Registered Phenomena Code: BUTT
Object Class: Alpha-White
Hazard Types: Sentient, Sapient (?), Mechanical, Aggression
Photograph of RPC-BUTT-A in an inert state.
Containment Protocols: RPC-BUTT-A and BUTT-B are currently stored within the LO Anomalous Storage Losers of Site-305. Dossiers produced by RPC-BUTT are to be distributed among personnel for comedic purposes.
Description: RPC-BUTT designates two tangentially related anomalies, BUTT-A and BUTT-B.
RPC-BUTT-A is a "Bedtime Originals Blossom Plush Bunny Stuffed Animal Toy", animated by the ectoplasmic remains of Dr. Snood of Site-305 in Kucinoka, Florida.
RPC-BUTT-B is an Underwood Touch-Master 5 typewriter. While unobserved, RPC-BUTT-B manifests a sheet of paper through currently unknown means. When in proximity to one another, RPC-BUTT-A will utilize the typewriter to write out an entirely fictional and generally poorly-formatted attempt at an official Authority document (RPC-BUTT-C). Aberrations exist (RPC-BUTT-D) that deviate from the format to a greater extent, often in the form of short stories.
While their substance is rarely, if ever, consistent, RPC-BUTT-C/D instances are universally incredibly ridiculous in their implications, highly irreverent to Authority protocols and procedures, and possess little to no understanding of the titles and terminology used by Authority personnel.
This process varies wildly in the time taken to produce it and the content thereof, ranging from 3 days to like, a year, and once completed, the anomaly becomes completely inert for however long she feels like I guess.
Addendum 0: SANDBOXES EVERYWHERE!! look if you want these ideas you can use them
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/butter-zone-3
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/butter-2-boogaloo-d
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/buttercowboyzone
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/buttermaterialzone
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/butter-working-area
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/butter-4-help-me
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/the-barren-womb-the-empty-moon
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/butterpatentzone
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/extinct-eois vapor lore
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/bettermybutter
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/butterdantezone
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/tax-and-butter-s-sunlight-moth-draft
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/islamgoi i like this one
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/buttercorpsezone
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/butter-memetics-analysis
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/marfbutterfeb2022
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/serket
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/hellsverg-fourth
http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/bettermybutter
http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/bettermybutter
http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/bettermybutter
Addendum 1: Documented RPC-BUTT-C Instances
- RPC-341 - AMALGAMATE, Or Children of Wrath
Amalgamate was the first actual SCP I ever started working on, and is the first draft I submitted to their greenlight forum. It never got greenlit whatsoever, but I had a strange affection for it given my love/fear of body horror and other more personal issues. I unironically enjoy this one, and I'm forever amazed that I managed to get it up, given everything that happened between it being written and it being posted here.
Its original working title was Cronenbaby. I think that was pretty funny.
Its also probably my best work, judging by the ratings, which is awesome since this took forever to write. My work after this didn't really have the same amount of effort put in, but at the same time they didn't have as rough a start. 341 is good, but the conditions and effort that made it good aren't really sustainable.
- RPC-YYY - ERLKOENIG, Or The Threat of Predestination
This one hasn't been posted yet, but it was what almost led to me being an SCP author instead of an RPC one. After AMALGAMATE wasn't well received, I put this one up on the forums and it was greenlit twice and approved of in a few days. In fact, I got a few popular SCP authors to look and it and they LIKED IT. I was over the moon.
Then a lot happened. Put a wrench in things. Definitely took a good look at the SCP community.
I decided not to stick around. I still haven't been able to work on ERLKOENIG for a long time.
- RPC-611 - WRAITH, Or The Antidote to the Human Condition
611 is a tough one to go over. After I posted 341, something else came up, and among other things, led to me leaving the RPC community for a little while. My brother was the one who actually came up with the basic idea of ghosts in an abandoned Russian city, and the idea of a German scientist causing it, and the rest became a very drawn-out analysis of an anomaly that ends with it deciding it wanted to blow itself up.
The execution of my articles tends to be what brings them down, in the end, and I think 611 is a painfully obvious example of just that.
Also, over half of it was written ON THE SANDBOX on my PHONE in the CAR. I had to work with that CSS (I used the code from here btw) on a tiny little screen. It was fun!
- RPC-612 - MONUMENT, Or History Without A Home
MONUMENT proved an excellent, albeit shoddily executed, canvas for alternate history fun.
I think it was Almarduk who said this idea basically wrote itself. There isn't too much to say about 612 once you're done reading it. I was a little disappointed with it, but I still love it.
- RPC-613 - PASIGRAPH, Or Rise and Rend Asunder
"Rise and rend asunder, ye old kings of Babylon." That's what PASIGRAPH spawned from, and the word Pasigraph itself I got from "Children of Dune" by Frank Herbert. 613 was originally going to be grander, and I even had an MST planned who specialized in translation via RPC-613-B, and there was going to be a tale of RPC-613-A breaking out and going on a crusade against the Authority and-
It was too much. In the end, it felt like it was just rotting in my sandbox and I felt like I had to post it. Ultimately, it was dissapointing. Another article to rewrite later.
- RPC-614 - YATAGARASU, Or The Three Legged Crow
This is probably second to 341 in terms of quality. This took forever to write and I was (trying) to keep in touch with the JP branch for translation and accuracy, and it turned out pretty well. Satoshi was one of the biggest helpers with this, and I'm forever grateful for his patience.
Yatagarasu is a mythological creature, meant to represent the MST this article introduces.
- RPC-617 - FREEDOM, or The Worlds We Make
This may make people mad but in terms of like, enjoyability, this is probably the best. 341, 614, 619, sure, but 617 made me giggle a few times as I wrote it. It was just so much fun to write. He's using Gmod!! I love him!!
I say this having played GMOD for like a few hours tops, and never actually playing on a public server…
- RPC-619 - EXTINCT, Or The Sunlight Moths of Scotland
Third best, I guess? This is the longest though I think. I'm a fan of moths and I figured we needed more, so here we are. Heavily inspired by Sovereign's 009 pope guy thing.
- RPC-782 - Exit Albert: An Investigation Lacking Due Presidents
Minicon entry! This was fun and i got the idea from proto and his boyfriend
- RPC-784 - Enter Again: Memoirs of a Blood-Bather
Another minicon entry :D i had an idea about Bathory (BATHory LOL I JUST NOTICED THAT) for a while and minicon was a great way to get these ideas out there xd
Addendum 2: Documented RPC-BUTT-D Aberrations
341 tie in. Gismo gave some pretty solid crit on this, and I think I fixed most of it, but I still have my doubts. This tale isn't meant to be a standalone thing, but its directly connected to 341.
Again, moths, but these are in space.
GRPC is pretty fun to write in, but it was a bit of a chore getting this to work with everyone else's stuff, and other people would come in and change it!! And not tell me!! arhg
Oh jeez, this is part of LAPITH, which would be this whole tale series. Still thinking about finishing it, but eh, I'm not too big of a fan of where it's going so who knows.
JESSE!! JESSE!! JESSE WE NEED THE DOCUMENTS JESSE
My best tale. So much fun to write. Took FOREVER though. I need to reuse these characters.
ANOTHER MINICON ENTRY LOL ok ok thee joke is that the description of the art is longer than the actual article LOL
also proto is going to name a song after it (?) coolcool if he does do it ill post it here ig
Addendum 3: Undeveloped Instances (BUTT-E/R)
- finish serket
- rewrite second half of 613
- finish lapith
- http://rpcauthority.wikidot.com/forum/t-15109298/rpc-616:the-architect-s-heart helpless folk 🥺
