Containment Protocols:

Site-88

Minor thing, but site designations always have three digits, so it would be "Site-088"

Staff is prohibited

Staff are*

with the entity(see addendum-███-02)

missing space after "entity", capitalized "addendum"

Any testing

Can remove "Any"

---

Description:

You need to capitalize the text inside footnotes as if they were their own individual sentences.

RPC-███’s back is a vintage winding key of 40 cm in height and 60 cm wide

remove vintage, change text after "key" to "40cm tall and 60cm wide"

RPC-███’s left eye emits a constant glow, which it uses to illuminate dark areas.

I'd move this sentence before the one talking about the winding key

2 minutes

for numbers smaller than 10 and not part of a designation, spell them out

after first sight

"after initial sighting" I think is more clear

have demonstrated

have shown*

helps RPC-███ to

helps it to*

body in a 360° range of motion to

I'd simplify to "body 360° degrees to"

blood vessels.RPC-███’s Right “hand” consists

missing space after period, decapitalize "Right" and remove the quotations around "hand" as they're not called for in this scenario. If you want to, you can change it to "appendage" instead

with a length of 51 cm and 12 cm wide.

I feel this bit is unnecessary and takes away from the "oomph" of the paragraph's ending

a thick reddish liquid

comma after "thick"

RPC-███ does not respond to sounds or any other stimuli unless in an active state.

I feel the reader can already guess this with the information you've provided already

the entity will proceed

"it will proceed" flows better

with the sewing needle that replaces its left hand

I'd change to "with its sewing needle", we already know it replaces its right hand

and drag the victim instance to

and drag it to*

or a large

remove the "a"

RPC-███ will forcibly remove the victim's clothing to replace it. Through a method that is still unknown, RPC-███ will materialize old thick fabrics from its bag and will start sewing this fabric to the victim’s body. After an undetermined amount of time, the victim's body will have a high-quality vintage dress suit or a dome-shaped full dress with intricate patterns and expressive dyes, depending on the victim's biological gender, sewn directly onto the skin.

Through unknown means, RPC-███ will materialize thick fabrics from its bag to sew onto the victim's body after removing their previous garments. Once finalized, it will have finished attaching a high-quality dress suit or hoopskirted dress (gender-dependant) onto their skin.*

I like the description and what you're trying to go for here, but I feel you could do away with a lot of the physical descriptions around the anomaly (specially all the cm measurements), mostly on the first four paragraphs, so you can focus more on WHAT it DOES, as you do in the last paragraphs.

---

Discovery:

RPC-███ was found on 03/05/1970 in a hidden basement in an old edifice in Dresden, East Germany at the time.

RPC-███ was found on 03/05/1970, inside a hidden basement at an old edifice in Dresden, East Germany.* (no need to specify since the date implies so)

I find it really funny to image like three or four guys trying to stop this guy and being unable to. I believe they would have, at least, tried to grab the ASF itself to pull it away. Maybe indicate that they tried, but the entity started attacked them with the needle?

---

Addendum:

Add a divider before this section starts. Also, in the collapsible names, capitalize "Autopsy Report" and maybe add a | or - before it. I also don't see the point in listing what was found in bullet points when you already do the same in their individual sections.

RPC -███'s early

bad space

and final first

and first final*

Consent letter of

Consent letter from*

note of an

note from an*

Dear Anna:

if it's a letter dating from that type, it should be "Dear Anna,". People didn't really use ":" like that.

(footnote: a sweet cinnamon pastry from 1800s Germany)

is this necessary? kinda cuts the "letter" vibe

(the name is smudged).

I feel this should be said in the foreword

in only a few days

"in just a few days time" would be more time-adequate

Things are not going so well;

replace semicolon with a period

yet; he

same thing

from the husband's woman

this is a really odd way to put it. I would replace it with just his name of "Luise's husband" or smth

ASF-███ autopsy results

I… don't really know why this section is here? It just repeats what we can already tell from the discovery section and doesn't add anything new.

RPC-███, Labrador Retriever (1)((Canis Lupus Familiaris).

RPC-███, 1 Labrador Retriever* (put the scientific name in a footnote)

A Canis lupus familiaris was

No need to use the scientific name beyond the first specification. Just use "subject" or "dog"

chamber.RPC-███

missing space

---

Final Thoughts:

It's not bad, I like the idea and visuals, but I feel the addendums past the first one fall kinda flat. Like, yes, we know it killed and dressed up an ASF guy, and that it would do the same with man/female as well if placed in sight of it. There's nothing really new gained here that the reader can't already guess. I would suggest changing them for something more… new(?). Maybe an attempt at an interview, or seeing how it reacts with human-like figures like a mannequin and stuff. Something that ADDS to the article instead of repeating information we already know about.

