Foreword: In addition to containing major anomalous objects, the Authority also contains numerous Lesser Anomalous Items. These items are always Alpha in classification and frequently mundane in nature. The majority of lesser anomalous items are contained at Site-016.1
The Lesser Object Format can be found here under the "Lesser Object" section.
Designation: LO-001
Description: One (1) black Swingline 747 stapler
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever LO-001 is used and successfully dispenses a staple, its magazine is instantly replenished to its maximum capacity of 210 staples. As such, LO-001 appears to have an infinite amount of staples within it. Research is currently undergoing as to how LO-001 obtains these staples.
Designation: LO-002
Description: Blueprint paper and canvas
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Makes a 1/100th card-stock model appear of any building plan drawn onto it, and then becomes blank again.
Designation: LO-003
Description: Jar of mayonnaise
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The lid of the jar is impossible to move or turn no matter the force applied.
Designation: LO-004
Description: Pallet of lottery tickets
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When scratched, the amount won is anomalously deposited in the pocket of whomever scratched it. Maximum recorded winning amount is $25.00 USD.
Designation: LO-005
Description: Sales display of sunglasses. Signage reads "Visit sunny California!"
Site Location: Site-009
Properties: When worn by a sapient creature, the view through the lenses changes to a sunny but unidentifiable Californian beach. Used by Site-009 to demoralize prisoners.
Designation: LO-006
Description: Samsung Galaxy A6 cellular telephone
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held by a sentient creature, the phone will emit the sound of an explosion every thirty seconds.
Designation: LO-007
Description: Mechanical pencil
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When placed on a surface, object will float 1.5 meters above the surface for five minutes before falling.
Designation: LO-008
Description: Solid iron statue
Site Location: Biological Test Site-40
Properties: Depicts Finnish smith deity Ilmarinen. Constantly maintains an even surface temperature of 106 degrees Celsius. Currently an integral part of Biological Test Site-40's emergency power generation systems.
Designation: LO-009
Description: 14 miniature air-to-air nuclear rockets
Site Location: Radiological Storage Site-68
Properties: Objects are functionally identical to AIR-2 "Genie" nuclear rockets at 300:1 miniature scale. Objects appear to function as normal, generating a 1.5kt nuclear blast when activated.
Designation: LO-010
Description: Artificial pacemaker
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Causes painful heart fibrillation whenever its implantee makes a charitable donation or volunteers their time towards a charitable event or benefit. Otherwise functions normally.
Designation: LO-011
Description: iPhone 5s with lightning bolt case
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item never runs out of charge. The material of the batteries is currently unknown and under study.
Designation: LO-012
Description: Pair of denim pants
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item renders the wearer invisible, only in the area the pants cover.
Designation: LO-013
Description: 100 watt light bulb
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Light constantly emanates from the bulb even when it is not connected to a power source. Currently used in the Site Director's custom desk lamp.
Designation: LO-014
Description: Branding iron with an ancient Hebrew inscription2
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Makes a semi-sentient and fully loyal animated humanoid automaton or golem out of any quantity of meat branded. Meat will become inanimate and fall apart if the mark of the brand is removed or destroyed.
Designation: LO-015
Description: A species of mushroom
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Mushrooms are made entirely of silica despite having the same growth cycle as common mushrooms. Only 3 grow at a time, a new mushroom growing when a previous dies.
Designation: LO-016
Description: 22.7-kilogram sack of jelly beans
Site Location: Site-016 Missing
Properties: Eating the candy induces sensations of extreme euphoria. Candies are identical in chemical composition to non-anomalous instances.
Example of the visual anomaly.
Designation: LO-017
Description: Black-framed window pane
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Looking through the glass of the window pane reveals a dramatically different image of the location than the current observed one. Scenes and environments displayed through the window are observed in daylight and are described as "dystopian, post-apocalyptic, deserted" or simply "the end of the world."
Designation: LO-018
Description: M16A1 rifle
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: User will faintly hear Fortunate Son by the band Creedence Clearwater Revival upon the expenditure of the first cartridge in any loaded magazine. Persists until the rifle is reloaded.
Designation: LO-019
Description: Roll of toilet paper
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon observation, the paper of the roll will unravel in the opposite direction of the user's preference. Video surveillance shows the roll to be unopened and unrolled.
Note: This piece of fucking shit is going into the emergency supplies, I won't be dealing with this every god damn time I go to take a shit in sector █ -Dr. ██████
Designation: LO-020
Description: Nintendo GameBoy video game system
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Users demonstrate greatly increased degree of focus and decreased reaction times when playing games.
Designation: LO-021
Description: Amazing! Co. "eco-friendly" computer mouse
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When plugged into a compatible device, LO-021 transforms into an otherwise ordinary specimen of Mus musculus.3 In this state, LO-021 will still be attached to the computer via a USB cable extending from its tail. While transformed, LO-021 can still be used for regular input, with the left posterior foot replacing the left click button's function, and the right posterior foot replacing the right click button's function. Rubbing LO-021's back will perform the same function as a normal scroll wheel would. When unplugged, LO-021 will transform back into a computer mouse.
Designation: LO-022
Description: IKEA EKENÄSET Armchair
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When sat on, any language the user speaks is interpreted as Swedish.
Designation: LO-023
Description: Bugatti Veyron sports car
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon entering the vehicle, the user's personality changes, becoming both egotistical and elitist. This personality change is temporary, lasting approx. 5 days.
Designation: LO-024
Description: Blade Runner VHS tape
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When viewed on any screen, the viewer is anomalously transported into the world on-screen, and forced to become an extra for the duration of the film before being returned to their original position. Viewers describe being unable or unwilling to interfere with the production of the film outside limited walking ability.
Designation: LO-025
Description: Low-wattage coherent energy weapon
Site Location: Site-99
Properties: The weapon shoots a laser beam capable of releasing 1 kW of energy in a single blast. The handle and trigger were designed for a three-fingered creature. It is believed to have belonged to a Soshi soldier prior to its recovery.
Note: Soshi have yet to be documented in our solar system. This might mean that there are actual Soshi in the solar system and not just probes, though how it got to the moon of all places is beyond me. -Dr. Khan.
Designation: LO-026
Description: Immortal fish Animate fish toy
Site Location: Site-███, currently in the break room aquarium.
Properties: The fish needs no food and has not expired past its species' natural lifespan. Fish has been found to be an incredibly well-made rubber toy, but still moves like a natural fish.
Designation: LO-027
Description: Adidas tracksuit
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When worn, The subject is only able to speak in English with a stereotypical Russian accent. If the subject does not speak English, they will immediately learn how to do so upon donning the suit.
Designation: LO-028
Description: Portable toilet
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When exiting, the user vanishes and immediately materializes outside of a seemingly random portable toilet anywhere on Earth. Practical testing is ongoing.
Designation: LO-029
Description: Color digital camera
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When used to photograph a location, that location will suddenly experience optical anomalies similar in appearance to the northern lights phenomenon until the photograph is destroyed. Research is being made into any connection with RPC-050.
Designation: LO-030
Description: CZ 75 semi-automatic pistol
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-030 appears to have an infinite amount of 9×19mm Parabellum cartridges in its magazine.
Designation: LO-031
Description: 30 ml of human blood
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: Cells inside the blood seem to be able to conduct electricity extremely well. Chemical analysis shows blood contains an unknown element.
Designation: LO-032
Description: One (1) Tyrannosaurus rex skull, carbon-dated to be 65,000,000 years old
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-032 is held, it will emit an anomalous voice speaking the phrase “Get rekt, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!”
Designation: LO-033
Description: One (1) red Pilot Acroball Ballpoint Pen, 14.2 cm in length.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-033 seems to contain an infinite amount of red ink. It is hypothesized that a spatial anomaly exists somewhere within the tube that contains the ink.
Designation: LO-034
Description: One (1) pair of Nike™ Air Jordan IV "White Cement Colormax" sneakers.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-034 increases the speed with which the wearer moves by approximately 110%. Fine motor control becomes difficult. Item kept in Site-016’s Alpha-White anomaly storage compartments.
Designation: LO-035
Description: One (1) wooden chair
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a human sits on LO-035, the item will begin to levitate 10 meters off the ground. The item will return to an inert state and slowly return to the ground if the subject leaves the chair.
Note: Following several minor injuries, LO-035 is no longer available for use during Site-016 social events.
"Queasy Green" color.
Designation: LO-036
Description: Fifteen (15) "Crayola" brand crayons
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When used to color, the last crayon used causes the emotional feeling described on the crayon, such as "Angry Red." When said color is used, all subjects reported an angry emotion. They had no recollection of what they were angry at. This property is the same with all other colors, such as "Feeling Down Blue," "Beaming Yellow," and "Afraid Lavender."
Designation: LO-037
Description: 4.5 kg of Flan
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject removes a piece from LO-037, the item will use a kind of cellular mitosis normally found in Asteroidea4 to regrow the piece removed. The item is kept in Site-016’s cafeteria. No harmful effects are found when eaten, may cause weight gain if overindulged.
Designation: LO-038
Description: Mauser C96 Pistol (Converted into "DL44" Blaster prop from the Star Wars franchise)
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon sight of the prop, all subjects will vocalize the phrase "Han schoot eerst!"5 in perfect Dutch, even if they had no prior knowledge of the Star Wars franchise or the Dutch language.
Designation: LO-039
Description: Amazing! Co. American Standard Toilet
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon sitting on the toilet and defecating in it, individuals express the realization of knowledge they didn't have before, as expressed by some users as "an epiphany". The object was discovered after installing it in one of the restrooms of Site-016 without prior inspection of the item's brand. Toilet stall has been labeled as "LO-039", personnel entering it to use it are to be provided a notepad and a pen in case they experience a revelation while using the object, to limit persistent graffiti problems.
Designation: LO-040
Description: Amazing! Co. brand RPC Authority patterned gift wrap paper
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Items contained in boxes wrapped with the paper will transform into a varying size lump of coal. The object was recovered from a purchase made by Site-002 staff for Boxing Day preparations. The paper was tested due to its eye-catching print, revealing all gifts wrapped with it turned into lumps of coal.
Designation: LO-041
Description: Heavily worn black onyx statuette, resembles Ishtar of Mesopotamian myth, or the goetic demon Astaroth.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a piece of paper with an appropriate name of an existing person or entity is within 1 meter of the statuette, the edge of what is possibly a moon or a snake-like object in the right hand of the statuette will strike forward piercing the paper. The paper will then catch flame, and from that point on within one week of this event, the person or entity will appear before the subject and profess their love for them, and then physically hurt the subject in a way most personally painful to them before leaving or disappearing.
Note: It sure would be nice if a certain someone would stop using this to get me to traipse across the base just for a kiss every year! - Junior Researcher ███████
Designation: LO-042
Description: A copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
Site Location: Site-099
Properties: When opened, the contents of the book are replaced with a text which appears to function as a concise but accurate traveller's guide to the Milky Way galaxy. Practical use testing of this anomaly is ongoing, and its contents are currently being verified by Authority astronomical staff.
Designation: LO-043
Description: A rubber dummy in the shape of a human head and torso, commonly used in martial arts
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The object is capable of independent motion and demonstrates sapience. It is unable to move from its base, and does not appear to require nourishment of any kind to survive. RPC designation is pending.
Designation: LO-044
Description: One (1) bottle of Sprite-brand carbonated soft drink.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When emptied, LO-044 immediately refills with more Sprite.
Designation: LO-045
Description: One (1) AK-47 assault rifle
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-045 is fired the item will vocalize several explicit words in the Russian language without firing any actual ammunition.
Designation: LO-046
Description: One (1) 4 x 4 meter glass pane
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any biological substance or matter will become invisible to observers looking through the pane.
Designation: LO-047
Description: One (1) Macbook Air laptop
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever LO-047 is opened, flames burst out of its screen. LO-047 is somehow not damaged by this.
Designation: LO-048
Description: One sanitary pad, ████ brand.
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: Object will materialize on the underwear of male personnel entering the 3rd Floor, West Wing restrooms. The item will vanish afterward if not directly observed. Analysis of the item shows trace amounts of sweat and [REDACTED].
Note by Researcher Collins: Please calm down and stop reporting this thing. It's a harmless clean sanitary pad, it won't kill you guys.
Designation: LO-049
Description: Unknown substance
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-049 is a dark corrosive substance that absorbs all forms of radiation. LO-049 is believed to be produced by RPC-240-Ω. LO-049 is currently under study at Site-███ by the Chemistry Department.
Designation: LO-050
Description: One (1) Teapot
Site Location: N/A. See properties
Properties: LO-050 is a common teapot located at coordinates + ██° ██' ██'' in █.██ au of distance from Earth, in orbit about the Sun. Other than its existence, LO-050 demonstrates no other anomalous properties.
Designation: LO-051
Description: One (1) sheet of paper with the word "fuck" written on it in black felt-tip marker.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any human being who directly observes LO-051 will loudly proclaim that the object is "deep" and "says a lot about our society". The affected individual will also temporarily develop technophobia and prosophobia6 for a period of two weeks after exposure.
LO-052.
Designation: LO-052
Description: One (1) Safari Ltd. brand figurine of a pterosaur belonging to the genus Rhamphorhynchus. Figurine measures approximately 17.83 centimeters in length from tip of head to tail.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever a human finger is placed inside of LO-052's mouth, LO-052's lower jaw will spontaneously clamp upwards onto it, despite LO-052 seemingly having no physical means of doing so. LO-052's jaws can be forcibly pried open with minimal effort while in this state, and the finger can then be safely removed.
Designation: LO-053
Description: Four (4) Tomee™ brand Nintendo DSi game console styluses.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each instance of LO-053 anomalously produces black pen ink from its tip when placed upon a piece of paper. LO-053 will not display these properties when placed upon any other surface. As such, all four instances of LO-053 can be used both as a stylus and a writing implement.
Designation: LO-054
Description: One (1) male specimen of Hydromantes brunus,7 measuring 6.25 cm in length.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: X-ray analysis, as well as limited biopsies, indicate that LO-054's skeletal system is entirely composed of polyethylene. Subject otherwise appears to be in healthy physical condition despite this anomaly.
Designation: LO-055
Description: One (1) vinyl record of Green Day's 2009 album 21st Century Breakdown.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When played on any record player manufactured after December 31, 1999, LO-055 will disintegrate the record player into elementary particles in a matter of seconds. Research has indicated that the time to complete disintegration is directly correlated with how far away from December 31, 1999 the record player was manufactured.
Designation: LO-056
Description: One (1) 0.56 cm3 sample of pumice.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Sinks instead of floating, despite being physically and chemically identical to ordinary pumice.
Designation: LO-057
Description: A black, Crayola-brand crayon.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can only be described in writing using black-colored text. Using any other color leads to smears and smudging, making the description unreadable, even in a digital interface.
Designation: LO-057
Description: A white, Crayola-brand crayon.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can only be described in writing using white-colored text. Using any other color leads to smears and smudging, making the description unreadable, even in a digital interface.
Designation: LO-058
Description: One empty cylindrical salt shaker, measuring 4 cm height, and 2.5 cm diameter.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held, shaker anomalously fills with salt. The amount varies depending on the current emotional state of the holder; distress, anger or other negative emotions increases the quantity. Analysis of the salt reveals it to be identical in structure to non-anomalous sodium chloride.
Designation: LO-059
Description: One (1) TC-223 Rolling Office Chair
Site Location: Currently stored dismantled at Site-016
Properties: When sufficient weight is applied, LO-059 will begin rolling in the direction its seat is facing, gradually gaining speed. The current highest velocity achieved was roughly 128 kph after 6 minutes.
Note: LO-059 has been dismantled and locked behind level 3 clearance following the injuries sustained by Dr. ████████ and Officer █████ in a supposed 'workplace accident'.
Designation: LO-060
Description: Daisy Red Ryder Model 1938b BB gun
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: BBs fired from LO-60 explode violently upon impact, with explosive force comparable to a standard fragmentation grenade. Hand engraving found on stock reads, "You'll shoot your eye out!"
Designation: LO-061
Description: Surface-damaged US quarter piece, date of manufacture unknown.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If a simple yes or no predictive question is asked and the coin is flipped, the outcome predicts the answer to the question asked.
Note: Stop using this to find out what color underwear the staff are wearing. It embarrasses everyone.
Designation: LO-062
Description: Collection of 18 paper documents
Site Location: Site-016 Anomalous Document Archive
Properties: Documents contain a series of hand-drawn visual cognitohazards which render human beings incapable of speaking in or comprehending words of more than one syllable. Effect naturally dissipates within 12 hours of exposure. Documents created as part of early Authority memetics research in 1932.
Designation: LO-063
Description: A meteorite of unknown composition
Site Location: Site-099
Properties: The phrase "We apologize for the inconvenience." found carved in one side in standard English.
Designation: LO-064
Description: A 40-year-old Caucasian human male of average build and height
Site Location: N/A
Properties: Whenever LO-064 activates a traffic crossing button, the lights at the traffic system in question will immediately switch to allow LO-064 to safely cross the intersection. Due to the frequent disruptions this has created, LO-064 has been relocated to ██████, Virginia, a town with no electronic crossing systems.
Designation: LO-065
Description: A collection of various holiday photos taken by holidaying Authority personnel
Site location: Site-016
Properties: A rare phenomena will occur (<10%) when personnel return from vacations that swap every person visible in the photographs with the image of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The image will pose as the original person had and will share the same facial expression.
Designation: LO-066
Description: A 6.35cm tall Slinky-brand spring toy made from high-grade blue-black Swedish steel.
Site Location: Site-16 storage
Properties: When pushed down a flight of stairs with a flipping motion, LO-066 will immediately demanifest and reappear at the bottom of the stairs.
LO-067
Designation: LO-067
Description: One (1) antique tripod-mounted spyglass.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Looking through LO-067 causes the viewer to be teleported to the location they were viewing. Additionally, the viewer's size will change should LO-067 be used to view something too close to LO-067. See experiment log for more details.
Designation: LO-068
Description: One (1) Leopard 1A5 Main Battle Tank (Outfitted with Rheinmetall L/44 120mm cannon)
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Subjects operating LO-068 will perceive all other motorized ground vehicles within their line of sight as Soviet T-72 tanks, and will feel compelled to fire upon them.
LO-069
Designation: LO-069
Description: Ten (10) female Gallus gallus domesticus8 of the Silkie breed.
Site Location: Agricultural Site-042
Properties: Instances grow fleece instead of feathers, at a rate analogous to domestic sheep, and do not produce eggs. Regular shearing is required to maintain physical health.
Designation: LO-070
Description: Twenty-three (23) kilograms of lime-flavored Jell-O.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When ingested by a mammalian organism, LO-070 will induce a soporific state in the subject with a duration directly proportional to their body weight and the amount of product consumed. Research is underway for possible reproduction and usage in insomnia medication production.
Designation: LO-071
Description: One (1) copy of Johnny Test: Season 6 on DVD.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: After visual perception of any of its contents, subject will experience regular auditory hallucinations resembling the cracking of a whip for a period of 24 hours.
