Forward: In addition to containing Major Anomalous objects, the RPC Authority also contains numerous Lesser Anomalous Items. These items are always Alpha in classification and frequently mundane in nature. The majority of lesser anomalous items are contained at Site 016 'The Warehouse'.
The Lesser Object Format can be found here under the "Lesser Object" section.
Designation: LO-001
Description: One (1) black Swingline 747 stapler.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever LO-001 is used and successfully dispenses a staple, its magazine is instantly repleted to its maximum capacity of 210 staples. As such, LO-001 appears to have an infinite amount of staples within it. Research is currently undergoing as to how LO-001 obtains these staples.
Designation: LO-002
Description: Blueprint paper and canvas
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Makes a 1/100th model appear of any building plan drawn onto it, and then becomes blank again.
Designation: LO-003
Description: Jar of mayonnaise
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The lid of the jar is impossible to move or turn no matter the force applied.
Designation: LO-004
Description: Pallet of lottery tickets
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When scratched, the amount won is anomalously deposited in the pocket of whomever scratched it. Maximum recorded winning amount is $25.00 USD.
Designation: LO-005
Description: selling display of sunglasses that says "Visit sunny California!"
Site Location: Site-009
Properties: When worn by a sentient creature, the view through the lenses changes to a sunny but unidentifiable Californian beach. Used by Site-009 to demoralize prisoners.
Designation: LO-006
Description: Samsung Galaxy A6
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held by a sentient creature, the phone will emit the sound of an explosion every thirty seconds.
Designation: LO-007
Description: Mechanical Pencil
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When placed on a surface, object will float 1.524 meters (5 feet) above the surface for five minutes before falling.
Designation: LO-008
Description: Solid iron statue
Site Location: Biological Test Site-40
Properties: Depicts Finnish smith deity Ilmarinen. Constantly maintains an even surface temperature of 106 degrees Celsius. Currently an integral part of Biological Test Site-40's emergency power generation systems.
Designation: LO-009
Description: 14 x Miniaturized Air-to-Air Nuclear Rockets
Site Location: Radiological Storage Site-68
Properties: Objects are functionally identical to AIR-2 "Genie" nuclear rockets at 300:1 miniature scale. Objects appear to function as normal, generating a 1.5kt nuclear blast when activated.
Designation: LO-010
Description: Artificial Pacemaker
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Causes painful heart fibrillation whenever its implantee makes a charitable donation or volunteers their time towards a charitable event or benefit. Otherwise functions normally.
Designation: LO-011
Description: IPhone 5s cellular telephone with a lightning bolt case
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item never runs out of charge. The material of the batteries is currently unknown and under study.
Designation: LO-012
Description: Pair of denim pants
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item renders the wearer invisible, however, only in the area the pants cover.
Designation: LO-013
Description: A 100-watt GE light bulb
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Light constantly emanates from the bulb even when it is not connected to a power source. Currently being used to light the Site Director's custom desk lamp.
Designation: LO-014
Description: A brand for cattle meat with an ancient Jewish inscription.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Makes a semi-sentient and fully loyal animated golem out of any quantity of meat branded. Meat will become inanimate and fall apart if the mark of the brand is removed or destroyed.
Designation: LO-015
Description: A species of mushrooms
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Mushrooms are made entirely of silica despite having the same growth cycle as common mushrooms. Only 3 grow at a time, a new mushroom growing when a previous dies.
Designation: LO-016
Description: A 22.7-kilogram sack of "jelly bean" candy
Site Location: Site-016 Missing
Properties: Eating the candy induces sensations of extreme euphoria. Candies are identical in chemical composition to non-anomalous instances.
Designation: LO-017
Example of the visual anomaly.
Description: Black-framed window pane
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Looking through the glass of the window pane reveals a dramatically different environment of the location than the current observed one. Scenes and environments displayed through the window are observed in daylight and are described as "dystopian, post-apocalyptic, deserted" or simply "the end of the world."
Designation: LO-018
Description: M16A1 Rifle
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: User will faintly hear Fortunate Son by the band Creedence Clearwater Revival upon the expenditure of the first cartridge in any loaded magazine. Persists until the rifle is reloaded.
Designation: LO-019
Description: Roll of toilet paper
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon observation, the paper of the roll will unravel in the opposite direction of the user's preference. Video surveillance shows the roll to be unopened and unrolled.
Note: This piece of fucking shit is going into the emergency supplies, I won't be dealing with this every god damn time I go take a shit in sector █ -Dr. ██████
Designation: LO-020
Description: Nintendo GameBoy video game system
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Users demonstrate greatly increased degree of focus and decreased reaction times when playing games.
Designation: LO-021
Description: Amazing! Co. "eco-friendly" computer mouse
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When plugged into a compatible device, LO-021 transforms into an otherwise ordinary specimen of Mus musculus1. In this state, LO-021 will still be attached to the computer via a USB cable extending from its tail. While transformed, LO-021 can still be used for regular input, with the left posterior foot replacing the left click button's function, and the right posterior foot replacing the right click button's function. Rubbing LO-021's back will perform the same function as a normal scroll wheel would. When unplugged, LO-021 will transform back into a computer mouse.
Designation: LO-022
Description: IKEA EKENÄSET Armchair
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When sat on, any language the user speaks is interpreted as Swedish.
Designation: LO-023
Description: Bugatti Veyron sports car
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon entering the vehicle, the user's personality changes, becoming both egotistical and elitist. This personality change is temporary, lasting approx. 5 days.
Designation: LO-024
Description: A 1982 film copy of Blade Runner.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When viewed on any screen, the viewer is anomalously transported into the world on-screen, and forced to become an extra for the duration of the film before being returned to their original position. Viewers describe being unable or unwilling to interfere with the production of the film outside limited walking ability.
Designation: LO-025
Description: A low-wattage coherent energy weapon
Site Location: Site-99
Properties: The weapon shoots a laser beam capable of releasing 1 kW of energy in a single blast. The handle and trigger were designed for a three-fingered creature. It is believed to have belonged to a Selohssa soldier prior to its recovery.
Note: Selohssa have yet to be documented in this solar system. This might mean that there are actual Selohssa in the solar system and not just probes. Though how it got to the moon of all places is beyond me. -Dr. Khan.
Designation: LO-026
Description: Immortal Fish Animate fish toy
Site Location: Site-███, Currently in the break room aquarium.
Properties: The fish needs no food and has not expired past its species' natural lifespan.
Fish has been found to be an incredibly well-made rubber toy, but still moves like a natural fish.
Designation: LO-027
Description: Adidas-brand Tracksuit
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When worn, The subject is only able to speak in English with a stereotypically "Russian" accent. If the subject does not speak English, they will immediately learn how to do so upon donning the suit.
Designation: LO-028
Description: A portable toilet
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When exiting, the user materializes outside of a seemingly random portable toilet anywhere in the world. Practical testing is ongoing.
Designation: LO-029
Description: Color digital camera
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When used to photograph a location, that location will suddenly experience optical anomalies similar in appearance to the northern lights phenomenon until the photograph is destroyed. Research is being made into any connection with RPC-050
Designation: LO-030
Description: One (1) CZ 75 semi-automatic pistol
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-030 appears to have an infinite amount of 9×19mm Parabellum cartridges in its magazine.
Designation: LO-031
Description: 30 ml of Human blood
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: Cells inside the blood seem to be able to conduct electricity extremely well. Chemical analytics shows blood to contain an unknown element.
Designation: LO-032
Description: One (1) Tyrannosaurus rex skull, carbon-dated to be 65,000,000 years old.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held, LO-032 will vocalize the phrase “Get rekt, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!” from the base of its skull.
Designation: LO-033
Description: One (1) red Pilot Acroball Ballpoint Pen, 14.2 cm in length.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-033 seems to contain an infinite amount of red ink. It’s hypothesized that a spatial anomaly exists somewhere within the tube that contains the ink.
Designation: LO-034
Description: One (1) pair of Nike™ Air Jordan IV "White Cement Colormax" sneakers.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item LO-034 increases the speed with which the wearer moves by approximately 110%. Fine motor control becomes difficult. Item kept in Site-016’s Alpha-White anomaly storage compartments.
Designation: LO-035
Description: One (1) wooden chair
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a human sits upon LO-035, the item will begin to levitate 10 meters off the ground. The item will return to an inert state and slowly return to the ground if the subject leaves the chair.
Note: Following several minor injuries, LO-035 is no longer available for use during Site-016 social events.
Designation: LO-036
"Queasy Green" Color.
Description: Fifteen (15) "Crayola" brand crayons
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When used to color, the last crayon used causes the emotional feeling described on the crayon, such as "Angry Red." When said color is used, all subjects reported an angry emotion. They had no recollection of what they are angry at. This property is the same with all other colors, such as "Feeling Down Blue," "Beaming Yellow," and "Afraid Lavender."
Designation: LO-037
Description: Ten (10) lbs of Flan
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject removes a piece from LO-037, the item will use a kind of cellular mitosis normally found in Asteroidea to regrow the piece removed. The item is kept in Site-016’s cafeteria. No harmful effects are found when eaten, may cause weight gain if overindulged.
Designation: LO-038
Description: Mauser C96 Pistol (Converted into "DL44" Blaster prop from the Star Wars franchise)
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon sight of the prop, all subjects will vocalize the phrase "Han schoot eerst!"2 in perfect Dutch, despite no prior knowledge of the Star Wars franchise or the Dutch language.
Designation: LO-039
Description: White, Amazing! Co. American Standard Toilet.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon sitting on the toilet and defecating in it, individuals express the realization of knowledge they didn't have before, as expressed by some users as "an epiphany". The object was discovered after installing it in one of the restrooms of Site-016 without prior inspection of the item's brand. Toilet stall has been labeled as "LO-039", personnel entering it to use it are to be provided a notepad and a pen in case they experience a revelation while using the object, to limit persistent graffiti problems.
Designation: LO-040
Description: Amazing! Co. brand, RPC Authority patterned gift wrap paper.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Items contained in boxes wrapped with the paper will transform into a varying size lump of coal. The object was recovered from a purchase made by Site-002 for Boxing Day preparations. The paper was tested due to its eye-catching print, revealing all gifts wrapped with it turned into lumps of coal.
Designation: LO-041
Description: Black Onyx statuette that has been worn by age, roughly resembles Ishtar of Mesopotamian myth, or the goetic demon Astaroth.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a piece of paper with an appropriate name of an existing person or entity is within 1m of the statuette, the edge of what is possibly a moon or a snake-like object in the right hand of the statuette will strike forward piercing the paper. The paper will then catch flame, and from that point on within one week of this event, the person or entity will appear before the subject and profess their love for them, and then physically hurt the subject in a way most personally painful to them before leaving or disappearing.
Note: It sure would be nice if a certain someone would stop using this to get me to traipse across the base just for a kiss every year! - Junior Researcher ███████
Designation: LO-042
Description: A copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams.
Site Location: Site-099
Properties: When opened, the contents of the book are replaced with, seemingly, an actual traveller's guide to the Milky Way galaxy. Practical use of this anomaly is ongoing, and its contents are currently being verified by astronomers.
Designation: LO-043
Description: A rubber dummy, commonly used in martial arts.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The object is capable of independent motion and demonstrates sapience. It is unable to move from its base, and does not appear to require nourishment of any kind to survive. RPC designation is pending.
Designation: LO-044
Description: One (1) bottle of Sprite soft drink
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When emptied, LO-044 immediately refills with more Sprite.
Designation: LO-045
Description: One (1) AK-47
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-045 is fired the item will vocalize several explicit words in the Russian language without firing any actual ammunition.
Designation: LO-046
Description: One (1) 4 x 4 meter glass pane
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The anomalous properties of LO-046 manifest when any biological substance or matter that is placed in front or behind the object will not appear to any observers.
Designation: LO-047
Description: One (1) Macbook Air laptop
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever LO-047 is opened, flames burst out of its screen. LO-047 is somehow not damaged by this.
Designation: LO-048
Description: One sanitary pad, ████ brand.
Site Location: Site-008.
Properties: Object will materialize on the underwear of male personnel entering the 3rd Floor, West Wing restrooms. The item will vanish afterward if not directly observed. Analysis of the item shows trace amounts of sweat and [REDACTED].
Note by Researcher Collins: Please calm down and stop reporting this thing. It's a harmless clean sanitary pad, it won't kill you guys.
Designation: LO-049
Description: Unknown Substance
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-049 is a dark corrosive substance that absorbs all forms of radiation. LO-049 is believed to be produced by RPC-240-Ω. LO-049 is currently under study at Site-███ by the Chemistry Department.
Designation: LO-050
Description: One (1) Teapot
Site Location: N/A. See properties
Properties: LO-050 is a common teapot located at coordinates + ██° ██' ██'' in █.██ au of distance from Earth, in the orbit of the Sun. Other than its existence, LO-050 demonstrates no other anomalous properties.
Designation: LO-051
Description: One (1) sheet of paper with the word "fuck" written on it in black felt-tip marker.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any human being who directly observes LO-051 will loudly proclaim that the object is "deep" and "says a lot about our society". The affected individual will also temporarily develop technophobia and prosophobia3 for a period of two weeks after exposure.
LO-052.
