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This is the second place entry for the RPC-365 contest.
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(account deleted)Tone, grammar, and pacing need a lot of work. There are such simple typoes that it strikes me as having been hastily created.
Well it still was better than your entry, sorry.
InsectMeNot
I agree with Moen that this feels a little rushed. Not necessarily a bad core concept or story idea, it just needs a lot of expanding.
It's short but alright.
You need to elaborate on why PoI-293 could not be apprehended; did she disappear down a trap door? Did she teleport out of the place with magic? Or is it because she cannot be seized as she has political/wealthy connections that would result in legal/bureaucratic trouble for the Authority if they so much as laid a hand on her?
It's sweet and sentimental in a way that resonated with me. 5/5
I wanted to talk a little more about this article, because "it hit my sweet spot" is hardly a review.
Ash's letter is sentence after sentence of emotional rawness that must've come from either the lived experience of the author or a damned good job pretending, and yet it lacks a single hint of self-indulgence or anything but reverence for the world of its setting. For such a short article, it excels in making the world feel big, the four "recovery" sentences a peephole into illustrious detail put plainly through short description.
It's literary magic, and it never fails to give me joy for the wonderful realm of possibilities this creative outlet has shown us. There have been objectively better articles written with twenty times the work, but on some level, this might always be my favorite.
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