Registered Phenomena Code: BUTT

Object Class: Alpha-White

Hazard Types: Sentient, Sapient (?), Mechanical, Aggression


Photograph of RPC-BUTT-A in an inert state.

Containment Protocols: RPC-BUTT-A and BUTT-B are currently stored within the LO Anomalous Storage Losers of Site-305. Dossiers produced by RPC-BUTT are to be distributed among personnel for comedic purposes.

Description: RPC-BUTT designates two tangentially related anomalies, BUTT-A and BUTT-B.

RPC-BUTT-A is a "Bedtime Originals Blossom Plush Bunny Stuffed Animal Toy", animated by the ectoplasmic remains of Dr. Snood of Site-305 in Kucinoka, Florida.

RPC-BUTT-B is an Underwood Touch-Master 5 typewriter. While unobserved, RPC-BUTT-B manifests a sheet of paper through currently unknown means. When in proximity to one another, RPC-BUTT-A will utilize the typewriter to write out an entirely fictional and generally poorly-formatted attempt at an official Authority document (RPC-BUTT-C). Aberrations exist (RPC-BUTT-D) that deviate from the format to a greater extent, often in the form of short stories.

While their substance is rarely, if ever, consistent, RPC-BUTT-C/D instances are universally incredibly ridiculous in their implications, highly irreverent to Authority protocols and procedures, and possess little to no understanding of the titles and terminology used by Authority personnel.

This process varies wildly in the time taken to produce it and the content thereof, ranging from 3 days to like, a year, and once completed, the anomaly becomes completely inert for however long she feels like I guess.

Addendum 1: Documented RPC-BUTT-C Instances

  • RPC-341 - AMALGAMATE, Or Children of Wrath
  • RPC-YYY - ERLKOENIG, Or The Threat of Predestination
  • RPC-611 - WRAITH, Or The Antidote to the Human Condition
  • RPC-612 - MONUMENT, Or History Without A Home
  • RPC-613 - PASIGRAPH, Or Rise and Rend Asunder
  • RPC-614 - YATAGARASU, Or The Three Legged Crow
  • RPC-617 - FREEDOM, or The Worlds We Make
  • RPC-619 - EXTINCT, Or The Sunlight Moths of Scotland
  • RPC-782 - Exit Albert: An Investigation Lacking Due Presidents
  • RPC-784 - Enter Again: Memoirs of a Blood-Bather

Addendum 2: Documented RPC-BUTT-D Aberrations

Addendum 3: Undeveloped Instances (BUTT-E/R)

- finish serket
- rewrite second half of 613
- finish lapith
- http://rpcauthority.wikidot.com/forum/t-15109298/rpc-616:the-architect-s-heart helpless folk 🥺

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