Designation: LO-052
Description: One (1) Safari Ltd. brand figurine of a pterosaur belonging to the Rhamphorhynchus genus. Figurine measures approximately 17.83 centimeters in length from tip of head to tail.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever a human finger is placed inside of LO-052's mouth, LO-052's lower jaw will spontaneously clamp upwards onto it, despite LO-052 seemingly having no physical means of doing so. LO-052's jaws can be forcibly pried open with minimal effort while in this state, and the finger can then be safely removed.
Designation: LO-053
Description: Four (4) Tomee™ brand Nintendo DSi styluses.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each instance of LO-053 anomalously produces black pen ink from its tip when placed upon a piece of paper. LO-053 will not display these properties when placed upon any other surface. As such, all four instances of LO-053 can be used both as a stylus and a writing implement.
Designation: LO-054
Description: One (1) male specimen of Hydromantes brunus4, measuring 6.25 cm in length.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: X-ray analysis, as well as limited biopsies, indicate that LO-054's skeletal system is entirely composed of polyethylene. Subject otherwise appears to be in healthy physical condition despite this anomaly.
Designation: LO-055
Description: One (1) vinyl record of Green Day's 2009 album 21st Century Breakdown.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When played on any record player manufactured after December 31, 1999, LO-055 will disintegrate the record player into elementary particles in a matter of seconds. Research has indicated that the time to complete disintegration is directly correlated with how far away from December 31, 1999 the record player was manufactured.
Designation: LO-056
Description: One (1) 0.56 cm3 sample of pumice.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Sinks instead of floating, despite being physically and chemically identical to ordinary pumice.
Designation: LO-057
Description: A black, Crayola-brand crayon.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can only be described in writing using black-colored text. Using any other color leads to smears and smudging, making the description unreadable, even in a digital interface.
Designation: LO-057
Description: A white, Crayola-brand crayon.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can only be described in writing using white-colored text. Using any other color leads to smears and smudging, making the description unreadable, even in a digital interface.
Designation: LO-058
Description: One empty cylindrical salt shaker, measuring 4 cm height, and 2.5 cm diameter.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held, shaker anomalously fills with salt. The amount varies depending on the current emotional state of the holder; distress, anger or other negative emotions increases the quantity. Analysis of the salt reveals it to be identical in structure to non-anomalous sodium chloride.
Designation: LO-059
Description: One (1) TC-223 Rolling Office Chair
Site Location: Currently stored dismantled at Site-016
Properties: When sufficient weight is applied, LO-059 will begin rolling in the direction its seat is facing, gradually gaining speed. The current highest velocity achieved was roughly 80mph after 6 minutes.
Note: LO-059 has been dismantled and locked behind level 3 clearance following the injuries sustained by Dr. ████████ and Officer █████ in a supposed 'workplace accident'.
Designation: LO-060
Description: Daisy Red Ryder Model 1938b BB gun
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: BB’s fired from LO-60 explode violently upon impact, with explosive force comparable to a standard fragmentation grenade.
Hand engraving found on stock reads, "You'll shoot your eye out!"
Designation: LO-061
Description: Surface damaged US quarter piece
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If a simple yes or no predictive question is asked and the coin is flipped, the outcome predicts the answer to the question asked.
Note: Stop using this to find out what color underwear the staff are wearing. It embarrasses everyone.
Designation: LO-062
Description: Collection of 18 paper documents
Site Location: Site-016 Anomalous Document Archive
Properties: Documents contain a series of hand-drawn visual cognitohazards which render human beings incapable of speaking in or comprehending words of more than one syllable. Effect naturally dissipates within 12 hours of exposure. Documents created as part of early Authority memetics research in 1932.
Designation: LO-063
Description: A meteorite of unknown composition
Site Location: Site-099
Properties: The phrase "We apologize for the inconvenience." found carved in one side in standard English.
Designation: LO-064
Description: A 40yr old man with an average build and height
Site Location: N/A
Properties: Whenever LO-064 activates a traffic crossing button, the lights at the traffic system in question will immediately switch to allow LO-064 to safely cross the intersection. Due to the frequent disruptions this has created, LO-064 has been relocated to ██████, Virginia, a town with no electronic crossing systems.
Designation: LO-065
Description: A collection of various holiday photos taken by holidaying Authority personnel
Site location: Site-016
Properties: A rare phenomena will occur (<10%) when personnel return from vacations that swap every person visible in the photographs with the image of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The image will pose as the original person had and will share the same facial expression.
Designation: LO-066
Description: A 6.35cm tall Slinky-brand spring toy made from high-grade blue-black Swedish steel.
Site Location: Site-16 storage
Properties: When pushed down a flight of stairs with a flipping motion, LO-066 will immediately demanifest and reappear at the bottom of the stairs.
LO-067
Designation: LO-067
Description: One (1) antique tripod-mounted spyglass.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Looking through LO-067 causes the viewer to be teleported to the location they were viewing. Additionally, the viewer's size will change should LO-067 be used to view something too close to LO-067. See experiment log for more details.
Designation: LO-068
Description: One (1) Leopard 1A5 Main Battle Tank (Outfitted with Rheinmetall L/44 120mm cannon)
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Subjects operating LO-068 will percieve all other motorized ground vehicles within their line of sight as Soviet T-72 tanks, and will feel compelled to fire upon them.
LO-069
Designation: LO-069
Description: Ten (10) female Gallus gallus domesticus5 of the Silkie breed.
Site Location: Agricultural Site-042
Properties: Instances grow fleece instead of feathers, at a rate analogous to domestic sheep, and do not produce eggs. Regular shearing is required to maintain physical health.
Designation: LO-070
Description: Twenty-three (23) kilograms of lime-flavored Jell-O.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When ingested by a mammalian organism, LO-070 will induce a soporific state in the subject with a duration directly proportional to their body weight and the amount of product consumed. Research is underway for possible reproduction and usage in insomnia medication production.
Designation: LO-071
Description: One (1) copy of Johnny Test: Season 6 on DVD.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: After visual perception of any of its contents, subject will experience regular auditory hallucinations resembling the cracking of a whip for a period of 24 hours.
ＬＯ－０７２
Ｄｅｓｉｇｎａｔｉｏｎ： ＬＯ－０７２
Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ： Ｏｎｅ （１） ｃｏｐｙ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ａｌｂｕｍ Ｍｅｇａ ｂｙ Ｂｌａｎｋ Ｂａｎｓｈｅｅ ｏｎ ｖｉｎｙｌ．
Ｓｉｔｅ Ｌｏｃａｔｉｏｎ： Ｓｉｔｅ－０１６
Ｐｒｏｐｅｒｔｉｅｓ： Ｃａｎ ｏｎｌｙ ｂｅ ｄｅｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ ｗｉｔｈ ｆｕｌｌ－ｗｉｄｔｈ ｔｅｘｔ， ｒｅｇａｒｄｌｅｓｓ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｍｅｄｉｕｍ ｉｔ＇ｓ ｂｅｉｎｇ ｄｅｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ ｉｎ．Ａｄｄｉｔｉｏｎａｌｌｙ， ｉｎｄｕｃｅｓ ａ ｔｅｍｐｏｒａｒｙ ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇ ｏｆ ｅｕｐｈｏｒｉａ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｌｉｓｔｅｎｅｒ ｗｈｅｎ ｌｉｓｔｅｎｅｄ ｔｏ ｆｏｒ ａｎ ｅｘｔｅｎｄｅｄ ｐｅｒｉｏｄ ｏｆ ｔｉｍｅ．
Ｎｏｔｅ： Ｐｏｓｓｉｂｌｅ ｌｉｎｋｓ ｔｏ ＲＰＣ－９５６ ａｒｅ ｂｅｉｎｇ ｉｎｖｅｓｔｉｇａｔｅｄ．
Designation: LO-073
Description: Four hundred and twenty-six (426) Allium cepa6.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When cut, instances of LO-073 release an unknown gaseous chemical that when ingested via respiration causes ingestees to immediately and violently lose control of their bladder functions. This chemical replaces the syn-propanethial-S-oxide7 present in non-anomalous onions.
Designation: LO-074
Description: One (1) Nokia 3310 cellular telephone, manufactured in 2000.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item appears to be completely indestructible. Tests have shown it to withstand temperatures in excess of 10,000 degrees Kelvin, nearly 7.7 x 10^8 kilopascals (kPa) of pressure, as well as continuous submersion in fluoroantimonic acid8 for over two and a half years.
LO-075.
Designation: LO-075
Description: A rubber bouncy ball, measuring 1.07 centimeters in diameter and weighing 0.16 grams.
Location: Unknown. Hypothesized to be in low earth orbit.
Properties: When bounced upon a surface, the kinetic energy of LO-075 increases, rather than decreasing due to the transferral of kinetic energy to the surface it bounces off of. Subject exceeded escape velocity on ██/██/1989 and has since been suspected to be within low earth orbit.
Addendum: Subject is widely believed to have caused substantial damage to a Verizon communications satellite on ██/██/2007, likely increasing its velocity in the process. Due to the inherent risk LO-075 poses to satellites and spacecraft, containment and/or termination procedures are currently being drafted, and classification to full RPC status is pending.
Designation: LO-076
Description: One (1) Red Clown Nose
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When worn by a human, people around them will begin to laugh uncontrollably and will continue to do so until the wearer takes off the nose.
Designation: LO-077
Description: A slightly damp piece of bread
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Entity is intelligent and capable of human speech. When interviewed, LO-077 will relentlessly mock site personnel, while discussing classic literature.
Designation: LO-078
Description: A vase containing three (3) instances of Helianthus annuus9
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When smelled by an individual with a deceased or missing family member, they will later have a pleasant dream involving the family member. Grieving subjects will also begin to accept the loss of the individual sooner than would typically be normal.
LO-079
Designation: LO-079
Description: An autographed photograph of U.S. Senator Bernard "Bernie" Sanders, circa 2016.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When viewed in person by anyone with legitimate United States legal tender or methods of payment10 on their person, the entirety of it will disappear and anomalously relocate to Senator Sanders' personal bank account. Credit cards will be immediately drawn to their credit limit, while debit cards will lose the entirety of their relevant account's balance.
Note: "Well, there goes my [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] paycheck for the week." - Junior Researcher ███████.
LO-080-AR prior to neutralization.
Designation: LO-080-AR
Description: A small terracotta pot, formerly measuring 8 centimeters in diameter.
Site Location: Neutralized. Fragmented remains stored at Site-016.
Properties: Subject radiated an abnormal amount of heat, with temperatures consistently measuring approximately 76.111°C.
Addendum: LO-080-AR was accidentally dropped during routine maintenance on 04/15/1998, and shattered into pieces. Remains displayed no anomalous properties. Subject's file was later archived on 4/19/1998.
Designation: LO-081
Description: A sticky note with a crude image of male genitalia drawn on it in black permanent marker.
Site Location: Site-016.
Properties: Any male subjects who view it will immediately have an erection. Anomalous properties do not work on those with erectile dysfunction.
LO-082-1 through -6.
Designation: LO-082
Description: A collection of six (6) Silly Bandz, depicting a seahorse, an octopus, a seal, a shark, a dolphin, and a penguin.
Site Location: Site-016.
Properties: When worn on a subject's wrist, each instance of LO-082 grants a different anomalous property to the user. LO-082-1 materializes an elastic pouch on the subject's stomach, LO-082-2 grants the subject the ability to spray ink from their tear ducts at will, LO-082-3 grants the subject a heightened sense of balance and greatly increases their body fat percentage, LO-082-4 sharpens the subject's teeth and grants them the ability to detect blood from up to a kilometer away, LO-082-5 grants the subject the ability to communicate using sonar via clicking their tongue, and LO-082-6 grants the subject the ability to survive temperatures of up to -89.6°C without ill effects. These changes immediately revert as soon as the corresponding LO-082 instance is removed from the subject's wrist.
Designation: LO-083
Description: A Yamaha YBB-641 tuba, with an additional fourth valve.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Playing LO-083 while holding down the fourth valve produces an anomalous infrasonic frequency that causes human beings in earshot to lose control of their bowel functions.
Note: "In the aftermath of the 'Brown Note Incident', I'm formally requesting a neutralization order for LO-083. This is too much of a contamination risk to have in the facility." - Rebecca Sisan, Director of Site Security
Designation: LO-084
Description: An M16A3 assault rifle.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When directly and visually observed, the object appears as a pink plastic spork. Photographs, video or digital images of the object are unaffected. When fired, bullets appear to emerge from the empty space directly in front of the utensil. Ejected cases only become visible when they strike a solid object. Any object attached to the item, such as magazines or optical sights, become invisible.
Designation: LO-085
Description: A single copy of a book by ████ █████ about perseverance.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Can not be destroyed by any means, including fire, brute force, or [DATA EXPUNGED]
Designation: LO-086
Description: A standard chessboard, manufactured by █████.
Site Location: Recreation room at Site-002.
Properties: Whenever a piece is legally moved, a piece on the opposing side will move in response. Entire games can be played. Illegal moves will not be responded to. If the board leaves the direct line of sight or observation of any human being after a game has been played to completion, the positions of the pieces will reset.
Designation: LO-087
Description: A standard pepperoni, olive, and mushroom pizza cut into 5 slices.
Site Location: Lunchroom at Site-082.
Properties: All slices spontaneously reappear within the Site-082 lunchroom within 12 hours of the entire pizza having been consumed.
