Nice
I am still aching for that log of a poor bastard finding this thing and dying slowly from the radiation. But it's still an easy 4 star article, well done Tarb.
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Your first anomaly! You've taken the plunge, and good for you.
There are problems with this article and we will go over them.
1. A 10kt blast will have reduced the site to rubble under sand. This article is written as if it was a fallout shelter that remained intact- the point of the bomb is to destroy everything about this place. You can work around this. You can easily use 794-3 to build an existing euclidean memory of parts of this building. I think that would be very, very cool. It will also allow you to keep the rest of this article within it. If you do this then -3 should certainly be switched with -1.
2. The other -1 though -7 instances are extremely varied, enough to be completely their own anomalies. I suggest picking your favorites and giving us more information on them, instead of giving an extremely short blurb on all of them.
3. Fix the timeline to be in line with canon presented on the other articles - specifics on that below.
The section on considering a subproduct of RPC-794 should be in the description after you describe RPC-794. In the containment protocols you should state (see qualifications below) or something of the sort.
The explosion caused said anomalous materials to be contaminated due to exposure to high amounts of radiation, this contamination process caused the anomalous materials to merge and create RPC-794.
Mention that the extremely high heat helped to merge them as well. I'm don't think radiation itself would make them merge unless they were organic.
"and spreading all around the debris of the Research headquarters."
I'm not sure what this has to do with anything
RPC-794's Anomalous propeties manifest all around the fallout caused by the explosion of Site-014 and range from RPC-794-1 to RPC-794-7; two of RPC-794's anomalous effects are uncontainable and only manifest themselves in a 100m radius around RPC-794.
"All around" is extreamly vague. I highly suggest taking this sentance out entirely and specifying it in the individual descriptions.
The incident log should be below the individual descriptions. You just introduced the -1-7 to us, now describe them.
The times should be in AM, not PM. Please check the latest fail safe activation time, but last I saw it was 4:27. There was a mechanical failure alarm at aprox 4:22, but before that nothing. Gotta make it consistent with each other!!
"being able to accelerate to 30km/h when in sight of one."
Does that mean they can only run when they see people? I would change this to say "the entity is able to run at approximately 30km/h.
"Should anyone encounter an RPC-794-2 instance outside or inside Site-014,"
794-3 wouldn't be able to exist in the hallways of Site-014 because the building itself is gone. It was the direct target of a 10kt nuclear blast. HOWEVER - this anomaly being non euclidean space could make that floor exist in a ghost fuckery kind of way in the space that level 5 was. You can make it so there's a weird memorant of these places in the building, but it needs to be clear that the explorers know it shouldn't exist - all of this should be destroyed. You can make this all work, but you need to stay within the belief that this site itself is completely rubble under a giant sand crater. Look at the sedan crater for inspiration. There will also be bunkers to evacuate around the site and put to use.
You say that only class 4 containment personnel can see the protect, but you used the research logo.
Edit: The changes have been made! Very nice job on your first article tarb.
1- I was under the assumption that the explosion was of 1kt, must have read it wrong, and the idea of using 794-3 non-euclidean capabilities to "rebuild" the lower floors of site-014 (and maybe a little something from 794-7) is a pretty good idea and I'll work around it.
2-80% of the "Subanomalies" are as I stated, caused by the 4 RPC's which were being tested on at -5th floor, I will eventually fill all the RPC-XXX spots with RPC's I will made, to give more consistency to it and add more F L A V O U R.
3-Most of the stuff you say I have noted and will fix as soon as I can (not now cause I'm not mobile). The little error at the end was a mistake of mine while copyright ng the format.
(account deleted)tarb does a better job on his first article than most on their 10th
Even though class S HazMats suits don't exist. They should still be called level S to fit with standard HazMat nomenclature. In realty they would be designated level A+ Radiation or level A+ Fire. Vapor protection is a given if it is meant to exceed level A as it would have an air supplying respirator. For example the Military's JSLIST can be called level D+ because it dose not meet the requirements to be level C but offers droplet resistance during dry conditions.
Nero Toxins are not painless. It's one of the worst ways to go. All the muscles in ones body try to contract at the same time until ones lungs fail and one dies of exhaustion.
"Non-Nuclear weapon of mass destruction" So what a biological or chemical warfare agent ? WMD doesn't refer to the size of the explosive. A bomblet the size of a tennis ball can is still be a WMD and an explosive capable of leveling a sky scraper may not be.
With the edit function, you can compile multiple complaints under one post.
/forum/t-12090551/rpc-794#post-