¶ The cobbled path directly surrounding RPC-616 is to be lifted and replaced with dense foliage spanning a radius of 40 feet, such that the structure is obscured to the casual observer.

In order to obscure RPC-616, the surrounding area and the path leading to it have been removed and replaced with dense foliage.

This is all we need to know.

¶ As it is theorized that RPC-616’s anomalous effects commence upon skin exposure to materials or airborne particulates from the building’s original structure, provisions minimizing possible human contact are to be made.

Potential contact with the structure and any airborne particulates must be minimized via PPE equipment and other gear at the discretion of site staff. Level A hazmat protection is required for any expedition into the structure for any purpose.

These are containment procedures, not a description. We don't need to mention the theory, just what needs to be done in response. Note the sentence I moved back.

¶ The outside of the house is to be encased in two even coatings of epoxy resin. The lower section of the house is to be sealed with concrete.

The structure is currently sealed in two even coatings of epoxy resin, with the lower floor encased in concrete. These must be regularly checked and repaired if necessary by site staff.

¶ The interior of the second floor will be left untouched, but accessible only from a 60mm double gasket aluminum door installed in the rear end of the building. Door pressure is not to exceed 3.3 m3/hm2 measured at 200 Pa. With the use of external exhausts, air pressure inside is to be kept at a level consistently 30 hPa lower than the surrounding air, which will typically range from 1013 hPa to 1006 hPa.

A 60mm double-gasket aluminum door installed in the rear end of the building accesses the second floor of the structure. Door pressure cannot exceed 3.3 m3/hm2. External exhausts must maintain an air pressure 30 hpa lower than the outside of the anomaly.

¶ All personnel entering for sample acquisition require standard protection level A hazmat protection. If any aberrant audio stimulus is heard, an evacuation is to be put immediately into effect. Additionally, covert security cameras are to be installed on structures adjacent to the premises.

Level A hazmat protection is required for any expedition into the structure for any purpose. Moved back. Any aberrant sound from the surrounding area or from within the anomaly requires an immediate evacuation order.

Why is the line about security cameras here? Do they only install those after an evacuation order? If not, move it back.

¶ RPC-616 is the designation given to a townhouse constructed in the *’Bahay Na Bato’* style located on the outskirts of Pila, Laguna. The building measures 76 feet wide, 65 feet tall, and 120 feet across. The structure consists of a santolwood upper story finished with a limewash primer (xalpaco), and topped with a steep hip roof. Roof corners on the north and south facades of the building are trapped with telamons resembling a monstrous monitor lizard, executed in the early Mannerist method.

RPC-616 is the designation given to a townhouse constructed in the ’Bahay Na Bato’ define this term, maybe in a footnote? those * there weren't doing anything and aren't needed style located on the outskirts of Pila, Laguna. The building measures 76 feet wide, 65 feet tall, and 120 feet across. we doing imperial? The structure consists of a sandalwood upper story finished with a limewash primer (xalpaco), and topped with a steep hip hip? elaborate here roof. Roof corners on the north and south facades of the building are trapped is trapped the word you meant to use here? tapped? trimmed? with telamons define resembling a monstrous monitor lizard, tell us about monitor lizards in a footnote executed in the early Mannerist method. AGAIN ASSUME THE READER KNOWS NOOOOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING :)

¶ Floral adornments of similar style can be found on the parapets and mahogany supporting beams of the structure. The base and perimeter walls are constructed with granite brickwork, featuring arches capped adjacently by pilasters. The house appears to have suffered significant damage, with a shifted foundation, chipped stucco and missing chunks of wood. The interior of the building is consistent with the conventions of architecture from its period, featuring wicker flooring and ornate furniture of rich mahogany.

i want choo to consider how relevant all of this info is to the reader and how much of it we need… like does this come up again? bc rn we are told in more vivid detail what the house is made of and looks like than the ACTUAL ANOMALY

but if this is meant to tie in to the effects of obsessing about the anomaly, implying that the writer is also affected, then lean into it more. rn its in a middle ground of irony where i cant tell if the redundancy is intentional.

