RPC-694 is a 10.6m-long cadaver

RPC-694 beaches in anomalously manifests itself on shores in human populated areas on the Pacific ocean coastline. Shortly after manifestaion manifestation, it will produce a ~<130db wail for 6-21 seconds. This has the memetic property to lure people to its immediate location.

i don't see how this is memetic? personally if i was minding my own business and suddenly heard a whale call as loud as a jet engine i'd want to go check out where it's coming from.
and like icfd said, it says it manifests around pacific ocean coastlines but the image caption contradicts it

Affected individuals will gather around RPC-694 and auscultate it. They would later express the source sound as dampened yet euphonic from within RPC-694, prompting discussion on how to further enhance it, and conclusively who is most suited to enter RPC-694.

worded a little weirdly, and i think you could afford to add more clarification to this part. are you talking about a new sound it's making? how can people "later" express what the sound is like if they get killed?

After 2-3 minutes, RPC-694 proceeds to swell till until it violently bursts, instantly killing terminating everyone within a 2 meter range.

this may be more of a personal taste thing but in clinical descriptions like this it reads a little strangely for it to say someone is KILLED or they DIED

The video ends with the anomaly bloating till until it bursts

On 03/07/2014 at 11:40

Subject was outfitted with one (1):

odd to suddenly start doing the word + integer thing here

CSD-34791 proceeds on with doing so

Its It's been so long since we set ourselves out to shore

Why wouldn't I? And it's funny hearing you swear once a month. After all, I did help you overcome this.

this scene with the passerby does have some expository dialogue, and that last sentence just feels unnatural

(Gulp) 40 Milli Sv per hour.

the cartoony gulp is a bit much lol

Stand-by <— remove hyphen and watch out for any odd behavior.

Damn waste of time. Jeremy, transcript transcribe the report and email it to me.

I was quick to judge, we may get something out of this afterall after all.

Screw it, I'm swimming this one direction this cloud's moving; I'm not about to lay down and drown.

frowned when i read this dialogue

CSD-34791: RAAAGH!

please don't write like this,,,,,, say (Yells triumphantly) or something

CSD-34791 starts ascending back up

This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can not be fucking happening!

i giggled when i read this, and i'm guessing that's probably not the feeling you're trying to evoke

Shortly after leaving his post, Commander Dan N. Coleman was apprehended and screened for RPC-694 affliction, who was then quarantined for 3 days till until the effect eventually wore off. Video analysis by Senior Researcher Vernon Mort postulates the blue flash was caused by Cherenkov radiation, and that footage shown on 05/07/14 at 02:12 is not that of sea sand, but of bone. how could one be able to tell?

On 30/07/2014 at 10:36

The source of which was RPC-694, shortly beaching onto Bagnell Ferry's shores after manifesting on a Bagnell Ferry shore. The assigned protectorate team was quick to disperse civilians away from the anomaly

On 12/02/2015 at Site-095, reaserchers researchers were discussing the feasibility of transferring RPC-694 to this site, and the worrying prospect of it luring ships towards the transpoting ship transporting vessel.

As this unfolded, an instance of RPC-207 eavesdropping this exhange exchange from its nearby containment tank expressed a need to inform the Authority about the anomaly.

It's only after a week in there did he talk to us, scarcely.

They hung him in this room with anchor hooks and had its his maw wide open.

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a problem i have with this article is that a good amount of the dialogue is needlessly expository. like i mentioned before, the couple at the start of the exploration log talk strangely, and additionally while i get what you were going for with the guy's personality there are a number of moments where the CSD just talks too much, his language gets a tad flowery and he and sounds like an anime hero. i know this is advice probably everyone has gotten at one point, but try reading lines out loud to see if they sound natural. HOWEVER i will say the flowery language does work very well for the RPC-207 instance's character, it's like a pirate recounting a tale from his past

i do think the exploration log, while having some good imagery, was the weakest part of this article. the CSD's dialogue, unlike the 207 instance, was not very fun to read and the whole structure felt quite generic.

i gotta commend this article for using a couple words i hadn't heard of before, like auscultate and scudding. thank u for adding to my vocabulary <3

this definitely comes naturally from you being an artist, but the imagery in this article is really strong and i am a sucker for strong imagery. the idea of a bunch of people cheering as they shove someone into the mouth of a dead whale, a guy throwing up underwater and the vomit following the ocean's current, all the stuff described in the final interview, it's great.

