lol

I thought this was mostly delightful, which was shocking to me, because I usually begrudge articles that try to attain humorous characterization through jangly, all-caps dialogue that would be fittingly accompanied by an upbeat banjo. But. This one somehow did it well, the fumbling communication with the two almost talking over one another was smooth, and it made the exchange feel believable. It was all very very good until that is the part about the virgin blood, which pushed my eyes into the back of the head a bit too far.

I also think there is a bit too much exposition of the instances in the description, when this is primarily a piece that relies on action and characterization.

But all around, a +4 for me, happy I read this.

Frankly, this just sucks the fun out of the original. I won't claim that the original was great or even close, it was a rather flawed article that forced you to look past quite a few things to enjoy, but that last log gave it much more of a vision than this iteration has. They're just killer robots from outer space now.

Objectively speaking this is undeniably a more competently written version but it's also much more bland. The robots themselves have little personality aside from the obvious clunkyness of being aliens that don't know how to write English. They don't have the laconic speech of the original. They don't have the comical lack of care for humans. They don't have that implied "sure, man" personality. They're just killer robots and they hate us.

+2

However, as a rewrite of RPC-058, I feel that it not only fails to expand on the original article in a meaningful way, but also that it fails to capture the draw of that original article. Making the robots a solo faction completely misses what made them interesting in the first place. The robots themselves weren't the scary danger, they were just servants of this unnamed danger that is mentioned in the article.

The robots in the rewrite feel far simpler too. Yes, there is still the aspect of RPC tricking the robots into sparing earth, but the methods of doing so aren't mentioned and instead we get some vague threat they give which is hardly different from some GOI or any anomalous group. And the added inclusion and threat of Project Blue Book? Barely mentionable. if you write off their only reason for being in this story in one sentence, then why even have them in the story.

I'll give you this. Is this article better written than the original 058? Absolutely. Is the main anomaly of this article better explained in this article? Yes. However, the main element of intrigue is what's missing. Imagine somebody made a far more polished script of jurassic park, but had it set in a normal zoo. Is the story better presented? Yes! But the actual content is far less interesting. And for that, I believe this fails as a rewrite.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE: http://rpcauthority.wikidot.com/rpc-058-arc

THANKS TO: REBUT - ALMA - GIZZY - QUAL - PIERSON - RED

byeee