MST Sierra-10 ("Mechanical Hearts")

Remember to add the footnote explaining their specialty

---

BTL-34-A1

Instead of direct linking it, do a footnote that explains the model and link the page on the footnote instead (or just keep the link placement there while still adding the footnote.)

---

relocation to Site-168 for psychiatric care and counsel.

relocation to Site-168 for psychiatric care and counseling.

---

Currently under consideration by the Office of Ethics and Review; monitor instance activity until a decision is reached.

Idk what the red text is for; that's usually reserved for termination orders. How about

This protocol is currently under consideration by the Office of Ethics and Review.

Instead?

---

ASIACOM Protection personnel are to maintain a network of informational exchange with the Okuri-ōkamis in regards to anomalous black market activity in Japan

This is exactly what the purpose of Hotel-11 "Karasu" is for lol

---

RPC-683, Wolbachia lupus, is an anomalously bioengineered species of the Wolbachia genus of gram-negative bacteria. This bacteria, sold by Kabushiki Kawaii as "Wulf - Model Enhancer", comes in pills containing one infected instance of T. canis, which acts as the bacteria's intermediate host.

This doesn't flow very well. Pick and choose from the following rewrite:

"Wolbachia lupus" (RPC-683) is an anomalously bioengineered species of gram-negative bacteria belonging to the genus Wolbachia. It is distributed by Kabushiki Kawaii under the product name “Wulf – Model Enhancer”. These items come in the form of pills containing an infected instance of T. canis, which serves as RPC-683's intermediate host.

---

Once ingested, it will gestate in the subject's stomach for three days or until it has reached a length of ~120cm, causing mild fever, weakness and abdominal pains.

Once ingested, it will gestate in the subject's stomach until it has reached a length of ~120cm, causing mild fever, weakness, and abdominal pains; a process which usually takes three days.

---

Having served its purpose, the roundworm will be digested by RPC-683

After serving its purpose, the roundworm will be digested by RPC-683

---

You should've used the older image; it had a way better composition. Go to https://lowqualityimage.org/ if you want to make it look like a shitty camera lol.

---

RPC-683-A-31 INTERVIEW - ENGLISH TRANSLATION

Here's some pointers to make Japanese-translated-sounding dialogue.

A lot of emphasis on elipses before explanation marks like

…!
…?

For example

“You… did what…!?”
“Kibakichi…!?”
“You actually ate it…?!”

Use ellipses before sentences to indicate silence.

…And the humans…! The humans were powerless before me! Their flesh… my claws tore it apart! Yes… they did!
…Like I told you to…?

Don't be afraid to use honorifics. I think Kibakichi would like being refered as with the rare suffix -dono like Kibakichi-dono (though, Kibakichi-sama works too). It would make sense she gets offended at being referred to as Kibakichi-san.

Do sentence repetition. This is probably the most important part.

“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because I knew it. I knew the day would come.”
“Weak. So weak…”
“It's cute. Too cute.”
“I hate it…! I really hated it!”

Use "Eh?" instead of "Huh?" and "well…" instead of "umm…"

Use phrases like

"I mean…"
"I see…"

more

So putting it all together, it would be like

Things, they did. To me. But I held strong - I did! Because I knew the day would come. They gave me a pill, they did. They were going to sell me, had to make me… [RPC-683-A-31 snarls] cute. It was agony, the metamorphosis - it was.

Things… they did. To me. Terrible things. But I endured - I did! Because I knew… I knew the day would come…! They gave me a pill, they did. They wanted to make me… [RPC-683-A-31 snarls] …cute…! It was agonizing! The metamorphosis… it was nothing but agony!

---

I get the RPC-580 (old) reference, but the nazi werewolf reference feels a little tacked in lol

This feels like a 50-episode production that I consumed entirely through fandoms entries and recap edits.

Which is an apt description of exactly what it is, and it didn't require more. But then that three-years jumpcut into the final arc, I think it's asking too much of an emotional response from me. It's a hollow triumph.

I'm not going to know the details of how Seiko had "gotten pretty ruthless" in those three years; That whole red-crowned crane post read like a screencap to a Tomo-centric episode two-thirds the way into the series, but I don't have a before or after.

It's all heavylifting from headcanons and, well, precure tropes I've picked up some 16 years ago.