speaking of, the strongest part of this piece in my eyes is the RPC-207 interview. i'm not usually one for anomaly crosslinks but it works well here, though i think it'd be good for you to at least add a footnote giving a short rundown of what 207 is, i can imagine someone reading this for the first time and having no clue what's going on. ANYWAY yeah the interview is really good, i like the descriptions of the cult's activities, and i adore this characterisation of them as these strange people who seemingly want to help and really do think what they're doing is right but the very things they worship think they're insane. (i'll say this article does a much better job of characterising 207 than the original article)

i'd say all in all you've done a good job with this, and it's more memorable than most cetace's kin articles i've read. i probably didn't catch everything so i suggest maybe getting one or two more people to look at this before posting.

Those found not wearing them…

If any personnel are caught…

Something about these phrases feel un-clinical to me.

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RPC-694 is a 10.6m cadaver of a male Megaptera novaeangliae in its second stage of decomposition, estimated to be 12 years old at the time of death.

I think you can change around some of the words here. Try:

RPC-694 is the cadaver of a male Megaptera novaeangliae, estimated to be 12 years old at the time of death. It is in the second stage of decomposition…

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RPC-694 beaches in populated areas on the Pacific ocean coastline. It will produce a ~<130db wail shortly upon manifestation, anomalously luring people to its location. This effect has been documented to reach up to a radius of 1.8km. If less than 10 people are in its proximity within 4 hours, it will redo its call.

This whole paragraph could use some work. Try:

RPC-694 usually manifests near large gatherings of humans. Upon manifestation, it produces a wail capable of reaching over 130 db in amplitude. Any individual who hears RPC-694's call will begin to approach its location. If less than 10 individuals are within [amount] m of RPC-694 after 4 hours, it will produce the wail again.

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Gatherings then take place to auscultate the entity.

Try:

Affected individuals will gather around RPC-694 and auscultate it.

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Affected individuals express the source sound as dampened and euphonic from within RPC-694, prompting discussion on how to further enhance it, conclusively on who is most suited to enter RPC-694.

Weird sentence. I think you could word it better.

They will then engage in discussion on how to further enhance the sounds within RPC-694, invariably agreeing that one of them must enter RPC-694 through its mouth.

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After a subject enters the entity,

After 2-3 minutes pass,

I think the first "After" here could be changed to:

Once a subject has entered RPC-694,

I think it would help the paragraph flow better.

Also delete "pass" in the second "After".

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RPC-694 proceeds to swell up…

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Confirmed cities where RPC-694 manifested before containment include:

(The italics will hereafter mean to include a word)

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During a recreational expedition…

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Multiple images and videos were shared on social media of the anomaly, with one live recording showing the founders picking up a happy acquaintance with a microphone attached to be inserted into its maw.

Try:

Multiple images and videos of the event were posted on social media, with one live stream showing a man enthusiastically agreeing to enter RPC-694's mouth.

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…a town in Los Osos was afflicted with affected by RPC-694.

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At Senior Researcher Jeremy Freeman's recommendation, and due to ignorance of the anomaly's volatile and unpredictable nature, a first contact test was conducted with one CSD personnel.

Doesn't flow well. Try:

At the recommendation of Senior Researcher Jeremy Freeman, a first contact test was conducted with one CSD personnel.

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Capitalize the first letter of Footnote 3.

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Subject was outfitted with— one (1)—:

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You don't need to state which ear he put the earpiece and earplug in.

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CSD-34791: RAAAGH!

I think you can just put:

(CSD-34791 screams)

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Fast-approaching towards Bagnell Ferry shores was RPC-694. Protectorate team were quick to disperse civilians from the anomaly but were not able to reach it before a person was inserted into RPC-694.

Un-clinical tone.

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The characters in Addendum-694-03 read like they have the same voice.

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"Do not let them desecrate my body, or I will have your hides."

"I will have your hides" is a weird thing to say. Maybe change that to simply "You will regret it."

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We named him after a martyr of the kin who defected and rescued some of us from their grasp.

This is a weird sentence. Maybe say "We named him after a man who defected from the others to save us. Alas, he is no longer with us."