Please never cook again. Or do, I can't stop you.

In addition, RPC-6969-J appears to have reality-bending properties, as whatever RPC-6969-J adds into the articles manifests within reality.

While technically two different words, the word ‘reality’ is repeated in this sentence. It could be rewritten slightly to change that. Repeated words in sentences tend to not flow as well.

Not until last month

Should be “not since last month”.

Honestly I expected there to be more SPaG things to comment on, but the article is so short and it already went through a round of edits, so there wasn’t much.

The joke was funnier to me 5 years ago. This isn’t an indictment on you or the article, I’m not saying I’m some enlightened intellectual who is simply above this humor. What I am saying is that there’s only so long you can pick apart an article and examine its grammar before the joke loses its comedy to you.

It’s a simple joke that doesn’t overstay its welcome, and that’s probably the strongest part of the article. With a lot of jokes it’s very tempting to drag out the bit well past its best by date, but this one doesn’t. It knows when the joke is over and there’s nothing more to be gained by adding more RPCs or more edits. The strongest part of the joke is probably other people’s reactions to this freakazoid, like the senior researcher. Other than that I struggle to find things to even talk about since I already reviewed it and am just beleaguering the same points.

The Authority database is to be monitored by a system that detects unauthorized changes to articles.

Try:

Authority monitoring systems are to detect any articles with unauthorized changes.

Site-█

Site nomenculture has 3 numericals, so add two more redactions. Check it's corrected in the interview log, too.

MST-Echo-621 "Kink-Shamers" are to must promptly report to RPC-6969-J's containment cell as soon as possible and revert said edits as soon as possible.

..and continues to make unauthorized edits to articles.

add paragraph break here, in which case:

These edits Edits by RPC-6969-J

RPC-6969-J proceeds to rip a furious, Earth-shattering brap. It stinks of eggs, onions, and beans beans and onions.

Personally feels like it labors the joke adding three descriptors in one line, even if in-character for Melvin.

Shortly after the live feed was cut, an explosion was reported at Site-█.

covered in biological tissue that was found to be genetically identical to RPC-6969-J. found to be an identical genetic match to RPC-6969-J

RPC-███

It's fine but I keep thinking if there is an RPC you can use here. Diabolical suggestion but RPC-265?