¶ The specific vectors of RPC-616’s effect are not yet fully known, although several credible theories have been proposed. It can be said with relative certainty that the catalyst is human proximity and continued interaction with RPC-616. Designated RPC-616-A after this point, the person in question encounters a cascade of mental effects. Dopamine receptors in the subcortical and limbic brain regions become increasingly hyperactive.

¶ By a similar process, reward centers in the brain are rewired for increased domanergic sensitivity to information regarding RPC-616; perhaps more puzzlingly, oxytocin response is also positively affected. Obsessive thoughts about the townhouse ensue, causing the subject to devote large amounts of their waking hours towards either contemplation or study of RPC-616’s attributes.

¶ Designated RPC-616-A after this point, the person in question encounters a cascade of mental effects. Dopamine receptors in the subcortical and limbic brain regions become increasingly hyperactive.

¶ The vectors of RPC-616’s effect are not yet understood, although theories propose that the catalyst of the anomaly is human proximity and continued interaction with RPC-616.

¶ By a similar process, reward centers in the brain are rewired for increased domanergic not a word sensitivity to information regarding RPC-616; perhaps more puzzlingly, oxytocin response is also positively affected. Obsessive thoughts about the townhouse ensue, causing the subject to devote large amounts of their waking hours towards either contemplation or study of RPC-616’s attributes.

but here's how i'd rewrite it

¶ RPC-616's anomalous effect is the mental and biological mutation of any human subject (hereafter referred to as RPC-616-A instances) after continued proximity and contact with RPC-616. Increased hyperactivity within the dopamine receptors within the subcortical and limbic sections of the brain induces a reward-based obsession with the acquisition of information regarding RPC-616, as the affected regions of the brain release dopamine and, curiously, oxytocin in response.

¶ Inevitably, this results in an obsession with the study and contemplation of the attributes of RPC-616, namely the house itself and the surrounding area.

¶ The most likely attribution of contact for RPC-616 is either through airborne particulate, direct skin contact with materials from RPC-616, or olfactory contact. There may also be a visual aspect to the influence of RPC-616, but if such is extant it is likely secondary in nature.

RPC-616 contact is usually induced via exposure to airborne particulates originating from the structure and through skin contact with the anomaly. Meme-based infection via visual observation has been theorized but not confirmed.

¶ The Authority’s attention was initially caught in 2019 by a growing number of incidents involving residents experiencing psychotic breaks in the area surrounding Manila. Authority involvement was tentative, as a number of factors could come into play regarding such occurrences.

In 2019, a remarkably high number of incidents involving psychotic breakdowns in the area surrounding Manila, the capital of the Philippines, resulted in the tentative investigation of the Authority due to potentially non-anomalous circumstances.

¶ The Philippines being stationed on active tectonic faults, it was theorized by researchers that psychic disturbance could come from the phenomenon of “ley lines” that has been frequently observed in Iceland. Others posed more mundane explanations, such as an increased epigenetic disposition towards mental instability caused by maternal stress during pregnancy.

Initial theories proposed that the disturbance was psychic in nature, due to the Philippines' location along active tectonic faults, akin to the "ley lines" observed in Iceland. More mundane explanations included epigenetic disposition towards mental instability caused by maternal stress during pregnancy, as well as the effects of industrial noise. Noise pollution in Manila averages at 76dB (Dulay et al, 2018), four times the WHO safe recommended noise levels. RPC investigation was subsequently delayed for 9 years.

9 years from when? is the year 2028 now? they took notice in 2019 but the investigation took 9 years to begin. u can have it in 2028 but im thinking that wasnt intentional?