Designation: LO-088
Description: One (1) copy of The Last Jedi on DVD.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Fans of the Star Wars series pre-Disney acquisition will experience temporary acute rage. 25% of those who watched it show an increase of analytical intelligence. The affected will proceed to write an extensive four-hour long analysis piece of the film. By 24 hours, these effects will dissipate.
Note: This isn't exactly an uncommon behavior though. Maybe it's a collective cognitive response?
Additional Note: Wait, these are the same exact effects we've seen when the movie was released in theaters. We haven't even discovered its effects until one of our own researchers came across a copy of the DVD.
Designation: LO-089
Description: One (1) Xbox One S Game Console (With Amazing! Co. Sticker)
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-089 only runs 1 game, said game being Battlefield 1. If Battlefield 1 is run on the system, it will manifest as a game about RPC-943, designated LO-089-1. Otherwise, the game is non-anomalous
Note: The Authority has made copies of LO-089-1, entitled "Battlefield 943". Site-016 staff often engage in "LAN Parties" of Battlefield 943 during break hours.
Designation: LO-090
Description: One (1) Box of Cigars of Unknown Brand
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If a cigar from LO-090 is used by a live human subject, they will begin to refer to themselves as "Sam Woodward". If the subject is exposed to a camera in this state, they will begin to face the camera, vocalizing the phrase "Well hello ladies". This state lasts for approximately 7 hours.
Designation: LO-091
Description: A copy of Zoo Tycoon 2: Ultimate Collection for the PC.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Contains a new expansion pack not present in other copies entitled "Anomalous Excursion." This expansion pack contains fifty-three (53) digital facsimiles of various anomalies contained by the Authority, a partial list of which has been provided below. Barring the effects of the in-game RPC-834, the game is otherwise non-anomalous. Any staff that make an appointment with Head Researcher Harley are allowed to play LO-091, and all gameplay is to be screen-recorded through an external recording device.
| Anomaly | In-Game Name | Biome | Description |
| RPC-014 | Rhino Killer | Savanna | A large, bipedal organism. Can be placed with the in-game menu, but also naturally manifests inside the exhibits of the black rhinoceros, white rhinoceros, Javan rhinoceros, and woolly rhinoceros in order to kill them. Exclusively consumes a new food item entitled "Rhino Meat".11 |
| RPC-046 | African Quilled Dog | Savanna | A small, quilled dog. Can fire its quills at predators and prey to kill them. |
| RPC-088 | Ramjet Cow | Grassland | An aerodynamic bovine capable of propelling itself into the air and flying at high speeds. As such, no forms of fencing can properly contain it. Using a combination of tank walls and elevated paths to create a closed-roof environment will only result in RPC-088 smashing through the tank walls to escape. |
| RPC-134 | Pinta Island Tortoise | Coastal | A tortoise. Can interbreed with Galapagos tortoises, which will create digital instances of RPC-134. |
| RPC-141 | Moai Guardian | N/A | A large Moai statue. Available as a building for $50,000. Requires no upkeep fees. In its passive state, zoo guests will observe it as a statue, and comment on it. When a dinosaur rampages12, the in-game instance of RPC-141 will activate, run to the rampaging dinosaur, destroying any obstacles in its path, and physically assault it until it loses consciousness, before re-entering a passive state. |
| RPC-170 | Adorabugs | Temperate Forest | A small spider. Guests bitten by digital RPC-170 instances will perceive them as "cute" and donate large amounts of money to their exhibit when applicable. In addition, they will also perceive littered water bottles, the pursuit ball, the scratching post, the monkey puzzle tree, the medium benthic rock, and the Jeep Wrangler as cute, and donate money to exhibits or tours containing them as well. |
| RPC-197 | Fenrir | Alpine | A large wolf. Impossible to contain with the selection of in-game fences due to its teleportation ability being present as well. Can talk to zoo guests and staff, and integrate itself into wolf packs, typically as the alpha.13 |
| RPC-207 | Dolphin Soldier | Coastal | A dolphin with markings resembling scars on its body. Has a tab listing its thoughts, akin to a zoo guest or staff member, unlike other animals. |
| RPC-218 | N/A | N/A | A man in a dark suit and fedora. Will occasionally enter the zoo as a guest, especially after events resulting in a large number of guest casualties, or when a large number of anomalies are in the zoo. Cannot be clicked on.14 |
| RPC-286 | The Squirrel | Boreal Forest | A squirrel. Upon death, it will respawn, and its corpses can be recycled for $1. If left unattended to, it will escape from an exhibit in order to kill as many zoo guests and staff as possible. In one particular instance, it repeatedly electrocuted itself to death using the electric dinosaur fencing around its exhibit, before escaping by climbing a stack of its own corpses and jumping over the fence. |
| RPC-375 | Giant Tardigrade | Temperate Forest | A large tardigrade, or water bear. When provoked by a predator15, it will grow the size of its predator (or in the case of a smaller predator, remain the same size), expand its mouth around the attacker, and begin consuming it.16 |
| RPC-644 | Atypical Arowana | Tarponical Rainforest | A black Arowana. As expected, its Zoopedia17 profile is full of fish puns. |
| RPC-705 | Nurse Urchins | Coastal | A pair of sea urchins. Available as a plant under the foliage tab. Presence in the tank of a sick animal will slowly reverse the effects and heal it over time. |
| RPC-834 | Altered Forest | Altered Forest | A new biome resembling a Swedish forest. Animals placed within the biome will mutate similarly to what would be observed in RPC-834, but do not necessarily align with actual results. Reported instances include a dodo bird with blade-like feathers and large wings capable of flight, a Prezwalski's wild horse with abnormally long, muscular legs and five additional tails, and a Stokesosaurus that mutated into an intelligent18 reptilian humanoid entity. |
| RPC-850 | Hungry Rat | Grassland | A rat. Instances are capable of eating every food item, plant, and almost all animals in the game, and have a critical hunger level19 that cannot be depleted. |
| RPC-992-02 | Seabed Ningen | Benthic | A large aquatic creature with two human-like arms, resembling a Ningen from Japanese folklore. Prefers to observe zoo guests from the far corners of its tank. Will temporarily disappear when approached by the player, staff, or other animals. |
Designation: LO-092
Description: An oil painting of an unfamiliar nightscape. Indeterminate figures can be seen in the foreground.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When visually observed, LO-092 instills a profound sense of loneliness and isolation in the viewer. Analysis of the stars in the background reveal it to be painted from the perspective of someone in the Pegasus Dwarf Irregular Galaxy.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-093
Description: A vinyl bobblehead of a Grey alien, in the style of a Funko Pop-brand figurine.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-093 continually transmits a radio wave aimed somewhere in the Eridanus constellation. Analysis of the contents of this radio wave reveals it to be messages in an unknown, presumably extraterrestrial language. A small-scale Faraday cage has been constructed around LO-093 to prevent any further transmissions.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Additional Note: Subject was recovered approximately three (3) years before the debut of the first Funko Pop figurines at SDCC 2010.
Designation: LO-094
Description: A jet-black spherical object, measuring approximately 34 cm in diameter.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Tungsten and tungsten alloys within an approximate 3.57-meter radius are sucked into LO-094's surface and deemed unrecoverable. Other materials remain unaffected. Additionally, LO-094 floats approximately 1.28 meters off of whatever surface it is placed on.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-095
Description: An otherwise non-anomalous talking Bart Simpson doll, manufactured in 1990.
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: None.
Note: Subject was found in a series of small craters located in the Sea of Serenity shaped so as to spell out the phrase "Eat my shorts!" from an aerial view. The subject was retrieved via the usage of a remote rover, and transported to Lunar Site-019.
Designation: LO-096
Description: A toy resembling a dodecahedral Rubik's Cube, with variable coloration in various shades of blue, purple, and red. Subject is slightly spongy to the touch.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subject emits various vocalizations in an extraterrestrial language when a row, column, side, or the entire dodecahedron is completed. Current analysis by Authority linguists reveal it to possibly be messages of an encouraging nature. Current hypotheses suggest it was possibly designed as an extraterrestrial toy or stress reliever.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-097
Description: I'm the one, the light and the life, the alpha and the omega, the word of God. I am also 31x15cm and my spine is 6cm thick.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: I emit a glorious aura from my pages, and the glorious incandescence of the father bathes all within my radius of 5m. I am a King James and must be read by those with faith or my pages will dim. Anyone telling my praises will speak from my voice and have my words.
Note: Item recovered ██/██/2019. from a used book store that reported the anomalous activity online, and was intercepted for 2.99 USD. (The memetic effect of LO-97 was found to be avoidable if no part of the description was tied to it directly.)
LO-098.
Määramine: LO-098
Kirjeldamine: Üks (1) Eesti Lipu Nõel
Saidi Asukoht: Saidi-016
Omadused: LO-098 saab kirjeldada ainult eesti keele abil. Igasugune katse kirjeldada LO-098 mõnes muus keeles toob kaasa arusaamatu kelmuse.
Note: Rough translation (accounting for properties): OBJECT can only be described using the Estonian language. Any attempt to describe OBJECT in any other language results in unintelligible gibberish.
Designation: LO-099
Description: LO-099 is a standard DND(Dungeons & Dragons) set of game manuals, figurines, and assorted papers for playing of the tabletop board game. All paper included and playing manuals are 6X22X29cm and are non-anomalous until play begins. Miniatures vary in size between 5cm and 30cm.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When the GM(Game Master) begins the story and the required amount of players are present, all players will experience visual and auditory hallucinations of the events that are described in one of the four provided campaign stories. Players and the GM are seen moving pieces normally and declaring actions. Acting as if they are the characters they represent while doing so. This effect ends when the story has concluded, whether it is won or lost. LO-99 has no other anomalous effects and was found to be playable in a regular state when fewer players were used or pieces were removed.
Note: Item was recovered ██/██/2019 and was purchased originally at the same location as LO-97. A minor investigation has begun into the store itself and the history of the surrounding area for this reason. It had been returned by over 30 separate customers and was reported as being haunted on the personal blog domain ██████.com/SpookyCustomerProducts.
Designation: LO-100
Description: Bobo Icemk
Site Location: Bobo Icemk
Properties: Bobo Icemk! Bobo the ice mk! Icemk bobo.
Note: the object is a dog. The anomalous properties of the object are quiet unusual. If directl described, aall text will change, dispalying itself as “Bobo Icemk” !!! It also appears that any attempt to circumvent this will result in a botched attempt of the description’s tone. Siad tonal errors enclude: poor speiling, Random tangents, like that one time I went fishing when I was off duty- what was I saying again? I remember. Seemingly random punctuation;, and overall poor quality. This is currently! unavoiable. anyways, back when I said random tangents, yeah. That was interesting. Reminds me of the time I was but a lowly MST grunt. Those were the days. What I wouldn't give to go back.
Designation: LO-101
Description: A ████ brand bar of soap.
Site Location: Site-279
Properties: When being held, the item exhibits a decrease in friction, invariably slipping away from grip and landing on the floor with the branded side up. Subjects around the area express heightened expectation and a sudden interest on the object, with reluctance to picking it up. The item later returns to its holster by unknown means when out of sight, with the effects dissipating. Using the object for its intended purpose shows no wear on the item whatsoever.
Designation: LO-102
Description: A large egg, formerly measuring about 11.4 centimeters in diameter, with a cheetah-print pattern.
Site Location: Site-279
Properties: Egg hatched into a female Acinonyx jubatus20after 94 days in incubation. The subject, hereby designated as LO-102-2-1, is healthy, but X-ray analysis of the reproductive organs indicates a series of egg-producing and laying organs similar to that of an oviparous animal. LO-102-2-1 was transported to Site-279 for further research, and to attempt to set up a breeding program in order to further study its reproductive anomalies.
Note: LO-102-2-1, as well as any hypothetical parents, siblings, or offspring, has been given the tentative scientific name of Acinonyx jubatus ovumalgarum, as of ██/██/2018.
Additional Note: Subject was recovered from an Albanian street vendor named Alban Ismail, who claimed to be selling "authentic cheetah eggs." Upon interrogation, Ismail revealed that nineteen (19) additional instances were sold for 3300 Albanian Leks21 each. When pressed on where he obtained the eggs, Ismail refused to answer, even under threat and eventual application of force. Funds obtained from the sale of LO-103 instances have since been seized. Ismail was given the tentative designation of a PT-03 POI, and has since been detained at Site-009 for further questioning.
Designation: LO-103
Description: An adhesive bandage strip with no apparent brand.
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: When the item is applied to any open wound in a way that successfully apposes the borders of the wound (Cut, ulcer, burn or even firearm wound) it accelerates the rate of healing and scarring, cutting the time it would normally take to heal by half. However users report loss of key events from log term memory the longer it takes to heal the wound. Item is currently contained at Site-008, available for use by medical personnel to treat minor wounds.
Designation: LO-104
Description: One (1) CD Case containing a disc labeled "Super Street Fighter IV RPCDX Turbo"
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can be played on any game console from the 7th generation22 onwards. Appears to be a completely new game based on the engine of Street Fighter 4, where the character roster is made up entirely of anomalies contained by the Authority, with some exceptions23. Besides the mechanics of the in-game depictions of RPC-068 and RPC-686, the game itself appears to present no other anomalous effects. The game also contains a bonus stage, where the player is tasked with destroying a car that resembles LO-023.