ＬＯ－０７２
Ｄｅｓｉｇｎａｔｉｏｎ： ＬＯ－０７２
Ｄｅｓｃｒｉｐｔｉｏｎ： Ｏｎｅ （１） ｃｏｐｙ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ａｌｂｕｍ Ｍｅｇａ ｂｙ Ｂｌａｎｋ Ｂａｎｓｈｅｅ ｏｎ ｖｉｎｙｌ．
Ｓｉｔｅ Ｌｏｃａｔｉｏｎ： Ｓｉｔｅ－０１６
Ｐｒｏｐｅｒｔｉｅｓ： Ｃａｎ ｏｎｌｙ ｂｅ ｄｅｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ ｗｉｔｈ ｆｕｌｌ－ｗｉｄｔｈ ｔｅｘｔ， ｒｅｇａｒｄｌｅｓｓ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｍｅｄｉｕｍ ｉｔ ｉｓ ｄｅｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ ｉｎ． Ａｄｄｉｔｉｏｎａｌｌｙ， ｉｎｄｕｃｅｓ ａ ｔｅｍｐｏｒａｒｙ ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇ ｏｆ ｅｕｐｈｏｒｉａ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｌｉｓｔｅｎｅｒ ｗｈｅｎ ｌｉｓｔｅｎｅｄ ｔｏ ｆｏｒ ａｎ ｅｘｔｅｎｄｅｄ ｐｅｒｉｏｄ ｏｆ ｔｉｍｅ．
Ｎｏｔｅ： Ｐｏｓｓｉｂｌｅ ｌｉｎｋｓ ｔｏ ＲＰＣ－９５６ ａｒｅ ｂｅｉｎｇ ｉｎｖｅｓｔｉｇａｔｅｄ．
Designation: LO-073
Description: Four hundred and twenty-six (426) Allium cepa.9
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When cut, instances of LO-073 release an unknown gaseous chemical that when ingested via respiration causes ingestees to immediately and violently lose control of their bladder functions. This chemical replaces the syn-propanethial-S-oxide10 present in non-anomalous onions.
Designation: LO-074
Description: One (1) Nokia 3310 cellular telephone, manufactured in 2000.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item appears to be completely indestructible. Tests have shown it to withstand temperatures in excess of 10,000 degrees Kelvin, nearly 7.7 x 10^8 kilopascals (kPa) of pressure, as well as continuous submersion in fluoroantimonic acid11 for over two and a half years.
LO-075.
Designation: LO-075
Description: A rubber bouncy ball, measuring 1.07 centimeters in diameter and weighing 0.16 grams.
Location: Unknown. Hypothesized to be in low earth orbit.
Properties: When bounced upon a surface, the kinetic energy of LO-075 increases, rather than decreasing due to the transferral of kinetic energy to the surface it bounces off of. Exceeded escape velocity on ██/██/1989.
Addendum: Subject is widely believed to have caused substantial damage to a Verizon communications satellite on ██/██/2007, likely increasing its velocity in the process. Due to the inherent risk LO-075 poses to satellites and spacecraft, containment and/or termination procedures are currently being drafted, and classification to full RPC status is pending.
Designation: LO-076
Description: One (1) red rubber "clown nose"
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When worn by a human being, all conscious individuals within line of sight will begin laughing uncontrollably until the nose is removed.
Designation: LO-077
Description: A slice of sourdough bread with an unusually high moisture content.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Object does not biodegrade, and demonstrates sapience and the capacity for human speech. When interviewed, LO-077 will relentlessly mock site personnel, while discussing classic literature.
Designation: LO-078
Description: A vase containing three (3) instances of Helianthus annuus.12
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When smelled by an individual with a deceased or missing family member, they will later have a pleasant dream involving the family member. Grieving subjects will also begin to accept the loss of the individual sooner than would typically be normal.
LO-079
Designation: LO-079
Description: An autographed photograph of U.S. Senator Bernard "Bernie" Sanders, circa 2016.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When viewed in person by anyone with legitimate United States legal tender or methods of payment13 on their person, the entirety of it will disappear and anomalously relocate to Senator Sanders' personal bank account. Credit cards will be immediately drawn to their credit limit, while debit cards will lose the entirety of their relevant account's balance.
Note: "Well, there goes my [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] paycheck for the week." - Junior Researcher ███████.
LO-080-AR prior to neutralization.
Designation: LO-080-AR
Description: A terracotta pot, 8cm in diameter.
Site Location: Neutralized. Fragmented remains stored at Site-016.
Properties: Subject radiated an abnormal amount of heat, with temperatures consistently measuring approximately 76.111°C.
Addendum: LO-080-AR was accidentally dropped during routine maintenance on 04/15/1998, and shattered into pieces. Remains displayed no anomalous properties. Subject's file was later archived on 4/19/1998.
Designation: LO-081
Description: A sticky note with a crude image of male genitalia drawn on it in black permanent marker.
Site Location: Site-016.
Properties: Male subjects who view the object immediately undergo penile erection. Anomalous properties do not effect those with erectile dysfunction.
LO-082-1 through -6.
Designation: LO-082
Description: A collection of six (6) Silly Bandz novelty bracelets, depicting a seahorse, an octopus, a seal, a shark, a dolphin, and a penguin.
Site Location: Site-016.
Properties: When worn on a subject's wrist, each instance of LO-082 grants a different anomalous property to the user. LO-082-1 materializes an elastic pouch on the subject's stomach, LO-082-2 grants the subject the ability to spray ink from their tear ducts at will, LO-082-3 grants the subject a heightened sense of balance and greatly increases their body fat percentage, LO-082-4 sharpens the subject's teeth and grants them the ability to detect blood from up to a kilometer away, LO-082-5 grants the subject the ability to sonolocate by clicking their tongue, and LO-082-6 grants the subject the ability to survive temperatures of up to -89.6°C without ill effects. These changes immediately revert as soon as the corresponding LO-082 instance is removed from the subject's wrist.
Designation: LO-083
Description: A Yamaha YBB-641 tuba, with an additional fourth valve.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Playing LO-083 while holding down the fourth valve produces an anomalous infrasonic frequency that causes human beings in earshot to lose control of their bowel functions.
Note: "In the aftermath of the 'Brown Note Incident', I'm formally requesting a neutralization order for LO-083. This is too much of a contamination risk to have in the facility." - Rebecca Sisan, Director of Site Security
Designation: LO-084
Description: An M16A3 assault rifle.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When directly and visually observed, the object appears as a pink plastic spork. Photographs, video or digital images of the object are unaffected. When fired, bullets appear to emerge from the empty space directly in front of the utensil. Ejected cases only become visible when they strike a solid object. Any object attached to the item, such as magazines or optical sights, become invisible.
Designation: LO-085
Description: A single copy of [REDACTED], by ████ █████, a self-help book about perseverance.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Can not be destroyed by any means, including fire, brute force, or [DATA EXPUNGED].
Designation: LO-086
Description: A standard chessboard, manufactured by █████.
Site Location: Recreation room at Site-002.
Properties: Whenever a piece is legally moved, a piece on the opposing side will move in response. Entire games can be played. Illegal moves will not be responded to. If the board leaves the direct line of sight or observation of any human being after a game has been played to completion, the positions of the pieces will reset.
Designation: LO-087
Description: A standard pepperoni, olive, and mushroom pizza cut into 5 slices.
Site Location: Lunchroom at Site-082.
Properties: All slices spontaneously reappear within the Site-082 lunchroom within 12 hours of the entire pizza having been consumed.
Designation: LO-088
Description: One (1) copy of Star War: The Last Jedi on DVD.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Fans of the Star Wars series prior to Disney's acquisition of the franchise will experience feelings of uncontrollable rage. 25% of those who watched it show an increase of analytical intelligence. The affected will proceed to write an extensive four-hour long analysis piece of the film. These effects will dissipate within 24 hours.
Note: This isn't exactly an uncommon behavior though. Maybe it's a collective cognitive response?
Additional Note: Wait, these are the same exact effects we've seen when the movie was released in theaters. We haven't even discovered its effects until one of our own researchers came across a copy of the DVD.
Designation: LO-089
Description: One (1) Xbox One S game console (with attached Amazing! Co. sticker)
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-089 is pre-installed with an anomalous copy of the First World War-themed first-person shooter game Battlefield 1. The modified game heavily features RPC-943, designated LO-089-1, but is otherwise non-anomalous.
Note: Copies of the program14 are available for use by Site-016 staff during break hours.
Designation: LO-090
Description: One (1) box of cigars, brand unknown
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If a cigar from LO-090 is used by a live human subject, they will begin to refer to themselves as "Sam Woodward". If the subject is exposed to a camera in this state, they will begin to face the camera, vocalizing the phrase "Well hello ladies". This state lasts for approximately 7 hours.
Designation: LO-091
Description: A copy of the video game Zoo Tycoon 2: Ultimate Collection for the PC.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Contains a new expansion pack not present in other copies entitled "Anomalous Excursion." This expansion pack contains fifty-three (53) digital facsimiles of various anomalies contained by the Authority, a partial list of which has been provided below. Barring the effects of the in-game RPC-834, the game is otherwise non-anomalous. Any staff that make an appointment with Head Researcher Harley are allowed to play LO-091, and all gameplay is to be screen-recorded through an external recording device.
| Anomaly | In-Game Name | Biome | Description |
| RPC-014 | Rhino Killer | Savanna | A large, bipedal organism. Can be placed with the in-game menu, but also naturally manifests inside the exhibits of the black rhinoceros, white rhinoceros, Javan rhinoceros, and woolly rhinoceros in order to kill them. Exclusively consumes a new food item entitled "Rhino Meat".15 |
| RPC-046 | African Quilled Dog | Savanna | A small, quilled dog. Can fire its quills at predators and prey to kill them. |
| RPC-088 | Ramjet Cow | Grassland | An aerodynamic bovine capable of propelling itself into the air and flying at high speeds. As such, no forms of fencing can properly contain it. Using a combination of tank walls and elevated paths to create a closed-roof environment will only result in RPC-088 smashing through the tank walls to escape. |
| RPC-134 | Pinta Island Tortoise | Coastal | A tortoise. Can interbreed with Galapagos tortoises, which will create digital instances of RPC-134. |
| RPC-141 | Moai Guardian | N/A | A large Moai statue. Available as a building for $50,000. Requires no upkeep fees. In its passive state, zoo guests will observe it as a statue, and comment on it. When a dinosaur rampages,16 the in-game instance of RPC-141 will activate, run to the rampaging dinosaur, destroying any obstacles in its path, and physically assault it until it loses consciousness, before re-entering a passive state. |
| RPC-170 | Adorabugs | Temperate Forest | A small spider. Guests bitten by digital RPC-170 instances will perceive them as "cute" and donate large amounts of money to their exhibit when applicable. In addition, they will also perceive littered water bottles, the pursuit ball, the scratching post, the monkey puzzle tree, the medium benthic rock, and the Jeep Wrangler as cute, and donate money to exhibits or tours containing them as well. |
| RPC-197 | Fenrir | Alpine | A large wolf. Impossible to contain with the selection of in-game fences due to its teleportation ability being present as well. Can talk to zoo guests and staff, and integrate itself into wolf packs, typically as the alpha.17 |
| RPC-207 | Dolphin Soldier | Coastal | A dolphin with markings resembling scars on its body. Has a tab listing its thoughts, akin to a zoo guest or staff member, unlike other animals. |
| RPC-218 | N/A | N/A | A man in a dark suit and fedora. Will occasionally enter the zoo as a guest, especially after events resulting in a large number of guest casualties, or when a large number of anomalies are in the zoo. Cannot be clicked on.18 |
| RPC-286 | The Squirrel | Boreal Forest | A squirrel. Upon death, it will respawn, and its corpses can be recycled for $1. If left unattended to, it will escape from an exhibit in order to kill as many zoo guests and staff as possible. In one particular instance, it repeatedly electrocuted itself to death using the electric dinosaur fencing around its exhibit, before escaping by climbing a stack of its own corpses and jumping over the fence. |
| RPC-375 | Giant Tardigrade | Temperate Forest | A large tardigrade, or water bear. When provoked by a predator,19 it will grow the size of its predator (or in the case of a smaller predator, remain the same size), expand its mouth around the attacker, and begin consuming it.20 |
| RPC-507 | Burmese Python | Temperate Forest | A large snake with an RJ45 connector as a head. Requires feeding every 2 in-game weeks. If the snake is feed too much, it will escape it's exhibit and attack any zoo guest it comes across. After 15 minutes, It will return to it's exhibit and become dormant for another 15 minutes before resuming normal activities. |
| RPC-███ | Atypical Arowana | Tarponical Rainforest | A black Arowana. As expected, its Zoopedia21 profile is full of fish puns. |
| RPC-███ | Nurse Urchins | Coastal | A pair of sea urchins. Available as a plant under the foliage tab. Presence in the tank of a sick animal will slowly reverse the effects and heal it over time. |
| RPC-███ | Altered Forest | Altered Forest | A new biome resembling a Swedish forest. Animals placed within the biome will mutate similarly to what would be observed in RPC-834, but do not necessarily align with actual results. Reported instances include a dodo bird with blade-like feathers and large wings capable of flight, a Prezwalski's wild horse with abnormally long, muscular legs and five additional tails, and a Stokesosaurus that mutated into an intelligent22 reptilian humanoid entity. |
| RPC-850 | Hungry Rat | Grassland | A rat. Instances are capable of eating every food item, plant, and almost all animals in the game, and have a critical hunger level23 that cannot be depleted. |
| RPC-███ | Seabed Ningen | Benthic | A large aquatic creature with two human-like arms, resembling a Ningen from Japanese folklore. Prefers to observe zoo guests from the far corners of its tank. Will temporarily disappear when approached by the player, staff, or other animals. |
Designation: LO-092
Description: An oil painting of an unfamiliar night-time landscape. Indeterminate figures can be seen in the foreground.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When visually observed, LO-092 instills a profound sense of loneliness and isolation in the viewer. Analysis of the stars in the background reveal it to be painted from the perspective of a planet located in the Pegasus dwarf irregular galaxy.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-093
Description: A vinyl bobble-head statue of a Grey alien, in the style of a Funko Pop-brand figurine.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-093 continually transmits a radio wave aimed at the constellation Eridanus. Analysis of the contents of this radio wave reveals it to be messages in an unknown, presumably extraterrestrial language. A small-scale Faraday cage has been constructed around LO-093 to prevent any further transmissions.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Additional Note: Subject was recovered approximately three (3) years before the debut of the first Funko Pop figurines at SDCC 2010.
Designation: LO-094
Description: A jet-black spherical object, measuring approximately 34 cm in diameter.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Tungsten and tungsten alloys within an approximate 3.57-meter radius are sucked into LO-094's surface and apparently cease to existe, without a change in the object's mass or volume. Other materials remain unaffected. Additionally, LO-094 floats approximately 1.28 meters off of whatever surface it is placed on.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-095
Description: An otherwise non-anomalous talking Bart Simpson doll, manufactured in 1990.
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: None.
Note: Subject was found in a series of small craters located in the Lunar Sea of Serenity shaped so as to spell out the phrase "Eat my shorts!" from above. The subject was retrieved via the usage of a remote rover, and transported to Site-019.
Designation: LO-096
Description: A toy resembling a dodecahedral Rubik's Cube, with variable coloration in various shades of blue, purple, and red. Object is slightly spongy to the touch.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Object emits various vocalizations in an extraterrestrial language when a row, column, side, or the entire dodecahedron is completed. Current analysis by Authority linguists reveal it to possibly be messages of an encouraging nature. Current hypotheses suggest it was possibly designed as an extraterrestrial toy or stress reliever.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-097
Description: I'm the one, the light and the life, the alpha and the omega, the word of God. I am also 31x15cm and my spine is 6cm thick.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: I emit a glorious aura from my pages, and the glorious incandescence of the father bathes all within my radius of 5m. I am a King James and must be read by those with faith or my pages will dim. Anyone telling my praises will speak from my voice and have my words.
Note: Item recovered ██/██/2019. from a used book store that reported the anomalous activity online, and was intercepted for 2.99 USD. (The memetic effect of LO-97 was found to be avoidable if no part of the description was tied to it directly.)
LO-098.
Määramine: LO-098
Kirjeldamine: Üks (1) Eesti Lipu Nõel
Saidi Asukoht: Saidi-016
Omadused: LO-098 saab kirjeldada ainult eesti keele abil. Igasugune katse kirjeldada LO-098 mõnes muus keeles toob kaasa arusaamatu kelmuse.
Note: Rough translation (accounting for properties): OBJECT can only be described using the Estonian language. Any attempt to describe OBJECT in any other language results in unintelligible gibberish.
Designation: LO-099
Description: LO-099 is a standard Advanced Dungeons and Dragons tabletop roleplaying game set, including manuals, dice, figurines, and handouts. All documents included are non-anomalous until play begins. Figures vary in size between 5cm and 30cm.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When the GM (Game Master) begins play with at least 2 players present, all players will experience visual and auditory hallucinations of the events that are described in one of the four provided campaign stories. Players and the GM are seen moving pieces normally and declaring actions, acting as if they are the characters they represent while doing so. This effect ends when the story has concluded, whether it is won or lost. LO-99 has no other anomalous effects and was found to be playable in a regular state when fewer players were used or pieces were removed.
Note: Item was recovered ██/██/2019 and was purchased originally at the same location as LO-97. An investigation has begun into the store and the history of the surrounding area for this reason. It had been returned by over 30 separate customers and was reported as being haunted on the personal blog domain ██████.com/SpookyCustomerProducts.
Designation: LO-100
Description: Bobo Icemk
Site Location: Bobo Icemk
Properties: Bobo Icemk! Bobo the ice mk! Icemk bobo.
Note: the object is a dog. The anomalous properties of the object are quiet unusual. If directl described, aall text will change, dispalying itself as “Bobo Icemk” !!! It also appears that any attempt to circumvent this will result in a botched attempt of the description’s tone. Siad tonal errors enclude: poor speiling, Random tangents, like that one time I went fishing when I was off duty- what was I saying again? I remember. Seemingly random punctuation;, and overall poor quality. This is currently! unavoiable. anyways, back when I said random tangents, yeah. That was interesting. Reminds me of the time I was but a lowly MST grunt. Those were the days. What I wouldn't give to go back.
Designation: LO-101
Description: A ████ brand bar of soap.
Site Location: Site-279
Properties: When being held, the item exhibits a decrease in friction, invariably slipping away from grip and landing on the floor with the branded side up. Subjects around the area express heightened expectation and a sudden interest in the object, accompanied by a strong reluctance to picking it up. The item later returns to the last surface it was deliberately placed on before being dropped, with the effects dissipating. Using the object for its intended purpose shows no wear on the item whatsoever.
Designation: LO-102
Description: A large egg, formerly measuring about 11.4 centimeters in diameter, with a cheetah-print pattern.