¶ “The effects of industrial noise on the cardiovascular system were assessed in workers of lock factories, which were exposed to industrial noise levels exceeding 80 dB. There was a significant increase in systolic blood pressure (SBP), diastolic blood pressure (DBP), mean arterial pressure, pulse pressure, and heart rate in the workers compared to people who never lived or worked in a noisy environment.”(Aluko et al, 2015).

look at the bolded bits there if you are going to include this but i dont think this is worth keeping

¶ Noise pollution in Manila averages at 76dB (Dulay et al, 2018), four times the WHO safe recommended noise levels. It is not out of the question that increased occurrence of mental instability would be observed as a result. As such, it was 9 years before the Authority properly dealt with the issue.

merged

¶ The incident which would open the case was a series of disturbed and disjointed editorial letters which a news firm in east Manila received from an unknown person. These papers, while written illegibly, pointed to a clear timeline of events and probable cause which the Authority required in order to confirm the presence of a tangible anomaly.

this timeline is really confusing. im unsure how to crit this without getting it wrong. rn ill just move on to the journal

¶ Working from what little details were contained in the manuscript, Authority officers interrogated residents in Laguna on the whereabouts of the mentioned townhouse and the disturbed man. The Authority was eventually led to the small town of Pila, Laguna. Following its monastic district, they came across a Spanish mansion which approximately matched the description given in the letters.

¶ Inside, operatives found a man convulsive on the ground, having apparently swallowed the contents of a cremation ash jar from one of the house’s shelves. In an act of risky bravado, one agent attempted to kick the man’s stomach, which expelled a significant amount of the substance. The subject remained verbally unresponsive, but continued vital signs suggested that this measure was likely effective.

¶ The man was later identified as one Joshua Malchut Santos, owing mainly to the recovery of his notebook, which was found wedged within the bamboo flooring of the second story of the building. Santos was a 26 year old resident of Antipolo City, who worked as a reporter at a local news firm. He had initially visited Laguna for the purpose of visiting his elderly grandparents from the maternal side of his family.

¶ As time went on, this reason served increasingly as an alibi. His grandmother confided during questioning that her normally talkative and lively grandson had become cold and distant.

¶ “He knew how to make us feel at home with his conversation. Always full of ideas… But, Maraming salita, kulang sa gawa. We always tell him, Joshua, you need to stop closing your eyes and use your cleverness for the better of your people! He always laughs, says, ‘Lola, I have a big story soon. Do not worry’. Then, later, his fancies were gone… he talks to us, like the government man. I hope we didn’t give him the wrong idea.”

¶ Joshua Santos had not been high-ranking within his organization. Neglect of work and repeated absences had relegated him to covering events of no significant import. His increasing absences led to his expulsion from the company, but Santos continued to submit material to the paper well after the end of his tenure.

¶ Santos was brought back to the local Authority station, where interrogation was attempted. All methods of communication were unsuccessful. He showed signs of mental deterioration as are observed in the aftermath of a stroke affecting the left cerebral hemisphere, including meandering slurred speech, significant grammatical impairment, and memory loss.

¶ Phonetic oddities included excessive repetition of the phrase “lok-u” and a frequent incidence of a sound reminiscent of “g” or “j”, which would bleed into words, caused partially by an inability to keep the jaw closed tightly while enunciating. “U” or “O” sounds had similarly increased incidence, lingering for long periods of time and trailing off.

¶ This paired with his previous mental disturbance rendered Santos completely incomprehensible to Authority staff. Even when questioned directly regarding points of information detailed within his journal, rarely was any sign of recognition observed.

¶ Despite the clear encumbrances suffered by the subject, he displayed an uncanny confidence in what he was saying, often attempting sweeping gestures and pointing at those in the room.

¶ Joshua Malchut Santos, otherwise designated as RPC-616-A, is currently held within wing 330D of site (REDACTED). Security is minimal, but guards are stationed to watch the subject at all times. This has been put in place in the event that RPC-619-A makes any kind of action that would endanger his own wellbeing.

