Comments for page "RPC-680"

(no title)

Sat, 14 Jan 2023 03:40:13 +0000

A good number of decent ideas at play here, but the execution is thoroughly clumsy and far too long-winded. The clinical tone seems okay at first, but cracks start to show as it continues on, especially in the unconvincing "puppet show" dialogue. A lot of time is spent on long, fruitless descriptions and incidents that end inconsequentially, which I have to say killed a lot of my enjoyment.

The 680-A creatures tickled my fancy, but unfortunately they didn't serve a strong narrative role or get shown in action very much. 680-B felt like a standard and uninteresting murder monster; Even attaching weird speech mannerisms is a pretty dry trope. The Janitor hinged on an overplayed gimmick. It might not be an impossible one to pull off, but it was used for the worse here; I didn't want to read its parts because they became so arduous.

By any chance can The Janitor tell me what The Janitor are? No, I know that The Janitor are The Janitor, I mean what as in what type of… thing? God, I know The Janitor are a janitor. I guess?

Lastly, 680-D was honestly a hilarious concept. I liked it, and I want to see what else it can do.

I was hoping that if I pushed through the tiring description section then the exploration logs would pay off, but I found that my drive to continue was still withering throughout them. They take too long to build momentum, and much of what happens is standard fare for these extradimensional anomalies. It failed to prove that the anomaly had unique stories to offer, which is a shame because it probably could have.

There's a surprisingly workable blend of a wide variety of tones, and if it were handled better then this could truly be an iconic location. In its current state, these are scatterbrained yet interesting ideas with incredibly boring execution. 2/5. That's a little harsh for my opinion, but I've decided that I don't care to see this article stay up as it is now.

(no title)

Sat, 27 Mar 2021 20:25:27 +0000

Thoroughly enjoyed 680-B. However, the length of this article really plays against it — no matter how many times I've tried to read this, my eyes start glazing over after Exploration C. Even if the tone is delightfully bizarre, the content itself quickly becomes repetitive.

(no title)

Thu, 25 Feb 2021 18:22:13 +0000

(no title)

Thu, 25 Feb 2021 17:09:40 +0000

It's unlikely the author will respond to you through this medium. Suggest you reach out to them in Wikidot DMs or the Discord.

(no title)

Thu, 25 Feb 2021 15:31:57 +0000

Seeking permission to change:

A shattered RPC-680-A instance will emit lethal gases into the air which cause rapid asphyxiation in any individual who inhales the gas, as well as [DATA EXPUNGED].

to:

Upon shattering, instances emit a gaseous substance that causes rapid asphyxiation, as well as [DATA EXPUNGED], upon inhalation.

(no title)

Sat, 28 Sep 2019 21:38:07 +0000

Yeah make it more clear that they are wearing vitals monitoring equipment, but still I think they would assume that the equipment was either ruined or out of range when they disappear, instead of literally ceasing to exist.

(no title)

Tue, 24 Sep 2019 16:19:02 +0000

Nice RPC, also like the horror to it

(no title)

Wed, 18 Sep 2019 00:20:14 +0000

The squad fires into his heart because they tried to fire on -B but -B directed every shot into the heart. They noticed after a few seconds which is when they stopped.

I assume the Authority would be able to tell he stopped existing entirely when he went in and all readings whatsoever indicated he wasn't there, but I will edit this to make it clearer since right now I think the observation staff are confused at first when they shouldn't be since it would be obvious that no communication was working.

(no title)

Tue, 17 Sep 2019 19:40:42 +0000

CSD-2543 walks through the door and ceases to exist
Instead of "ceases to exist" use something describing that communication is lost. There's no way that they would know that he stopped existing. Same for the rest of the article when the same term is used.

The squad fires on RPC-680-B. All of these shots are fired into Agent Faemore's heart, causing the squad to stop firing upon noticing.
The squad would be better than this. I'm not sure if I misunderstand what is happening here, but if it's friendly fire there would be no way that they all hit his heart.

I like the quotes from -B, especially RENDER UNTO CAESAR!!!