Comments for page "Atë"

(no title)

Thu, 29 Oct 2020 23:23:45 +0000

Thanks.

(no title)

Thu, 29 Oct 2020 22:06:14 +0000

It's definitely a fixer-upper, but nonetheless an article that shows your improvement as a writer which deserves a +1.
Atë can be a bit too much at times, and the agent that follows her around can have a bit more developed character, but the current form of this is not bad at all, if not enjoyable.

I look forward to the further development of the article, and I'm sincerely happy to see that you are improving.

(no title)

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 16:40:33 +0000

Thanks for the crit, if I do try to post this to main list, I will attempt to implement that to add to the article.

(no title)

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 16:32:01 +0000

I said this in crit so I’ll say it here: I think this a great study in believable dialogue and character development. It all feels natural and properly motivated. You want to side with the Authority and dislike the goddess but can’t once you get the idea.

The antics and playfulness gets a little over the top, ex. falling & chipping the tooth, the motorcycle collision.

The idea of misfortune having to be scattered because its concentration can get to a threshold is clever & turns the classic interpretation of a goddess/god of chaos on its head.

I wish we would have seen just how catastrophic things could have gotten if she was kept contained, instead of Mary Sueing away from the containment attempt. Imagine the depth of imagery when you have a world suddenly collapsing as this RPC just sits in the cell, looking out like some sort of Joker that has checkmated you. The moral grey area from that would have been a real piston of this article.

There’s no question to me that as is, this is an article that’s worthy of the mainlist. With that one change I’d say it’d be a really good one too.

(no title)

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 02:28:55 +0000

Understood.

(no title)

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 02:28:46 +0000

Thanks.

(no title)

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 02:28:18 +0000

no vote

(no title)

Tue, 27 Oct 2020 01:16:56 +0000

Possibly, however it seems that actual improvement of my quality is really non-existent. This may possible just be a longer article.

(no title)

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 22:17:20 +0000

A significant improvement in your quality of articles, but still not good to my specific subjective taste.

(no title)

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 13:56:36 +0000

Although it's not the most polished article, you have fun just reading through dialogue and meeting those characters, you can say whatever you want, but It's hard not to see them.

(no title)

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 22:44:40 +0000

http://rpcauthority.wikidot.com/forum/t-13823756/excer-013-contest-entry

Thanks to everyone who critted my draft.