Site Location: Site-279
Properties: Egg hatched into a female Acinonyx jubatus24 after 94 days in incubation. The subject, hereby designated as LO-102-2-1, is healthy, but X-ray analysis of the reproductive organs indicates a series of egg-producing and laying organs similar to that of an oviparous animal. LO-102-2-1 was transported to Site-279 for further research, and to attempt to set up a breeding program in order to further study its reproductive anomalies.
Note: LO-102-2-1, as well as any hypothetical parents, siblings, or offspring, has been given the tentative scientific name of Acinonyx jubatus ovumalgarum, as of ██/██/2018.
Additional Note: Subject was recovered from an Albanian street vendor named Alban Ismail, who claimed to be selling "authentic cheetah eggs." Upon interrogation, Ismail revealed that nineteen (19) additional instances were sold for 3300 Albanian Leks25 each. When pressed on where he obtained the eggs, Ismail refused to answer, even under threat and eventual application of force. Funds obtained from the sale of LO-103 instances have since been seized. Ismail was given the tentative designation of a PT-03 POI, and has since been detained at Site-009 for further questioning.
Designation: LO-103
Description: An adhesive bandage strip with no apparent brand.
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: When the item is applied to any open wound in a way that successfully apposes the borders of the wound (Cut, ulcer, burn or even firearm wound) it accelerates the rate of healing and scarring, halving regular healing time. Users report loss of key events from log term memory the longer it takes to heal the wound. Item is currently contained at Site-008, available for use by medical personnel to treat minor wounds.
Designation: LO-104
Description: One (1) CD Case containing a disc labeled "Super Street Fighter IV RPCDX Turbo"
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can be played on any game console from the 7th generation26 onwards. Appears to be a completely new game based on the engine of Street Fighter 4, where the character roster is made up entirely of anomalies contained by the Authority, with some exceptions.27 Besides the mechanics of the in-game depictions of RPC-068 and RPC-686, the game itself appears to present no other anomalous effects. The game also contains a bonus stage, where the player is tasked with destroying a car that resembles LO-023.
Partial LO-104 Character Roster
| Anomaly/Individual28 depicted | In-Game Name | Description |
| RPC-███ | N/A (Item number) | In game, RPC-016-5's moveset is made up mostly of projectile based combination moves, although players can adapt to a situation where close range fighting is required. |
| RPC-068 | The Librarian | Unable to perform basic moves. Instead, the player is given a new "Notebook" mechanic. With the use of a keyboard, 068 will attack with whatever the player has typed in. There are limits, as anything that can instantly kill a non-anomalous human will result in slight damage to the player. |
| RPC-███ | HAZMAT | HAZMAT's moveset appears to be highly similar to that of the character Noob Saibot from the Mortal Kombat series, in which a clone of the initial fighter assists the player. Dealing damage to the wrong HAZMAT present on screen will inflict said damage on the opposing player. |
| RPC-███ | Box | Box's play style is heavily focused on movement and agility, with it making use of its tendrils to move quickly. Does bonus damage if paired with Soyuz. |
| RPC-███ | N/A (Item number) | Moveset is primarily based upon illusion, much like the in-game depiction of 204. An "Easter egg" is triggered in the event where RPC-384 has to fight HAZMAT, where the game will reference their similar play styles. |
| RPC-███ | The Mountie | In game, The Mountie's play style is highly aggressive, with the most effective moves being at close range. RPC-470's pocket dimension is also depicted as a stage within the game, although it does not provide any benefit to The Mountie. |
| RPC-471-1 | Rick Harrison | Despite being a joke character, Rick Harrison's moveset is quite effective. It relies on sound-based attacks, which will hurt the opposing player by annoying them. |
| RPC-486 | Mishio | Halved HP in exchange for a rapid and aggressive moveset. Specializes in deflecting and countering enemy attacks, creating illusions to divert enemy attention. In a tag-team match, the tagged-in partner temporarily gains offensive bonuses from any activated talismans. Mishio and Shiomi complement each other as a 'meta' tag-team. If pit against Shiomi, opening dialogues will involve Shiomi either seeking to punish Mishio for its latest capers in Site-089, or demanding the return of Sr. Rsc. Junichiro's hair. Upon defeat, there is a small chance that Mishio will attempt to get back up only for a stampede of Tsuchinoko to throw a party on it, horrifying it into completely fainting. |
| RPC-███ | Soyuz | Soyuz's moveset makes use of various over-time effects, such as its corrosive saliva. Will do bonus damage if paired with Box. |
| RPC-███ | Fish | RPC-644 is depicted to be in control of a small mech suit within the game, being a "tank" character. Makes fish puns as combat dialogue. |
| RPC-███ | Nadia | Nadia's playstyle appears to be hybrid of movement-based and projectile based attacks making use of various uses involving firearms. However, Nadia also has a unique mechanic related to its health system. Although appearing to have the lowest amount of health in the game, Nadia has a unique "lives" counter appearing next to its health bar, which starts at 3. If "knocked out", Nadia will get back up after a period of 3 seconds, at the cost of a "life." when the number of lives reaches 0, Nadia is finally considered to be knocked out, which will either win the game or switch to the partner character, depending on the game's mode. |
| RPC-███ | Augustin | Augustin is the game's "jack of all trades" character, being average in every category. Augustin's moveset consists primarily of both projectile based and melee attacks, with movement based moves being less common. |
| RPC-886 | Shiomi | Prioritizing a defensive playstyle, Shiomi is capable of deflecting or reflecting enemy projectiles, while using handmade talismans to block attacks or briefly stun attackers up for followup attacks with close-range pyrokinesis. If used in a tag-team match, Shiomi's tagged-in partner will gain temporary protective benefits from any activated talismans. If pit against AMERICA FUCK YEAH Shiomi will express disdain for the "obnoxious display", but otherwise functions the same. |
| RPC-███ | Vadim | Vadim's moveset consists mostly of "stun" attacks, using RPC-908 to slow down the opposing fighter's movement. This is referenced in combat dialogue when facing said characters, where Vadim will say "Not so tough when you can't move, are you?" |
| RPC-248-J | Almond Mom | Joke character. All attacks do minuscule damage, and Almond Mom has the lowest amount of health in the game. |
| RPC-FREEDOM-J | AMERICA FUCK YEAH | One of the most powerful characters within the game, AMERICA FUCK YEAH's moveset is both sound based (playing a very loud rendition of The Star Spangled Banner on an electric guitar) and projectile based (AMERICA FUCK YEAH's large arsenal of firearms). |
| CSD-673129 | N/A (CSD Designation) | CSD-6731 serves as a "glass cannon" type character, with low health but high damage attacks. Moveset is diverse, featuring at least one of every type of attack in the game. |
| Anomaly-197-1 | Zhao 17 | Zhao 17's play style is near identical to that of Augustin's, with the exception that it prioritizes projectile-based attacks. Zhao 17 is the only character to lack combat dialogue, with it only speaking at the start of the match. |
Designation: LO-106
Description: One (1) textbook entitled Disorderly Conduct, no author or publisher listed.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If the user attempts to order LO-106 in any given list, the list will shift to depict LO-106 to be ordered incorrectly. Any attempts to correct the list will result in further damage to the list's order. Due to the anomalous properties of LO-106, the succeeding lesser anomalous object is to be to designated LO-105.
Designation: LO-105
Description: One (1) unmarked cassette tape, manufactured in 1984.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If LO-105 is inserted into any compatible device, it will proceed to play Mr. Brightside by The Killers. Every attempt to overwrite the contents of the tape has been unsuccessful.
Notes: LO-105 was recovered in 1994, 10 years before the release of Mr. Brightside.
LO-107.
Designation: LO-107
Description: One (1) ████████-brand audio player, manufactured in 2011.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If LO-107 is used to play any .mp3-format media, all users within range of hearing will each hear a different song that is seemingly chosen at random.
Notes: LO-107 was purchased from an otherwise non-anomalous [REDACTED] family member of Dr. █████ ████. Store records show no evidence of the item ever having been stocked.
Designation: LO-108
Description: A female Oriental Longhair cat.
Site Location: Site-016 (Under the personal care of Dr. Dalia ████████)
Properties: LO-108 weighs 4.5 kilograms, is 55 centimeters long without its tail, possesses 6 legs, and black non-reflecting sclera. LO-108 is confirmed to be blind and possesses an enhanced sense of smell and hearing. Subject appears to not be slowed down by its additional limbs, being able to run faster than the average cat and climb surfaces with ease. The feline shows no abnormal signs of aggression towards the monitoring staff, however it does not accept physical contact with any individual other Dr. ████████. Further tests to record behavior during periods of increased sexual drive pending.
Designation: LO-109
Description: One (1) Leather aviation cap, brand and date of manufacture unknown
Site Location: N/A30
Properties: When worn by a living subject, they gain a large amount of "Luck". This allows the subject to avoid most lethal encounters. Prolonged use causes the wearer to begin to exhibit narcissistic and strongly antisocial personality traits, even when the cap is removed.
Designation: LO-110-AR
Description: A Heineken-brand bottle cap.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subjects who visually perceived LO-110-AR experienced an intense desire to chew on it.
Notes: Destroyed after an unfortunate interaction with CSD-1032, whose jaw structure was drastically altered by RPC-███, resulting in a notable increase in the subject's bite force.
Designation: LO-111
Description: A human female with vulpine ears, eyes, and tail with black hair and fur.
Site Location: Site-031-2
Properties: Entity is capable of creating thaumaturgic fire from its hands at will.
Notes: LO-111 is known to be an instance of a mass produced model from the "Sacred Flame Kitsune" range of products made by the GOI known as Kabushiki Kawaii.
LO-112
Designation: LO-112
Description: A rubber duck.
Site Location: Site-016, formerly Site-027
Properties: LO-112 functions identically to a rubber duck unless buried in any substance with similar consistency to soil. When provided with water, LO-112 will sprout a small tree with red bark and yellow, duck-shaped leaves. In addition, a single new instance of LO-112 will be grown from the tree, falling from the tree a day after blooming.
Addendum: LO-112 was utilized in the creation of RPC-735. However, due to LO-112's nature, an additional instance was created and later retrieved from Site-027 and relocated to Site-016.
LO-113-2
Designation: LO-113
Description: 2 Spot-brand quadrupedal utility robots identical in appearance to those produced by Boston Dynamics.
Site Location: LO-113-1 is Neutralized, LO-113-2 is currently housed at Site-027
Properties: LO-113-1 and -2 mimic the behavior of a domesticated cat. They function without power and are generally friendly to the staff they interact with. The claw arm attached to the top of the robots functions independently of the main body. It will attempt to "bite" anything that gets close that it perceives to be alive. The claw arm is equipped with a muzzle to prevent any injuries when dealing with LO-113.
Addendum: LO-113-1 was utilized as the body of RPC-735. As there appear to be no means of separating it from RPC-735, LO-113-1 is effectively neutralized. LO-113-2 was presumably saddened by this, and laid in its pen for 3 days.
Designation: LO-114
Description: A quill pen.
Site Location: Formerly Site-027, currently stored within RPC-735
Properties: When dipped in ink, LO-114 is capable of writing on air. Any inanimate non-weapon object drawn with LO-114 is fully functional as if it were made of ordinary materials. LO-114 is incapable of producing objects with complicated moving parts, objects that employ chemical reactions, or objects with sharp edges.
Addendum: LO-114 is currently stored within a chamber in the center of RPC-735. Attempts to retrieve it are being considered.
LO-115-AR in an inactive state
Designation: LO-115-AR
Description: A colonial organism resembling sand.
Site Location: Neutralized, formerly Site-027
Properties: LO-115-AR is a colonial organism that resembles a pile of sand when inactive. The individual grains of LO-115-AR are also identical in appearance to a grain of sand, with the exception of the presence of an elytra-like structure. When in need of food or needing to move for other reasons, the entire colony will open their elytra and unfurl insect-like wings. The colony moves as a single mass, and moves in a similar manner to how a jellyfish would move in water. The colony seeks out rocks or metal to consume, though will always prioritize the former. Any consumed rock or metal will be brought to the center of LO-115-AR and converted into more colony members. Any member who is removed from the mass will instantly lose their anomalous properties.
Addendum: LO-115-AR was absorbed into RPC-735, where the primary function of the colony was shifted as well as several members expiring and being uses as a form of armor. As such, LO-115-AR is effectively neutralized.
LO-116-AR
Designation: LO-116-AR
Description: An eyeball with neural connections split into 8 tentacle like structures.
Site Location: Neutralized, formerly Site-027
Properties: LO-116-AR is an eyeball which has had its neural connectors lengthened and split into 8 separate arm-like structures. Each arm is approximately a meter in length. LO-116-AR is able to manipulate these arms in a manner akin to an octopus. LO-116-AR is also capable of bonding these arms with existing neural tissues. Though LO-116-AR is incapable of boring through animals to reach these regions, it is more capable of digging up a plant's roots and connecting there. However, this can only be used as an energy source for LO-116-AR. Following Incident-116-L, reclassification of LO-116-AR into an RPC object is pending.
Addendum: Currently utilized as they eye and controlling consciousness of RPC-735. While it is considered neutralized, it could alternatively be considered reclassified as RPC-735 due to its prominent role in its existence.
Designation: LO-117
Description: A human male with reptilian scales covering various parts of its body. Also has reptilian eyes and a reptilian tail.
Site Location: Site-009
Properties: Entity possess the ability to freely change the colour of its skin in a manner similar to that of a chameleon.
Notes: LO-117 is known to be an instance of a mass produced model from the "Chameleon" range of products made by the GOI known as Kabushiki Kawaii.
Designation: LO-118
Description: A 10.5-inch audio reel tape, designed to play ten seconds of layered, complex tonal frequencies on a constant loop.
Site Location: N/A
Properties: Brief exposure to anomalous frequencies yields no long-term physical damage. The tape itself plays at extremely low volume, as even the most powerful speakers barely emit 30 decibels; Electronic enhancement only seems to increase white noise and obscure the actual subject of the recording. Regardless of volume, listeners exposed to the anomalous frequency claim to hear "the perfect guitar solo". Several researchers with musical training were asked to dictate, with most attempts ending in the musician growing frenzied and depressed. Subjects claim they could not recreate what they'd heard, or insist that repeated observations of the tonal pattern continued to yield varying results.
Recovery: RPC-235 was seized from Studio Z31 on March, 1965. Frank Vincent Zappa, who was renting the recording studio at the time, was suspected of creating the tape in question. Coinciding with reports of unexplained mania connected to the location, initial investigations suggested that Frank Zappa was unaware of RPC-235's anomalous properties. This was quickly disproved, however, after a series of missives from The Academy of True Art were discovered during the search and seizure. Vice squad was tipped off, and a raid conducted, tasked with confiscating suspected pornographic material. Three RPC agents were planted on the vice squad to seize RPC-235 without alerting civilians or authorities. While the raid was successful, Studio Z was later found to be unrelated to the anomalous activity in the area.
Addendum: Provides treatment for temporary relief of RPC-234-2.
Designation: LO-119
Description: A .3 x .3 x .3 meter 'Rubix Cube' composed of an immeasurable amount of densely packed segments.
Site Location: Site-077 low risk anomalous object storage wing.
Properties: The number of segments composing LO-119 possesses constantly changes; observation over time has shown the average number to be approximately 85,000. Subjects attempting to 'solve' LO-119 report an inability to do so, and begin to experience intense emotional distress when met with failure.
Designation: LO-120
Description: A lamp post that is unable to be perceived without the aid of Leptosiderine.
Site Location: Site-002 Research & Laboratories Level, Viderics Office
Properties: LO-120, previously owned by the late John Beckham, who had lived in Pittsburgh, PA, USA. The object was discovered to have anomalous properties after Mr. Beckham had fallen down a flight of stairs after tripping on it.
Notes: LO-120 has been instrumental as a trial object in the development of modern Videric drugs.
Designation: LO-121
Description: An undocumented anomalous flora resembling a street light composed of wood.
Site Location: Site-031-2
Properties: LO-121 emits radio waves that allows network connection and high speed internet to any device that requires Wi-Fi. The top of LO-121 has a spherical mass that emits visible light at around 180 lm.
Additional: LO-121 was created by RPC-550 during Test-550-35 on ██/██/████.
Designation: LO-122
Description: One (1) Cardboard Box with the GEAR logo on each side of the box.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-122 is filled with fifty (50) dark chocolate bars. Each bar is 30 cm in length and 1.2 cm in width. Once all fifty chocolates bars, designated LO-122-A, are consumed, the box will immediately refill with fifty instances of LO-122-A. Examinations of LO-122-A instances reveal that they are composed of cocoa powder, processed cocoa beans, cocoa butter, chocolate liquor, vanilla extract, and sugar. Each instance of LO-122-A is estimated to have 100 calories per bar.
Additional: LO-122 was given to the Authority during a meeting between GD-██ and a representative from GEAR. LO-122 came with a note on the side that reads as follows:
To one of the sweetest and most powerful women on this planet.
From your secret admire,
P.S. I heard you like chocolate.
Additional: LO-122 is currently being used in Site-016’s cafeteria as an ingredient in various food items.
Designation: LO-123
Description: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Site Location: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Properties: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Properties: Causes any event or media involving it to play out in reverse sequential order.
Site Location: Site-016
Description: A cassette tape of the 2000 crime-thriller film Memento.
Designation: LO-124
Designation: LO-125
Description: Three (3) liters of an unknown fluid designated Dihydrogen tetra█████████.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Anything submerged into the fluid for more than 20 seconds will be spatially displaced to an unknown location. Test to recreate the fluid have resulted in failure. It is hypothesized that the atoms in the fluid are bonded together by some form of unknown or anomalous chemical bond. The fluid was recovered by RPC-251-A during an exploration of an alternate universe Earth.
Designation: LO-126
Description: 65 kg of an unknown meat contained within a crate with the Amazing! Co logo on each side.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: The crate and the unknown organic material have no anomalous properties. Test conducted on the organic material reveal it to be from a life form with a silicon-based biology. The crate arrived at Site-002 on ██/██/████, accompanied by a badly-damaged shipping order form reading:
Some Alien Meat For Our Friends At Site-002 From Your Friends At Amazing! Co.
Designation: LO-127
Description: An unknown implement of extraterrestrial origin, hypothesized to be similar in function to a stapler. Subject is pale blue in coloration, and is slightly spongy to the touch. Subject is covered in a number of small papillae, which are slightly darker in coloration.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When pressure is applied from the top, LO-127 will pulsate for several seconds before squirting an extremely adhesive glue-like substance downwards from a small orifice. X-ray analysis reveals there to be an internal organ that continually manufactures this substance.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-128
Description: Fifty-seven (57) unknown objects of extraterrestrial origin, hypothesized to be similar in function to sticky notes. LO-128-1 through -32 are pale green in coloration, while LO-128-33 through -57 are pale blue in coloration. All instances are slightly spongy to the touch, and have a number of pores on their underside.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subjects continually secrete a small amount of the glue-like substance seen in LO-127 from the pores on their underside. X-ray analysis reveals a similar internal organ to LO-127's. Research into any biological connection between the two are underway.