Partial LO-104 Character Roster
| Anomaly/Individual24 depicted | In-Game Name | Description |
| RPC-016-5 | N/A (Item number) | In game, RPC-016-5's moveset is made up mostly of projectile based combination moves, although players can adapt to a situation where close range fighting is required. |
| RPC-068 | The Librarian | Unable to perform basic moves. Instead, the player is given a new "Notebook" mechanic. With the use of a keyboard, 068 will attack with whatever the player has typed in. There are limits, as anything that can instantly kill a non-anomalous human will result in slight damage to the player. |
| RPC-204 | HAZMAT | HAZMAT's moveset appears to be highly similar to that of the character Noob Saibot from the Mortal Kombat series, in which a clone of the initial fighter assists the player. Dealing damage to the wrong HAZMAT present on screen will inflict said damage on the opposing player. |
| RPC-371-3 | Box | Box's play style is heavily focused on movement and agility, with it making use of its tendrils to move quickly. Does bonus damage if paired with Soyuz. |
| RPC-384 | N/A (Item number) | Moveset is primarily based upon illusion, much like the in-game depiction of 204. An "Easter egg" is triggered in the event where RPC-384 has to fight HAZMAT, where the game will reference their similar play styles. |
| RPC-470 | The Mountie | In game, The Mountie's play style is highly aggressive, with the most effective moves being at close range. RPC-470's pocket dimension is also depicted as a stage within the game, although it does not provide any benefit to The Mountie. |
| RPC-471-1 | Rick Harrison | Despite being a joke character, Rick Harrison's moveset is quite effective. It relies on sound-based attacks, which will hurt the opposing player by annoying them. |
| RPC-556-2 (occupying RPC-556-1) | Soyuz | Soyuz's moveset makes use of various over-time effects, such as its corrosive saliva. Will do bonus damage if paired with Box. |
| RPC-644 | Fish | RPC-644 is depicted to be in control of a small mech suit within the game, being a "tank" character. Makes fish puns as combat dialogue. |
| RPC-686 | Nadia | Nadia's playstyle appears to be hybrid of movement-based and projectile based attacks making use of various uses involving firearms. However, Nadia also has a unique mechanic related to its health system. Although appearing to have the lowest amount of health in the game, Nadia has a unique "lives" counter appearing next to its health bar, which starts at 3. If "knocked out", Nadia will get back up after a period of 3 seconds, at the cost of a "life." when the number of lives reaches 0, Nadia is finally considered to be knocked out, which will either win the game or switch to the partner character, depending on the game's mode. |
| RPC-745 | Augustin | Augustin is the game's "jack of all trades" character, being average in every category. Augustin's moveset consists primarily of both projectile based and melee attacks, with movement based moves being less common. |
| RPC-886 | Shiomi | Prioritizing a defensive playstyle, Shiomi is capable of deflecting or reflecting enemy projectiles, while using handmade talismans to block attacks or briefly stun attackers up for followup attacks with close-range pyrokinesis. If used in a tag-team match, Shiomi's tagged-in partner will gain temporary protective benefits from any activated talismans for a few seconds. If pit against AMERICA FUCK YEAH Shiomi will express disdain for the "obnoxious display", but otherwise functions the same. |
| RPC-908-2 | Vadim | Vadim's moveset consists mostly of "stun" attacks, using RPC-908 to slow down the opposing fighter's movement. This is referenced in combat dialogue when facing said characters, where Vadim will say "Not so tough when you can't move, are you?" |
| RPC-248-J | Almond Mom | Joke character. All attacks do minuscule damage, and Almond Mom has the lowest amount of health in the game. |
| RPC-FREEDOM-J | AMERICA FUCK YEAH | One of the most powerful characters within the game, AMERICA FUCK YEAH's moveset is both sound based (playing a very loud rendition of The Star Spangled Banner on an electric guitar, and projectile based (AMERICA FUCK YEAH's large arsenal of firearms.) |
| CSD-673125 | N/A (CSD Designation) | CSD-6731 serves as a "glass cannon" type character, with low health but high damage attacks. Moveset is diverse, featuring at least one of every type of attack in the game. |
| Anomaly-197-1 | Zhao 17 | Zhao 17's play style is near identical to that of Augustin's, with the exception that it prioritizes projectile-based attacks. Zhao 17 is the only character to lack combat dialogue, with it only speaking at the start of the match. |
Designation: LO-105
Description: One (1) unmarked cassette tape, manufactured in 1984.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If LO-105 is inserted into any compatable device, it will proceed to play Mr. Brightside by The Killers. Every attempt to overwrite the contents of the tape has been unsuccesful.
Notes: LO-105 was recovered in 1994, 10 years before the release of Mr. Brightside.
Designation: LO-106
Description: One (1) textbook entitled Disorderly Conduct
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If the user attempts to order LO-106 in any given list, the list will shift to depict LO-106 to be ordered incorrectly. Any attempts to correct the list will result in further damage to the list's order. Due to the anomalous properties of LO-106, the succeeding lesser anomalous object is to be to designated LO-106.
LO-107.
Designation: LO-107
Description: One (1) MP3 Player manufactered in 2011.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If LO-107 is used to play any mp3 media, all users within range of hearing will each hear a different song that is seemingly chosen at random.
Notes: LO-107 was recovered due to a report made by the daughter of Dr. █████ ████ when she apparently bought the object in a common technology store.
Designation: LO-108
Description: A female Oriental Longhair cat.
Site Location: Site-016 (Under the personal care of Dr. Dalia ████████)
Properties: LO-108 is measured to be about 4.5 kilograms and 55 centimeters without its tail, possesses 6 legs, and black non-reflecting sclera. LO-108 is confirmed to be blind and possesses an enhanced sense of smell and hearing. Subject appears to not be slowed down by its additional limbs, being able to run faster than the average cat and climb surfaces with ease. The feline shows no abnormal signs of aggression towards the monitoring staff, however it does not accept physical contact with any individual other than it's personal caretaker Dr. Dalia ████████. Further tests to record behavior during periods of increased sexual drive pending.
Designation: LO-109
Description: One (1) Leather Aviation Cap
Site Location: N/A26
Properties: When worn by a living subject, they gain a large amount of "Luck". This allows the subject to avoid most lethal encounters. However, this effect is at the expense of their personality, as the individual will become extremely unlikable.
Designation: LO-110-AR
Description: A Heineken-brand bottle cap.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subjects who visually perceived LO-110-AR experienced an intense desire to chew on it.
Notes: Destroyed after an unfortunate interaction with CSD-1032, whose jaw structure was drastically altered by RPC-███, resulting in a notable increase in the subject's bite force.
Designation: LO-111
Description: A human female with vulpine ears, eyes, and tail with black hair and fur.
Site Location: Site-031-2
Properties: Entity is capable of creating thaumaturgic fire from its hands at will.
Notes: LO-111 is known to be an instance of a mass produced model from the "Sacred Flame Kitsune" range of products made by the GOI known as Kabushiki Kawaii.
LO-112
Designation: LO-112
Description: A rubber duck.
Site Location: Site-016, formerly Site-027
Properties: LO-112 functions identically to a rubber duck unless buried in any substance with similar consistency to soil. When provided with water, LO-112 will sprout a small tree with red bark and yellow, duck-shaped leaves. In addition, a single new instance of LO-112 will be grown from the tree, falling from the tree a day after blooming.
Addendum: LO-112 was utilized in the creation of RPC-735. However, due to LO-112's nature, an additional instance was created and later retrieved from Site-027 and relocated to Site-016.
LO-113-AR
Designation: LO-113-AR
Description: A spot robot identical in appearance to those produced by Boston Dynamics.
Site Location: Neutralized, formerly Site-027
Properties: LO-113-AR is a spot robot that mimics the behavior of a standard household cat. It functions without power and is generally friendly to staff it interacts with. The claw arm attached to the top of the robot functions independently of the main body. It will attempt to "bite" anything that gets close that it perceives to be alive. The claw arm is equipped with a muzzle to prevent any injuries when dealing with LO-113-AR.
Addendum: LO-113-AR was utilized as the body of RPC-735. As there appear to be no means of separating it from RPC-735, LO-113-AR is effectively neutralized.
Designation: LO-114
Description: A quill.
Site Location: Formerly Site-027, currently stored within RPC-735
Properties: LO-114 is a writing quill that, when ink is applied, is capable of writing in air, or what has been dubbed "3D writing" by some staff. Anything draw with this ink will be fully functional as if it were made of ordinary materials. However, LO-114 is unable to be used to create weapons such as guns and swords. Attempting to do so will still create an object that can be interacted with, but any gun will not shoot and any sword will not cut. The cause of this still is unknown.
Addendum: LO-114 is currently stored within a chamber in the center of RPC-735. Attempts to retrieve it are being considered.
LO-115-AR in an inactive state
Designation: LO-115-AR
Description: A colonial organism resembling sand.
Site Location: Neutralized, formerly Site-027
Properties: LO-115-AR is a colonial organism that resembles a pile of sand when inactive. The individual grains of LO-115-AR are also identical in appearance to a grain of sand, with the exception of the presence of an elytra-like structure. When in need of food or needing to move for other reasons, the entire colony will open their elytra and unfurl insect-like wings. The colony moves as a single mass, and moves in a similar manner to how a jellyfish would move in water. The colony seeks out rocks or metal to consume, though will always prioritize the former. Any consumed rock or metal will be brought to the center of LO-115-AR and converted into more colony members. Any member who is removed from the mass will instantly lose their anomalous properties.
Addendum: LO-115-AR was absorbed into RPC-735, where the primary function of the colony was shifted as well as several members expiring and being uses as a form of armor. As such, LO-115-AR is effectively neutralized.
LO-116-AR
Designation: LO-116-AR
Description: An eyeball with neural connections split into 8 tentacle like structures.
Site Location: Neutralized, formerly Site-027
Properties: LO-116-AR is an eyeball which has had its neural connectors lengthened and split into 8 separate arm-like structures. Each arm is approximately a meter in length. LO-116-AR is able to manipulate these arms in a manner akin to an octopus. LO-116-AR is also capable of plugging these arms into existing neural structures or similar structures. Though LO-116-AR is incapable of boring through animals to reach these regions, it is more capable of digging up a plant's roots and connecting there. However, this can only be used as an energy source for LO-116-AR. Following Incident-116-L, reclassification of LO-116-AR into an RPC object is pending.
Addendum: Currently utilized as they eye and controlling consciousness of RPC-735. While it is considered neutralized, it could alternatively be considered reclassified as RPC-735 due to its prominent role in its existence.
Designation: LO-117
Description: A human male with reptilian scales covering various parts of its body. Also has reptilian eyes and a reptilian tail.
Site Location: Site-009
Properties: Entity possess the ability to freely change the colour of its skin in a manner similar to that of a chameleon.
Notes: LO-117 is known to be an instance of a mass produced model from the "Chameleon" range of products made by the GOI known as Kubushiki Kawaii.
Designation: LO-118
Description: A 10.5 inch audio reel tape, designed to play ten seconds of layered, complex tonal frequencies on a constant loop.
Site Location: N/A
Properties: Brief exposure to anomalous frequencies yields no long-term physical damage. The tape itself plays at extremely low volume, as even the most powerful speakers barely emit 30 decibels; Electronic enhancement only seems to increase white noise and obscure the actual subject of the recording. Regardless of volume, listeners exposed to the anomalous frequency claim to hear "the perfect guitar solo". Several researchers with musical training were asked to dictate, with most attempts ending in the musician growing frenzied and depressed. Subjects claim they could not recreate what they'd heard, or insist that repeated observations of the tonal pattern continued to yield varying results.
Recovery: RPC-235 was seized from Studio Z27 on March, 1965. Frank Vincent Zappa, who was renting the recording studio at the time, was suspected of creating the tape in question. Coinciding with reports of unexplained mania connected to the location, initial investigations suggested that Frank Zappa was unaware of RPC-235's anomalous properties. This was quickly disproved, however, after a series of missives from The Academy of True Art were discovered during the search and seizure. Vice squad was tipped off, and a raid conducted, tasked with confiscating suspected pornographic material. Three RPC agents were planted on the vice squad to seize RPC-235 without alerting civilians or authorities. While the raid was successful, Studio Z was later found to be unrelated to the anomalous activity in the area.
Addendum: Provides treatment for temporary relief of RPC-234-2.
Designation: LO-119
Description: A .3 x .3 x .3 meter 'Rubix Cube' bearing an immeasurable amount of densely packed cubes.
Site Location: Site-077's low risk anomalous object storage wing.
Properties: The value of cubes LO-119 possesses constantly changes, with it's average amount being around 85,000. Subjects attempting to 'solve' LO-119 report an inability to do so, and begin to experience intense emotional distress when met with failure.
Designation: LO-120
Description: A lamp post that is unable to be perceived without the aid of Leptosiderine.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-120, previously owned by the late John Beckham, who had lived in Pittsburgh, PA, USA. The object was discovered to have anomalous properties after John had fallen down a flight of stairs after tripping on it.
Notes: LO-120 has been instrumental in a large chunk of Viderical experiments. As such, its primary housing is located in Site-002's Research & Laboratories Level.
Designation: LO-121
Description: An undocumented anomalous flora resembling a street light composed of wood.
Site Location: Site-031-2
Properties: LO-121 emits radio waves that allows network connection and high speed internet to any device that requires Wi-Fi. The top of LO-121 has a spherical mass that emits visible light at around 180 lm.