Initial thoughts: Please put these in some sort of format. There's plenty of CSS that works, such as the one used by Sov in 009, or even just the basic box you get from >. Right now this looks really goofy.

also note the ¶ means i think you should break it up

Also also note that Entry # is how I think you should format those headers. I can also draft up my own idea of how these can be formatted if u wanna :)

also also also: does his journal begin when he arrives? if not, put like "extraneous entries abridged" or something. actually you can do that for all of them

Entry 1

¶ Here I am again, in Laguna. Beautiful weather, majestic scenery. Visiting my grandparents here is a welcome break from my day job… They really do work us like buffaloes back at the newsrooms. And I can’t say I’ll miss the smell of garbage being burnt in the morning. But oh, what a contrast! Nothing but sweet serenity here in Pila. My grandpa always makes the most excellent lumpia tinapa, minsan rin may kasama pang kape. He preceded it with an appetizer of Puto, too. For all his cooking skill, I think old Lolo might have messed up the process… It’s sweet and all that he waited a few days when he heard I was arriving, but I think he let the egg incubate too long. It was still good, though. After dinner, we turned down the lights and played a few games of billiard. It was great fun, I won a few times. I hadn’t played in a while, so they had to catch me up on the rules a bit - they remembered perfectly. Guess it’s about the only thing they have for fun around here.

the size of the journals can be kind of intimidating, and while these entries are sweet, consider how much A) the authority feels is relevant to the case and B) how much the reader is going to bother reading

¶ They asked me a lot of nosy questions about my affairs in the business world… They do talk a lot about how city folks are kanya-kanya, ‘self-centered’ they’d say. I suppose they think I might be infected! Truth be told, I might… I do play around and talk at the office a lot. Well, they shouldn’t worry. Pan isn’t exactly a saintly practice either, especially as it was in their day. They frittered their money away at Pan, we fritter away ours at the malls… to point fingers at each other is silly, isn’t it? We’re just on our own paths. Besides, for all its faults, it’s hard not to get swept up in the sheer enthusiasm of the city.

keep an eye out for bolded bits

¶ There’s real life there, and real humanity. That’s what I wanna get hope to capture with my articles. I mean, just the other day I interviewed this guy who was crowned winner in a local eating competition. It isn’t much, I know, but tThe gleam in his eyes as he scarfed down that last chorizo… there’s something there!

¶ I’ve still got a whole 5 days before I go back. I really shouldn’t be thinking about my job. There’s a whole lot of lounging around to do.

Entry 3

¶ I was taking a walk through the town today. It was nice. As the breeze from the lake ruffled through the trees, I think I knew how it must have felt to be one of my ancestors. If only my friends back in the city could see me now, sailing the deep green waters in a cute little boat. I got to meet a few of the neighbors I hadn’t gotten the chance to see earlier, like the Castillo family and their adorable son. An elderly man named Nikvey Eynaim told me to check out this old historic house. I wasn’t too interested, but I figured that I might as well find it. I was lucky that I did. It was really a sight to behold. Masterful sculpture work on the exterior, and the inside is so incredulously comfortable too. It’s amazing how they’ve managed to keep it so clean and intact, after all this time. The building’s practically spotless. Had to be getting back to pack up, but I’d love to know more about its past! Eynaim said it had been a pub at one point. It seems like it’s older than that, certainly. Had to kiss my grandfather and grandmother goodbye, but I was on my way. but even these sunny vistas can’t hold me long.

the mention of the cute little boat in the beginning bothers me b/c youre saying "hes walking through the town" and mentions "oh if only they could see me now"… in a boat? wasn't he walking? the train of thought gets derailed a little there

Entry 4

¶ A few days since my return, and I can’t say the city’s humdrum has grown on me. My car got stuck in a massive pothole yesterday and I almost broke my back pushing it out, even with the help of some good samaritans. And after all that, I can’t even find a parking spot. Sayang! Ended up parking in the middle of the street, because screw it at that point. Even that is more help than I get around the office, though. I’m sure the top guys at this firm work very hard, but here with the smaller journalists and printers, I send something off to someone and it takes forever. I ask the man at the printers, Christopher, to get my short article test printed to see how it looks. He tells me it’d be done yesterday. It’s been a full two days by now. How long could it possibly take?

