Nothing Lasts Forever...

Summary:

Nucorp ON THE MOOOOOON

Nothing Lasts Forever...

google_chrome 13 Jul 2019 04:17

Located here under the tab labeled: Nothing Lasts Forever…

Need general criticism and proofreading.

Re: Nothing Lasts Forever...

Von Pincier 14 Jul 2019 02:09

So if this is a manifestation of 955, and 955 is a manifestation of 956… is the moon now vaporwave?

Some thoughts:

• "Kepler Effect"; no, it's Kessler Syndrome. Also, if only indiividuals can enter the alternate moon, how would they know this?
• Related to the above; I think you need to better explain the conditions for access/show what a person can and cannot bring into the alternate moon.
• How does the Authority know that this alternate dimension is explicitly related to RPC-955?
• How would one determine the presence of human life on the earth's surface with handheld equipment from the surface of the Moon? Woudn't it be more reasonable to say there's no observable evidence of technologically advanced or industrialized human civilization?
• I think you need to dig into the degree of intelligence of these lunar machines before you establish that they have a society. How have they responded to humans showing up?
• The first nuCorp document is a little too much tell, not enough show.

Overall… I like that this is the "60s hard sci-fi universe" to 955's "dark cyberpunk universe" to 956's "weird Internet aesthetics universe" but I think it needs work.

Re: Nothing Lasts Forever...

moist bread 14 Jul 2019 02:10

we're like 3 levels deep at this point