Additional: LO-121 was created by RPC-550 during Test-550-35 on ██/██/████.
Designation: LO-122
Description: One (1) Cardboard Box with the GEAR logo on each side of the box.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-122 is filled with fifty (50) dark chocolate bars. Each bar is 30 cm in length and 1.2 cm in width. Once all fifty chocolates bars, designated LO-122-A, are consumed, the box will immediately refill with fifty instances of LO-122-A. Examinations of LO-122-A instances reveal that they are composed of Cocoa Powder, Cocoa Bean, Cocoa Butter, Chocolate Liquor, Vanilla, and Sugar. Each instance of LO-122-A is estimated to have 100 calories per bar.
Additional: LO-122 was given to the Authority during a meeting between GD-██ and a representative from GEAR. LO-122 came with a note on the side that reads as follows:
To one of the sweetest and most powerful women on this planet.
From your secret admire,
P.S. I heard you like chocolate.
Additional: LO-122 is currently being used in Site-016’s cafeteria as an ingredient in various food items.
Designation: LO-123
Description: Manual-transmission top-loading waste disposal vehicle containing several thaumaturgic symbols etched into the interior frame and floor of the hull.
Site Location: Site-016 Vehicle Storage Zone
Properties: Upon activation of the truck, individuals inside the vehicle's hull experience high levels of apprehension toward occult markings in the metal before being fatally attacked by an incorporeal entity.
LO-123 was recovered from a garage in a derelict building in the Democratic Republic of the Congo in January 2003 by UNISAAF peacekeepers initially tracking another potential anomaly in the area. Upon unloading the truck, the remains of sixty civilians were discovered, all marked with deep lacerations from no discernible source. DNA samples obtained after the vehicle was transferred over to the Authority revealed profile matches corresponding to over 1,000 people. The Department of Keballics also uncovered thaumaturgic symbols carved onto metal frames inside the truck, some of which were ethnic indicators for several populations in Central Africa.
While attempting to transport the truck to a secure location, a rear-door hydraulic lift broke, slamming a UNISAAF infantry soldier inside the vehicle, shattering both of their legs on the chassis. After several seconds, an invisible entity began to viciously assault the soldier, before other peacekeepers could open the door and rescue them. Before succumbing to their injuries, the soldier stated the entity attacking him was a human being wielding a machete, matching the description of a known African reality-bending warlord.
Properties: Causes any event or media involving it to play out in reverse sequential order.
Site Location: Site-016
Description: A cassette tape of the 2000 crime-thriller film Memento.
Designation: LO-124
Designation: LO-125
Description: Three (3) liters of an unknown fluid designated Dihydrogen tetra█████████.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Anything submerged into the fluid for more than 20 seconds will be spatially displaced to an unknown location. Test to recreate the fluid have resulted in failure. It is hypothesized that the atoms in the fluid are bonded together by some form of unknown or anomalous chemical bond. The fluid was recovered by RPC-251-A during an exploration of an alternate universe Earth.
Designation: LO-126
Description: 65 kg of an unknown meat contained within a crate with the Amazing Co! logo on each side.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: The crate and the unknown organic material have no anomalous properties. Test conducted on the organic material reveal it to be Silicon based. The crate arrived at Site-002 on ██/██/████ with a paper note found on top of the object. It reads as follows:
Some Alien Meat For Our Friends At Site-002 From Your Friends At Amazing Co!.
Designation: LO-127
Description: An unknown implement of extraterrestrial origin, hypothesized to be similar in function to a stapler. Subject is pale blue in coloration, and is slightly spongy to the touch. Subject is covered in a number of small papillae, which are slightly darker in coloration.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When pressure is applied from the top, LO-127 will pulsate for several seconds before squirting an extremely adhesive glue-like substance downwards from a small orifice. X-ray analysis reveals there to be an internal organ that continually manufactures this substance.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-128
Description: Fifty-seven (57) unknown objects of extraterrestrial origin, hypothesized to be similar in function to sticky notes. LO-128-1 through -32 are pale green in coloration, while LO-128-33 through -57 are pale blue in coloration. All instances are slightly spongy to the touch, and have a number of pores on their underside.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subjects continually secrete a small amount of the glue-like substance seen in LO-127 from the pores on their underside. X-ray analysis reveals a similar internal organ to LO-127's. Research into any biological connection between the two are underway.
Note: Subjects were acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-129
Description: A snow globe loosely depicting the events of the Barney and Betty Hill UFO abductions on September 20th, 1961. A small vintage car28 with two model passengers resembling Barney and Betty Hill can be seen driving down a forested highway surrounded by trees.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When shaken, a UFO resembling a flying saucer will materialize within the globe, above the model car. A light will shine from the bottom of the UFO, as the car (with both passengers inside) is lifted inside the spacecraft. The UFO will then dematerialize, with the snow globe resetting back to normal after two (2) hours have passed.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-130
Description: A metallic 1 x 1 meter object made of many intersecting cubes and triangular pyramids at random intervals.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When in the hand of a sapient being LO-130 will expand and release blue gas composed of an unknown substance designated LO-130-A. When LO-130-A is inhaled by any subject, they will suffer from a form of memory loss that removes a subject’s memory of events that occurred ten (10) hours prior to LO-130-A exposure. Collection of LO-130-A gas for experimentation for the production of a form of amnestic gas is currently underway.
LO-130 was found during a containment breach at a Project Blue Book warehouse. MST Zulu-92 (Unknown Object Thieves) encountered LO-130 while moving through a sub level of the warehouse when the team encountered a tall humanoid with many arms hovering off the ground. The humanoid, now designated LO-131, carried LO-130 in one of its many hands. Zulu-92 opened fire on LO-131 terminating it instantly. The team retrieved both LO-130 and LO-131 extracted the objects safely off-site.
Note: Currently, LO-130 is being considered for RPC designation.
Designation: LO-131
Description: The cadaver of a three (3) meter tall humanoid with 20 arms. The head of LO-131 appears to have a mask like object composed of an unknown organic material physically bonded to its face.
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: Though LO-131 is currently considered neutralize, several anomalous properties have been observed. Every three to six weeks LO-131 will begin to levitate 3 meters off the ground. During this period LO-131 will anomalously transmute all steel with a 4 meter radius into anti-thaumaturgic steel29. LO-131 will remain levitating for 3 hours, after this period it will violently fall to the ground. Another anomalous property of LO-131 doesn’t show any signs of decomposition.
Organic testing reveals that LO-131 is composed of a magnesium based organic compound. Further examination of LO-131 are currently underway.
Designation: LO-132
Description: One deceased instance of Anomaly-197-1.
Site Location: Site-038
Properties: Every thirteen (13) hours, LO-132’s organic composition will change from being carbon based to any non-Earth Metal element. Every time this chemical change happens LO-132’s body will release high amounts of thaumaturgic radiation that will lead to minor spatial distortions measuring 5.29177 × 10-11 m.
LO-132 was found by two (2) Authority agents embedded within the People’s Committee of the Acquisition of Anomalous Objects (PCAAO) investigating reports of a missing Anomaly-197-1 instance. The instance was found dead three (3) kilometers from a PCAAO facility. The agents collected the body and retrieved it to Site-038.
Designation: LO-133
Description: Thirteen (13) objects of similar design to Anomaly-198-B instances.
Site Location: Site-038
Properties: When LO-133 is handled by an Anomaly-197-1 instance, it will grant them the ability to bend light around the object and the Anomaly-197 instance effectively making them practically invisible.
LO-133 was given to the Authority by a group of thirty-one (31) Anomaly-197-1 instances that defected from the People’s Committee of the Acquisition of Anomalous Objects (PCAAO). The group caused a large containment breach releasing several high threat anomalies. According to the leader of the Anomaly-197-1 defective group, designated Jacob, claims that LO-133 are not part of the original Anomaly-198, but duplicates created via a hostile anomaly in PCAAO containment that is capable of duplicate objects and embedding said objects with new anomalous properties.
Designation: LO-134
Description: One-Hundred (100) 1915 German Stielhandgranate, also known as Stick Hand Grenade.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When an LO-134 instance detonates it will release various spores, designated LO-134-A. When LO-134-A makes contact with soil, various forms of flora will begin to grow at a rapid rate. 80% of flora produced by LO-134-A have been found to be non-anomalous in nature.
LO-134 was found by MST Whiskey-94 (Nazi Hunter Requiem) during a raid on GARD warehouse. LO-134 was found being produced by several anomalous GARD combatants. The conflict resulted in five casualties on the Authority’s side, but resulted on the termination of 51 GARD personnel both non-anomalous and anomalous.
Designation: LO-135
Description: One (1) Ball Point Pen
Site Location: N/A; Currently in the possession of the Association for Ecclesiastical Primacy (AEP).
Properties: LO-135 will float thirty-five (35) centimeters off the ground. Ink expelled from LO-135, designated LO-135-A, will group together to form a singular mass of ink. This mass, designated LO-135-B will begin to hover 2 to 10 meters off the ground depending on the mass of the LO-135-B instance.
Designation: LO-136
Description: Forty (40) 40 x 40 x 40 centimeters cubes composed of a carbon based organic compound.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-136 reaches a certain speed and makes contact with an area containing human beings, LO-136 will expand to a size of 9 m3 in an attempt to crush any humans within its range.
LO-136 was found in a Church of Malthus stronghold in Syria by MST Yankee-54 (Bonded By Sand) on September 19th of 2002. It is believed that LO-136 were being used by Church of Malthus combatants as an anomalous substitute for hand grenades.
Designation: LO-137
Description: One (1) USB of unknown make.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-137 is placed within any computer’s USB port the entire computer will be engulfed by a spatial anomaly that will cause it to disappear. Once five (5) minutes pass the spatial anomaly will disappear to reveal a pile of human feces of equal mass of the computer. LO-137 will be found at the top of the pile.
Designation: LO-138
Description: An organism that resembles an office chair.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-138 is capable of locomotion via its wheels. When an organism sits on top of LO-138, various tendrils will form from the bottom of LO-138 and attempt to embed themselves into the body of said organism. LO-138 will try to siphon off nutrients from the organism using its tendrils.
LO-138 was found by Two Authority agents in Olympic National Park. The agents encountered LO-138 siphoning nutrients from one Rana Cascadae30.
Note: It is currently being debated whether the object meets the requirements for RPC designation.
LO-139, immediately following recovery.
Designation: LO-139
Description: One (1) Gucci-brand GG Supreme black backpack.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject adorns LO-139, the subject will begin to exhibit signs of severe obsession with the Gucci brand and will suffer from a severe compulsion to acquire products made by Gucci. The effect still remains after the removal of LO-139 from the subject, and appears to worsen over time. Subjects under the effect of LO-139, hereby designated as LO-139-A instances, can be cured from LO-139's anomalous properties via the use of Class B amnestics.
LO-139 was previously in the custody of Tyrone ██████, theorized to be the first LO-139-A instance. On 7/13/2018, Tyrone drove to a Gucci store in ██████, Florida and demanded that the employee working there give him everything in the store. When the employee refused, the man pulled out a gun. The following is a transcript of security footage from the store during the incident.
LO-139/Video File
Location: ██████, Florida
Date: ██/██/████
Subject(s): Tyrone ██████, designated LO-139-A-001, and Gucci employee, Sarah ████████.
<Begin Log>
LO-139-A-001: Give me all the fucking merch! Right the fuck now!
LO-139-A-001 pulls out a handgun from his pants.
Sarah: Please don’t shoot!
LO-139-A-001: Don’t make me fucking repeat myself! All your merch, now!
Sarah: I can’t do that, please, don’t shoot me!
Sarah begins to cry.
LO-139-A-001: You don’t understand, but you will.
Sarah: Understand what?
LO-139-A-001: You’ll see.
LO-139-A-001 pulls out LO-139 from a bag and hands it over to Sarah.
Sarah: What?
LO-139-A-001: Put it on!
Sarah: Why?
LO-139-A-001: Put it the fuck on right now!
Sarah reaches for LO-139 and adorns it on her back.
Sarah stops crying and begins to place her hand over her head. At this point Sarah is hereby designated LO-139-A-002.
LO-139-A-002 begins to grab various products and stuff it within her shirt.
LO-139-A-001: I told you to give that shit over!
LO-139-A-001 fires 3 shots at LO-139-A-002. Two shots miss LO-139-A-002, but the third strikes LO-139-A-002 in the abdomen.
LO-139-A-001 jumps over the clerk's desk and begins to loot LO-139-A-002’s body. Police sirens can be heard in the distance.
<End Log>
LO-139-A-001, as well as LO-139, were taken into police custody following the incident. LO-139-A-002 was taken to a nearby hospital, but expired shortly after due to internal hemorrhaging . An Authority agent embedded within the local police department confiscated the footage and interviewed LO-139-A-001. The agent was able to determine LO-139's anomalous properties, and both LO-139 and LO-139-A-001 were taken into Authority custody. LO-139 is kept in an Alpha Class item storage chamber at Site-016. LO-139-A-001 is kept in an White Class containment chamber at Site-███.
LO-139-A-001 Interview Log
Interviewed: LO-139-A-001
Interviewer: Agent Richard Chen
Foreword: Agent Chen assumed the guise of a Florida police officer throughout the course of the interview. During the interview, LO-139-A-001 exhibited severe levels of hostility, as well as symptoms similar to that of withdrawal. LO-139-A-001 remained uncooperative until faced with the (false) prospects of being reunited with LO-139, at which point he began to provide information about the incident and LO-139.