Containment Protocols
Having an MST be on standby for one particular anomaly seems an odd choice, contacting said detachment upon sighting of the anomaly seems a more logical process.

On a similar note, describing the equipment of the MST is also a bit curious, given that such would already be in their arsenal and wouldn't need to be specified in one anomaly's use. (I assume a suit of power armor is more versatile than that.)

I would exchange that red text for a footnote. The red is rather distracting.

Description
Your description tells me what Wolbachia Lupus is, not what RPC-683 is.

"Having served its purpose, the roundworm will be digested by RPC-683 and slowly metabolized into a pseudo-organ attached to the spine."
Remove "Having served its purpose," this addition is somewhat unclinical
Replace with: "Following [This/Above/etc], the roundworm…"

"Excess nutrients will be diverted into RPC-684,"
It's RPC-684 now?

"On the subject's next menstrual cycle1 following completion of the ENS, RPC-683 will trigger a body-wide transmutation."
This whole sentence reads weird for me. Specifying menstrual cycle makes it seem gender-specific and then disproving that in the footnote.
I would replace it with:
"Approximately 28 days following the completion of the ENS¹, RPC-683 will trigger a body-wide transmutation."

"…the subject's and that of the Eurasian wolf,"
You've used scientific names up until this point, don't stop now! And while you're at is, add a footnote to each scientific name with the common name.

(Footnote): " Male subjects typically perish from multiple sclerosis and organ failure, as RPC-683 fails to connect to the body's reproductive system and begins to be attacked by white cells. Surviving individuals require surgical removal of the main RPC-683 node or a stable caloric deficit to prevent its growth."
This footnote reads odd, but the only obvious fix is in the first sentence.
"…as RPC-683 fails to connect to the subject's reproductive system and is thus attacked by white blood cells."

"…RPC-683-A features will become more pronounced and their connection to the central nervous system heightened as subjects make use of them."
Remove: "as subjects make use of them."

"On the next menstrual cycle,"
Your footnote specifies "typically," in regard to most males dying. What happens to those who don't menstruate at this point?

"…with most body mass center in the upper body and shoulders."
I'm not exactly certain what this is trying to say, but my best guess is;
"…with most gained body mass being centered in the upper torso and shoulders."

Discovery
Some mention of what happened prior to MST incapacitating the instances, such as them being deployed, would be nice.

Redact the officer names, they don't add to the story.

Informational Slip
Needs reworked to seem more ad-like, presently it presents as an informational slip, but is phrased like an advertisement.

Investigation
The specification of Romeo-7 adds not to the story, replace with "Authority Personnel"

"A subsequent excursion revealed it to have been a production center for Kabushiki Kawaii produce prior to the termination of its entire staff at the hands of several RPC-683-A instances a month prior. The instances, still inhabiting the complex, attacked Romeo-7 personnel on sight, with the largest one fracturing Det. Stannum Yeung's ribcage by throwing an oak table at him. Hostilities only ceased when one of the instances pleaded in favor of the Authority, recognizing them from a failed raid conducted in Switzerland back in August 3rd, 2025."
This entire paragraph needs reworked. Such a rework is presented:
"Further investigation revealed the site to have been a production center for Kabushiki Kawaii products prior to the termination of the entire staff by several RPC-683-A instances a month earlier. The instances, still present at the facility, attacked Authority personnel on sight, with one instance severally wounding Det. █████. Hostilities ended when another instance recognized the personnel present, having identified them from a raid conducted in August of 2025."

Interview
The first instance of the -A-## being used is here, at the end of the article.

Specifying "within the setting of an interview," is redundant.

Specifying the manner in which the camera is held is redundant.

I'm guessing the interview was conducted in Japanese, and if so, a descriptor pointing out the translation is necessary.

"Agent Nobuhiko: Human? Where you also not a human prior to your… [pause] contact with Kabushiki Kawaii? The scientists who operated this facility."
"Were," not "Where,"
The pause is unnecessary.
Replace the first question mark with a comma and the final period with a question mark.

I seriously doubt that the Authority would let such a group operate as this gang. They seemingly provide nothing to RPC and they are, just to refresh your memory, a bunch of homicidal werewolves!

Assessment Report
The email is an odd addition, I think.

"customized containment suite located in Residential Wing-C of Site-██." Why would you locate an anomaly in a residential wing made for Staff personnel? I'd suggest against that, keep it with other registered anomalies for the sake of the Anomaly and Staff.