Note: Subjects were acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-129
Description: A snow globe loosely depicting the events of the Barney and Betty Hill UFO abductions on September 20th, 1961. A small vintage car32 with two model passengers resembling Barney and Betty Hill can be seen driving down a forested highway surrounded by trees.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When shaken, a UFO resembling a flying saucer will materialize within the globe, above the model car. A light will shine from the bottom of the UFO, as the car (with both passengers inside) is lifted inside the spacecraft. The UFO will then dematerialize, with the snow globe resetting back to normal after two (2) hours have passed.
Note: Subject was acquired from a raid on a Project Blue Book warehouse on ██/██/2007.
Designation: LO-130
Description: A metallic 1 x 1 meter object made of many intersecting cubes and triangular pyramids at random intervals.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When in the hand of a sapient being LO-130 will expand and release blue gas composed of an unknown substance designated LO-130-A. When LO-130-A is inhaled by any subject, they will suffer from a form of memory loss that removes a subject’s memory of events that occurred ten (10) hours prior to LO-130-A exposure. Collection of LO-130-A gas for experimentation for the production of a form of amnestic gas is currently underway.
LO-130 was found during a containment breach at a Project Blue Book warehouse. MST Zulu-92 (Unknown Object Thieves) encountered LO-130 while moving through a sub level of the warehouse when the team encountered a tall humanoid with many arms hovering off the ground. The humanoid, now designated LO-131, carried LO-130 in one of its many hands. Zulu-92 opened fire on LO-131 terminating it instantly. The team retrieved both LO-130 and LO-131 extracted the objects safely off-site.
Note: Currently, LO-130 is being considered for RPC designation.
Designation: LO-131
Description: The cadaver of a three (3) meter tall humanoid with 20 arms. The head of LO-131 appears to have a mask-like object composed of an unknown organic material physically bonded to its face.
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: Though LO-131 is currently considered neutralized, several anomalous properties have been observed. Every three to six weeks LO-131 will begin to levitate 3 meters off the ground. During this period LO-131 will anomalously transmute all steel with a 4 meter radius into anti-thaumaturgic steel.33 LO-131 will remain levitating for 3 hours, after this period it will violently fall to the ground. Another anomalous property of LO-131 doesn’t show any signs of decomposition.
Organic testing reveals that LO-131 is composed of a magnesium-based organic compound. Further examination of LO-131 are currently underway.
Designation: LO-132
Description: One deceased instance of Anomaly-197-1.
Site Location: Site-038
Properties: Every thirteen (13) hours, LO-132’s organic composition will change from being carbon-based to an array of anomalous and unidentifiable metals. Every time this chemical change happens LO-132’s body will release high amounts of thaumaturgic radiation that will lead to minor spatial distortions measuring 5.29177 × 10-11 m.
LO-132 was found by two (2) Authority agents embedded within the People’s Committee of the Acquisition of Anomalous Objects (PCAAO) investigating reports of a missing Anomaly-197-1 instance. The instance was found dead three (3) kilometers from a PCAAO facility. The agents collected the body and returned it to Site-038.
Designation: LO-133
Description: Thirteen (13) objects of similar design to Anomaly-███-B instances.
Site Location: Site-038
Properties: When LO-133 is handled by an Anomaly-197-1 instance, it will grant them the ability to bend light around the object and the Anomaly-197 instance effectively making them practically invisible.
LO-133 was given to the Authority by a group of thirty-one (31) Anomaly-197-1 instances that defected from the People’s Committee of the Acquisition of Anomalous Objects (PCAAO). The group caused a large containment breach releasing several high threat anomalies. According to the leader of the Anomaly-197-1 defective group, designated Jacob, claims that LO-133 are not part of the original Anomaly-███, but duplicates created via a hostile anomaly in PCAAO containment that is capable of duplicate objects and embedding said objects with new anomalous properties.
Designation: LO-134
Description: One hundred (100) German M1915 Stielhandgranate hand grenade
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When an LO-134 instance detonates it will release various spores, designated LO-134-A. When LO-134-A makes contact with soil, various forms of flora will begin to grow at a rapid rate. 80% of flora produced by LO-134-A have been found to be non-anomalous in nature.
LO-134 was found by MST Whiskey-94 (Nazi Hunter Requiem) during a raid on GARD warehouse. LO-134 was found being produced by several anomalous GARD combatants. The conflict resulted in five casualties on the Authority’s side, but resulted on the termination of 51 GARD personnel both non-anomalous and anomalous.
Designation: LO-135
Description: One (1) ballpoint pen
Site Location: N/A; Currently in the possession of the ███.
Properties: LO-135 will float thirty-five (35) centimeters off the ground. Ink expelled from LO-135, designated LO-135-A, will group together to form a singular mass of ink. This mass, designated LO-135-B will begin to hover 2 to 10 meters off the ground depending on the mass of the LO-135-B instance.
Designation: LO-136
Description: Forty (40) 40 x 40 x 40 cm cubes composed of a carbon-based organic compound.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-136 reaches a certain speed and makes contact with an area containing human beings, LO-136 will expand to a size of 9 m3 in an attempt to crush any humans within its range.
LO-136 was found in a Church of Malthus stronghold in Syria by MST Yankee-54 (Bonded By Sand) on September 19th of 2002. It is believed that LO-136 were being used by Church of Malthus combatants as an anomalous substitute for hand grenades.
Designation: LO-137
Description: One (1) USB stick of unknown make.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-137 is placed within any computer’s USB port the entire computer will be engulfed by a spatial anomaly that will cause it to disappear. Once five (5) minutes pass the spatial anomaly will disappear to reveal a pile of human feces of equal mass of the computer. LO-137 will be found at the top of the pile.
Designation: LO-138
Description: An organism that resembles an office chair.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-138 is capable of locomotion via its wheels. When an organism sits on top of LO-138, various tendrils will form from the bottom of LO-138 and attempt to embed themselves into the body of said organism. LO-138 will try to siphon off nutrients from the organism using its tendrils.
LO-138 was found by two Authority agents in Olympic National Park, Washington, USA. The agents encountered LO-138 siphoning nutrients from one Rana cascadae.34
Note: It is currently being debated whether the object meets the requirements for RPC designation.
LO-139, immediately following recovery.
Designation: LO-139
Description: One (1) Gucci-brand GG Supreme black backpack.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject wears LO-139, they begin to develop obsessive behavior towards the Gucci brand and will suffer from a severe compulsion to acquire products made by Gucci. The effect remains after the removal of LO-139 from the subject, and appears to worsen over time. Subjects under the effect of LO-139, hereby designated as LO-139-A instances, can be cured from LO-139's anomalous properties via the use of Class B amnestics.
LO-139 was previously in the custody of Tyrone ██████, theorized to be the first LO-139-A instance. On 7/13/2018, Mr. ██████ entered a Gucci store in ████, Florida carrying a handgun and demanded that employees provide him with everything in the store. The following is a transcript of security footage from the store during the incident.
LO-139/Video File
Location: ██████, Florida
Date: ██/██/████
Subject(s): Tyrone ██████, designated LO-139-A-001, and Gucci employee, Sarah B████████.
<Begin Log>
LO-139-A-001: Give me all the fucking merch! Right the fuck now!
LO-139-A-001 pulls a handgun from his pants.
B████████: Please don’t shoot!
LO-139-A-001: Don’t make me fucking repeat myself! All your merch, now!
B████████: I can’t do that, please, don’t shoot me!
Sarah begins to cry.
LO-139-A-001: You don’t understand, but you will.
B████████: Understand what?
LO-139-A-001: You’ll see.
LO-139-A-001 pulls out LO-139 from a bag and hands it over to Sarah.
B████████: What?
LO-139-A-001: Put it on!
B████████: Why?
LO-139-A-001: Put it the fuck on right now!
B████████ puts on LO-139. She stops crying and begins to place her hand over her head. At this point B████████ is designated LO-139-A-002.
LO-139-A-002 begins to grab various products and stuff it within her shirt.
LO-139-A-001: I told you to give that shit over!
LO-139-A-001 fires 3 shots at LO-139-A-002. Two shots miss LO-139-A-002, but the third strikes LO-139-A-002 in the abdomen.
LO-139-A-001 jumps over the clerk's desk and begins to loot LO-139-A-002’s body. Police sirens can be heard in the distance.
<End Log>
LO-139-A-001, as well as LO-139, were taken into police custody following the incident. LO-139-A-002 was taken to a nearby hospital, but expired shortly after due to internal hemorrhaging . An Authority agent embedded within the local police department confiscated the footage and interviewed LO-139-A-001. The agent was able to determine LO-139's anomalous properties, and both LO-139 and LO-139-A-001 were taken into Authority custody. LO-139 is kept in an Alpha Class item storage chamber at Site-016. LO-139-A-001 is kept in an White Class containment chamber at Site-███.
LO-139-A-001 Interview Log
Interviewed: LO-139-A-001
Interviewer: Agent Richard Chen
Foreword: Agent Chen assumed the guise of a Florida police officer throughout the course of the interview. During the interview, LO-139-A-001 exhibited severe levels of hostility, as well as symptoms similar to that of withdrawal. LO-139-A-001 remained uncooperative until faced with the (false) prospects of being reunited with LO-139, at which point he began to provide information about the incident and LO-139.
<Begin Log, 6:12 PM, 7/20/2018>
Agent Chen: LO-139-A-001, do you know why you're here today?
LO-139-A-001: El oh… the fuck you on, nigga? My name's Tyrone.
Agent Chen: Answer the question, LO-139-A-001.
LO-139-A-001: …You calling me by my fuckin' inmate number?
Agent Chen: Standard protocol dictates that I refer to you using your LO designation. Why did you attempt to rob the Gucci outlet a week ago?
LO-139-A-001: You dumb or something? I was in your fuckin' cop car, you can't guess? Where's my motherfucking bag?
Agent Chen: Answer the question, LO-139-A-001.
LO-139-A-001: I know you have my bag, motherfucker! Give it to me!
Agent Chen: We'll give you back your bag as soon as this interview is complete.
LO-139-A-001: Hold up, deadass?
Agent Chen: Of course. Now, tell me why you attempted to rob the Gucci outlet last week.
LO-139-A-001 appears calmer, and breathes for a few moments before speaking.
LO-139-A-001: You don't understand. I needed everything in that store.
Agent Chen: Why did you need everything in the store?
LO-139-A-001: I just did. You don't get it, man.
LO-139-A-001 sighs, placing both his hands on the side of his face.
LO-139-A-001: If you had the bag, you'd know.
Agent Chen: We have some idea of what happened. You gave it to the cashier, correct?
LO-139-A-001: The lil' honey mama? With the nose piercing?
Agent Chen: Yes. The "little honey mama" you shot.
LO-139-A-001: Nigga, she was taking my drip! The fuck you expecting?
Agent Chen: Well, certainly not second-degree murder. Were you?
LO-139-A-001 appears visibly distressed by this statement.
LO-139-A-001: Wait… oh no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't- I didn't mean to… kill her.
Agent Chen: Armed robbery, unauthorized possession of a concealed firearm by a felon, resisting arrest, second-degree murder? That's life. Unless you cooperate, that is.
LO-139-A-001: I- I don't want to go back. I can't. Not without the bag.
Agent Chen: You said earlier that if we had the bag, we'd know. Mind explaining?
LO-139-A-001: I-it made me… see it. The truth. I have to have Gucci. I have to, I HAVE to. The bag is the beginning, I need all of it.
Agent Chen: I see.
LO-139-A-001: Thank you.
Agent Chen: I see that you're aiming for an insanity plea, that is. Do you think anyone's going to seriously believe that story? "It wasn't me, officer! The bag told me to do it!" You took an innocent woman's li-
LO-139-A-001 slams his fist on the desk.
LO-139-A-001: -WHY WOULD I LIE, MOTHERFUCKER?
Agent Chen: Because you don't want to spend the rest of your life rotting in jail, obviously.
LO-139-A-001: YOU THINK I'M SCARED OF YOU?
Agent Chen: (mockingly) "Oh, no officer! I-I can't go back to jail! Not without my baggie!"
LO-139-A-001: YOU'RE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER!
Agent Chen: Threatening a police officer. That's a new one.
LO-139-A-001: I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS!
Agent Chen: (standing up) I think we're done here. Security?
LO-139-A-001: THIS ISN'T OVER! WHERE'S MY BAG? WHERE'S MY FUCKING BA-
Agent Chen leaves the room. Security personnel enter the room, and LO-139-A-001 is forcibly restrained.
<End Log, 6:28 PM, 7/20/2018>
Closing Statement: Shortly after the interview, LO-139-A-001 was forcibly restrained and sedated. Following this incident, LO-139-A-001 has shown a marked increase in hostility to law enforcement and Authority personnel, completely refusing to cooperate with any requests, even under threat of lethal force.
Update: As of ██/██/2019, LO-139 is currently awaiting RPC designation.
Designation: LO-140
Description: One cardboard box.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject makes contact with LO-140, an object, designated LO-140-A, will spontaneously manifest within LO-140. LO-140-A instances are usually non-anomalous in nature. Items produced by LO-140 usually have some form of connection to the subject’s past.
The following is a series of tests conducted with LO-140:
LO-140/Test Logs File
| Test # | Subject | LO-140-A Description | Notes |
| 001 | CSD-1294 | Several broken parts of an AR-15 assault rifle | “CSD-1294 was arrested for murdering his family with an AR-15 assault rifle.” - Dr. Shanon |
| 002 | CSD-7381 | One (1) Teddy Bear of unknown make | “This is the same teddy bear my mom made for me. I’ve been looking for this ever since I was ten. It’s a shame she passed away so early.” - CSD-7381 |
| 003 | CSD-1829 | One (1) Samsung Galaxy S5 with a cracked screen. | “This looks exactly like phone my dad bought me for the 6th grade. Man I would use this phone for hours just talking to friends. To her. Heh.” - CSD-1829 |
| 004 | Dr. Addams | One (1) diamond encrusted wedding rings | “My wife lost this when she was attacked. She went into a depression afterwards. She gets depressed every time she looks at the hand that once held this ring. I can’t wait to return this to her.” - Dr. Addams |
| 005 | Dr. Francis | One (1) bowl of chicken noodle soup | “This tastes exactly of how my mom use to make it.” - Dr. Francis |
| 006 | Dr. █████ | One (1) miniature figuring resembling RPC-███ | “I’ve known her since we were both kids, RPC-███. She fell in love with me when we were young, but I was too nervous to reciprocate her feelings due to her being known as the “Black Sheep” of the neighborhood. One day she had enough and went on-. You know what just read the RPC file.This is going to get too personal.” - Dr. █████ |
| 007 | Dr. Gomez | One (1) Xbox 360 gaming console | “Oh man I remember this. Me and the boys would gather around the TV and play Minecraft on split-screen. Man, good times.” - Dr. Gomez |
Designation: LO-141
Description: Twenty (20) sheets of paper describing the blueprints for a Sector 100 within Site-002.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When any personnel reads about LO-141, said personnel will begin to believe in the existence of a Sector 100 within Site-002. There have never been any plans for a creation of a Sector 100 and there is no evidence of a Sector 100 ever existing.
Level V CREDENTIALS ACCEPTED
Any personnel who claims to believe in the existence of a Sector 100 should be reported to site director, Alan Walsh Sullivan.
The following is an example of one of the twenty files of LO-141, designated LO-141-01:
LEVEL III CREDENTIALS ACCEPTED
| Designation | Description | Notes |
| Severe35 Sector Containment Wing | This sector is made up of many large containment cells each measuring 40 m3. The entire sector would be 3 km3 in size. | N/A |
| Extracontextual36 Research Center | The sector would take up 50 m3. Various machines for experimentation with spatial anomalies can be seen throughout the blueprint | It’s Real |
| Sector 100’s Cafeteria | Depicts a 15 m3 room with multiple table. | Your friends and colleagues were here when it happened |
| Personnel Safe Room | A 10 m3 room with a heavy blast door in the front. | This is where most of us are at |
| Emergency Broadcast System Room | A 5 m3 room containing multiple security and emergency systems. | We stay in the dark awaiting our salvation |
Emergency Response System: A corruption has occurred in this file. Please remain where you are. Blacksite MST Alpha-37 (Data Redacted) has been sent to your location. Do not resist apprehension or you will be terminated. Alpha-37 will administer amnestics shortly.
| We’re here | Below Site-002 | Save us |
Emergency Response System: Blacksite MST Alpha-37 are outside your terminal station. Do not resist being administered amnestics.
| Authority 1920 | Authority 1920 | Authority 1920 |
LO-142
Designation: LO-142
Description: A black "Magnum" Sharpie-brand permanent marker.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-142 can only be lifted or moved by a male human mammal amniote37 with sufficiently large external genetalia. This criteria appears to adjust itself based on the average penile length for a given species.
Note: "As a reminder, LO-142 is not to be removed from storage without explicit written permission, and certainly is not to be used for dick measuring contests at the annual Site-016 Christmas party. I would like to say I'm appalled, but frankly, I'm not even surprised at this point." - Assistant Site Director Dr. Herschel Gibbins
Designation: LO-███
Description: A Lesser Anomalous Item slot with the designation of ███.
Site Location: N/A. All sites with access to the Lesser Anomalous Items document
Properties: Any anomalous items describe and given the slot designation will have its designation redacted. Authority researchers hypothesize that LO-███ is caused by a fundamental programming error in the source code of the standard Authority database program, but no evidence of such a coding error has been discovered.
Designation: LO-144
Description: Ten (10) cadavers of an unknown humanoid species.
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-144 emit 980 mSv of gamma radiation. Test conducted on samples collected from LO-144 show that the LO-144 are genetically similar to Homo sapiens sapiens. Due to physiological differences between the LO-144 cadavers and Homo sapiens sapiens researchers working with the anomaly have taken to calling LO-144 “Homo sapien infectus”.