<Begin Log, 6:12 PM, 7/20/2018>
Agent Chen: LO-139-A-001, do you know why you're here today?
LO-139-A-001: El oh… the fuck you on, nigga? My name's Tyrone.
Agent Chen: Answer the question, LO-139-A-001.
LO-139-A-001: …You calling me by my fuckin' inmate number?
Agent Chen: Standard protocol dictates that I refer to you using your LO designation. Why did you attempt to rob the Gucci outlet a week ago?
LO-139-A-001: You dumb or something? I was in your fuckin' cop car, you can't guess? Where's my motherfucking bag?
Agent Chen: Answer the question, LO-139-A-001.
LO-139-A-001: I know you have my bag, motherfucker! Give it to me!
Agent Chen: We'll give you back your bag as soon as this interview is complete.
LO-139-A-001: Hold up, deadass?
Agent Chen: Of course. Now, tell me why you attempted to rob the Gucci outlet last week.
LO-139-A-001 appears calmer, and breathes for a few moments before speaking.
LO-139-A-001: You don't understand. I needed everything in that store.
Agent Chen: Why did you need everything in the store?
LO-139-A-001: I just did. You don't get it, man.
LO-139-A-001 sighs, placing both his hands on the side of his face.
LO-139-A-001: If you had the bag, you'd know.
Agent Chen: We have some idea of what happened. You gave it to the cashier, correct?
LO-139-A-001: The lil' honey mama? With the nose piercing?
Agent Chen: Yes. The "little honey mama" you shot.
LO-139-A-001: Nigga, she was taking my drip! The fuck you expecting?
Agent Chen: Well, certainly not second-degree murder. Were you?
LO-139-A-001 appears visibly distressed by this statement.
LO-139-A-001: Wait… oh no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't- I didn't mean to… kill her.
Agent Chen: Armed robbery, unauthorized possession of a concealed firearm by a felon, resisting arrest, second-degree murder? That's life. Unless you cooperate, that is.
LO-139-A-001: I- I don't want to go back. I can't. Not without the bag.
Agent Chen: You said earlier that if we had the bag, we'd know. Mind explaining?
LO-139-A-001: I-it made me… see it. The truth. I have to have Gucci. I have to, I HAVE to. The bag is the beginning, I need all of it.
Agent Chen: I see.
LO-139-A-001: Thank you.
Agent Chen: I see that you're aiming for an insanity plea, that is. Do you think anyone's going to seriously believe that story? "It wasn't me, officer! The bag told me to do it!" You took an innocent woman's li-
LO-139-A-001 slams his fist on the desk.
LO-139-A-001: -WHY WOULD I LIE, MOTHERFUCKER?
Agent Chen: Because you don't want to spend the rest of your life rotting in jail, obviously.
LO-139-A-001: YOU THINK I'M SCARED OF YOU?
Agent Chen: (mockingly) "Oh, no officer! I-I can't go back to jail! Not without my baggie!"
LO-139-A-001: YOU'RE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER!
Agent Chen: Threatening a police officer. That's a new one.
LO-139-A-001: I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS!
Agent Chen: (standing up) I think we're done here. Security?
LO-139-A-001: THIS ISN'T OVER! WHERE'S MY BAG? WHERE'S MY FUCKING BA-
Agent Chen leaves the room. Security personnel enter the room, and LO-139-A-001 is forcibly restrained.
<End Log, 6:28 PM, 7/20/2018>
Closing Statement: Shortly after the interview, LO-139-A-001 was forcibly restrained and sedated. Following this incident, LO-139-A-001 has shown a marked increase in hostility to law enforcement and Authority personnel, completely refusing to cooperate with any requests, even under threat of lethal force.
Update: As of ██/██/2019, LO-139 is currently awaiting RPC designation.
Designation: LO-140
Description: One cardboard box.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject makes contact with LO-140, an object, designated LO-140-A, will spontaneously manifest within LO-140. LO-140-A instances are usually non-anomalous in nature. Items produced by LO-140 usually have some form of connection to the subject’s past.
The following is a series of tests conducted with LO-140:
LO-140/Test Logs File
| Test # | Subject | LO-140-A Description | Notes |
| 001 | CSD-1294 | Several broken parts of an AR-15 assault rifle | “CSD-1294 was arrested for murdering is family with an AR-15 assault rifle.” - Dr. Shanon |
| 002 | CSD-7381 | One (1) Teddy Bear of unknown make | “This is the same teddy bear my mom made for me. I’ve been looking for this ever since I was ten. It’s a shame she passed away so early.” - CSD-7381 |
| 003 | CSD-1829 | One (1) Samsung Galaxy S5 with a cracked screen. | “This looks exactly like phone my dad bought me for the 6th grade. Man I would use this phone for hours just talking to friends. To her. Heh.” - CSD-1829 |
| 004 | Dr. Addams | One (1) diamond encrusted wedding rings | “My wife lost this when she was attacked. She went into a depression afterwards. She gets depressed every time she looks at the hand that once held this ring. I can’t wait to return this to her.” - Dr. Addams |
| 005 | Dr. Francis | One (1) bowl of chicken noodle soup | “This tastes exactly of how my mom use to make it.” - Dr. Francis |
| 006 | Dr. █████ | One (1) miniature figuring resembling RPC-███ | “I’ve known her since we were both kids, RPC-███. She fell in love with me when we were young, but I was too nervous to reciprocate her feelings due to her being known as the “Black Sheep” of the neighborhood. One day she had enough and went on-. You know what just read the RPC file.This is going to get too personal.” - Dr. █████ |
| 007 | Dr. Gomez | One (1) Xbox 360 gaming console | “Oh man I remember this. Me and the boys would gather around the TV and play Minecraft on split screen. Man good times.” - Dr. Gomez |
Designation: LO-141
Description: Twenty (20) sheets of paper describing the blueprints for a Sector 100 within Site-002.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When any personnel reads about LO-141, said personnel will begin to believe in the existence of a Sector 100 within Site-002. There have never been any plans for a creation of a Sector 100 and there is no evidence of a Sectors 100 ever existing.
Level V CREDENTIALS ACCEPTED
Any personnel who claims to believe in the existence of a Sector 100 should be reported to site director, Alan Walsh Sullivan.
The following is an example of one of the twenty files of LO-141, designated LO-141-01:
LEVEL III CREDENTIALS ACCEPTED
| Designation | Description | Notes |
| Severe31 Sector Containment Wing | This sector is made up of many large containment cells each measuring 40 m3. The entire sector would be 3 km3 in size. | N/A |
| Extracontextual32 Research Center | The sector would take up 50 m3. Various machines for experimentation with spatial anomalies can be seen throughout the blueprint | It’s Real |
| Sector 100’s Cafeteria | Depicts a 15 m3 room with multiple table. | Your friends and colleagues were here when it happened |
| Personnel Safe Room | A 10 m3 room with a heavy blast door in the front. | This is where most of us are at |
| Emergency Broadcast System Room | A 5 m3 room containing multiple security and emergency systems. | We stay in the dark awaiting our salvation |
Emergency Response System: A corruption has occurred in this file. Please remain where you are. Blacksite MST Alpha-37 (Data Redacted) has been sent to your location. Do not resist apprehension or you will be terminated. Alpha-37 will administer amnestics shortly.
| We’re here | Below Site-002 | Save us |
Emergency Response System: Blacksite MST Alpha-37 are outside your terminal station. Do not resist being administered amnestics.
| Authority 1920 | Authority 1920 | Authority 1920 |
LO-142
Designation: LO-142
Description: A black "Magnum" Sharpie.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-142 can only be lifted or moved by a male human mammal amniote33 with sufficiently large external genetalia. This criteria appears to adjust itself based on the average penile length for a given species.
Note: "As a reminder, LO-142 is not to be removed from storage without explicit written permission, and certainly is not to be used for dick measuring contests at the annual Site-016 Christmas party. I would like to say I'm appalled, but frankly, I'm not even surprised at this point." - Assistant Site Director Dr. Herschel Gibbins
Designation: LO-███
Description: A Lesser Anomalous Item slot with the designation of ███.
Site Location: N/A. All sites with access to the Lesser Anomalous Items document
Properties: Any anomalous items describe and given the slot designation will have its designation redacted. Authority researchers hypothesize that LO-███ is caused by a bug hidden within the Authority database. Currently there is no evidence of such a bug’s existence.
Designation: LO-144
Description: Ten (10) cadavers of an unknown humanoid species.
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-144 will emit 980 mSv of gamma radiation. Test conducted on samples collected from LO-144 show that the LO-144 are genetically similar to Homo sapiens sapien. Due to physiological differences between the LO-144 cadavers and Homo sapiens sapien researchers working with the anomaly have taken to calling LO-144 “Homo sapien infectus”.
Designation: LO-145
Description: A smart phone with the words “A! Phone Prototype 1” in Helvetica Neue font plastered on the back.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-145 is powered on the Amazing Co! logo will show up on the screen and take the subject to the main menu. The main menu of LO-145 shows ten applications designated LO-145-A-01 through LO-145-A-10. Below is a list of all LO-145 applications and their function:
| Designation | Application Name | Description |
|---|---|---|
| LO-145-A-01 | Phone | Application works like how a regular call to dial application works. A subject can make normal calls to anyone. When LO-145-A-01 is used to call a phone of a subject who is comatose or deceased, an unknown entity designated LO-145-A-01-A will answer LO-145 mimicking the voice of said comatose or deceased subjects. LO-145-A-01-A will begin to advertise multiple Amazing Co! products to the subject using LO-145-A-01-A. |
| LO-145-A-02 | Amazing Bay Prototype 0.01 | An application similar to that of EBay and Amazon that shows multiple Amazing Co! products. The application shows the ability to purchase said products on the application, but attempts to purchase said products have been met with failure. |
| LO-145-A-03 | Camera | A non-anomalous camera application. |
| LO-145-A-04 | Photos | A non-anomalous application where photos taken with LO-145-A-03 are stored. Prior to LO-145’s containment, LO-145-A-04 contained four images. An image depicting the surface of Venus, an image depicting the surface of Mars, an image depicting an Authority facility, and an image of a white wall with the phrase, “Sector 100, Authority 1920” painted in a red substance. |
| LO-145-A-05 | Youtube | A non-anomalous video viewing application. |
| LO-145-A-06 | Watch Amazing Ver. 0.01 | Opening the application will show one video file. When played the file shows a cartoon that depicts the history of chocolate. |
| LO-145-A-07 | Market App Ver. 0.5 | An application that predicts the future of a country’s economy. |
| LO-145-A-08 | Enemy Finder Ver. 1.0 | When a subject activates the application a virtual map of the area will appear. When something believed by the subject to be threatening enters a one (1) kilometer radius a red dot will appear on the virtual map that marks the current location of said threat. |
| LO-145-A-09 | Leviathan Ver. 0.01 | When the application is viewed by a subject, video footage of a large unknown creature, designated LO-145-A-09-A will appear. The video footage appears to be a live-stream of LO-145-A-09-A moving throughout space. It is believed that LO-145-A-09-A is currently moving through the galaxy cluster designated CL J1001+0220. |
| LO-145-A-10 | Authority Site Finder | When the application is activated it will show the subject the nearest Authority site. |
LO-145 was found in the possession of an Adeline ████████. Adeline used LO-145-A-10 and made her way to Site-016. When interrogated, Adeline claims to have no information of the Authority and our workings. When asked how she came in contact with LO-145, she claims that it showed up in her house on March 23rd 2014.
Designation: LO-146
Description: A DVD copy of “Star Wars The Clone Wars” season 1.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject views LO-146 in its entirety, said subject will believe events from the series occurred in reality.
Designation: LO-147
Description: A pile of one-hundred (100) sheets of toilet paper of an unmarked brand.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: No matter how many sheets are removed from the pile the number of toilet paper will remain at one hundred. LO-147 was found in one of Site-002’s janitorial closets.
Designation: LO-148
Description: One pair of shoes with the Amazing Co! logo on the side.
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: When LO-148 is worn by a subject on the lunar surface, said subject will be able to traverse the lunar surface as if they were on Earth surface. When a subject wears LO-148, they will require space suit to survive the lunar environment as it appears that LO-148 provides its wearer with oxygen through an unknown method. LO-148 was found in the use of PoI-███ to traverse the lunar surface.
Note: PoI-███ is currently awaiting transfer to Site-009 due to it being held as a high value person of interest to the AEP.
Designation: LO-149
Description: One unremarkable wooden door
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When the door is opened by a human subject it will take them to ████████ ███ with in Site-002.
Note: Currently LO-149 is designated as neutralized as it was destroyed by RPC-███ on it’s containment breach on ██/██/████
Black Site File: Access Granted
Designation: LO-149
Description: A wooden door with the phrase, “Authority 1920, Sector 100” on both the front and back sides of the door.
Site Location: Black Site-002-Ω
Properties: When a subject enters through LO-149 they will begin to grow large tumors around the head and neck region. Once the subject attempts to return, LO-149 will close behind them trapping the subject within Sector 100.
Designation: LO-150
Description: One (1) 2018 Ford Focus
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: N/A. LO-150 was found within the Tycho crater on the lunar surface. LO-150 appears to be fully operational.