"comfortably stretch, exercise, and rest his wings" I'd personally not use gendered pronouns as I believe the Authority wouldn't see anomalies as human….but that's just me. If you wanna keep it, keep it.

"All furnishings are reinforced to" To fix this up a bit, try "All furnishings are to be reinforced to"

"A wooden cross carved by RPC-964 has been approved for permanent display within the suite." I don't know why this is here, as it doesn't pertain to containment protocols, maybe mention it shouldn't be removed for any reason?

"RPC-964 has been granted access to designated Level-1 and Level-2 personnel areas of Site-██ between 0600 and 2200 hours." I'm HIGHLY concerned about this. When allowing an anomaly the ability to roam a site you need to plan for every potentiality that could cause a containment breach. I'm personally concerned about if this anomaly were to be mind controlled, with his strength could mean BIG problems. A way to counter this would be something that could instantly knock it out, armed personnel accompanying it and limiting its free roam time to maybe a fortnightly occurrence. Another thing, lvl 2 security clearance means he has the same clearance as security staff AND he has access to RPC articles and research. I'd take that down to Lvl 1 security clearance, no anomaly should have that clearance unless they're labelled utility.

"Level-3 or higher clearance areas remains restricted unless the request is authorized by the Site Director." Once again, don't know when higher clearance would ever be authorised, but I do like there is some restraint here.

"RPC-964 routinely notifies security and the appropriate department supervisor before entering departments outside its normal schedule" Once again, I like this. Clear and concise.

"Harassment, intimidation, or deliberate provocation of RPC-964 is strictly prohibited." Lay out what the punishment would be for this. Maybe also add what to do if this does occur, like, what they do to the anomaly? Calm it down? it'll help expand the article for the better.

"RPC-964 is encouraged—but never required—to assist Site personnel with maintenance, logistics, emergency response, and other physically demanding tasks." I'm kind of concerned about this, once again for potential containment breaches or information leaks. If this were to occur, maybe put some strict guidelines, i.e. It is not to interact with any Anomalies while doing this.

"and Site-sponsored social events" Slight concern for this. I don't know how quick the anomaly is to anger, but this could be a point of concern for this to occur.

"RPC-964 identifies himself as a Christian" I feel like this would be said in the Description, not here. Maybe change it to: "RPC-X has been authorised religious paraphernalia due to its ongoing cooperation and currently possesses…"

"All items have been inspected and determined to possess no anomalous properties." This feels like it should read more like: "All items requested are to be inspected and cleared of anomalous properties before being passed on to RPC-X." It does make sense to make the assurance that these have been inspected, these are protocols, you should be describing what to do, not what has been done.

"Should RPC-964 exhibit signs of emotional distress, personnel are instructed to employ verbal reassurance before considering physical intervention" This feels like this confirms my worries about the anomaly, as allowing it to roam freely and inviting it to social events puts it at a higher risk of emotional distress.

I do like the notice, helps draw the eyes of a researcher and sticks in the mind.

Overall reading the containment protocols, i'm very intrigued about this anomaly already, but I'm very concerned with the amount of privileges it has and the lack of restrictions. When it comes to designing containment protocols, always account for the worst possible outcome. If you want to keep some of these ideas, you cold just do them on a smaller level. Perhaps scheduled social events revolving around the anomaly in its containment chamber could be allowed, with new researchers being forbidden to join and extensive vetting required for normal researchers.

I am impressed with the grammar and spelling, there's so little I needed to correct there.

[TOTAL NEUTRALIZATION ORDER]

The term has always been [OUTSTANDING NEUTRALIZATION ORDER]

Mental Corruption

That's a rather MI13 way of putting things.

Japan TSUGA Comprehensive Special Affairs Commission (日本TSUGA総合特務院), a core group of the Children of Nihil.

LMAO WHAT

ASIACOM subsequently spent approximately 6 months petitioning the Protectorate to revoke RPC-XXX's appointment within ACI.

This shouldn't be the jurisdiction of the Protectorate. Protectorate is not an abbreviation of Protection Division (presumably)

OL sites

OL-Sites or On-Location Sites

Masako "Seiko" ████,

RPC-XXX selected 17-year-old Meiko ████ as its first "Magical Girl"

RPC-XXX-1-2 was briefly mentored by ████ Meiko (RPC-XXX-1-1)

Kurobane Nobuyuki (黒羽伸行)

Nobuyuki Kurobane,

Please settle on the exact placement of all surnames

RPC-614⁵

I know it's all Amane here, but you really should've gave it a special designation considering 614 is a group anomaly

Off. Ueta: 気になさらず。屋上で何が起きましたか？

Ueta?