¶ My fellow reporters never accompany me to cover events, either. They’re talking, talking, talking, and they just talk right over me. They call me lazy, but they’d steal my work given half the chance! How am I supposed to be productive when things are like this? I feel anxious to get back to my grandparents, and to Laguna. I was at the karaoke bar last night, and we sung sang the song “Ang Huling El Bimbo”. I know it’s a bit silly, but the lyrics had the word house in it, you know, and it got me thinking about the townhouse again. Such an odd place, I wonder who it was built for.

Entry 5

¶ Today, instead of going to work, I decided to go to the library. I think my time is better spent learning rather than doing nothing.. sa mga hayop na iyon. Besides, learning some history would be good for my writing. Because I’d like to know more about it, I decided to see what the history of the townhouse was. I had to search through a lot of similar houses in the record book, but none had quite the ambiance of the house I knew, so it was pretty easy to find even with all the tiny thumbnails. Apparently, the house was built in around 1569, as the house of a prominent Spanish general. The man in question was Miguel Lopez de Legazpi, the first Spanish governor of the Philippines. He had the house constructed as a place for comfort in his later years, from which he could send delegations. Apparently the furniture wasn’t even built in the colonies, he had it imported by ship. Given the sheer quality, I see why he would.

translate the Filipino text in a footnote maybe? also its a bit of a stretch with all this info about this particular house being in a library far from the actual town the house is in right? i thought the house was somewhat obscure?

¶ Something interesting the book noted about the house is the bamboo flooring. Usually, houses in the Spanish style had wooden floors, so it really was an odd synthesis. Another thing which intrigued me was just how labor intensive the process of the limestone coating was on the walls. In the process they used, they put lumps of lime in a pit and left them there to macerate for four whole months. Every day of those months, a layer of milk lime formed at the top, was removed, the paste mixed, and covered again. This method was long, but it improved the usability of the paint. This really is great, I spent I ended up spending the whole day at the library.

¶ I bet that I can use this to make a gripping documentary about this house. On the way back I met up with some friends at the mall. They said they missed me, so I made sure to stay with them late tonight. We drank.

Entry 8

¶ I find myself oOnce again in Laguna. Meeting up again with my grandparents was nice. I sat around a bit on the veranda, and we made small talk. I noticed that the chandeliers in their house looked like they were of old Spanish make. They didn’t know where they got them, unfortunately. Then I went to see the wonderful scenery, and walk past all the townhouses.

¶ Nikvey took me through on a tour of the house. I traced my hand over every contour of the dressers. The amount of polishing and carving that it took must have been insane. I imagine the Italian sculptor, toiling away at his masterpiece. And he kept telling me all these fascinating things about it, and namely its owner. Legazpi, so he says, had a grandson named Juan de Salcedo. This grandson was a brave conquistador. His father, Serbando, passed away when he was a child, and he was thus taken into the care of his grandfather. He would spend a lot of time at Legazpi’s lavish townhouse, to the point where he kept a lot of his things there. He likely kept them in the storage cabinets in the kitchen area, the ones with the bas-relief of orchids. The owner, Legazpi, had a grandson brought into his care once their father, Serbano, had died. Juan de Salcedo was that grandson, and a brave conquistador. When he was not on his escapades, he would spend time at this lavish townhouse, storing away his treasures, likely in the storage cabinets in the kitchen, the ones with the orchid bas-relief.

¶ One day Salcedo sent his lover, the princess Kandarapa of Tondo, a marvelous miniature carriage of gold, commissioned from the gold he had conquered in his epic quests. He had commissioned it out of the very gold he recovered with his compatriots in his brave conquests. Accompanying was a letter and a bouquet of limestone-white lotus. Legazpi, a hard-nosed racist, refused to let his grandson marry a tribal woman, and once he had found Salcedo's letter, calling his grandfather a "Loku", a derogatory nickname given to Legazpi by Kandarapa, he tore the parchment apart and broke the model into pieces. Upon seeing the model he —would rend it took it apart, and he ripped the letter to shreds. Especially since in the letter he referred to his grandfather as “Loku” - a derogatory nickname the princess had given Legazpi.— The poor princess, receiving no word from her love, died of heartbreak. Soon after, when Salcedo had returned home and learned of what had happened, was struck by that same sorrow. When Salcedo learned of what had transpired, he was struck by grief.

im kind of confused why its never addressed why Salcedo didnt stop him, or why he didn't send another letter, if he was at this house too. maybe specify that Salcedo was away from the house, and sent these gifts and the letter to his grandfather to then send it to the princess. like Legazpi was supposed to be the middleman since Salcedo was off on an adventure. would also explain how legazpi got his hands on it all. also does salcedo die too?

