RPC-364
by popular popular popular popular demand
rev. 2 is being gay it's straight now
crit: http://www.rpc-wiki.net/forum/t-10106398/winter-contests-entry
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page RPC-364.
Like I said on the original 5 stars easily one of the top 3 articles on the site. 5 stars
God I love this article. +5 stars my friend. Good Job.
This article evokes a sense of wistfulness in me, and brings to mind an amazing setting for a videogame. Great article!
I wholeheartedly agree, this is a damn killer article. I recommend it and it definetly deserves all of it's praise. It's very well made, and I am actively looking forward any more contributions by yourself to the Authority. 4 stars (see Collapsible bellow)
PAGE: RPC-364
SECTION: Addendum 364.1: Summarized Test Logs with RPC-364 Wood SamplesI understand that the article was revised and remade several times but the Head Researcher was very improfessional when writting his notes. Some of his quirky comments just don't seem to fit into the professional enviroment that the Authority works around (considering how we as writters handle clinical tone in such a high pedestal), much more so when he is the Head Researcher and not your average joe on Site 006. Test n 237 is irrelevant because he notes nothing regarding the how the anomaly focusses on wood down to it's molecular structure. And it makes the following test less funny, but fun is subjective in any case.
Also, this is slightly more personal, may I suggest adding italics instead of ''quotation marks''?
PAGE: RPC-346 rev. 2
SECTION: The header noticeWhy is it white?
No seriously, why? Not that it looks bad, but, I'm just confused is all
PAGE: Request
SECTION: My son is a junior agentWhy would the Authority employ a 15 year old (a blind 15 year old) as a junior agent? Now, it may be due to nepotism because this guy clearly loved his son, but the Head Researcher upon reading this completely dismisses the aforementioned and goes Hey…that's pretty good! instead of…you know…
So now we got very subtly implied nepotism which is quite common in various companies, and the Authority isn't always perfect. But this could have much more impact if it was adressed on the closing statement
PAGE: RPC-364 rev. 4
SECTION: Addendum 364.6: Letter from Head Researcher to Installation-016 StaffThis is kind of redundant considering that we already know by the newly implemented containment protocols that this anomaly is absolutely fucking livid. It even states so within the first sections: The observation tower has been torn down. All Authority assets and personnel are to fall back to Installation-016. Any personnel who stay behind are to be deemed lost. To me it seems like his guy is only in the story to be an asshole.
His notes on the previous page (BETA-RED, NOW) did hype me up at first, but now it falls into the same redundancy I felt with the aforementioned.
PAGE: Duhkha (I don't like googling the meaning of the titles but that's just me though.)
SECTION: RPC-364-1 had been unable to locate for two winters before this message was received by Installation-016.Some minor incoherencies by the Head Researcher. RPC-364-1 had been unable to locate has not been located for two winters years before this message was received by Installation-016.
PAGE: RPC-364 rev. 5
SECTION: 1: [ It is assumed that the name of the Authority slips from RPC-364-1’s mind. ], 2: [ RPC-364-1 begins to beg. ], 3: Head Researcher's behaviour during all of this1: What intarnation does that mean in an audio log? If the girl was aware by now that this Authority has been watching her, then what even…
2: I used the Stones to destroy the Stones. Again, why state this if it's already happening?
3: This guy has zero chill. Mind you, he blames RPC-364-1 for killing a child who could only be on the area under HIS supervision. Although…he is correct!
PAGE: RPC-364 rev. 6
SECTION: The tenets of the RPC Authority are “Research, Protection, Containment” for a reason., and I have notified the Global Directors about this and have asked Amnestics to do the job Saicho forgot to doA lot of things that should've been stated in the previous page are suddenly revealed which makes HR look like the biggest asshole in the entire Authority. One thing I do not understand is why you needed to retire him entirely when you could've just reprimmended him prior and after the Neutralization. And if you did because of nepotism, why don't you state so? What is wrong with you? Who hurt you, society?
Why is there any need to notify the Global Directors of all people? A Level 3 Researcher has nothing on a Level 4 Head Researcher, why are you like this? Why is he such a drama queen?
These are mostly nitpicks mind you, I enjoyed the article but it definetly has its flaws. However, this also means it can be improved upon further, so I'm giving it a 4 star!
It's interesting to me that your complaints about the head researcher are a lot of what made this story work for me. Sure, it could be toned down a bit, but having him there to provide the "Authority Approved" point of view was necessary, I think, to keep the narrative from drifting too hard into fanfic territory.
Sure, he comes off as a jerk more than once, but is it really unjustified? He is well aware that the Authority has to deal with threats to mankind (or worse) on a daily basis - threats that will sometimes seem harmless or sympathetic. Saving a 15-year-old girl might be good by a normal person's standards, but for the Authority it's a Risk, with a capital R. Not only that, but one that even in a best case scenario deprives them of a chance to try to understand the mechanism behind 364-1's powers and confinement - information that could have been of use to the Authority in the future. The character could be written better to make his motives clearer, but I think he's essential in grounding the story, and putting it in its proper tone and context.
This article's iterations are made just by fragments pages now - should it be done by Listpages and offset?
Thanks.
Thanks!
/forum/t-10310737/rpc-364#post-