Designation: LO-145
Description: A smart phone with the words “A! Phone Prototype 1” in Helvetica Neue font written on the case.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-145 is powered on the Amazing! Co logo will show up on the screen and take the subject to the main menu. The main menu of LO-145 shows ten applications designated LO-145-A-01 through LO-145-A-10. Below is a list of all LO-145 applications and their function:
| Designation | Application Name | Description |
|---|---|---|
| LO-145-A-01 | Phone | Application works like how a regular call to dial application works. A subject can make normal calls to anyone. When LO-145-A-01 is used to call a phone of a subject who is comatose or deceased, an unknown entity designated LO-145-A-01-A will answer LO-145 mimicking the voice of said comatose or deceased subjects. LO-145-A-01-A will begin to advertise multiple Amazing! Co products to the subject using LO-145-A-01. |
| LO-145-A-02 | Amazing Bay Prototype 0.01 | An application similar to that of EBay and Amazon that shows multiple Amazing! Co products. The application shows the ability to purchase said products on the application, but attempts to purchase said products have been met with failure. |
| LO-145-A-03 | Camera | A non-anomalous camera application. |
| LO-145-A-04 | Photos | A non-anomalous application where photos taken with LO-145-A-03 are stored. Prior to LO-145’s containment, LO-145-A-04 contained four images. An image depicting the surface of Venus, an image depicting the surface of Mars, an image depicting an Authority facility, and an image of a white wall with the phrase, “Sector 100, Authority 1920” painted in a red substance. |
| LO-145-A-05 | Youtube | A non-anomalous video viewing application. |
| LO-145-A-06 | Watch Amazing Ver. 0.01 | Opening the application will show one video file. When played the file shows a cartoon that depicts the history of chocolate. |
| LO-145-A-07 | Market App Ver. 0.5 | An application that predicts the future of a country’s economy. |
| LO-145-A-08 | Enemy Finder Ver. 1.0 | When a subject activates the application a virtual map of the area will appear. When something believed by the subject to be threatening enters a one (1) kilometer radius a red dot will appear on the virtual map that marks the current location of said threat. |
| LO-145-A-09 | Leviathan Ver. 0.01 | When the application is viewed by a subject, video footage of a large unknown creature, designated LO-145-A-09-A will appear. The video footage appears to be a live-stream of LO-145-A-09-A moving throughout space. It is believed that LO-145-A-09-A is currently moving through the galaxy cluster designated CL J1001+0220. |
| LO-145-A-10 | Authority Site Finder | When the application is activated it will show the subject the nearest Authority site. |
LO-145 was found in the possession of an Adeline ████████. Adeline used LO-145-A-10 and made her way to Site-016. When interrogated, Adeline claims to have no information of the Authority and our workings. When asked how she came in contact with LO-145, she claims that it showed up in her house on March 23rd 2014.
Designation: LO-146
Description: A DVD copy of Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 1.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subjects who view LO-146 in its entirety develop the belief that the program depicts real historical events.
Designation: LO-147
Description: A pile of one-hundred (100) sheets of toilet paper of an unmarked brand.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: No matter how many sheets are removed from the pile the number of toilet paper will remain at one hundred. LO-147 was found in one of Site-002’s janitorial closets.
Designation: LO-148
Description: One pair of shoes with the Amazing! Co logo on the side.
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: When LO-148 is worn by a subject on the Lunar surface, they are affected by 1g gravity, and demonstrate the ability to withstand direct exposure to the Lunar atmosphere. Subjects can breathe as normal in near-vacuum conditions and demonstrate only mild symptoms when exposed to extreme heat, cold and radiation. LO-148 was removed from the personal affairs of PoI-███, who was using it to traverse the lunar surface near [REDACTED].
Note: PoI-███ is currently awaiting transfer to Site-009 as a high value person of interest to the ███.
Designation: LO-149
Description: One standard-sized wooden door, constructed from non-anomalous white pine wood.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When the door is opened by a human subject it will take them to ████████ ███ with in Site-002.
Note: Currently LO-149 is designated as neutralized as it was destroyed by RPC-███ during a containment breach on ██/██/████
Black Site File: Access Granted
Designation: LO-149
Description: A wooden door with the phrase, “Authority 1920, Sector 100” on both the front and back sides of the door.
Site Location: Black Site-002-Ω
Properties: When a subject enters through LO-149 they will begin to grow large tumors around the head and neck region. Once the subject attempts to return, LO-149 will close behind them trapping the subject within Sector 100.
Designation: LO-150
Description: One (1) 2018 Ford Focus
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: N/A. LO-150 was found within the Tycho crater on the lunar surface. LO-150 appears to be fully operational.
Designation: LO-151
Description: One (1) pair of wooden chopsticks with the phrase, “Give me Asian food!!!” written on both chopsticks in black permanent marker.
Site Location: N/A. Currently buried under the ████████████ Chinese Breakfast & Buffet.
Properties: LO-151 is constantly levitating. LO-151 will travel to the closest restaurant that produces Asian cuisine. Once LO-151 arrives at a business which sells Asian cuisine, customers within the restaurant will experience a slight increase in the quality of the food. It is unknown whether the arrival of LO-151’s arrival to a restaurant causes the quality of the food to increase or whether LO-151 affects the expectations of the customer.
Designation: LO-152
Description: One (1) Colt M1911 pistol with an unknown device found within the weapon. A small switch that has to settings designated “Deadly” and “Safety”.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-152 is set to “Deadly” and loaded, LO-152 will work as a proper M1911 pistol. When LO-152 is set to “safety”, loaded, and aim at a subject viewing the weapon, LO-152 emits a strobing, cognitohazardous light that induces coma in subjects who observe it. Subjects will remain in this comatose state for twenty-four (24) weeks.
LO-152 was found within a GARD facility by MST Papa-45 (21 Raiders & Thieves).
Designation: LO-153
Description: A copy volume 1 of the manga Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any heterosexual human male that reads the volume in its entirety will instantly develop homosexual tendencies. At the time of writing there is no known way to prevent this.
Designation: LO-154
Description: One (1) board game, titled Amazing Monopolee 2! Electrical boogaloo [sic] with Amazing! Co. branding.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-154’s anomalous properties manifest when two or more players begin playing it. When a player wins, through an unknown process, LO-154 will deposit 100 USD in the winning player's bank account.
Designation: LO-155
Description: one (1) pair of 30cm stainless steel kitchen tongs with the number “419” printed on the grip.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any conscious individual who makes skin contact with LO-155 immediately develops temporary skill and proficiency when cooking with grills for the duration of the skin contact. LO-155 is able to survive temperatures up to 1200°C and resists crushing forces in excess of 1270 kilograms. Further testing of LO-155's resilience has been cancelled, due to the item's utility.
Designation: LO-156
Description: One (1) Panasonic camera of unknown type, manufacture date circa 1992
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-156 will transform into a conscious, sentient duplicate of American filmmaker George Lucas for exactly 17 minutes once every 24 hours. This effect appears to trigger at random.
Designation: LO-157
Description: Ten (10) Organisms that resemble Samsung A20 cell phones.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-157-1 through LO-157-10 are able to obtain nutrients by absorbing particles in the air via an orifice located on the very bottom of the organism. The organisms are able to obtain energy by photosynthesizing light. Research into LO-157 instances reveal they have eukaryotic cells.
LO-157-1 through LO-157-10 were found on a raid on an APAS38 site on 02/01/2001.
Designation: LO-158
Description: One pair of wooden earrings.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When worn by a female of any age they will experience feelings of extreme euphoria. This experience will last for as long as LO-158 is worn. Once LO-158 is taken away from a subject, the subject will experience feelings of depression.
LO-158 was found in the home of PoI-████ (Monica T. Corazon). PoI-████ was taken into Authority custody for interrogation. It is believed that PoI-████ has connections with an APAS auction site in the area of Miami, Florida.
Designation: LO-159
Description: One (1) steel box with the words “Bullets” painted onto each side.
Site Location: Site-010
Properties: When an item is placed within the box the item will turn into a mass of bullets of various calibres equal to the mass of the original mass of the object placed within the box. LO-159 was given to the Authority by PoI-████ (Timothy Q. Giovani) after defecting to the Authority from the group of Interest known as ███ or The ███.
Designation: LO-160
Description: One (1) male Canis lupus familiaris39 of the labrador retriever breed.
Site Location: Site-002, previously contained in Site-014
Properties: LO-160 is 55 mm in length. Previously, LO-160 was Dr. Yannis’ service animal, given the name “Barker”. The anomaly is believed to have been exposed to RPC-███ during Site-014’s destruction, causing its anomalous change in scale.
Designation: LO-161
Description: ███████-brand flying disc toy
Site Location: Site-022
Properties: When rolled, LO-161 will anomalously bounce 12.2 centimeters every 4 meters at 12 kilometers per hour and will roll through any material in its path without interference. Currently, LO-161 can only be stopped by concrete.
Designation: LO-162
Description: One (1) IKEA-brand KALAS Spoon
Site Location: Site-022
Properties: Has a human hand where the handle ends. This hand generates body heat, and attempts to grasp the fingers of anyone wielding LO-162. Subjects holding LO-162 note feeling relaxed, even in the most stressful of situations.
Designation: LO-163
Description: One (1) litre of alchemically-combined liquid composed of liquid tungsten and RPC-████.
Site Location: Site-001
Properties: LO-163 is exhibits the unusual property of increasing in temperature when cooled and decreasing in temperature when heated. LO-163 forms a vapor when exposed to oxygen or carbon dioxide gas. Producing a sample of LO-163 requires an individual to perform the rite of █████ while having 13.9 g of tungsten in its solid state and 83.1 g of RPC-████ in its liquid state in close proximity in a basic alchemical circle powered by various ████████.
Designation: LO-164
Description: 5.5 Five (5) kilograms of fully cooked Linguine pasta.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each strand of pasta is fully animate and exhibits behavior similar to Lumbricus terrestris.40 LO-164 instances are fully edible and exhibit no ill effects on consumption. LO-164 was discovered in a Publix41 located in Miami, Florida when an employee discovered ██ boxes of pasta labelled "Amazing Pasta Two by Amazing! Co." Footage of the anomaly was uploaded to the social media platform Tiktok, prompting a brief and effective suppression and amnesticization campaign by Authority agents.
Designation: LO-165
Description: One (1) cylindrical glass cup
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-165 is held in the hands of an individual suffering from dehydration, the object will materialize water. The amount of water materialized is equivalent to how dehydrated a subject feels.
Designation: LO-166
Description:One (1) plastic doll resembling the Nintendo character known as “Princess Peach”.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject vocalizes any negative statement towards or about the video game company Nintendo, LO-166 will vocalize various insults and threats toward the subject for 30 seconds. It is believed that LO-166 is sapient, but only for the duration of its speech. The following is an interview conducted with LO-166.
Interviewer: Dr. Prost
Interviewee: LO-166
<Begin Log>
Dr. Prost: Fuck Nintendo.
LO-166 properties are activated.
LO-166: What the fuck did you just say you old fuck!
Dr. Prost: LO-166, we’d like to condu-
LO-166: Shut the fuck up I will fuck your mother and kill your whole family if you don’t shut the fuck up you dumb motherfucker.
Dr. Prost: LO-166, we do not have time for your-
LO-166: I’m gonna-
Dr. Prost: You're gonna what? You’re more immobile than a beached whale.
LO-166: How the fu-
LO-166 properties deactivate.
Dr. Prost: I apologize this interview was very impromptu.
<End Log>
Designation: LO-167
Description: A Ferrari 250 GTO
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: LO-167 is a non-anomalous vehicle that was found inside a Babylonian archeological dig site within a recently discovered cavern. The cavern is believed to have formed in 40,000 BCE and it is theorized to have formed by a large spatial/temporal disruption.
Designation: LO-168
Description: One 5 x 5 meter pane of glass
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When two subjects make eye contact with each other through LO-168 they will report a feeling of nostalgia towards each other. LO-168 was created during the cross testing of RPC-███ and RPC-███.
Designation: LO-169
Description: One (1) female Canis lupus familiaris of the Siberian Husky breed
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-169 is able to increase the probability of unlikely events by 10%. LO-169 was found on Site-016, with the following note tucked in its collar:
Shitty dog making my boyfriend break up with me. I will move back to Wuhan soon. Take care of her.
Addendum: LO-169 was artificially inseminated and gave birth to seven infant instances and one Felis catus domesticus. All birthed entities exhibit the same properties as LO-169. The infant instances are designated LO-169-A1 through LO-169-A7 and the Felis catus domesticus instance is designated LO-169-B.
Designation: LO-170
Description: One (1) oil painting depicting the site director of Site-019
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: LO-170 exhibits no anomalous properties. LO-170 was found by an expedition and research team surveying a naturally formed Lunar cavern. The following was written on the back of the canvas in an unknown fluid:42
To: Gunther von Erbach
From: [DATA EXPUNGED]
When I first saw you I think it was lust at first sight. I had no human form so I took one to observe you. The more I observe you, the more I want to have you. I was going to reveal myself to you, but knowing the fragile mind of humans I would probably break you, so I have resigned myself from observing you from afar. I await for the day I can have you. With love, [DATA EXPUNGED].
Designation: LO-171
Description: One (1) DVD box set of the American television show Full House
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-171 is viewed directly, the observer will begin to experience an auditory hallucination resembling the Full House laugh track at random intervals. This effect ceases after twenty-one minutes. The DVDs contained within LO-171 do not exhibit any anomalous properties.
Designation: LO-172
Description: A collection of twelve (12) 150 ml glass cups
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Every thirty minutes, an instance of LO-172 will translocate to a completely random location within 15 meters of its current position. Liquid contained within the instance of LO-172 during this event will not be translocated.
Designation:LO-173
Description: A █████████ brand plant fertilizer weighing about 15kg, manufacturer unknown.
Site Location: Site-012
Properties: When LO-173 is placed, the face of recently-deceased individuals will manifest where fertilizer was placed.
Designation: LO-174
Description: A hollow cylindrical structure 1 meter in height.
Site Location: Site-02
Properties: Recovered in 2005. Objects dropped from the entrance will traverse an internal distance of 50 meters. Test objects will then appear adjacent to LO-174, with no harm.
Designation: LO-175
Description: One (1) Can of Lysol-brand cleaning solution containing 500 grams of an unknown liquid.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When the liquid contained inside LO-175 is applied to an inorganic object other than the can itself, said object will immediately vanish from our reality. Examining the liquid, designated LO-175-A, is currently infeasible due to its properties. How LO-175-A does not cause LO-175 to vanish is currently unknown.
Designation: LO-176
Description: Five (5) spherical extraterrestrial organisms designated LO-176-A through LO-176-E.
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: LO-176-A through LO-176-E are not affected by the moon’s gravity. It is currently unknown how LO-176 instances feed or reproduce. LO-176 instance’s are not sapient and exhibit similar behavior to microorganic life.
Addendum: LO-176-A though LO-176-E were found in an underground cavern below Site-019.
LO-177.
Designation: LO-177
Description: A miniature representing the Chandley-class Scout from FASA's43 Star Trek Roleplaying Game.
Site Location: Site-045
Properties: When used in-game, the model will generate sound effects identical to the ones used in the Star Trek film series, mostly from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
Designation: LO-178
Description: A damaged Mark V tank
Site Location: Previously Site-002
Properties: When LO-178 is unobserved it will teleport to the nearest person of English descent. Once it arrive at a new location an humanoid creature designated LO-178-A will crawl out of LO-178 and will exclaim the following phrases:
- “Come in.”
- “It’s time for battle.”
- “Don’t let me die alone.”
Descriptions of LO-178-A vary from person to person, but one constant in its appearance is that it has no sensory organs.
Note: LO-178 was transferred from Site-002 to Monarch Security supervision.
Designation: LO-179
Description: One (1) Texas Instruments TI-83 Plus calculator
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-179 continually prints intelligible English phrases without any external input. LO-179 creates several lines of words every two minutes. Phrases created by LO-179 always relate to a random person within Site-008. Researchers assigned to LO-179 hypothesize that the anomaly may be sapient, but there is currently no evidence to support this claim.
Designation: LO-180
Description: An illustration of United States President John F. Kennedy
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject observes LO-180 for longer than 30 seconds a small hole measuring 0.52 nm in width will appear 2.54 cm to the right of the center of the rear of the subject's skull. This hole will continue to expand the longer the observer stares at LO-180 which could lead to a subject's death.
Designation: LO-181
Description: An organism that resembles a queen-sized bed and mattress
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: [DATA EXPUNGED] (See RPC-███).
Note: LO-181 was discovered within a Kabushiki Kawaii brothel within Tokyo, Japan.
Designation: LO-182
Description: One (1) kilogram of human urine.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Every seven (7) hours LO-182 will take a humanoid form and begin to move in a way that can only be described as “dancing”. Subjects observing LO-182 feel the compulsion to insult LO-182 on its “dancing”. LO-182 will “dance” for approximately two (2) hours, after which it will return to an inert state.
Designation: “A Rock”
Description: “A Rock” of extraterrestrial origins
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: “A Rock” is a fragment of the Tunguska meteoroid. When a subject who has viewed “A Rock” attempts to give a designation or an in-depth description of the materials the compose “A Rock” will be unable to call “A Rock” anything other than “A Rock”. “A Rock” was discovered when “A Rock” crashed into the house of Isaac Ivanov.
Designation: LO-184
Description: The lesser anomalous item slot LO-184
Site Location: N/A
Properties: Anything designated LO-184 slot will disappear from our reality for twelve hours. CSD personnel vanished using LO-184 report no memory of their whereabouts while they were gone. Subjects who have vanished once because the LO-184 assignment cannot vanish again when reassigned as LO-184 slot.
LO-185 prior to containment.
Designation: LO-185
Description: A copy of Minecraft Hacks by Megan Miller
Site Location: Site-001
Properties: When a subject reads LO-185 in its completion they will receive basic knowledge in the fields of architecture even thought the book contains nothing on the subject. Subjects who also read LO-185 in its entirety have also been observed to gain slight financial success in various endeavors.
Designation: LO-186
Description: A stone statue of George Washington
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Subjects who observe LO-186 describe a sense of patriotism for the United States. Subjects will show an immediate interest in United States history and military.
Designation: LO-187
Description: A cube made from basalt, with Disce44 engraved on one side.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subjects within 9 meters of LO-187 have shown an increased capability to learn about an subject. The effect will remain for exactly five days after exposure, although all things learned during that period of time have remained. A request to use LO-187 to help with keeping info on anomalous objects has been sent to Board.
Designation: LO-188
Description: A full body unisex mannequin composed of an unknown flexible material.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-188 is a animate and capable of limited movements. When a subject comes within one meter of LO-188 it will vocalize the following.
“What do you think about my body?”
Regardless whether the subject responds to LO-188, it will proceed to slap the subject. Attempts to communicate with LO-188 has resulted in the interviewing personnel being slapped.
Designation: LO-189
Description: A copy of 50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject reads LO-189 in its entirety a coin resembling a paper-wrapped US penny made of milk chocolate will manifest within two meters of the subject, alongside with a note written in the subjects native language designated LO-189-A.
LO-189-A instances are composed of an anomalous type of wood fiber that makes the paper fire resistant. LO-189-A always contains a positive message relating to the subject who read LO-189.
Designation: LO-190
Description: A NERF Fortnite AR-L Scar
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-190 anomalous properties activate when LO-190 is held by a subject. Subjects viewing LO-190 while in the possession of another subject will view the toy gun as a FN SCAR 17S. When a subject holding LO-190 loads the toy gun with NERF darts and fires them from LO-190, an observing subject will view LO-190 as firing live rounds.
Designation: LO-191
Description: Two (2) pairs of brown leather shoes
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-191 anomalous properties activate instantly when no personnel are within a 7 meter radius of LO-191. LO-191 will fill up with random types of beans and hot water. If the contents of LO-191 are emptied they will refill when the subject exits the 7 meter radius of LO-191.
Designation: LO-192
Description: Three (3) wooden park benches
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Designated LO-192-A through LO-192-C. When the objects are placed side-by-side, they will demonstrate an anomalous effect. When two individuals of the opposite sex sit down separately on the outside benches a spatial anomaly will occur that will move both individuals to the middle bench. Individuals affected by this affect will not acknowledge the anomaly and instead converse about their personal lives.
