Finally posted this bad boy!
It only took me 4.3333333… drafts, but I've finally finished my article and posted it to the mainlist. Not my first time doing so, but I'm pretty proud of this one.
RPC-667 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-667.
This is one where I actually like that you hid the "real" article. It has a purpose for there to be a false cover article when many that try to do this don't. I like that you revealed a lot of the redacted information in the second version and the colours showing what changed was appreciated as well. Thank you for the colours you changed it too, much easier on the eyes now.
Btw I fixed some minor formatting things to make the interviews easier to read.
Yeah I was actually able to combine my OG idea with the new one with the hidden files. Originally (like 4 years ago originally) this was an article about a standard gatorade cooler that turned people into Gatorade addicts, that had a lot of the features as the -3 entities. That was kinda boring, but I thought it woukd be a good idea to make the end an interview with the actual gatorade company that ends with them implying that they created tons of anomalous objects like the coolers. That idea was scrapped.
(account deleted)This would be far more effective without the compulsion and instead relying on organic spread.
Seconded. The article works just fine without it, and I think some quick patchworks could help the article.
By the way. I really like the article, but it suffers from quite a few writing issues. PM me for details, since I'm not sure if you're reading this comment.
While the execution of the fake/real files gimmick is significantly better than standard in this article, the general narrative and content is not very appealing in regards to originality. It's by no means bad, but it shines less when considered along the many articles that have similar themes and narrative.
(This review is adapted from thoughts I gave in the RPC Reading Club on June 10th.)
If it only activates when empty, can't they just keep it filled, a la RPC-006? That seems a lot simpler than cycling human sacrifices.
The gimmick is really funny, which is the reason I have a soft spot for this article, but it's too long-winded for its own good. That length seems to have come about a result of structural difficulties as opposed to an actual decision made for richer storytelling. This could probably work with half the runtime; this is a case where the false/true document setup is uncalled for. The funny scenes are the only payoff, and they aren't frequent enough to hold its entire weight.
The Halloween colors in the second half are a curious choice. Why does the article end with the same note from the middle? Shouldn't the drowning scene be the closer? Like I said, bizarre structural choices. I do like the drowning scene; it's a good bit of black comedy to spice things up for the ending.
All in all, cooler ideas than execution. It might warrant a do-over. I guess I don't have that much else to remark. 3/5
I'll agree with Double on the point that the anomaly could probably be filled with a pump, and add onto it that nothing really prevents the Authority from executing 667-3 instances, waiting for them to die off, or a third option so they can just disassemble or try to neutralize 667-3.
It's a fun gimmick, but I'd have to say that the "actual" article is weirdly so much better and more important than the fake part that it is weird to me why would something like this even need to be censored and classified? It seems like it is there for the sake of being there.
I am not sure whether Warden's statement that remains changed between the two versions is an attempt to make the statement feel more hollow and insincere, if so it works if not it might be better to shed a little bit more context on the character's feelings and relationship with the Director, similarly how the rest of that part of the article does for the anomaly.
Otherwise, it's good.
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