¶ I wonder if excavation could find his tears under the cracks of these bamboo floors. I should try doing that in my subsequent visits.

Pretty huge leap in entries? you wanna talk about that?

Entry 26

¶ The materials for the building of the house came from a quarry in Rizal, measuring 24 feet squared. They had no dynamite at the time, nor drills, so they had to mine with picks, axes, chisels, and levers. With the added threat of water breaching, it was a very deadly business. The more I learn about the materials that went into making this house, the stoneworking, the woodworking… The more I realize the sheer majesty of this building. All the pawis, dugo’t luwa that made what I see before me.

again translate the tagalog

¶ It’s said that Legazpi’s death itself took place in this very house, in the eastmost side of the living room. Legazpi, now a hardened provincial magistrate, sat at the mahogany desk in the main hall. He had finished drafting another letter to his troops to press forward into Luzon, battling the Kapampangan and burning their villages. He called for his aide, and he noticed a strange change in his demeanor. “Well,” he said, “Get on, deliver the message to the Conquistadores camped outside Cainta.” But his manservant stood still, and delivered this reply: “O pamegat senapati di Loku, I entreat you, stop this bloodshed and rule the land in peace!” Legazpi stood positively bewildered, and then his stern composure returned to him. “If this is a message from young Salcedo,” he snarled, “I should like for him to deliver it personally. I shall not suffer messengers - I am the great Legazpi. My name strikes fear in the savage peoples of this country.” Upon his speaking these words the house shook violently 12 times, and up from the heavens came a voice like thunder. “Dost thou thus denigrate my name? Thou art Loku,” it crackled, “And thy name shall indeed be heard across the country, ahd and shall be heard by the Bisayas to the Tausugs - for from every rock and crevice, thou shalt cry out thy name in a form that suits the wretchedness of thy character.” Struck from his trance, the messenger fled the house; but when he turned back, he saw Legazpi no more. The old general had vanished completely, and not even a trace of a body was found.

Entry 28

¶ In the INCURRED piers, arches and pendentives on the third, fifth, seventh, ninth, and 11th floor and squinches When I saw him eating the final Sigimdog he was Powerling I don’t praning. Too many of the master locks are broken for the key to fit anymore. Division between the first and second floors repressed tallows for rising bahaghari sa loob ng ulap. The great deluge seperates the foam from the limewash and obscures the good and covers the world so that the carved flower orgate engravings bloom from the soil and the tears and purify to a consistency that is satisfactory for steady application. BINA in giving up to the lowest cavern in immersed to give built once Spainard in total soliptude. Jacub made in the Image of the MAN MA Medway 21 hatchets entered into the Fabric roll of rough-dressed Basalt.

Entry 33

¶ I was pacing around outside at night, looking at the HOUse. I tried to always find my gaze coming back to the House. The balaysteful architecture keeps ngann interested. And it’s only for a split second, then it’s gone, but I see it. I see it. It’s on the romanesque rafters, softly lit by the moon. It looked like a pangolin. Then it’s gone, and susmariosep, my head is spinning. It all makes sense. This is him, this is Loku. He has come to show me his 100 banal adornments. 100 pillars on the deck. And like the loyal beggar-prince Juan Bachiller, who waits patiently for God to reward him as he toils in destitution, so too will I wait patiently, watch, and listen. For my fortune is of this world. It is not of gold, or of alabaster, but knowledge from which my estate will be fastened. And just like Juan Bachiller, I will find my hidden lover fair.

this section goes hard