Hirayama:あの……

Missing spacing

Speaking of Kurodetta

Claudette

wished you kept the broken comiket jpg

One of the Kurobane Nobuyuki (黒羽伸行), a senior executive of the company and the chief logistics officer of the Kyoto network. Kurobane has gained a fascination with RPC-XXX and Team Exusiai.

"One of the" goes nowhere

A senior executive and the chief logistics officer of KK's Kyoto network, Kurobane Nobuyuki黒羽伸行, has gained a fascination with RPC-XXX and Team Exusiai.

めいこ先輩

メイコちゃん
Meiko-chan

芽衣子先輩
Not senpai?

東源バイオテック

桃源医工

せいこ

These should all still be written as 正子

クロバネ様

黒羽様

RPC-XXX-1-3: 再生している間に、爆弾を全部取り出す！

RPC-XXX-1-4

RPC-XXX-1-2: (Steps back and readies its wand) ちっ、一体何の話なんだ？(Steps back and readies its wand) Tch, what are you on about?

Missing spacing

RPC-614: 実夕！！
Miyu!!

(Enraged, Kurobane immediately turns the pistol toward RPC-439; but RPC-XXX-1-4 tackles RPC-439 to the floor before he can fire at it.)

Huh???

実夕

美夕

ASIACOM Headquarters, Site-██, Saitama Prefecture, Japan

サイト███

Site-███

RPC-XXX-1-4 encounters GD-ASIA accompanied by MST Alpha-1 personnel.

The Headquarters of ASIACOM is statedly Regional Site-07. As well, "RPCs are strictly excluded from these facilities." Which was a measure to prevent this exact scenario from happening. You're gonna have to move this off the HQ and I'd rather you not redact the Site. There are three Sites listed in Japan:

• Site-089
• Site-092
• Site-108

RPC-XXX-1-1

When did she came in?

There were plenty of fun times and tough times…
But we were able to make it this far because of all of you who cheered us on and our precious friends.

Missing spacing

I'm a sucker for WikiDot articles that look like internet forums. I'm especially a sucker for the Veil Rippers. They're a really interesting GoI and I like seeing what all these disorganized conspiracy theorists think about the RPC Authority. Needless to say, this article hooked me the moment I laid eyes on it. "BBL" is characterized very well and I enjoy his interactions with the other forum members. Really felt like I was reading an actual internet forum. The biggest room for improvement you have is nailing the clinical tone and smoothing out some of the jankiness of the flow. Otherwise, bravo!

Despite it being a long article, it felt short in a bad way; The plot has one too many generic shonen fight scenes, which are somewhat indistinguishable from one another. The one time it was getting interesting, the footage is cut short. I won't lie and say I wasn't bored for a minute or two reading through the 614 fight and the latter half of the Comiket log. Both establish a connection between them and K.K. anomalies, but they go on for longer than they need for characterization and cover singular plot points each, which is criminally few for how much this concept has to offer.

As much as I like your character writing, it didn't do it for me here, as I thought it got bloated by the extraneous exchanges in the fight scenes. And as much as I love the theme, I wish there was some say or sort of ceremonial farewell from Chomu to retired magical girls. It's a very personal character article, and somehow I did not care much for them (except maybe Pretty Pink). I ended up waiting for Chomu to appear and make it interesting again.

That said, it's not without its good moments. Much of the anomaly and GOI description as well as Chomu herself are a blast. Also:

Their battles often resulted in significant property damage and widespread public disturbances, requiring extensive efforts from the Japanese government and the Authority to suppress information and maintain the integrity of the Veil.

I love the implication that this spurred a new wave of magical girl anime, namely Madoka. This, in turn, had me thinking: what if magical girl anime early on in the 80s was based around Wonderland? Some Japanese mangaka were given that insight through unknown means, which let them prepare and condition the Japanese for Chomu's arrival.

Perhaps cause I was going into this with high expectations that I'm a little disappointed. But I digress; it's a good article, and the coming-of-age theme had me feel very nostalgic, especially in the blog sections.

The image looks really weird and like a 3D model. I'd recommend looking through wikimedia commons for a pic, such as:
- https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Leica_M10-P_%22White%22_.jpg
- https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Panasonic_Lumix_DC-S5II_with_Lumix_S_50mm_1.8_2023-02-06.jpg
- https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fujifilm_GFX100_26_oct_2019a.jpg
- https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Canon_EOS_R5%2BRF_100-500mm_f4.5-7.1L_IS_USM(17).jpg
or whatever else you find fitting.