Curiously, 90% of all individuals affected by the anomaly will end up married with each other with the other 10% becoming close acquaintances. LO-192 is believed to be the cause of high marriage rates in the town of [DATA EXPUNGED].
Designation: LO-193
Description: One-Hundred and ninety two (192) tablets of orange flavored “Centrum Chewables Adults” vitamins.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When an LO-193 instance is planted in any type of soil it will begin to sprout an organic material that acts like “roots” absorbing the nutrients found within the soil. LO-193 instances will then begin to sprout from the ground until it becomes an LO-193-A instance. LO-193-A instances are both genetically identical to Citrus sinensis45 plants. LO-193-A instance’s exhibit no anomalous effects and bear completely edible fruit.
Designation: LO-194
Description: A 2.2 kg dumbbell.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a human subject attempts to hold LO-194 it will gain the full weight of the subject upon contact. LO-194 was found at Crossfit Hafnarfjörður in [DATA EXPUNGED], Iceland. LO-194 was extracted from the location via drone.
Designation: LO-195
Description: A plastic suitcase (designated LO-195-A) and a metallic suitcase (designated LO-195-B)
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When any object is placed inside LO-195-A, it will disappear and appear within LO-195-B. Objects inside LO-195-A disappear upon the closing of LO-195-A. Currently, LO-195-A is under use by RPC field agents for transfer of sensitive materials to Site-016.
Designation: LO-196
Description: A spray can filled with water labeled “THOT, BEGONE SPRAY!!!”
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-196 is sprayed upon a female individual that is or has worked as a sex worker, said individuals will disappear within seven hours. At the seven hour mark, a humanoid entity (designated LO-196-A) will appear. LO-196-A will always make contact with the affected subject at the seven hour mark. Once LO-196-A makes contact with the affected subject, both subjects will disappear. Currently, no personnel has gotten close enough to LO-196-A to describe the entity.
Note: LO-196 is currently under consideration for RPC classification.
Designation: LO-197
Description: A plastic T.J.Maxx-brand shopping bag
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Every 24 hours a random object will manifest within LO-197. When an object manifests within LO-197 an audible “ding” will emanate from LO-197. The following are objects manifested by LO-197.
- Fifty (50) bars of chocolate from an unknown brand.
- A black plastic box with 500 USD within it.
- LO-[DATA EXPUNGED]
- Three (3) T.J.Maxx shopping bags
- Twenty (20) bottles of bottled water
- RPC-[DATA EXPUNGED]
- One-hundred (100) black ink pens
- One-hundred and fifty six (156) unused syringes.
- LO-193
- Five (5) DELL laptops
Designation: LO-198
Description: Two (2) rag dolls (designated LO-198-1 and LO-198-2) composed of an unknown material that resemble Dr. Sarah D. Dominguez
Site Location: Site-017
Properties: LO-198-1 and LO-198-2 are fully animate and sentient rag dolls. LO-198-1 and LO-198-2 are capable of limited communication via writing. LO-198-1 and LO-198-2 will follow Dr. Dominguez assisting her with her work. Interrogation of Dr. Dominguez reveals that she has no knowledge on the nature of LO-198-1 and LO-198-2 or their origins.
Designation: LO-199
Description: A bone china teacup with Oriental designs.
Site Location: Site-014
Properties: LO-199 will fill up with any type of tea every nine (9) hours. Subjects who drink from LO-199 experience a sense of peace. If LO-199 is not drunk from then it will overflow with tea.
Designation: LO-200
Description: A straw sombrero
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Any subject who wears LO-200 will immediately gain the knowledge of how to speak Spanish. Subjects will have perfect knowledge on how to speak the language fluently. Once LO-200 is removed from the subject they will immediately forget how to speak Spanish having little memory of speaking the language. Subjects who already know how to speak Spanish are not affected by the anomaly. Below is a test log between Dr. Alvarez and Dr. John.
Test #: 003
Procedures: Dr. John, who has no knowledge on how to speak Spanish, will wear LO-200. Dr. Alvarez will interview Dr. John.
<BEGIN LOG>
Dr. John: Let’s start this.
Dr. Alvarez: Alright.
Dr. John wears LO-200.
Dr. Alvarez: ¿Me entiendes? (Do you understand me?)
Dr. John: Si, yo te entiendo. (Yes, I understand you.)
Dr. Alvarez: ¿Tu podías hablar español antes de usando LO-200? (We’re you able to speak Spanish prior to wearing LO-200?)
Dr. John: No. Cuándo me lo puse yo sentí como algo choco con mi cabeza. (No. When I put it on it felt like something crashed into my head.)
Dr. John: Se siente extraño. (It feels weird.)
Dr. Alvarez: ¿Lo quieres quitar? (Do you wanna take it off?)
Dr. John: Si. Por favor. (Yes. Please.)
Dr. John removes LO-200.
Dr. Alvarez: Can you speak Spanish?
Dr. John: Um. I don’t know.
Dr. Alvarez: Try.
Dr. John: Hola… How do you say “How are you?”
<END LOG>
Designation: LO-201
Description: One (1) IBM Selectric II typewriter, which shows standard wear due to age.
Site Location: Currently located off-site. Relocation pending.
Properties: When connected to an adequate power supply and activated, the typewriter will show no anomalous properties until provided a sheet of paper. Once paper is inserted, and a suitable ribbon is in place, LO-201 will print, "What would you like to read today?"
The user can then manually enter an answer, to which LO-201 will attempt to provide given only a single piece of paper. Despite being limited to standard "qwerty" strikers, the text is legible across all language barriers, including native logograms.
Test-01: The Bible.
LO-201 will provide a random page of the bible. Later tests reveal that specific books and verses can also be entered.
Test-02: A summary of The Giver
LO-201 composed a concise description of the plot of the book. A web scan revealed the summary was original, and not taken from any existing articles.
Test-03: My internal monologue
LO-201 proceeded to transcribe the users thoughts in real time, until it ran out of room on the page.
Test-04: Document RPC-███
Further testing involving other RPC files is restricted until further notice.
Test-05: The meaning of life
"I'm afraid I cannot answer that… I'm just a typewriter."
Notes: "This could prove rather valuble for retrieving copies of lost or corrupted information in the future."
- Senior Researcher ██████
Designation: LO-202
Description: One (1) Andoer 4K 1080P 48MP WiFi Digital Video Camera Camcorder Recorder
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-202 is incapable of physically passing the Chinese border. When LO-202 is used to record into China from the outside, all recorded footage of China will appear distorted. Videos with minimal distortions depict a large serpentine entity, designated LO-202-A, floating in the sky. All attempts to interact with LO-202-A have failed leading to the belief that LO-202-A is a product of LO-202.
Designation: LO-203
Description: One (1) copy of Madden 08 for the PlayStation 2
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: When LO-203 is inserted into a PlayStation 2 system connected to a television, said television, designated LO-203-A, will violently combust as feces spews from the LO-203-A’s screen.
Designation: LO-204
Description: Printer Paper with the phrase “사랑해 ███"46
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: When a subject views the phrase upon LO-204, they will experience a feeling of la douleur exquise.47 Subjects will begin to compulsively flirt with members of the opposite sex.
Designation: LO-205
Description: One (1) Glass Bottle
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-205 contains a lighting bolt strike within its interior. The interior of LO-205 appears to be subject to some form of temporal anomaly.
Designation: LO-206
Description: One (1) pair of leather sneakers with the phrase “Jezuz” on each pair. Advance Para-Technology can be found on the bottom of the sneakers.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject wears LO-206 and walks upon a body of water, LO-206 will begin to exert a force upon the water causing the subject to float above the liquid.
Designation: LO-207
Description: The remains of a Felis catus
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: N/A.
Note: LO-207 was found one (1) kilometer from Site-019 within a believed artificial hole upon the lunar surface. A note addressing Dr. Micah Thomson was found upon the body of LO-207. The contents of the note can be found below:
You left your cat. Don’t worry I brought him to you.
Designation: LO-208
Description: The corpse of [DATA EXPUNGED]
Site Location: N/A.
Properties: LO-208 is the corpse of [DATA EXPUNGED]. When the name of LO-208 is written within any server connected to the Authority Database it will be automatically expunged through unknown means.
Designation: LO-209
Description: An American Flag with the [DATA EXPUNGED] logo centered upon it.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When a subject makes contact with LO-209, said subject will receive a hallucination of an event that took place within ALTR-XRR9’s version of America.
Designation: LO-210
Description: LO-210
Site Location: All Sites
Properties: LO-210 is a hostile sapient anomalous entity that was trapped within the Authority Database’s Lesser Anomalous Item Catalog by a team of the Authority’s Kaballic Department. LO-210, through anomalous means placed upon the entity by the Authority, is forced to speak the truth of its on nature. LO-210 is capable of communication with Authority personnel through the LO-210 document.
Prior to being contained within the LO-210 document, LO-210 was a hyper-dimensional being that was to fully enter our reality via a tear located somewhere within Orlando, Florida, United States of America. If LO-210 entered our reality it would’ve caused the complete destruction of the planet as well as the entire universe entering a low ACS state. Instead, LO-210 was intercepted by Authority forces and tricked by Kaballic personnel to enter the Authority database and was trapped within this document.
Currently, LO-210 is only capable of editing its own document. Thus giving it its LO status.
Note: The above statement was written by LO-210 and cannot be confirmed.
Note: The above statement was written by LO-210 and LO-210 is to be taken as a serious threat. Currently, Dr. Toten is drafting the RPC file for LO-210.
Designation: LO-211
Description: One (1) Pogona vitticeps.48
Site Location: Site-279
Properties: LO-211 is significantly larger (~0.5 meters) than an average specimen of the species. In addition, a pair of physiological structures analogous to bat wings protrude from the fourteenth vertebrae. These structures are capable of independent movement, but are not capable of flight.
Designation: LO-212
Description: One (1) copy of the 2003 film Finding Nemo on VHS.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon watching the entirety of LO-212, the viewer will (in approx. 93.27% of cases) discover something of minor importance that they have lost or misplaced within the past six months nearby.
Designation: LO-214
Description: One (1) B2a stop sign of American make and origin.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: On April 1st49 of every year, the sign will change its coloration to a vivid green hue50 and change its legend to say GO instead of STOP. These alterations will revert twenty-four (24) hours after the initial change.
Designation: LO-215
Description: One (1) Quercus macrocarpa instance with several deceased unidentifiable organisms hung from chains composed of iron.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Every 10 years, LO-215 will produce a heterogeneous liquid composed of Water and an unknown sulfur compound, hereby designated LO-215-A. When LO-215-A comes into contact with any living organisms, said organism will be compelled to self-terminate. In humans, subjects are able to resist the compulsion depending on the amount of LO-215-A the subject has come into contact with.
Designation: LO-216
Description: One (1) two-meter tall statue composed of iron depicting a humanoid with two heads.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-216 is fully animated through unknown means. The entity is passive to all personnel who’ve interacted with it.
Designation: LO-217
Description: One (1) shaved Canis lupus occidentalis
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: When a subject enters within a 2 meter radius of LO-217, all hair on their body will begin to slowly fall off. This effect can be halted by leaving LO-217’s area of effect.
Designation: LO-218
Description: One (1) Nintendo DS
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held by an adult subject, a sense of heavy nostalgia will appear within the subject. This effect applies to subjects who’ve never owned a Nintendo product.
Designation: LO-219
Description: One (1) Canis lupus occidentalis
Site Location: Site-019
Properties: LO-219 is capable of surviving in the conditions of space. The entity requires no sustenance to survive. LO-219 is currently located within the ███ cavern where it was found sprinting aimlessly around the cavern. The entity seems unable to perceive personnel in its vicinity.
Designation: LO-220
Description: A 50-centimeter serpentine humanoid entity
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-220 is capable of shifting from a solid state into a liquid state. LO-220 is incapable of movement during its liquid state. It is hypothesized LO-220 shifts into its liquid state to hide from predators. Samples of LO-220’s liquid state are currently being studied.
Designation: LO-221
Description: A novelty stress ball bearing a humanoid face.
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: LO-221 appears to be comprised of an indestructible malleable rubber-like material. When an individual who is distressed takes hold of LO-221 and squeezes it firmly, the item will cause the individual's negative emotions to vanish, effectively placing them in a better mood.
Addendum: Following recent events, LO-221 has been redesignated as RPC-013.
Designation: LO-222
Description: A vinyl copy of Amnesiac (2001), by the British art-rock band Radiohead.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Listening to the record in full causes one to forget the existence of the album, believing that Radiohead has only released eight (8) albums.
Designation: LO-223
Description: A small, red plastic object visually resembling a coin of indeterminate make.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon being touched by a human, they will regurgitate (1) one US cent, commonly known as a penny.
Designation: LO-224
Description: Thirteen (13) mechanical devices similar in form and function to a non-anomalous pen. An internal resevoir contains 0.55 mL of a pressurized luminescent pink liquid, which is currently unidentified and under analysis by the Site-016 Chemistry Department.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: A button on the side of the device, when pressed, sprays out a mist of the aforementioned liquid in a manner similar to that of aerosol sprays. This mist will remain suspended in place for several hours in indoor environments, and can be used to write temporary messages in the air.
Note: Acquired from a storefront inside of RPC-955.
Designation: LO-225
Description: A medium size black couch with reclinable seats.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: People who sits on LO-225 will immediately be covered in a white viscous substance for as long as they are resting alone. If said person is a regular user of LO-225, once a week said person will be granted a the power to summon pizza and a six-pack of bear in front of him if they wish.
Designation: LO-226
Description: A comic book titled "Fred and Bibby." Author unknown.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-226 is read, they will begin to read about past events that have occurred recently within their life, them being focused as the protagonist. Every time a new person reads LO-226, the story will be different.
Designation: LO-227
Description: A ██████ brand remote for a remote-controlled vehicle, retrieved from a closed Toys "R" Us store located in ███████, ████.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: An associated green toy car (LO-227-1) is universally agreed to exist by all who view its supposed location. However, LO-227-1 is entirely intangible, and, despite being believed to interact with gravity and its surroundings, its existence cannot be proven. If an attempt is made to crush LO-227-1, its perceived location will shift to a nearby area.
Designation: LO-228
Description: A torn piece of purple construction paper. On the object, the phrase "Touch here for a good time bro!" has been written, and a circle drawn below it, in black marker.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When an individual touches the area enclosed within the circle, they will immediately ejaculate.
Designation: LO-229
Description: A small basket, LO-229, of warm delicious mozzarella cheese sticks designated LO-229-1. There are only 10 remaining and must only be used in an emergency.
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: When an instance of LO-229-1 is eaten, the consumer will be healed of any illness or injury. If a subject consumes more than 1 LO-229-1 their internal organs will begin to melt as if it was cheese being heated up.
Designation: LO-230
Description: (1) Journal filled with various Visual Hazards on each page
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Each visual hazard holds a different effect upon being viewed. e.g. rendering a person temporarily blind, mute, senseless, granting them increased perception, inducing rash, inducing a desire to eat gold etc.
Designation: LO-231
Description: (2) Butterfly shaped lightbulbs
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Will remain indefinitely lit when placed insufficient darkness and plugged into a power source. The power source does not need to be turned on.
Designation: LO-232
Description: (1) Birthday Card
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Will vocalise "Happy birthday to you." along with reciting the subject's name and age.
Designation: LO-233
Description: (1) Green dagger
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: When an individual is impaled with it, the object will become impossible to remove unless the affected part is amputated, or removed by a third party.
Designation: LO-234
Description: (1) Hammer
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Wooden objects struck with LO-233, will become more durable.
Designation: LO-235
Description: (5) Police hats
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Will convince any individual that the person wearing them is a member of the British Police force.
Designation: LO-236
Description: (1) Pendant with an amethyst in it.
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Will increase the wearer's tolerance to various alcoholic substances.
Designation: LO-237
Description: (2) pairs of black sunglasses.
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Grants added resistance to visual hazards.
Designation: LO-238
Description: An ordinary ballot box for general elections.
Site Location: Site-015
Properties: All ballots placed within LO-238 will become 1 of 3 of the following instances.
- LO-238-A1: A blank ballot.
- LO-238-A2: A ballot with a check on a randomized name of someone running for public office.
- LO-238-A3: A ballot with all names checked off.
Addendum 238-1: LO-238 was found during an investigation in Pennsylvania carried out by the President of the United States on apparent election fraud. One member of the investigation crew was an undercover Authority researcher who contacted the Authority when LO-238 was found turning ballots into one of the previously listed instances.
Designation: LO-239
LO-239.
Description: A yellow and black measuring tape with no brand label on it.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The tape within LO-239 can be pulled infinitely, testing has so far shown that it can extend for approximately 4.8km.
Designation: LO-240
LO-240.
Description: A small blue hourglass made of plastic and will go for 2 minutes.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-240's properties will activate once the 2 minutes are done. Once the 2 minutes are done a knock will occur on the nearest door to LO-240. Behind the door, the knock occurred from will be a pizza box with a pizza in it, designated LO-240-1.
LO-240-1 is non-anomalous and will always have the same toppings such as pepperoni and cheese, while sausage will appear 50% of the time. LO-240 must be allowed to go through its full 2 minutes in order for LO-240-1 to manifest.
Designation: LO-241
Description: A silver battery similar in size to a double-A battery.
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: When placed within an object that can be powered by a double-A battery, it will give that object infinite power and will cause the object to have a better performance than ordinary batteries. If an object requires 2 batteries to function, LO-241 will be able to act as 2 batteries for the object to function, the object powered by LO-241 is designated LO-241-1.
Personnel with a level 2 3 clearance or higher may freely use LO-241 for a good purpose such as flashlights, radio transceivers, radios, etc.
Note from Dr. Jainy Grace: LO-241 is an anomalous object used for important matters, it's not important to use it for your fucking vibrator. For this reason, we are changing the security clearance access to Level 3 clearance.
Designation: LO-242
Description: A light grey flag.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When viewed by any person it will appear as the flag related to that person's ethnicity. For example, if a man of Spanish descent views LO-242 it will appear as the national flag of Spain. Although, if viewed by someone who is part Mexican and part American, the flag will be a mix of both national flags with the red and white stripes, the Golden Eagle of Mexico in the field of stars, and 50 green stars surrounding the eagle.
Addendum 242-1: Upon testing with LO-242, CSD-9943 was able to describe the flag as a combination of the flag of the United States and the flag of the German Nazi party from the 1930s and 40s. CSD-9943 was later tested and results stated 9943 had german ancestors from the 1930s.
Designation: LO-243
LO-243 in its containment case.
Description: A golden coin with United States President Donald Trump's head on the front side.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The anomaly will not display its properties until 2 choices are made aloud in front of LO-243.51 Depending on what side it lands on it will cause the previously stated choice to become a reality. LO-243 must be able to hear the 2 choices in order to function.
Designation: LO-244
Description: A gloomy colored birthday card with a grim reaper and the words "Happy Death Day" on the cover and an ominous message written in an unknown language inside of the card.
