Excellent work with this one. It's well written and is very interesting and unnerving. However, there are some formatting and grammatical issues, but with the quality of the article itself, I can look over those things. 5
Thank you, however most wont see it that way
I suggest that you reword this "(similar to being on bath salts)" as it is not a clinical description, nor would they refer to the drug Synthetic cathinone as bath salts. Describe the other symptoms instead.
"I had to * some kids alright?" *kill?
The concept itself can be good, though I think the article still needs some expansion and work on the clinical level in the description. I named it on the main series page as that had not yet been done, but feel free to change that at any time.
I like the concept but there are a few grammar problems you need to take care of. I’d also like a second person to be interviewed, as the differences in how characters interpret an event can make an article that much better.
3.5 for now, will change if this is improved.
Edit: shit replied to the wrong thing
This one is alright. The idea isn't very unique but the execution is pretty well done, and this could be a great article with some improvements.
First off, I'd say the designations could use a little work. Your anomaly is the fungus, so why isn't it just RPC-757? People affected by it would then be called RPC-757-1. That seems more fitting for the traditional naming scheme.
The whole first paragraph of the description is also a bit of a mess. While I can respect your attempt to use more scientific language, I think saying the anomaly affects anything "with brain matter" actually achieves the opposite effect. Maybe using a phrase like "any and all organisms that possess a central nervous system" could work better? I also think that listing the effects of inhaling the spores and touching the mushrooms first and then saying that these effects manifest after 20 seconds would improve the readability of this paragraph by a lot.
I really like the interview logs, though I think the second one could be a bit longer. Maybe that's just my preference. I also think maybe the researcher is a bit too sympathetic in this case?
Last and worst, this article is plagued with spelling errors. You should really reread it, or maybe get someone to correct it:
[…] extreme pupil dilutions, […]
[…] the kids would bite down on the adults arms, […]
And yet, you did not undergo psychiatric car after that incident.
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Thanks! Been awhile since I’ve been on this site, but I’ve fixed most of the errors.
Crit thread is here http://www.rpc-wiki.net/forum/t-10430791/rpc-717