Containment Protocols::

does not have any adverse effects

I'd change "does not have" to "lacks"

RPC-XXX is not to have its lens pointed in the direction of a sapient being except during testing.

1. This has been deferred to the Anomalous Object Maintenance Team's management Disregard. As of 7/22/2026 all battery level checks are to be performed by research staff assigned to RPC-XXX.

"research" should be capitalized

how so? is it kept inside a box? a locker? with a piece of cloth covering it? does it not have a lense cap? does "pointed at" only count line of sight?

Protocol XXX-3 "My OC, Don't Steal" should be enacted.

I'd move the paragraph this is in to be the last of the conprots, the shock value of reading that protocol's name is a pretty good hook

---

Description:

While the individual's personality does not change, RPC-XXX-A instances will not refuse to put on an outfit provided to them even if they would not typically prefer to wear an outfit of that make or design

I'd change to: While RPC-XXX-A instances retain their personality, they will not refuse to put on any outfits provided to them, even if their make or design would go against their usual preferences

The only exception to this is if the outfit is undersized to an uncomfortable degree, though they will only complain about the outfit's tightness while still trying to put it on.

To make this a little more clear you could change it to mean that they will not wear (or be reluctant to wear) outfits that cause them physical harm or discomfort

Once the instance of RPC-XXX-A has put on its provided outfit, they will often claim that they are

Since you use "they", it'd be better to say "Once a instance" here. Also, why "often"? What are the other possibilities here? Do they need to try on several outfits before saying so? If not, remove "often" - and I'd also shorten it to "they [often] will claim to be"

and will wait for direction

and wait for instructions* (double will in the same sentence + "instructions" makes more sense here)

however, they will

unnecessary "however"

it will have the normal function of a typical camera

I'd shorten to "it will function as a", try not to overuse "will" and terms of vagueness such as "often" or "may" in articles unless explicitly necessary

However, should a picture be taken of an instance of RPC-XXX-A, they will enter into a state of much stronger suggestion than before. RPC-XXX-A's brain will become much less active, allowing them to be much more suggestible than before.

I'd change this to something more precise like an acute state of delirium (doesn't mean crazy, look it up) and sedated, altered consciousness. Also, you can cut out " they will enter into a state of much stronger suggestion than before. RPC-XXX-A's " and just join the two sentences together since they both regard the same thing, otherwise you'd be repeating the "suggestible" bit twice

while keeping them within shot of RPC-XXX's camera lens

while keeping in the camera's frame*

Should there be 20 photos taken of a given RPC-XXX-A instance, the 21st photo taken will have the flash on whether or not it was active prior or not.

The 21st picture taken of a given RPC-XXX-A instance, whatever it was previously active or not, will have its camera flash on*

products, however all changes to the instance have been entirely cosmetic, with no changes to the RPC-XXX-B instance's internal structure.

I'd change the comma for a period and remove the however. Also, you should probably denote what is a -B before talking about it. Maybe specify whatever or not those cosmetic changes eventually revert or not.

20 minutes pass following

remove "pass"

I gotta this, this is a REALLY creepy and uncomfortable anomaly, and that's really good!!!! It's exactly what I'd expect KK to pull off. Maybe leaning into a more clinical tone of its effects could further enhance the creepy factor.

---

Discovery:

At the time of the raid, an instance of RPC-XXX-B was discovered dressed as an instance of RPC-614 and was terminated on-sight.

the image of an MST squad stumbling into a catgirl in a maid outfit and blowing their shit smoove off is really funny ngl. Also, is this person supposed to be the content creator who, I assume, was kidnapped against their will for these photos?

---

Incident Report XXX-9:

Control, yes Mister Rojas?

Change comma to period, and a comma after "yes"

Interviewer: Mares Mares

Mares Mares? Typo, or very odd name?

---

Final Thoughts:

It was pretty good! Honestly, I don't have much to complain about. I do have some suggestions.

I already explained that a bit more clinical tone could help to the creep factor, and maybe expanding on just how much the subject is suggestible after repeated shooting. Otherwise, and I know this may not perhaps be the type of stuff you like to write, which is fine, but I feel you could've gone further with the Incident Report to really drive in how dangerous this thing is. I agree with Adejny in his comments to drawing parallels sexual exploitation with it.

Also, maybe have a section on the conprots about searching for any more instances of RPC-XXX in case they exist? Or something to indicate this was something made by KK or commissioned to someone by them.