Site Location: Site-047
Properties: When the message inside of LO-244 is viewed by anyone, said person will suffer an immediate death and it is still unknown as to what causes the person to die instantaneously after viewing the cryptic text.
Designation: LO-245
Description: A bottle of purple capsule-shaped pills. The pill bottle is designated LO-245 while each pill is designated LO-245-1.
Site Location: Site-002 (Containment Locker 27A)
Properties: After one pill is consumed, the person who consumed LO-245-1 will genetically and physically transform into the opposite gender within just 5 minutes. Once transformed, the person, designated LO-245-2 will no longer be able to turn back. If an instance of LO-245-2 consumes another LO-245-1, they will suffer a slow painful death. Further tests have led researchers to believe death will be caused due to severe inflammation of every organ of the human body. LO-245-1 will cause 1 of the following side effects when consumed.
- Rash near the posterior, chest area, and/or groin
- Hiccups
- Drowsiness
- Headache
- Dizziness
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Loss of taste or appetite
- Vomiting
Designation: LO-246
Description: A white keycard with a horizontal purple stripe in the center, a bar code on the back, a QR code in front bottom-left, and the title "RPC Authority" on the top of the card, and the words "Level: ∞" in the purple stripe.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-246's properties do not become visible until being used to access or open areas usually only accessed by Level 5 personnel. LO-246 has also been used on doors with broken keycard panels and somehow is able to open the door even if the pad is broken.
Addendum 246-1: LO-246 was first found in a supply closet in Site-015 when Dr. ██████ was grabbing some printer paper. LO-246 was sitting on a file titled "RPC Authority Security Clearance Registration Applications". According to surveillance cameras in the room, LO-246 had appeared out of thin air. At 3:56 PM on 7/22/20██ the security clearance files had nothing on them but after the feed glitched at 3:58 PM, LO-246 appeared on the files. It's still unknown to this day where LO-246 came from and who placed it there.
Designation: LO-247
LO-247 in Dr. Gibbins's office.
Description: A green and white Lexar brand USB drive
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any and all information stored within LO-247 will be converted into a photo of "the Troll face".
Designation: LO-248
Description: An ordinary lawnmower with blades constructed of human bone.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When turned on instead of the sound of a motor it will emit a sound similar to the scream of a human being. LO-248 is able to cut grass normally but the screams will become louder as more grass is cut.
Designation: LO-249
LO-249.
Description: Blue brandless binoculars with a scale DPI that does not change the magnification but instead changes a number of years and will go from 1 year to 50 years.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When anyone looks through the binoculars it will instead of displaying a magnified version of the location, it will display what will occur in future events depending on what the scale DPI is set to.52 If viewed from the opposite end, it will instead show the past occurrences of the area displayed and the DPI will then determine how many years back it will display.
Designation: LO-250
Description: A tin foil swan.
Site Location: Allowed to freely roam the offices and cafeteria of Site-002 and enjoys swimming in the clogged water fountain in the cafeteria.
Properties: LO-250 is sentient and will fly for approximately 5 minutes before softly landing on a flat surface, preferably on warm surfaces.
Designation: LO-251
Description: A red apple with five bites visible
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: When bitten, the individual will rapidly age over the course of a few seconds until the subject appears roughly 30 years older. The subject's aging process will then be extremely slowed, estimated to be a tenth the rate of normal human aging. As a result, LO-251 may greatly extend a person's potential lifespan.53
Designation: LO-252
Description: A 2-meter-long body pillow
Site Location: Site-038
Properties: When viewed by a subject with a particularly strong obsession for Japanese animation or manga and a fondness for a particular character, LO-252 will appear with the design of said character. Falling asleep while making physical contact with the pillow will cause the individual to lose all appreciation for Japanese animation and manga upon waking up.
Written on the inside of the pillow's case is the phrase "Stop being a degenerate and get a real girlfriend."
Designation: LO-253
LO-253
Description: A plush toy of a black-furred monkey
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any organism54 within 91.4cm of LO-253 will begin to feel an intense desire to stare at LO-253 without blinking. If the subject were to blink whilst viewing LO-253, the subject would fall unconscious. Despite the desire to stare at the object, there is nothing preventing subjects from walking away from LO-253 in order to exit its radius of effect.
Designation: LO-254
Description: A mask resembling the face of John Cena
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject places LO-254 on their face, they will become completely invisible55 and will remain that way until the mask is removed.
Designation: LO-255
Description: LO-255 is a metal soap dispenser filled with a purple liquid of similar consistency to water. The following text is written with black marker onto the metal in Comic Sans font:56
The Amazing! Co. Super Soap!
The Amazing! Co. Super Soap will consume all unwanted bacteria. Once it touches skin, it is not possible to wash off because it will be too busy consuming all unwanted bacteria. The Amazing! Co. Super Soap will spread across entire body and engulf the individual in order to consume all unwanted bacteria. Next the Amazing! Co. Super Soap will enter and fill the inside of the individual in order to consume all unwanted bacteria. The individual will quickly suffocate to death but do not worry — the Amazing! Co. Super Soap will automagically give life back to the individual once the process is completed and all unwanted bacteria has been consumed. The process will be completed after 36.2 months.
Also, once the Amazing! Co. Super Soap has been used once, all who know of the effects will desperately want to try it themselves! Everyone wants to have all unwanted bacteria consumed! Yay!
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Unknown
LO-255 has never been tested and it is unknown if any of the events described in the paper slip are true, or if the object is even anomalous at all.
Designation: LO-256
LO-256 unplugged in Dr. Frost's office.
Description: LO-256 is a three-legged black-colored lamp. The body of the lamp is constructed of aluminum.
LO-256 bears a black cloth lampshade with five white-colored lightning bolt designs circling around the center of the shade.
LO-256 is also equipped with a standard 50-watt lightbulb created by Amazing! Co.
Site Location: Site-047
Properties: When LO-256 is turned on, it will display a light measuring its brightness at ~100,000 lumens. When a subject enters a room and looks at the light for any more than 1 minute, the subject will go completely blind as well as the subject's epidermis will begin to melt.
Designation: LO-257
LO-257.
Description: A VHS tape titled "Teddy's Basic's in Behavior for 5+"
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When viewed by anyone older than 5 years old the viewer will begin to physically age backward, every day will serve as 1 year and the effects will wear off once the subject reverts back to a 5-year-old child. Once the effects wear off the subject will begin to age normally again.
Designation: LO-258
Description: An oil painting of the Mona Lisa assumed to be created by a member of The Academy of True Art.
Site Location: Site-047
Properties: Each time LO-258 is viewed, the Mona Lisa will have different accessories or outfits such as sunglasses, a policeman uniform, a fedora, or most notably wearing the lab coat of Dr. Stevens.
Note from Dr. Parnish: Let's be honest, the Mona Lisa makes that outfit work.
Designation: None
Description: To prevent complications, LO-259 has been retired. See LO-260 for more information.
Site Location: None
Properties: None
Designation: LO-260
Description: An empty lighter
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Object acts as a minor infohazard. When an attempt is made to classify the object with a number, the number will invariably end up as one higher than intended.
Designation: LO-261
Description: A mirror with a steel frame
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Any movement in the mirror will be delayed compared to everything around it as if it were a live recording.
Designation: LO-262
Description: A Camel branded box of cigarettes, the box contains 757 6 cigarettes.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each cigarette will remain lit no matter the situation, even underwater.
Designation: LO-263
Description: A box of (10) Peeps marshmallows for the Easter season.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-263 instances are sentient, animate, and behave as ordinary rabbits.
Designation: LO-264
Description: Black wireless headphones
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The wearer will be able to understand all animals within a 5m radius.
Designation: LO-265
Description: A diamond ring
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The wearer anomalously repels all Aggression Hazard anomalies.
Designation: LO-266
Description: A copy the children's book Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss
Site Location: Site-047
Properties: The reader's tongue will twist into a perfect knot when reading for 5 minutes
Designation: LO-267
Description: US President Joe Biden's wrist watch.
Site Location: Site-047
Properties: The wearer will stutter uncontrollably when speaking.
LO-268
Designation: LO-268
Description: A Krispy Kreme branded box of glazed donuts (12)
Site Location: The cafeteria of Site-002
Properties: The box will refill with freshly baked donuts each time it is closed.
Designation: LO-269
Description: A blonde wig
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The wearer's skin pigmentation will change to an orange color.
Designation: LO-270
Description: A rubik's cube
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Every 5 seconds, each square tile changes color deeming it impossible to solve. There have been no known instances where it solves itself.
Designation: LO-271
Description: A cardboard box
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Those viewing LO-271 will become curious as to what is inside of it. Once it is opened, the subject will have entirely lost their curiosity.
Designation: LO-272
Description: A functioning model AR-15 composed of different parts of Nerf toy guns.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When LO-272 is loaded with foam darts of any make, its anomalous properties will become active. When a foam dart is fired at an anomalous human, designated LO-272-A, will begin to spasm uncontrollably. LO-272-A will then begin to liquify into an unidentifiable liquid that instantaneously evaporates. During LO-272-A’s spasms, scars will begin to appear on the skin of each appendage creating the phrase “Dreams that kill dreams.”
Designation: LO-273
Description: A wedding ring composed of 50% silver, 40% gold, and 10% carbon with several Abrahamic symbols carved throughout the exterior of the ring.
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: When an individual of the Abrahamic faiths adorns the ring on any of their fingers, the individual will be immune to all forms of possession. Additionally, all low threat demonic entities, curses, and/or phenomenon will be dispelled.
Note: LO-273 was found within an Auctoritas vault in Venice, Italy.
Designation: LO-274
Description: One (1) modified Almagro-Variant Groves Counter
Site Location: Site-017
Properties: LO-274 is able to detect deific entities within an area of 30 km. Additionally, all anomalous properties exhibited by deific entities will experience a 30% decrease in efficiency.
Designation: LO-275
Description: A photo of former First Lady Michelle Obama
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-275’s anomalous properties activate when within an area used for cooking. All food cooked in the presence of LO-275, regardless of the quality of the chef, will always taste repulsive to any subject who consumes the food. Additionally, if LO-275 remains in an area used for cooking for more than 72 hours, a paper card will appear with the following phrase:
Thanks for making my food taste like shit Obama!
Note: LO-275 was found in the Saint Paul’s House Soup Kitchen for the Homeless in ██████, Nevada.
Designation: LO-276
Description: A carton filled with 176 pills. The front of the carton is labeled “Amazing! Co Baby B Gone Pills - Prototype Series.”
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-276 anomalous properties manifest when a pill, designated LO-276-A, is ingested by a subject. After a period of time ranging from five seconds to five hours after ingestion of LO-276-A, the subject's genitals will detonate with a force of [DATA EXPUNGED]. This usually results in death through exsanguination.
Designation: LO-277
Description: The severed hand of Dr. Lyn Lee. The word “joke” can be found carved on the palm of the hand.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When a subject views LO-277, the subject will develop a severe form of Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA).58
Designation: LO-278
Description: Twenty (20) instances of Rattus norvegicus.59
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-278 exhibits an anomalous digestive system where all organic material within LO-278’s digestive system is transmuted into pieces of milk chocolate. The milk chocolate is then excreted through the anus of the organisms. It is unknown how LO-278 converts organic matter into milk chocolate. Examinations of deceased instances of LO-278 have revealed their stomach to be filled with an acidic substance similar properties to cow milk.
Designation: LO-279
Description: One (1) Bastard Sword composed damascus steel. The Elder Futhark Rune of Kenaz60 on each side of the blade.
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: When a human subject wields LO-279, the subject has a greater awareness of its surroundings. Additionally, as a subject wields LO-279, they will develop an increased interest in the sciences.
Designation: LO-280
Description: A carnivorous organism resembling a “pocket pussy.”
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When a male organism places their genitalia within LO-280, the organism teeth will appear from several cavities within LO-280. The teeth and surrounding muscles are strong enough to separate the male genitalia from the body. After consuming, LO-280 will start to digest the organic material within it via unknown digestive enzymes.
Genetic analysis shows that LO-280 are similar to instances of Holothuroidea.61
Designation: LO-281
Description: A Taurus TH9 pistol.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When aimed at an individual under 13 years of age, the pistol is incapable of firing.
Note: It is unknown how LO-281's properties were initially discovered, but repeated testing has confirmed them.
Designation: LO-282
Description: A 1.9 meter marble statue of an unidentified caucasian female with long stranded hair.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-282 is a fully animate and sapient entity. How the entity is able to move is currently under study. LO-282 expresses full loyalty to the Authority and its personnel. LO-282 expresses a desire to be a chef at Site-002’s cafeteria.
LO-282 exhibits a secondary anomalous effect when it attempts to cook. All food cooked by LO-282, regardless of perfection in cooking skills at the time, will transmute into charcoal when the food reaches a state LO-282 deems as “done.”
Designation: LO-283
Description: Amazing! Co. brand freeze balls.
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: When an instance of LO-283 is thrown and impacts an organism, said organism will cease all movement and attempt to stand perfectly still for five minutes.
Designation: LO-284
Description: A [DATA EXPUNGED] University Acceptance Letter.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When a subject holds LO-284, they will immediately hold the belief that they were a graduate from [DATA EXPUNGED] University. Subjects will describe events, locations, and people they believe to have attended the location with them. There are no records of a [DATA EXPUNGED] University existing within the United States.
Notes: All tests with LO-284 have been postponed indefinitely.
Designation: LO-285
Description: A 2x2 meter block of an unknown stone.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: All attempts to confirm the existence of LO-285 with the exception of visual observations, will yield no results. Attempts to take samples of the rock composing LO-285 results with the extraction tools phasing through the stone.
Note: “We believe the object is of extra-dimensional origins, but I doubt we can even test for that. For all intents and purposes, LO-285 is just a block of stone that can’t be tested.” - Rsc. Adam J. Fernando
Designation: LO-286
Description: Two (2) six-sided dice.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When inert, LO-286 will appear to have six sides. When a subject rolls LO-286, it exhibits a possibility of landing on a number higher than six. Personnel viewing numbers higher than six will claim to exhibit severe headaches while viewing the anomaly. Once the object is rolled again while a higher number is present on the dice, the object will return to its six-sided state.
Addendum: LO-286 was discovered in a [DATA EXPUNGED] when a seven year old child rolled LO-286. LO-286 apparently landed on the number “326” causing the child to have a seizure due to the complex and paranatural geometry of the cube. Two Authority agents were dispatched to the area and LO-286 was taken to Site-002. A cover story was administered to the local population to explain the event.
Note: “Jesus Christ Daniel, no! You cannot use LO-286 as a recreational object. I should demote you for asking such a stupid question.”
Designation: LO-287
Description: A complex machine composed of two metal
cylinders (designated LO-287-A & LO-287-B) connected by two glass pipes. A label with the phrase “Piss Generator” can be found on LO-287-A.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When water is poured into LO-287-A in LO-287’s powered state, the water will flow through the lower glass tube into LO-287-B. While in LO-287-B, an unknown process hypothesized to be alchemical in origin will transmute the water into urine. The urine can be extracted from LO-287-B. If the urine is not extracted within five minutes, the process will reverse and the urine will flow into the upper glass pipe into LO-287-A. While im LO-287, the urine will be transmuted into water. Test of the water created from the urine to have no abnormal properties and to be perfectly drinkable.
Designation: LO-288
Description: An instance of Canis lupus familiaris of the breed Toy Poodle.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When LO-288 is placed within a 50 meter radius of a hostile non-humanoid entity, said entity will become completely passive and attempt to play with LO-288. Over time, the aggressive entity will lose all aggressive tendencies and form a bond with LO-288. Said entities will also be passive toward Authority personnel.
Addendum: LO-288 has been used to lower the Lethality Rating of 13 Beta-Red and Beta-Purple RPCs to white and yellow ratings.
Incident: On 09/04/2001, LO-288 passed away during the taming of RPC-███. ASF units were alerted as it was believed that RPC-███ would break confinement. Instead, RPC-███ became visibly depressed. Five days later, RPC-███ self-terminated itself by ramming its heart organ against the wall of its containment cell.
Designation: LO-289
Description: A 5 kg pile of charcoal.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When an organism is near LO-289, the pile of charcoal will self-assemble itself into the shape resembling the nearest organism near it.
Designation: LO-290
Description: A vintage metal twin bell alarm clock.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-290 will begin to ring when an individual within a 100 meter radius of the object dies.
Designation: LO-291
Description: Water balloons numbered LO-291-1 to LO-291-20 on each balloon.
Site Location: Site-004
Properties: LO-291 instances will not break, no matter the amount of force used.
Designation: LO-292
Description: 10 gray/black dogs, designated LO-292-1 to LO-292-10. Species is unknown.
Site Location: Site-004
Properties: LO-292's primary anomalous effect activates when a human subject enters within a meter radius of an LO-292 instance, they will begin to feel a sudden urge to pet them, even if they have Cynophobia.
LO-292 secondary anomalous effect activates when an instance is unfed or feels 'unloved' due to the lack of interaction with human subjects. The 'unloved LO-292 instance will begin to bark uncontrollably, attracting anyone within hearing distance towards them, forcing interaction.
Addendum: Due to Incident-LO-292-1, LO-292 has been requested RPC status.
Designation: LO-293
Description: A copy of the book “Charlie’s Guide to Learning Korean.”
Site Location: Site-014
Properties: Subjects that make physical contact with LO-293 will suffer a severe headache for 24 hours. During this time period subjects will start gaining knowledge on the Korean language. After the 24 hour period, the subject will have a full understanding of both the Korean language and Sino-Korean writings.
Incident-L293:LO-293 was destroyed during the June Site-014 Fail-Safe Incident.
Designation: LO-294
Description: A small stone statue depicting a pregnant feminine humanoid entity.
Site Location: Site-017
Properties: LO-294 anomalous properties activate when a infertile female human comes within a distance of 20 meters to the object. LO-294 will begin to heat up as a bright light is emitted above the head of LO-294. After this event, the infertile human female will be cured of their infertility. It is unknown how LO-294 accomplishes its anomalous properties. Currently, it is hypothesized that the EM radiation emitted from above LO-294’s head may contain the answer to LO-294’s anomalous properties.
Note: LO-294 was found within Antarctic Region 17 within a location of interest known as the “Cold Vault.”
Designation: LO-295
Description: A sica dagger dated to be █,███ years old
Site Location: Site-017
Properties: When thrusted into a wound, LO-295 will begin to repair the damaged organic matter around it at a rapid rate. It is unknown how LO-295 accomplishes this phenomenon. While healing damaged organic matter, LO-295’s temperature has been seen to increase by 2 degrees Celsius.
Note: LO-295 was found within Antarctic Region 17 within the “Cold Vault.” The Cold Vault is a series of underground structures currently being understudy by Authority researchers.
Designation: LO-296
Description: One (1) candy cane.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Any organic matter that comes into contact with LO-296 will be instantaneously converted into the materials that make up LO-296.
Designation: LO-297
Description: A [DATA EXPUNGED] Brand MK. 1 Washing Machine.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When powered and activated, objects placed within LO-297 will transform into their basic chemical components.
