FalsTV Episode 1 - Harold Ruins Object Classes





FalsTV: Harold Ruins Everything Episode 1


Announcer: Welcome to FalsTV! be ready for our first episode of “Harold ruins Object Classes”!

Announcer: Now please welcome to the stage….Harold!


Audience: Applause.


Audience: Louder Applause.

Harold: The show that is totally not fals, and is totally tru! Hahaha!


Audience: Laughter

Harold: Now, object classes. What if I told you that despite being only 13% of the anomalous population, gamma RPCs commit over 50% of the atrocities?

Audience: Gasp

Harold: It’s true, but let’s not be prejudiced here! Just look at RPC-514! He has to be a half human, half bird for a living! You can’t blame the guy!

Audience: Laughter

Harold: Or even RPC-042! He’s practically bald!

Audience: Laughter

Harold: Yeah…it’s pretty clear that the Authority doesn’t treat Gamma class RPCs equally to the other classes. It’s gotten so bad that all Gamma class RPCs have started a campaign called “Gamma Lives Matter!” Can you believe that?!

Audience: Laughter

Harold: I think it’s time we cut to our sponsor. See you after the break!

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Announcer: Welcome back to FalsTV! With your host…..Harrrooold!


Audience: Applause.

Harold: Thank you! Thank you!

Harold: Alright, let’s go back to the Gamma Lives Matter movement. Here with me on the show today is RPC-115. RPC-115 how are you today?

RPC-115: I’m very frustrated Harold. Thanks for letting me spread the word of GLM on your show.

Harold: So, tell me what this ‘movement’ of yours is all about.

RPC-115: Well, Harold, we believe that the Authority has mistreated us. You know, some of our containment protocols are so harsh that we have to literally be hidden from the world. They dedicate all of their resources to our containment. We demand that our containment protocols be loosened. It’s not our fault that we would drain the oceans as if drinking from a pond, or kill humans by crying and making them all depressed, or start global wars between humans. It’s all just in our nature.

RPC-115: Our lives matter.

Harold: What a bold statement…tell me, what do you think of Alpha anomalies?

RPC-115: We demand that those anomalies feel our pain. We demand reparations.

Harold: Very beautiful words, RPC-115. Thank you for coming on the show.

Harold: And thank you, viewers for watching! Stay tuned for the next episode of FalsTV!

Harold: And remember, it’s the show that’s totally not fals, and is totally tru! Haha!



Audience: Cheering and applause

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