover of the album. This has been confirmed not to be anomalous, just a strange coincidence.
I'm sorry they "say"? Not "said"? The secondary fragment is really off in terms of clinical tone.
What has been confirmed to not be anomalous? I know your intention is to say the impulse is not anomalous, but the fragment proceeding this points to the cover of the album.
I would suggest touching upon this article in terms of what qualifies as past-tense and the weirdly worded ending here.
3/5. Shorten the song samples as RPC/SCP documentation are essentially abbreviations on complete works. It's not necessary to the final product for someone to listen to the entire song sample to get to the ending of the article. Not only this, cover lyrics in transcripts.
With changes, it would be a 4/5 as I like simplistic items like this.
I feel like you should’ve listed out all the anomalous effects of each song or at least the 3 you’ve shown and just said the anomalous effects don’t work in mp3 format or some shit. Like it’s a bit silly that the anomalous effects of the focus of the article is never revealed.
I was at least expecting the songs to be remixed a little bit beyond simple volume boosts and backmasking but once again I am dissapointed. Snow-Meiser gave me a small chuckle though so 2/5 instead of 1
On the exterior, RPC-635 appears to be a normal box of non-anomalous 12-inch LP vinyl records
The cover art on RPC-635 (Cognitohazards censored)
Something doesn't quite add up here…
If a sapient entity is to listen to RPC-635, numerous anomalies may occur, each coinciding with a different song. If one is to listen to the song titled "The Color out of Space," for instance, the listener's vision will become a swirling mass of colors.
Clinical writing protip: Examples are for cowards. I appreciate it when an author has the courtesy to write a clear explanation, but wake me up when there's something that you need an example to explain.
It has been hypothesized that, if the album were to be played at a party, all attending members that hear RPC-635 in full will be either mortally wounded, or instantly terminated by the anomalies contained within the record.
This line just seems weird and pointless. RPC-034 doesn't need to explain that it would cause serious injury to the average person. Yes, it does tell you that someone was injured by it, but it doesn't come out and say "as RPC-034 can burn through human skin, it is extremely dangerous to use it as toothpaste" or something. That's obvious.
Of the existing six records, three are deemed too lethal for research purposes.
What do you mean "too lethal for research purposes"? They must have tried them at least once to come to this conclusion, so why isn't this elaborated on? I know the point of leaving out details is typically to make the reader wonder what the article isn't telling them, but this just seems lazy. Is sound-proofing technology too expensive for them or something?
A total of three songs have been deemed safe for human listening by Authority personnel, and have been converted to mp3 format for research purposes.
This makes the claim that three of the six songs are too dangerous to listen to a little dubious. These three are apparently safe enough for anyone reading the document to listen to. "The Color out of Space" only seems to have one effect, which is decidedly non-lethal. Supposedly there are six total songs, so that means that the maximum number of possibly lethal songs is two.
Audio File 635-A 'Jingle Bells-Verg'
Audio File 635-B 'Mister McMazing Snow-Miser'
Audio File 635-B 'Lä, Nyarlathosanta!'
This is a minor issue, but "Audio File 635-B" is listed twice under different names, which I don't think was intended.
This article seems like a rough draft to me, and its gimmick comes off as nothing more than a less interesting version of SCP-092. Not to mention that this isn't particularly anomalous; it's just a record full of cognitohazards. 1/5
(Edit: Changed rating, 2/5 is too lenient now in my opinion)
So after having my ears gangbanged my Mariah Carey and Luis Miguel Christmas songs for the past 2 months or so, these little songs are quite the relieving experience. With that being said, this article has incredible build up, the Containment Protocols and the Description really give the feeling that it's gonna be one of those that just creeps you into thinking ''Oh yeah, there's a few songs out there''.
That's as good as it gets. There is a great follow up to be done here but rather than continuing with the implied deadly articles and horrible cognitohazardous effects, the article de-escalates and decides to explore the less interesting, less appealing anomalies detailed. I also agree with the person above:
Clinical writing protip: Examples are for cowards.
I'll add on to this with a tip of my own: don't TELL me the anomaly is too lethal to be tested on, SHOW me some dead bodies!
3/5. Mediocre, and can certainly be improved upon!
/forum/t-12257550/rpc-635#post-