Designation: LO-151
Description: One (1) pair of wooden chopsticks with the phrase, “Give me Asian food!!!” scribbled on both chopsticks in black sharpie.
Site Location: N/A. Currently buried under the ████████████ Chinese Breakfast & Buffet.
Properties: LO-151 is constantly levitating. LO-151 will travel to the closest restaurant that produces Asian cuisine. Once LO-151 arrives to the location of a place that sells Asian cuisine, customers within the restaurant will experience a slight increase in the quality of the food. It is unknown wether the arrival of LO-151’s arrival to a restaurant causes the quality of the food to increase or whether LO-151 affects the expectations of the costumer.
Designation: LO-152
Description: One (1) M1911 pistol with an unknown device found within the weapon. A small switch that has to settings designated “Deadly” and “Safety”.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-152 is set to “Deadly” and loaded, LO-152 will work as a proper M1911 pistol. When LO-152 is set to “safety”, loaded, and aim at a subject viewing the weapon, LO-152 will create a series of rapid flashes of light that creates a memetic anomaly that causes a subject who observe the flashes to enter a comatose state. Subjects will remain in this comatose state for twenty-four (24) weeks.
LO-152 was found within a GARD facility by MST Papa-45 (21 Raiders & Thieves).
Designation: LO-153
Description: A mundane copy of volume 1 of the manga Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any heterosexual human male that reads the volume in it’s entirety will instantly develop homosexual tendencies. At the time of writing there is no known way to prevent this.
Designation: LO-154
Description: One (1) board game with similar rules to Monopoly with the Amazing Co!. logo on the side. The phrase “Amazing Monopoly 2 - Electric Boogaloo”.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-154’s anomalous properties when two or more players begin playing LO-154. When a player wins, through an unknown process, LO-154 will deposit 100 USD in the winning players bank account.
Designation: LO-155
Description: one (1) generic 30cm(12 inches) stainless steel tongs with the number “419” printed on its handle.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-155 when grabbed by a person while making skin contact, they gain increased proficiency in cooking with grills. The current theory is that the data are stored inside the LO-155 itself and while LO-155 is grasped the subject has access to the data within LO-155 temporarily. This is comparable to a USB connection to a computer. It can access the USB’s data while connected without it being downloaded into the computer. LO-155 can differentiate different types of touch from grabbing. It is theorized that the number 419 is supposed to represent that LO-155 is the 419th invention of its creator. LO-155 is able to survive 1473 Kelvin (1200°C) and is able to stay in shape even after 1270 kilograms of force (12454,45 Newtons) is acted upon it. LO-155 limit of insusceptibility is unknown, though because of its mundane nature and mild usefulness, it will no longer be tested.
Designation: LO-156
Description: One (1) Panasonic camera of unknown type, manufacture date circa 1992
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-156 will transform into a clone of American filmmaker George Lucas for exactly 17 minutes once every 24 hours. This effect appears to trigger at random.
Designation: LO-157
Description: Ten (10) Organisms that resemble that of a Samsung A20.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-157-1 through LO-157-10 are able to obtain nutrients by absorbing particles in the air via an orifice located on the very bottom of the organism. The organisms are able to obtain energy by photosynthesizing light. Research into LO-157 instances reveal they have eukaryotic cells.
LO-157-1 through LO-157-10 were found on a raid on an APAS34 site on 02/01/2001.
Designation: LO-158
Description: One Pair of Wooden Earrings.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When worn by a female of any age they will experience feelings of extreme euphoria. This experience will last for as long as LO-158 is worn. Once LO-158 is taken away from a subject, the subject will experience feelings of depression.
LO-158 was found in the home of PoI-████ (Monica T. Corazon). PoI-████ was taken into Authority custody for interrogation. It is believed that PoI-████ has connections with an APAS auction site in the area of Miami, Florida.
Designation: LO-159
Description: One (1) Metallic Box with the words “Bullets” painted onto each side.
Site Location: Site-010
Properties: When an item is placed within the box the item will turn into a mass of bullets equal to the mass of the original mass of the object placed within the box. LO-159 was given to the Authority by PoI-████ (Timothy Q. Giovani) after defecting to the Authority from the group of Interest known as AEP or The Association.
Designation: LO-160
Description: One (1) Canis lupus.
Site Location: Site-002, previously contained in Site-014
Properties: LO-160 anomalous trait is its size. LO-160 is 55 mm in length. Previously, LO-160 was Dr. Yannis’ service animal given the name “Barker”. “Barker” is believed to have made contact with RPC-███ during Site-014’s destruction which is hypothesized to be the reason of LO-160’s anomalous properties.
Designation: LO-161
Description: ███████ Brand Kids’ Frisbee
Site Location: Site-022
Properties: When rolled, LO-161 will anomalously bounce 12.2 centimeters every 4 meters at 12 kilometers per hour and will roll through any material in its path without interference. Currently, LO-161 can only be stopped by concrete.
Designation: LO-162
Description: One (1) IKEA Brand KALAS Spoon
Site Location: Site-022
Properties: Has a human hand where the handle ends. This hand generates body heat, and attempts to grasp the fingers of anyone wielding LO-162. Subjects holding LO-162 note feeling relaxed, even in the most stressful of situations.
Designation: LO-163
Description: One (1) Alchemically combined liquid composed of liquid tungsten and RPC-████.
Site Location: Site-001
Properties: LO-163 is exhibits the unusual property of increasing in temperature when cooled and decreasing in temperature when cooled. Another property of LO-163 is to completely vaporize when exposed to oxygen or carbon dioxide gas. Producing a sample of LO-163 requires an individual to perform the rite of █████ while having 13.9 g of tungsten in its solid state and 83.1 g of RPC-████ in its liquid state in close proximity in a basic alchemical circle with various ████████ attached for the circle to provide power to it.
Designation: LO-164
Description: 5.5 Five (5) kilograms of fully cooked Linguine pasta.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each strand of pasta is fully animate and exhibits behavior similar of Lumbricus terrestris35. LO-164 instances are fully edible and exhibit no I’ll effect prior to consumption. LO-164 was discovered in a Publix36 located in Miami, Florida when employee, Antonina ██████, discovered ██ boxes of pasta with the label:
Amazing Pasta II by Amazing Co!
Antonina observed the boxes moving and proceeded to dump the content of each box on the floor revealing LO-164. Antonina recorded footage of the anomaly and uploaded it to the social media application known as “TikTok”. Authority personnel were able to take down the video and four agents were sent to apprehend LO-164 and amnestisize Antonina ██████.
Designation: LO-165
Description: One (1) cylindrical glass cup
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-165 is held in the hands of an individual suffering from dehydration, the object will materialize water. The amount of water materialized is equivalent to how dehydrated a subject feels.
Designation: LO-166
Description:One (1) plastic doll resembling the Nintendo character known as “Princess Peach”.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject vocalizes any negative statement towards or about the video game company Nintendo, LO-166 will vocalize various insults and threats toward the subject for 30 seconds. LO-166 focalization are also similar to that of the Nintendo character known as “Princess Peach”. It is believed that LO-166 is sapient, but only for the duration it is able to make focalization. The following is an interview conducted with LO-166.
Interviewer: Dr. Prost
Interviewee: LO-166
<Begin Log>
Dr. Prost: Fuck Nintendo.
LO-166 properties are activated.
LO-166: What the fuck did you just say you old fuck!
Dr. Prost: LO-166, we’d like to condu-
LO-166: Shut the fuck up I will fuck your mother and kill your whole family if you don’t shut the fuck up you dumb motherfucker.
Dr. Prost: LO-166, we do not have time for your-
LO-166: I’m gonna-
Dr. Prost: You're gonna what? You’re more immobile than a beached whale.
LO-166: How the fu-
LO-166 properties deactivate.
Dr. Prost: I apologize this interview was very impromptu.
<End Log>
Designation: LO-167
Description: A Ferrari 250 GTO
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: LO-167 is a non-anomalous vehicle that was found inside a Babylonian archeological dig site within a recently discovered cavern. The cavern is believed to have formed in 40,000 BCE and it is theorized to have formed by a large spatial/temporal disruption.
Designation: LO-168
Description: One 5 x 5 meters plain of glass
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When two subjects make eye contact with each other through LO-168 they will report a feeling of nostalgia towards each other. LO-168 was created during the cross testing of RPC-███ and RPC-███.
Designation: LO-169
Description: One (1) female Canis lupus familiaris of the Siberian Husky breed
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-169 is able to increase the probability of unlikely events by 10%. LO-169 was found within Site-016 with a note contains the following:
Shitty dog making my boyfriend break up with me. I will move back to Wuhan soon. Take care of her.
Addendum: LO-169 was artificially inseminated and gave birth to seven infant instances and one Felis catus domesticus. All birthed entities exhibit the same properties as LO-169. The infant instances are designated LO-169-A1 through LO-169-A7 and the Felis catus domesticus instance is designated LO-169-B.
Designation: LO-170
Description: One (1) oil painting depicting the site director of Site-019
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: LO-170 exhibits no anomalous properties. LO-170 was found by an expedition and research team surveying a naturally formed cavern and came across LO-170 in the center of the cavern. LO-170 contained a note with the following content written in an unknown fluid:
To: Gunther von Erbach
From: [DATA EXPUNGED] (Data have been expunged due to a major cognitohazardous effect found.)
When I first saw you I think it was lust at first sight. I had no human form so I took one to observe you. The more I observe you, the more I want to have you. I was going to reveal myself to you, but knowing the fragile mind of humans I would probably break you, so I have resigned myself from observing you from afar. I await for the day I can have you. With love, [DATA EXPUNGED].
The site director has shown interest in raising the security of Site-019.
Designation: LO-171
Description: One (1) DVD box set of the American television show Full House
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-171 is viewed directly, the observer will begin to experience an auditory hallucination resembling the Full House laugh track at random intervals. This effect ceases after twenty-one minutes. The DVDs contained within LO-171 do not exhibit any anomalous properties.
Designation: LO-172
Description: A collection of twelve (12) 150 ml glass cups
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Every thirty minutes, an instance of LO-172 will translocate to a completely random location within 15 meters of its current position. Liquid contained within the instance of LO-172 during this event will not be translocated.
Designation:LO-173
Description: A █████████ brand plant fertilizer weighing about 15kg. No known manufacturer exists, or is at least known of.
Site Location: Site-012
Properties: When LO-173 is placed, the face of recently deceased individuals will manifest on where fertilizer was placed.
Designation: LO-174
Description: A hollow cylindrical structure 1 meter in height.
Site Location: Site-02
Properties: Recovered in 2005. Objects dropped from the entrance of LO-174 will experience a drop larger than the height of LO-174. Said height is about 50 meters according to authority calculations with position sensoring. The subject will then appear adjacent to LO-174, with no harm.
Designation: LO-175
Description: One (1) Can of Lysol with 500 grams of an unknown liquid.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When the liquid contained inside LO-175 is applied to an inorganic object, said object will immediately vanish from our reality. Examining the liquid, designated LO-175-A, is currently infeasible due to its properties. How LO-175-A does not cause LO-175 to vanish is currently unknown.
Designation: LO-176
Description: Five (5) spherical extraterrestrial organisms designated LO-176-A through LO-176-E.
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: LO-176-A through LO-176-E are not affected by the moon’s gravity. It is currently unknown how LO-176 instances feed or reproduce. LO-176 instance’s are not sapient and exhibit similar behavior to microorganic life.
Addendum: LO-176-A though LO-176-E were found in an underground cavern below Site-019.
LO-177.
Designation: LO-177
Description: A miniature representing the Chandley-class Scout from FASA's37 Star Trek Roleplaying Game.
Site Location: Site-045
Properties: When used in-game, the model will generate sound effects identical to the ones used in the Star Trek film series, mostly from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
Designation: LO-178
Description: A damaged Mark V tank
Site Location: Previously Site-002
Properties: When LO-178 is unobserved it will teleport to the nearest person of English descent. Once it arrive at a new location an humanoid creature designated LO-178-A will crawl out of LO-178 and will exclaim the following phrases:
- “Come in.”
- “It’s time for battle.”
- “Don’t let me die alone.”
Descriptions of LO-178-A vary from person to person, but one constant in its appearance is that it has no sensory organs.
Note: LO-178 was transferred from Site-002 to Monarch Security supervision.
Designation: LO-179
Description: One (1) Texas Instruments TI-83 Plus calculator
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-179 is continually inputting orderly phrases without any external input. LO-179 creates several lines of words every two minutes. Phrases created by LO-179 always relate to a random person within Site-008. Researchers assigned to LO-179 hypothesize that the anomaly may be sapient, but there is currently no evidence to support this claim.
Designation: LO-180
Description: An illustration of United States President John F. Kennedy
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject observes LO-180 for longer than 30 seconds a small hole measuring 0.52 nm in length in the center of the subjects skull. This whole will continue to expand the longer the observer stares at LO-180 which could lead to a subjects death.
Designation: LO-181
Description: An organism that resembles a queen size bed
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: [DATA EXPUNGED] (See RPC-███).
Note: LO-181 was discovered within a Kabushiki Kawaii brothel within Tokyo, Japan.
Designation: LO-182
Description: One (1) Kilogram of human urine.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Every seven (7) hours LO-182 will take a humanoid form and begin to move in a way that can only be describe as “dancing”. Subjects observing LO-182 feel the compulsion to insult LO-182 on his “dancing”. LO-182 will “dance” for approximately two (2) hours to which it will return to a inert state.
