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Registered Phenomena Code: 411811-J
Object Class: Alpha-White
Hazards: Contact Hazard
Containment Protocols: RPC-411811-J is to be stored in a 50mL container at Site ██, within a standard Alpha-Class locker. Under no circumstances is RPC-411811-J to touch a paper document. No less than 3 armed guards are to protect the room at all times. Authority personnel under Security Clearance Level Four are not permitted to enter the room containing RPC-411811-J. (See Addendum 411811-1 for more information)
Description: RPC-411811-J appears to be a viscous liquid with a dark blue hue. The liquid is extremely similar to maple syrup1, and tastes like shit good thing that taste good. RPC-411811-J is loved hated by almost all researchers at the Authority. It is unknown whether this is an anomalous effect or just due to the anomalous effects of the liquid.
Stop editing the article, you cuck.
-Dr. Chrome
Fuck you.
-Dr. Fartass
RPC-411811-J, when coming into contact with any paper document, changes the physical appearance of said paper. The item will adopt a color scheme of blue, white, and a dark grey. This change happens at a slow rate, with the effect slowly spreading from the point of contact. During initial discovery, 100 milliliters of RPC-411811-J were collected. At the current time of containment, only 32 milliliters of the liquid remain.
Addendum 411811-1:
On 03/14/19, a group of unknown peoples, assumed to be high-ranking Authority personnel, broke into RPC-411811-J's containment chamber and took the vial containing the item. These people then proceeded to pour RPC-411811-J onto every singe Authority document. Stricter containment protocols have been enacted.
WHY WOULD YOU POUR THE INK ON ALL THE DOCUMENTS NOW I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THEM AND IT HURTS MY MUTT EYES.
-Dr. Fartass
Addendum 411811-2:
Following another raid on RPC-411811-J's containment, this time to pour the substance ON THE FUCKING PRINTER PAPER WHY into multiple Authority printers, access has been denied to it's containment chamber.
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE MY SONAMY PORNOGRAPHIC FAN FICTION HAS BEEN RUINED BY THIS DUMB LITTLE INK I HATE YOU ALL AND I WISH WE NEVER LOST LIGHT THEME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-Dr. Fartass
Researcher's Note:
Following the discovery that Dr. Fartass does in fact like light theme and has been editing this article, he has been trolled, memed, jefed, and dare I say, powned2.