its a person that explodes when met with extreme emotions
so basically a normal teenager
crit here: http://www.rpc-wiki.net/forum/t-10986356/kawaii-korps-goi-anomaly
its a person that explodes when met with extreme emotions
so basically a normal teenager
crit here: http://www.rpc-wiki.net/forum/t-10986356/kawaii-korps-goi-anomaly
craft i was joking when i told you to make this a thing
Le epic +2 has arrived.
This is an average article. My biggest problem with it is the interrogation logs. The researcher in particular sounds pretty weird at times, but 266 also has some strange dialogue. By far the strangest sounding bits are where the two are going back and forth exchanging insults. Dialogue is tricky because what sounds good in your head usually doesn't sound good out loud. Just read it out loud a couple more times, please.
Also, change
RPC-266: ..You can't.
to
RPC-266: …You can't.
Finally, there's just little tidbits here and there throughout the description and CPs that don't look quite right. I'm nowhere near dedicated enough to list them all, but I'm sure there's some kind soul out there who is.
Tbh fifth, I'd try getting more critique for this one. It just feels like it's not ready yet.
Please say sike
The Einsatzgruppen was an anti-terrorist organization.
+2
Dialogue's bretty bad. Main anomaly sounds like an adult femoid using a "loli" voice with her vernacular going everywhere and breaking immersion.
RPC-266 shows intelligence comparable to that of a human child, showing very limited emotional development. This is assumed to be caused by RPC-266's lack of any social development throughout their lifespan, as they have never been outside of a contained environment, in Authority custody or otherwise.
yet.
RPC-266: Yes, it was. You're very observant, doctor.
RPC-266: You're not very professional for a doctor, are you?
Researcher was worse.
With the addition of there being no addendum or sentence in the beginning explicitly saying what language they were utilizing for the interview.
Also, the researcher doesn't even sound like a child psychologist. He keeps meandering the entire conversation
At no point did I feel as if he was actually leading or prompting the anomaly into pertinent questions.
Little quirky comments like
Dr. Richster: Yes, what of it?
Dr. Richster: I'm here to interview you, yes.
Are highly unnecessary and don't lead or weave into anything which would give us answers on the anomaly's experience, methods of production by the KK, other anomalous individuals she was stationed with, etc.
It feels like her confession of abuse at the end was purely accidental.
Because.
Dr. Richster: It's a notable possibility that you will combust if met with an extreme emotional reaction.
RPC-266: So like those people that kicked me out of the other place.
In this narrative sequence, RPC-266 is still leading the conversation. Her opening up seemed almost arbitrary, sort of extremely specific to the story needing a conclusion in the latter log rather than this conversation arriving here naturally.
I would highly contest that reading up on actual assault cases and testimony provided would aid tremendously with these sorts of stories. Otherwise, it comes off as making taboo content with no knowledge on the topic outside of surface-level gleanings.
PLEASE say sike
The Einsatzgruppen was an anti-terrorist organization.
This article really hasn't held up well, and not because it's a KK entry. Nothing about it feels professional. In many places, the language comes across as unscientific. Both the casual nature of the interviews and the containment protocols directly contradict the assertion that the anomaly is dangerous (they're allegedly uncooperative with the Authority and need to be guarded at all times, but restrictions can be relaxed for "good behavior"?) Needs a lot of work.
1 star.
The twist is rape.
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