Designation: LO-298
Description: A Doorman Umbrella.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When open, LO-298 will release a torrent of water from below the canopy of the umbrella. Where this water comes from is currently unknown.
Note: As of 01/08/2021, LO-298 has stopped exhibiting its anomalous properties and is currently designated as neutralized.
Designation: LO-299
Description: A rubber duck composed of an unknown plastic-like material.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When LO-299 is placed in water, the material that composes the object will begin to secrete an oily substance with similar properties to bath soap. This substance, designated LO-299-A, has been observed to be ten times more efficient than regular bath soaps. Research into how to duplicate LO-299-A is currently way.
Designation: LO-300
Description: A [DATA EXPUNGED] Series B Mountain Bike.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When ridden by a humanoid subject, LO-300 will begin to accelerate to a maximum speed of 268 km/hr. Once a subject reaches 269 km/hr, the subject will anomalously combust through unknown means. Once the subject's skeletal system is exposed by the combustion, LO-300 will instantaneously stop causing the subject’s cadaver to accelerate off the bike.
Designation: LO-301
Description: A yearly calender with the year 2016 printed through the whole calender.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each image used for each month will appear as a different image based of the person viewing it. These images will be of the person's personal memories and will only be visible to the person whose memories are displayed.
Designation: LO-3021-24
Description: A collection of commonplace bartering items including cigarettes, foodstuffs, various digital devices of no apparent origin, and no indications as to their manufacturing.
Site Location: RPC-947
Properties: All perishable items are in an anomalous state of preservation, however they collapse into dust when handled. Those with more robust composition, such as metal devices, have 20-33% of their mass eroded instantaneously upon use. Strangely, those isntances that contains metals that have a history of being used as currency, such as silver and gold, do not experience any of these anomalous effects.
Designation: LO-303
Description: A Colt M1911 Handgun.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever someone makes physical contact with LO-303, they immediately feel the urge to put it into the ground.
Designation: LO-304
Description: A clay Bobcat.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Much like LO-250, LO-304 is sentient and displays the characteristics of a Bobcat, but is made out of non-anomalous clay. LO-304 must be fed three times a month, and is allowed to freely roam the site with a collar and ASF supervision as a reward for good behavior.
Designation: LO-305
Description: A series of six stuffed teddy bears (designated LO-305-1 through LO-305-6) with the phrase “The Boo Boo Bears” on the stomach.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When an instance of LO-305 is handed to a non-Authority affiliated subject or non-human entity, said instance will activate its anomalous properties. LO-305 instances’ will give away the location of the LO-305 carrying subject by manifesting a paper note with the exact coordinates of the subject within the office of [DATA EXPUNGED] in Site-002.
Note: LO-305-1 through -5 are currently being utilized to track the location of three RPCs and two PoIs.
Designation: LO-306
Description: One (1) kg of a black substance with salt-like properties.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: N/A.
Addendum: LO-306 was created by the Authority Department of Occult Concerns during a ritual experiment with the purpose of creating purified salt. The ritual was flawed and the salt used during the experiment transformed into LO-306.
Designation: LO-307
Description: A small tungsten cube.
Site Location: N/A. Theorized to be somewhere in trans-neptunian orbit.
Properties: When approached or observed, LO-307 will bend space-time to appear further away from the observer.
Designation: LO-308
Description: A sub-species of P. nearctica.
Site Location: Site-002, Site-008, Site-016, Site-051, generally uncontained.
Properties: When an instance of LO-308 enters the mouth of a human, an unknown alchemical reaction will occur that converts the entire LO-308 instance into milk chocolate.
Designation: LO-309
Description: A Halloween Cowboy Costume.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-309 is worn, the subject will gain the knowledge of each name contained within the Judah Lee Correctional Facility.
Designation: LO-310
Description: One (1) pair of sandals.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-310 anomalous properties activate when worn by a human subject. When a subject attempts to enter water, the bottom of LO-310 will begin to cool to 0°C from a distance of 100 mm. This causes the water to convert to ice.
Designation: LO-311
Description: A crumpled tissue paper covered in blood and mucus.
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: LO-311 is capable of manifesting various forms of bacteria and fungi on its surface. These bacteria and fungi appear to originate from several alternate reality versions of Earth. Several RPCs and LOs originate from LO-311.
Designation: LO-312
Description: A "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" book journal
Site Location: Site-006
Properties: LO-312 displays the name of the person that last came into contact with it.
LO-313.
Designation: LO-313
Description: A bacon cheeseburger of no associated brand or restaurant chain. LO-313 always appears on a light yellow colored glass plate.
Site Location: Site-024
Properties: LO-313 is capable of manifesting anywhere within a room that is 70° F or over. As of now, LO-313 has only manifested in rooms located within Site-024. Despite occasionally remaining in-place for multiple days, LO-313 does not show signs of spoilage. Once LO-313 is fully consumed, 4-6 hours after consuming LO-313, the subject will find a sticky note attached to any of their possessions that reads as follows:
you found the burger good job!!! [sic]
After the note is found, LO-313 will re-manifest in another location.
Designation: LO-314
Description: A multicolored62 axolotl.
Site Location: Site-095
Properties: Individuals who touch LO-314 will begin to view all solid objects as a multicolored for approximately 20 to 25 minutes.
Designation: LO-315
Description: LO-315 is an empty peanut butter jar while LO-315-1 are all entities produced by the jar.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any non-living solid object that is capable of fitting inside will gain sentience within 5 seconds of placing the object inside. Once sentience has been achieved, the LO-315-1 instance will attempt to walk/run in random patterns, though slightly more difficult for objects lacking proper "appendages".
Note: Do not place gingerbread cookies in the jar, though if you do at least bite off the legs first.
LO-316 during recovery by MST Echo-9.
Designation: LO-316
Description: A grey yoga mat with a tag in the corner reading "Amazing! Co.'s Weight Loss Yoga Mat"
Site Location: Site-047
Properties: Subject's body weight will begin to decrease at a rapid rate once they begin to rest on top of LO-316. The effect does not wear off until the subject has removed themselves from the mat.
Designation: LO-317
Description: An Elefun63 electronic board game.
Site Location: Site-009
Properties: If LO-317 is activated, the plastic "trunk" will expel hundreds of Danaus plexippus (monarch butterflies). The butterflies that are expelled from LO-317 are non-anomalous, and all butterflies must be captured and disposed of in a humane manner.
Designation: LO-318
Description: A white ceramic mug with the American flag printed on the right side from the handle.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Once a subject has begun to drink from LO-318, alcohol will begin to enter the subject's mouth despite the mug's empty state. The alcohol has been confirmed to vary based on the subject's prefered alcohol brand.
Designation: LO-319
Description: A set of 20 single-colored Christmas ornaments.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each ornament will begin to change to a randomized color every second. The color in which the ornament will change will be between red, blue, green, purple, yellow, orange, or silver.
Designation: LO-320
Description: A set of (2) cat ear headbands.
Site Location: Site-038
Properties: The wearer will obtain the capability to understand sounds emitted by all species of felis catus.
Designation: LO-321
Description: A party size bag of Takis.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The inside of the bag will refill with the corresponding amount taken out initially.
LO-322
Designation: LO-322
Description: A single Santa hat.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The wearer of LO-322 will begin to hear Mariah Carrey's rendition of "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on repeat until the hat has been removed.
LO-323
Designation: LO-323
Description: A silver-colored whistle keychain.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Blowing into LO-323 causes the user to lose the capacity to produce ordinary noises from the oral cavity for a short period of time. Those noises will be substituted with a sound that is identical to a whistle. Approximately 1 hour from its initial use, LO-323's anomalous affects will begin to dissipate. The effects take roughly 10 to 15 minutes to wear off entirely.
LO-324
Designation: LO-324
Description: A cab driver's hat from the 1920s.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The wearer will aquire the personality of a New York City cab driver from between 1920 and 1929.
Designation: LO-325
Description: One CD copy of the hip-hop album Life After Death by the late artist The Notorious B.I.G
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Once inserted on a CD player and subsequently started, any cadaver within 20m of LO-325 will begin to generate a rhythmic sound similar to a low-pitched drum. These sounds generate from the torso of the corpse affected and are always synchronized to the current song's beat per minute.
Notes: LO-325 was confiscated from Site-016's janitor Rwjikavic Vince. Following a Containment Failure that claimed the lives of 4 security personnel, the janitorial team was called for decontamination and sterilization duty at Hallway-03. Unaware of its anomalous properties, the subject decided to activate LO-325 as he was cleaning the viscera and blood of the hallway ceiling. Security was notified, and Vince was interrogated on the spot. However, no information was found regarding LO-325, and it is currently undetermined how it became anomalous in the first place.
Designation: LO-326
Description: A Size 7 T-Shirt with the Amazing Co! logo on the front facing side.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Subjects that wear LO-326 will exhibit intrusive memories of attending a university known as the University of Amazing Peoples in Spartanburg, South Carolina. No such university exists within Spartanburg. Memories obtained by the subject include, but are not limited to: attending lectures on anomalous concepts, staying within a dorm that shifts its position in space, and eating strange Amazing Co! branded foods at a cafeteria. These intrusive memories will halt when LO-326 is removed.
Designation: LO-327
Description: A USB drive with an altered copy of Doom (designated LO-327-A).
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-327 is connected to a USB port, it will force the computer to run the LO-327-A game. LO-327-A contains all base assets of its original non-altered game with the exception of the enemies. All enemies within the game have been reskinned to resemble Authority personnel. Subjects that play LO-327-A will begin to develop anti-Authority sentiments. This has been noted throughout all playthroughs utilizing CSD personnel.
Addendum: LO-327 was discovered on the [DATA EXPUNGED] campus in its computer lab. LO-327 caused several students to rally to create an anti-Authority protest. Agents sent to investigate the protest found that the protesters had little to no knowledge about the Authority. Disinformation campaigns were published to discredit the protesters. Acquisition agents found the following note attached to LO-327.
DEATH TO THE AUTHORITY DEMONS
Designation: LO-328
Description: An empty hardcover book.
Site Location: Site-007
Properties: Subjects that open LO-328 will perceive the book to contain a story. The story contained by LO-328 will differ from subject to subject.
Designation: LO-329
Description: A pink sticky note(LO-329-A) attached to a broken computer mouse (LO-329-B).
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: LO-329 anomalous properties activate when LO-329-A is attached to LO-329-B. When a subject attempts to utilize LO-329-B while LO-329-A is attached, the subject will begin to ponder the thought of “self improvement”. After making contact with LO-329, the subject will make attempts to improve their own lives through various methods.
LO-329-A displays the following written on its front facing side:
GO OUTSIDE, BREATHE!
Designation: LO-330
Description: 50 kg of an unknown bio-memetic compound contained within a canister with the Amazing Co! logo on its front.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When an organism ingest the LO-330 material, they will exhibit a strong desire to change their diets to one that includes exclusively flora. Subjects that have ingested the material will show a hostile aversion to the consumption of meat in many forms. The effects this has on a human subject’s health is currently under study.
If a carnivorous non-sapient organism ingest the LO-330 material, they will change all behaviors to consume local flora. This includes flora that can not be digested by the organism. In all tests conducted on carnivorous animals, all have expired due to malnutrition.
Designation: LO-331
Description: A vintage stove top toaster.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any electric toaster that is over 1 km to LO-331 ratio will get malfunction. It will also malfunction any electronic depicting an electric toaster such as a computer playing an After Dark screensaver.
Note: LO-331 was discovered in 195█ in an attic in [DATA EXPUNGED]] Massachusetts through reports from civilians about their electric toasters being malfunction.
Designation: LO-332
Description: A terracotta sculpture depicting 18 naked, life-sized humanoid figures holding each other with distressed or shocked expressions.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any human subject who touches LO-332 will have their body fixed to the item. Over the duration of approximately 5 minutes, the subject's body will convert to immobile terracotta from the feet upwards.
LO-332's existence was known to the Auctoritas by 1826, while it was in the possession of an underground anomalous cult. It was not until 1838, after the group's elimination, that the item could be recovered. LO-332 briefly received an RPC designation, but was reclassified as a lesser anomaly due to its ease of containment and the ethical implications of further research.
Designation: LO-333
Description: A US five-dollar bill
Site Location: Site-015
Properties: When viewed in one's peripheral vision, the image of Abraham Lincoln will appear to be screaming.
Designation: LO-334
Description: A Glock 19X pistol.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: While LO-334 is unloaded, any human above the age of 13 that comes into physical contact with LO-334 will have a Glock 19X magazine fully loaded with 9x19mm Parabellum manifest within their esophagus. The magazine does not hinder the respiratory or digestive systems of the individual that touched LO-334 nor do the bodily fluids of the individual damage the magazine. LO-334 will manifest up to 5 magazines inside the same individual if the firearm has not been loaded after subsequent physical contact.
Note: LO-334's anomalous properties were first reported to the Authority by ASF officer Staff Sergeant Ryan P. Coleman after noticing that he had defecated 5 intact Glock 19X magazines during a lunch break.
LO-335.
Designation: LO-335
Description: A Polaroid photograph of a clown with a white backdrop.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Individuals with homosexual orientations are unable to perceive the clown in LO-335.
Designation: LO-336
Description: Latex condoms branded with the Church of Malthus insignia.
Site Location: Site-016, various other locations
Properties: Items are unbreakable and impervious to physical damage.
LO-336 has been mass-produced on a limited scale by the Church of Malthus, and instances are frequently discovered in raided facilities and among the possessions of former personnel. It seems to exist as more of a "gag item", but a small count have been recovered with evidence of use.
Note: If I hear one more quip about this, I'd like you to meet some of the guys in our Protection Division who gave up their lives to keep these sick fucks at bay. -Assistant Site Director Gibbins
Designation: LO-337
Description: A totem of Site-070's site director crucified on a metal cross.
Site Location: Site-070
Properties: When LO-337 is placed upon an anomalous object that can manipulate reality, the item will completely nullify the object's reality bending abilities.
Designation: LO-338
Description: An inanimate wooden humanoid automaton internally composed of wooden gears and pulleys.
Site Location: Site-305
Properties: The items anomalous qualities are only observable upon individuals attempting to learn Italian. When a subject is within a 10 m2 area of the item, their proficiency in learning the language increases by 110%.
Designation: LO-339
Description: A 2014 Chevrolet Equinox of blue coloration.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: When a subject enters LO-339 with a destination in mind, the vehicle will automatically activate and drive to the intended location without driver input. Inspection of LO-339 reveals no components that would allow it to conduct these actions non-anomalously.
Designation: LO-340
Description: A complex para-technological device that resembles a tablet with a red button at its center.
Site Location: Site-001
Properties: When a subject presses the devices, the subject and the device will be instantaneously teleported to a random Authority site across the world. Note: All tests conducted with the device have not resulted in the subject arriving at any site outside of Earth. This includes sites within anomalous locations.
Addendum: The device is theorized to have been built by an unknown group of interest. LO-340 was found in the hands of a Daniel McCormick who had managed to teleport to a containment chamber within Site-001. There he was apprehended and is currently kept on-site for further questioning on LO-340.
Designation: LO-341
Description: A Mike Tyson branded vape with "lung pulverizer" written on the back in silver marker.
Site Location: Site-020
Properties: When a subject inhales from the device for a period lasting longer than 6.7 seconds, they will experience an instantaneous onset of small cell lung cancer. Medical recovery is extremely rare due to the anomalous speed at which the cancer spreads.
Designation: LO-342
Description: One (1) American Dad DVD box set.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When any of three discs from the set are played, all clocks within the room will switch to display a time of 4:31 AM. Objects which electronically store dates will switch to display 11/26/2008.
Designation: LO-343
Description: A portable Motorola A19T2 television set produced in 1961.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The screen of the object acts as a window into a barren desert landscape. Interface knobs do not have any effect.
Experiment: CSD-5714 was instructed to watch LO-343 for 2 straight hours, with occasional staff interaction. At the end of the trial, CSD-5714 noted "very few things of interest". The next day, CSD-5714 got into an argument with a cellmate and vented exasperation towards "the laughter".
Designation: LO-344
Description: A drawer containing a multitude of pop culture memorabilia.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The drawer contains media that does not exist, hereafter referred to as LO-344-1. Research and testing has confirmed that all LO-344-1 instances are not forgeries. The drawer contains the following LO-344-1 instances:
- A 2019 book titled The Natural Beauty of Computing, authored by Terrance Andrew Davis64 and Theodore Kaczynski.65 The book discusses the influence of nature on inventions and the academic findings of the two authors.
- A version of Archie Comics' Sonic the Hedgehog Issue no. 244 featuring characters created by Ken Penders.66
- A tapestry dated c. 240 BCE titled King Ashoka the Terrible depicting a version of King Ashoka that did not convert to Buddhism. The tapestry depicts King Ashoka as a murderous tyrant and an avatar of the Hindu deity Skanda.
- A 2015 book titled MacArthur the Unthinkable: America's Most Controversial Presidency, authored by █████ █████. The book discusses the presidency of Douglas MacArthur, particularly his involvement in the defeat of the Soviet Union in 1950.
- A published DVD copy of Disney's Kingdom of the Sun.67
- A DVD containing a 1976 movie titled Dune, directed by Alejandro Jodorowsky.68
- A DVD containing a Nickolodeon animated TV series titled ██████ ██ █ ███████ ██████, directed by Dave Kelly.69 Viewers experienced discomfort upon viewing the series. DVD casing was damaged and the date of publication could not be discerned.
- A painting dated 1574 titled El Noble Duque Atahualpa70, depicting a version of Incan Emperor Atahualpha that became governor of a Christian Peru.
- A supplement for Games Workshop's tabletop wargame Warhammer 40,000 titled Imperial Armour 14: Fire of Cyraxus.71
- A completed version of J.R. Tolkien's The New Shadow dated to 1961.
- A published copy of George R.R. Martin's The Winds of Winter dated to 2015.
- A six-piece VHS boxset containing a trilogy of television movies adapting Timothy Zahn's popular Thrawn Trilogy of Star Wars novels. While much of the cast remains the same from George Lucas's original film trilogy, some cast members have been replaced. Most notably, Han Solo has been recasted from Harrison Ford to Richard Dean Anderson.72
- A DVD copy of the game Half Life 2 Episode 4: Return to Ravenholme published by Valve Software and developed by Arkane Studios.
- A DVD containing a rerelease of the Metal Gear Solid games directed by Hideo Kojima for the PlayStation 3, dated to 2010. Interestingly, the compendium did not include any game released after Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes.
- A framed photograph of Queen Liliuokalani of the Kingdom of Hawaii and U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt shaking hands dated to 1905. Image is captioned: "Our lovely queen meets with President Roosevelt."
- A framed photograph of an as of yet unidentified U.S. President of indeterminate ethnicity standing next to an identical copy of himself and a transparent golden retriever.
- An I.D. badge belonging to a ██ ██████ ████████ working for GoI-███ [DATA EXPUNGED]. Item was later relocated to Site-██.
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