Designation: “A Rock”
Description: “A Rock” of extraterrestrial origins
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: “A Rock” is a fragment of the Tunguska meteoroid. When a subject who has viewed “A Rock” attempts to give a designation or an in-depth description of the materials the compose “A Rock” will be unable to call “A Rock” anything other than “A Rock”. “A Rock” was discovered when “A Rock” crashed into the house of Isaac Ivanov.
Designation: LO-184
Description: The lesser anomalous item slot LO-184
Site Location: N/A
Properties: Anything place within the LO-184 slot will disappear from our reality for twelve hours. CSD personnel vanished using LO-184 report no memory of their whereabouts while they were gone. Subjects who have vanished once because the LO-184 slot cannot vanish again when placed in the LO-184 slot.
LO-185 prior to containment.
Designation: LO-185
Description: A copy of “Minecraft Hacks” by Megan Miller
Site Location: Site-001
Properties: When a subject reads LO-185 in its completion they will receive basic knowledge in the fields of architecture even thought the book contains nothing on the subject. Subjects who also read LO-185 in its entirety have also been observed to gain slight financial success in various endeavors.
Designation: LO-186
Description: A stone statue of George Washington
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Subjects who observe LO-186 describe a sense of patriotism for the United States. Subjects will show an immediate interest in United States history and military.
Designation: LO-187
Description: A cube made from basalt, with the Latin word "Disce" Engraved on one side.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subjects within 30 feet of LO-187 have shown an increased capability to learn about an subject. The effect will remain for exactly five days after exposure, although all things learned during that period of time have remained. A request to use LO-187 to help with keeping info on anomalous objects has been sent to Board.
Designation: LO-188
Description: A full body unisex mannequin composed of an unknown flexible material.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-188 is a animate and capable of limited movements. When a subject comes within one meter of LO-188 it will vocalize the following.
“What do you think about my body?”
Regardless wether the subject responds to LO-188, it will proceed to slap the subject. Attempts to communicate with LO-188 has resulted in the interviewing personnel being slapped.
Designation: LO-189
Description: A copy of “50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know” by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject reads LO-189 in its entirety a coin resembling a US penny composed of milk chocolate will manifest within two meters of the subject wrapped in paper wrapping alongside with a note written in the subjects native language designated LO-189-A.
LO-189-A instances are composed of an anomalous type of wood fiber that makes the paper fire resistant. LO-189-A always contains a positive message relating to the subject who read LO-189.
Designation: LO-190
Description: A NERF Fortnite AR-L Scar
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-190 anomalous properties activate when LO-190 is held by a subject. Subjects viewing LO-190 while in the possession of another subject will view the toy gun as a FN SCAR 17S. When a subject holding LO-190 loads the toy gun with NERF darts and fires them from LO-190, an observing subject will view LO-190 as firing live rounds.
Designation: LO-191
Description: Two (2) pairs of brown leather shoes
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-191 anomalous properties activate instantly when no personnel are within a 7 meter radius of LO-191. LO-191 will fill up with random types of beans and hot water. If the contents of LO-191 are emptied they will refill when the subject exits the 7 meter radius of LO-191.
Designation: LO-192
Description: Three (3) wooden park bench
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Designated LO-192-A through LO-192-C, when the objects are placed side by side with a distance of 10 meters between each other, LO-192-A through LO-192-C’s anomalous properties will activate. When two individuals of the opposite sex sit down separately on the outside benches a spatial anomaly will occur that will move both individuals to the middle bench. Individuals affected by this affect will not acknowledge the anomaly and instead converse about their personal lives.
Curiously, 90% of all individuals affected by the anomaly will end up married with each other with the other 10% becoming close acquaintances. LO-192 is believed to be the cause of high marriage rates in the town of [DATA EXPUNGED].
Designation: LO-193
Description: One-Hundred and ninety two (192) tablets of orange flavored “Centrum Chewables Adults”
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When an LO-193 instance is planted in any type of soil it will begin to sprout an organic material that acts like “roots” absorbing the nutrients found within the soil. LO-193 instances will then begin to sprout from the ground until it becomes an LO-193-A instance. LO-193-A instances are both genetically identical to that of Citrus sinensis. LO-193-A instance’s exhibit no anomalous effects and bear completely edible fruit.
Designation: LO-194
Description: A 2.2 kg dumbbell.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a human subject attempts to hold LO-194 it will gain the full weight of the subject upon contact. LO-194 was found at Crossfit Hafnarfjörður in [DATA EXPUNGED], Iceland. LO-194 was extracted from the location via drone.
Designation: LO-195
Description: A plastic suitcase (designated LO-195-A) and a metallic suitcase (designated LO-195-B)
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When any object is placed inside LO-195-A, it will disappear and appear within LO-195-B. Objects inside LO-195-A disappear upon the closing of LO-195-A. Currently, LO-195-A is being used by Agent [DATA EXPUNGED] who has currently infiltrated [DATA EXPUNGED]. Agent [DATA EXPUNGED] uses LO-195-A to send materials and anomalous objects in the possession of [DATA EXPUNGED] to LO-195-B which is currently located in Site-016.
Designation: LO-196
Description: A spray can filled with water labeled “THOT, BEGONE SPRAY!!!”
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-196 is sprayed upon a female individual that is or has worked as a sex worker, said individuals will disappear within seven hours. At the seven hour mark, a humanoid entity (designated LO-196-A) will appear. LO-196-A will always make contact with the affected subject at the seven hour mark. Once LO-196-A makes contact with the affected subject, both subjects will disappear. Currently, no personnel has gotten close enough to LO-196-A to describe the entity.
Note: LO-196 is currently under consideration for RPC classification.
Designation: LO-197
Description: A plastic T.J.Maxx shopping bag
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Every 24 hours a random object will manifest within LO-197. When an object manifests within LO-197 an audible “ding” will emanate from LO-197. The following are objects manifested by LO-197.
- Fifty (50) bars of chocolate from an unknown brand.
- A black plastic box with 500 USD within it.
- LO-[DATA EXPUNGED]
- Three (3) T.J.Maxx shopping bags
- Twenty (20) bottles of bottled water
- RPC-[DATA EXPUNGED]
- One-hundred (100) black ink pens
- One-hundred and fifty six (156) unused syringes.
- LO-193
- Five (5) DELL laptops
Designation: LO-198
Description: Two (2) rag dolls (designated LO-198-1 and LO-198-2) composed of an unknown material that resemble Dr. Sarah D. Dominguez
Site Location: Site-017
Properties: LO-198-1 and LO-198-2 are fully animate and sentient rag dolls. LO-198-1 and LO-198-2 are capable of limited communication via writing. LO-198-1 and LO-198-2 will follow Dr. Dominguez assisting her with her work. Interrogation of Dr. Dominguez reveals that she has no knowledge on the nature of LO-198-1 and LO-198-2 or their origins.
Designation: LO-199
Description: An oriental cup composed of clay
Site Location: Site-014
Properties: LO-199 will fill up with any type of tea every nine (9) hours. Subjects who drink from LO-199 experience a sense of peace. If LO-199 is not drunk from then it will overflow with tea.
Designation: LO-200
Description: A straw sombrero
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Any subject who wears LO-200 will immediately gain the knowledge of how to speak spanish. Subjects will have perfect knowledge on how to speak the language fluently. Once LO-200 is removed from the subject they will immediately forget how to speak Spanish having little memory of speaking the language. Subjects who already know how to speak Spanish are not affected by the anomaly. Below is a test log between Dr. Alvarez and Dr. John.
Test #: 003
Procedures: Dr. John, who has no knowledge on how to speak Spanish, will wear LO-200. Dr. Alvarez will interview Dr. John.
<BEGIN LOG>
Dr. John: Let’s start this.
Dr. Alvarez: Alright.
Dr. John wears LO-200.
Dr. Alvarez: ¿Me entiendes? (Do you understand me?)
Dr. John: Si, yo te entiendo. (Yes, I understand you.)
Dr. Alvarez: ¿Tu podías hablar español antes de usando LO-200? (We’re you able to speak Spanish prior to wearing LO-200?)
Dr. John: No. Cuándo me lo puse yo sentí como algo choco con mi cabeza. (No. When I put it on it felt like something crashed into my head.)
Dr. John: Se siente extraño. (It feels weird.)
Dr. Alvarez: ¿Lo quieres quitar? (Do you wanna take it off?)
Dr. John: Si. Por favor. (Yes. Please.)
Dr. John removes LO-200.
Dr. Alvarez: Can you speak Spanish?
Dr. John: Um. I don’t know.
Dr. Alvarez: Try.
Dr. John: Hola… How do you say “How are you?”
<END LOG>
Designation: LO-201
Description: One (1) IBM Selectric II typewriter, which shows standard wear due to age.
Site Location: Currently located off-site. Relocation pending.
Properties: When connected to an adequate power supply and activated, the typewriter will show no anomalous properties until provided a sheet of paper. Once paper is inserted, and a suitable ribbon is in place, LO-201 will print, "What would you like to read today?"
The user can then manually enter an answer, to which LO-201 will attempt to provide given only a single piece of paper. Despite being limited to standard "qwerty" strikers, the text is legible across all language barriers, including native logograms.
Test-01: The Bible.
LO-201 will provide a random page of the bible. Later tests reveal that specific books and verses can also be entered.
Test-02: A summary of The Giver
LO-201 composed a concise description of the plot of the book. A web scan revealed the summary was original, and not taken from any existing articles.
Test-03: My internal monologue
LO-201 proceeded to transcribe the users thoughts in real time, until it ran out of room on the page.
Test-04: Document RPC-███
Further testing involving other RPC files is restricted until further notice.
Test-05: The meaning of life
"I'm afraid I cannot answer that… I'm just a typewriter."
Notes: "This could prove rather valuble for retrieving copies of lost or corrupted information in the future."
- Senior Researcher ██████
Designation: LO-202
Description: One (1) Andoer 4K 1080P 48MP WiFi Digital Video Camera Camcorder Recorder
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-202 is incapable of physically passing the Chinese border. When LO-202 is used to record into China from the outside, all recorded footage of China will appear distorted. Videos with minimal distortions depict a large serpentine entity, designated LO-202-A, floating in the sky. All attempts to interact with LO-202-A have failed leading to the belief that LO-202-A is a product of LO-202.
Designation: LO-203
Description: One (1) copy of Madden 08 for the PlayStation 2
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: When LO-203 is inserted into a PlayStation 2 system connected to a television, said television, designated LO-203-A, will violently combusts as feces spews from the LO-203-A’s screen.
Designation: LO-204
Description: Printer Paper with the phrase “사랑해 ███38”
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: When a subject views the phrase upon LO-204, they will experience a feeling of la douleur exquise39. Subjects will begin to compulsively flirt with members of the opposite sex.
Designation: LO-205
Description: One (1) Glass Bottle
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-205 contains a lighting bolt strike within its interior. The interior of LO-205 appears to be subject to some form of temporal anomaly.
Designation: LO-206
Description: One (1) pair of leather sneakers with the phrase “Jezuz” on each pair. Advance Para-Technology can be found on the bottom of the sneakers.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject wears LO-206 and walks upon a body of water, LO-206 will begin to exert a force upon the water causing the subject to float above the liquid.
Designation: LO-207
Description: The remains of a Felis catus
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: N/A.
Note: LO-207 was found one (1) kilometer from Site-019 within a believed artificial hole upon the lunar surface. A note addressing Dr. Micah Thomson was found upon the body of LO-207. The contents of the note can be found below:
You left your cat. Don’t worry I brought him to you.
Designation: LO-208
Description: The corpse of [DATA EXPUNGED]
Site Location: N/A.
Properties: LO-208 is the corpse of [DATA EXPUNGED]. When the name of LO-208 is written within any server connected to the Authority Database it will be automatically expunged through unknown means.
Designation: LO-209
Description: An American Flag with the [DATA EXPUNGED] logo centered upon it.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When a subject makes contact with LO-209, said subject will receive a hallucination of an event that took place within ALTR-XRR9’s version of America.
Designation: LO-210
Description: LO-210
Site Location: All Sites
Properties: LO-210 is a hostile sapient anomalous entity that was trapped within the Authority Database’s Lesser Anomalous Item Catalog by a team of the Authority’s Kaballic Department. LO-210, through anomalous means placed upon the entity by the Authority, is forced to speak the truth of its on nature. LO-210 is capable of communication with Authority personnel through the LO-210 document.
Prior to being contained within the LO-210 document, LO-210 was a hyper-dimensional being that was to fully enter our reality via a tear located somewhere within Orlando, Florida, United States of America. If LO-210 entered our reality it would’ve caused the complete destruction of the planet as well as the entire universe entering a low ACS state. Instead, LO-210 was intercepted by Authority forces and tricked by Kaballic personnel to enter the Authority database and was trapped within this document.
Currently, LO-210 is only capable of editing its own document. Thus giving it its LO status.
Note: The above statement was written by LO-210 and cannot be confirmed.
Note: The above statement was written by LO-210 and LO-210 is to be taken as a serious threat. Currently, Dr. Toten is drafting the RPC file for LO-210.
« Acquired Media |Lesser Anomalous Items| Lesser Anomalous Locations »
